| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:20:55 PM | yarimelma - no thanks to your $0.02, I find that insensitive and down right rude. A real man should be able to at least call and cancel rather than email and cancel. I know I'm not the only fish, but I took the chance to agree to meet with him and you know what I realized -- he's far from being a fish I want to catch. IT IS HIS LOSS, NOT MINE!
Missfashionjunkie -- thanks! Too bad Texas is so far away.  | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:22:41 PM |
I thought we were just going for coffee not making plans for our wedding.
that was a bit scare eeeehh
a had a meeting once a bit more then what you would think of
she had all her belonging with her
and she told me it wouldn't fit in my car
I ask her what do you mean
she said I come to live with you
I told her to wait for me as I would get a bigger car
and never heard from her anymore ,
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:29:33 PM | | No, I haven't but I have cancelled or changed plans because of the cold feet syndrome. Now in your case, he has told you, he was honest and authentic: you are looking for long-term and he is not ready for a relationship. Quite frankly, you look very innocent from your photos, which I don't have the sense you are, but again, from a male perspective, one probably worries that 1) he is not good enough 2) he will waste your time. Plus, you said "I want someone who's not afraid to tell me the truth ". And now you are complaining? I would bet he did not want to waste your time, but I could be wrong. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:31:12 PM | So here I finally take a chance on meeting someone... and then the day that we are suppose to meet (today) he sends me an email saying he's not ready for a relationship and that it wouldn't be fair to me if I didn't find someone who could treat me right. HUH?!!?! WTF! I thought we were just going for coffee not making plans for our wedding. I just don't get it. I feel really bummed right now. I have a guy who wanted to meet me and then cancels, I had a guy who wanted to meet me, but who changed his mind -- do I give up now and just forget about online dating? I need some advice. Anyone else been in this situation?
Honey.. HONEY.. HONEY... LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!! LISTEN TO MISS ANN PLEASE??
You are beautiful... gorgeous.. it is not you.. it is him.. and he probably told you the truth.. he is not ready for a relationship and he was nervous and was afraid he would make a fool of himself..
Guys am I right about that??
Please don't think it is you honey.. you are wonderful.. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:53:09 PM | Happens on both sides of the coin darlin, don't let it bother you.
I had one send me an email 30 mins before the second date calling it off, funny thing. It's a 45 min drive and I know she knew that I was incommunicado at a client's site two hours prior. *shrug*
Don't make "dates", make "meets" for coffee or something else light, and low pressure the first time around. Much easier on the apllate for all involved I assure you. ;) | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:58:29 PM | I don't necessary advocate cancelling a date at the last minute. But at least it's better than standing you up.
Don't make "dates", make "meets" for coffee or something else light, and low pressure the first time around. Much easier on the apllate for all involved I assure you. ;)
IMO this is semantics. Some people might consider meeting the other person for a coffee, a few drinks, etc to be a date. First dates don't need to be anything fancy or special. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:17:49 PM | | It just seems to be the way it is, with the online dating... people get cold feet, or you get bumped for someone else..etc etc..Don't take it personally I have been threw what you are going experiencing, as well...and I will add, after viewing your profile and pics, it is their loss...lol...and it is!... | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:14:00 PM | | It happens, OP. While it doesn't make it suck any less, you learn to take it less personally as time goes on. I've encountered many a person with cold feet. Even though I've only had one person outright cancel on me (which is still better than pulling the disappearing act), I just chalk it up to their probably not being that great of a match anyway. Life's too short to waste time. Don't give up. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:26:57 PM | OP, yup it happens. Probably, they contacted a bunch of women at the same time and one looked like she would put out more easily so he went with her. I once had a guy I had never met cancel a date at 4 AM on a Sunday  saying that a board meeting had "just come up" at the last minute. Sounded more like a broad meeting to me.
Another time, a guy I met on-line cancelled a date and the reason he gave was that he had run into an ex-girlfriend at a party and gotten back together with her. A few months later, he wrote asking for forgiveness and a second chance as things had not worked out. Based on his profile, it did seem that we had a lot in common. He took me to dinner which went on for 4 hours and then asked if he could see me again. I agreed. After I didn't hear from him but saw him on-line a few times, I e-mailed him and asked...what's up. He said that he didn't feel any connection or chemistry. I then said "It took you 4 hours to figure that out. How come you asked if you could see me again?" I never did get a straight answer.
Consider yourself lucky when losers like that show their true colours before you waste any time with them. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:37:43 PM |
A real man should be able to at least call and cancel rather than email and cancel.
FFS, here we go with the "real man" routine again. He didn't stand you up. He contacted you, told you he wouldn't be there, and gave you a reason - whether or not you believe the reason is up to you. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:53:19 PM |
FFS, here we go with the "real man" routine again. He didn't stand you up. He contacted you, told you he wouldn't be there, and gave you a reason - whether or not you believe the reason is up to you.
I agree. At least he was curtious enough to let you know he was cancelling. He could have just stood you up. So I think he was a real man in letting you know. Maybe not the nicest thing in the world to happen, but it could be worse. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:01:14 PM | It REALLY wasn't you, but him.
He got cold feet--who knows why? At this point, it doesn't matter.
Take more chances! You will be disappointed again (even if he does keep the date), but you need to keep going. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:14:27 PM | | To reassure you, there is nothing wrong with you. The same thing happened to me today and let me tell you it wasnt the first. I know what you mean feeling bummed. I have realized that it is online dating. Who ever created online dating didn't think this whole thing through. I have met about 40 men in the last 2 years, most just once and out of all those there were 2 that were half human. I have met liers, men so full of their selfs, make a date then they don't show, talk to you once on phone and they disappear. It is the most inpersonal way to meet these men. The ones that I have met if I would have met them in any other way then online I probably would not have considered meeting them. All my life up unitl online dating I had no problems meeting people and people I would choose as my friend. All you find is lying idiots that have no intention on meeting you. Although I have experienced a Relationship with a man that lied about everything and therefore he made sure he wouldnt become to attached because he would rather keep all a lie then to admit that he never had any intentions of having any feelings but he did and you know who got hurt not him. This whole thing just keeps getting worse and worse. Any relationships friends, lover whatever take some kind of effort that is the part that starts out as friend and becomes more but not anymore all you have to do is delete. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:23:01 PM | Ouch!
Been there done that.
I feel your pain.
He is a weasel and a wuss all rolled into one.
I just had this happen to me, but I got ghosted!
No Show, No call , no email, nothing. However I must admit I took it very well and made the best of the night.
Just don't internalize it girl, this is on him not you.
Definately don't give him ANY power and just give up now.......no way!
Lots of fish in the sea.
TC
Deb | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:23:46 PM | | BTW, since I am based in Toronto, I am curious to know if the guy who dumped you is the same guy who cancelled a date and then had a 4 hour date with me. Unfortunately, your profile is set so that I can't contact you. It would be interesting if it was the same guy. If so, that's his pattern. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:59:20 PM | Ok, here it goes. There are a few posts here that I truly can't believe, both posted by men... One calling you a drama queen and the other stating that there are other better fish in the sea. With their attitudes they will continue to get what they are putting out . They also don't know the age old saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
You on the other hand, should not give up & move on, he was probably not worthy of you! Chin up and make it a learning experience - I have found a few nice guys on here that I will be friends with and many that should remain single.
I just experienced an interesting one today. Talked to someone via e-mail and phone extensively for a few weeks, agreed to meet for a ball game, didn't here from him for a week, despite my 2 e-mails & 1 phone call, then he has the balls to e-mail me tonight at 10:30 and ask if we are still on for tomorrow. This sounds to me like he's involved with someone else, and is looking for a free ride to the Red Sox game. Sorry, not on my dime!
If you still want to meet people, try googeling Meet-Ups in your area. I have joined a few groups & have found going to events with a group of people more rewarding than this site.
You sound like someone I'd like to chat with, drop me a line.
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:41:20 AM | | If someone does that you just blow them off; many guys and girls just make arrangements with someone and when they meet someone they think is more attractive or more to their liking they dump the other one. NEVER give one of these people another chance. Just internet flakes playing games. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:11:03 AM |
BTW, since I am based in Toronto, I am curious to know if the guy who dumped you is the same guy who cancelled a date and then had a 4 hour date with me. Unfortunately, your profile is set so that I can't contact you. It would be interesting if it was the same guy. If so, that's his pattern.
Was your guy 39, 6'2 of South African decent? If so, then its the same guy. 
So, was he just as lame in person? Someone who I'm glad I didn't have to sit through coffee with? | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:18:36 AM | | No it wasn't the same guy. I guess there are a number lame guys on here. At least you didn't drive 1 hour to get to the date, spend 4 hours with him and then drive another hour to get home. Also, at least you didn't waste 2 years with him while he blew hot and cold and sent mixed messages only to be told that he was interested in marriage PERIOD! Yes definitely count your lucky stars. The sooner one can weed out losers and snake charmers, the better. | |
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| Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:21:21 AM | HI, I WAS JUST READING YOUR MESSAGE THINKING HOW RUDE IS THAT OF THAT GUY HE COULD HAVE LEAST MET YOU FOR A COFFEE AND THEN COULD HAVE MADE HIS EXCUSES AFTERWARDS, OR HE MIGHT HAVE MISSED OUT ON THE BEST THING OF HIS LIFE. AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING SOMEONE FOR A DRINK TONIGHT AND HE HAS JUST CANCELLED ON ME WHILE IM ADDING THIS. | |
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