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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:22:02 PM | | I dunno, maybe you're wearing a flesh-colored shirt in the 3rd photo, but at this size and resolution it looks like cleavage down to your 3rd rib. Seriously. The women are telling you that your pics are really shouting something to men. They're right. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:28:29 PM | Klopper, you really need to drink less when posting. 
OP- the riding picture says something about you. It's your work and something you enjoy. Personally, I wouldn't remove it just because of a couple of creeps. It's a nice photo as was your other face pic. I would add more full length photos later, maybe just ones with less revealing tops is all. Nothing wrong with your choice in clothes but if the pics are creating hassles for you, it's not worth it on here. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:51:49 PM | | Nothing wrong with the one on the horse. Just like I said start approaching men or just picking up on ones that have more to talk about than your boobs. Obviously not guys that have profiles pictures that scream "I'm beating off and/or taking a piss for the camera." Unless bad pictures work for you, but even then... sadly it could never be. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:04:49 PM |
Either I get messages from guys who just want to know my bra size (seriously, it's been more than 3 guys), or comments on riding horses (very immature)
I work hard, and I don't have much time to go out to socialize, so I figured I would have a good shot at finding someone who's good for me here...
is there something I am missing? everyone says they like my profile, but no one ever seems interested enough to keep a convo going.
I think men are intimidated by my very blunt personality, but maybe I am wrong..
thoughts?
You work hard, just not at online dating.
This is the sum of your profile -
"I am in college - pre-med. I love to be outdoors - boating, fishing, quading etc. I train horses and love my 2 dogs...am close with my large family, although they live in Canada. I love movies, books, music of all kinds, and would like to meet someone who has an open mind as well. I would rather stay in, cook dinner, and watch a good movie with a glass of wine, than go out to a club. I am strong willed, focused and can not stand people who have no ambition or motivation in life."
And first date -
"I'd love to go to a nice dinner then a comedy club or something where we can relax and laugh! I have a wicked embarrasing snort when I laugh!"
Very few men can keep a conversation going with that. It doesn't justify anyone being rude to you or making sexual remarks to you, but if you want a certain kind of response from people, how about tailoring your profile towards getting specific responses from the men you'd be interested in while filtering out those you would not be interested in?
You get back what you put in.
Your profile says what you like to do but it doesn't say what you are looking for, not specifically. And it doesn't say what you are not looking for, not specifically.
If you give guys nothing to work with, they will probably give you..... wait for it... here it comes.... nothing.
And if the men who email you are the ones you don't want, why do you care anyway? Why not focus on the ones that you do want? And if the ones you do want don't respond to you or email you first, did you ever stop to think about what you can do to pique their interest? Or garner the responses you want?
Just showing up isn't enough. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:51:18 AM | I see nothing blunt in your profile. Listen, you're attractive, you sit to pee, that's enough for 85% of the men on here and it is what it is. It's why they call it fishing and not catching.
Greg | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:50:30 AM |
boob-obvious!
they're my BOOBS!
what am I going to do with them if I want a full-body pic? duct tape them flat?? come on...
As someone who is large chested, I agree about this. Why should we be made to feel bad just because we have big breasts? I used to try to squash them with a sports bra, but that's even worse as it creates mono-boob. This is just my body, the way it is, and if you can't bring yourself to look at my face because you're looking at my chest, then it's your problem not mine. I think the OP is appropriately dressed and doesn't deserve comments about her chest. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:25:35 AM | MC ~ many attractive/accomplished women come to find out that they have better 'luck' online by being proactive w/ their selection, rather than just weeding thru the multitude of low-brow muttonheads that contact them.
Why don't you try contacting guys in your area that have well written profiles showing some depth of character & varied interests?
You BOTH might be pleasantly surprised.
(BTW - my younger sis is Pre-Med & a real looker too, she often has problems in RL w/ many guys her age being clueless dorks. Hang in there, you'll find a winner!) | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:48:55 AM | HMMMMM my thoughts----
You are 23
The boys you attract are immature
I think it is true what someone said about the bottom feeders
I am in Med school also-- good luck with that
Maybe an older man would be better for you -- not my age (that's too old), but 35ish
Maybe a bright professional man would be more to your liking; because honestly, I believe that a potential mate needs to be someone that is at least as bright as you are.
Example: It is difficult to talk about Endocrinology with a lady that works at Wal-mart | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:57:21 AM | OP
Online dating should not be your only strategy for socialization or dating. Think of this as a quality versus quantity deal. If you have 3 hours to socialize do something more productive like volunteer, attend a class or seminar or join a networking society. My point is that online dating is good for what it is, a way to get the word out without having to be present.
If you use the fishing analogy of POF, think of online dating as being able to fish with a fishing net dragging on the bottom. You cast a wide net but you end up pulling up a lot of crap and spend a lot of painstaking time sorting through it all. You may get one or two quality fish mixed in with the toilet seats and other trash you pick up with the net. If you spend all of your time doing this, how effective is it really? Wouldn't you rather use the net but also stick a pole or two in the water in other places at the same time? That gives you more opportunities. That is why I suggest branching out into other social activities to meet people and date. The more opportunities in different areas you create the more you have to me a quality person.
Just my 2 cents though.
edit: to answer your title question, I wouldn't look at it as being your "fault" but what you do attract in others is under your control. It may not seem that way to you now but as you get more experience in life and more intuition you will see what is in your control and what is not and learn how to manage what is in your control. That is the wonderful part of it in my point of view, you have the power to change what you attract if you choose. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:05:04 AM | And BTW, as far as whether or not it's your fault you're attracting the wrong type of guy, well... if you listen to *some* people, then yes it's your fault.
But I don't buy that.
Speaking from personal experience - any person who has desirable qualities (physical, material, etc) that the vast majority of human beings look for... is gonna attract all sorts. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:05:05 AM | Canuck......
I'm just messing with you, just like you are messing around too
"and he's the type of guy who prompted me to create this thread! irony was so lost on him...sigh" LOL, now your slamming me for you're own irony 
Yep, now, i could take a   | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:26:34 AM | Well to be fair, I didn't see any but the 1 pic you now have posted, but I did look at your profile and it is very short. How can a guy start a conversation with you if there is nothing to really go on?
That would be where I would start personally. YMMV. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:42:00 PM | thoughts?
Thought #1: this belongs in the profile reviews section, not here.
Thought #2: re: the guys who want to know your bra size. Two words: block user. It is fast, simple, easy and to-the-point. And more effective than a sports bra, offline.
Thought #3: re: not much time to socialize. That is a choice you are making, and here I am speaking as a professional with multiple degrees who frequently works a 60+ hour week. You can find time to socialize if you choose to make time to do that.
Thought #4: The number of men who are intimidated by certain women is a lot smaller than the number of men who certain women *think* are intimidated by them. There is a difference between being blunt, and merely being rude. Being well-educated hardly excuses either; in fact, the opposite is more logical.
Thought #5: You are online. Of course you are attracting the wrong kind of guys. Quod erat demonstrandum. | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:51:25 PM |
yeah I had a tank top on under that...bad photo
so I removed all but the one face photo.
see if that works?
And I have to find this thread now? After the pictures have been removed? What horrible timing! :)
A single face pic only can create a set of negative assumptions, but it will cut down on the messages. :)
I'll try to be serious now.
There are a lot of idiots online just like there are in a bar or club. There's no avoiding them really. I believe there are women out there who respond to that sort of nonsense because otherwise they would stop doing it. Some women must respond to it. Since those sort of replies require little to no effort they can make them by the thousands.
But to answer your question, no it's not your fault idiots respond to you they basically send out hundreds to thousands of replies they put no thought into, they are playing a numbers game. Eventually they find a woman who responds to it.
As far as attracting non-idiots, the more meaningful text in your profile, the better.
If you were close by I'd try to come up with something to say based on your profile. (especially if there was a picture that was "boob-obvious! " :) ) But because your profile is so short it would be a couple lines at best, and no crude jokes either. Maybe just a bad one.... :) | |
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| Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:30:21 PM | Well ..........
1) The guy that doesn't notice the attributes that God gave you to attract our attention isn't going to be much of a man. BUT if he isn't evolved enough to carry on a conversation without bringing it up ...........he's not much of a catch.
2) Suggestion be more specific in your interest section(eg.....horses and dogs vs animals). I raised Arabs for years so I check from time to time to see who in my area is into horses. I am a sculptor so I put "artist " in to see what artists are in the area. You should get more responses in tune with your social/intellectual level
You are living in "Horse City USA" there should be a line for an attractive, intelligent horsewoman with goals. I know there was when I lived there ........a long one!!
Lastly an attractive woman will always attract an inordinate amount of jerks, just weed them out. If it was easy none of us would be here | |
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