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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:18:39 AM |
I find that there are very few men I am really, truly attracted to at first glance.
If he is magnificent, I will ask him.
It's rare.
I agree - I do most of the approaching and initiating, and then from there I leave it up to him to make the second move - if that's further conversation I will ask to meet...but if I am talking with a man who approaches me that I find that interesting I will no doubt ask. It's just that I rarely do.
I can only work with what I got. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:45:28 AM | Wow, I will say, it never crossed my mind that men wouldnt want a woman to ask him out or would feel less attracted to or even not consider her because SHE asked!! Seems like the guy has insecurity issues or something. lol
That just doesnt compute to me. I find that to be a positive. She is confident enough to ask, or has the attitude of going for what she wants/likes. I suppose others might call it aggressive, but I disagree. Aggressive would be the same lady continuing to ask even after you have let her know that there isnt mutual interest.
I find self confident women a turn on. I have never been a fan of the meek, timid, shy women that you almost have to drag out of their shell.
But for the ladies that "refuse" or just dont do it. Would you, say, initiate a chat with a guy or make small talk with him, just to show that you are interested thereby almost giving him a "Green light?" Or is that too out of bounds for you as well.
Just my $0.02 | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:50:40 AM | | Dumpling, interesting statistic, didn't realize the ratio was that large. Another thing to remember that NYC and LA share is the influx of highly aggressive people bent on furthering their careers. It would seem to me that same drive would spillover into their personal lives. It always amazed me how many people relocated to NY from all over the country to climb that ladder to corporate success. Bob | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:52:00 AM | ^^^ absolutely - I would even ask for an in person meet if we're chatting online - which I do. There is just something romantic about a guy asking me on the first date. It has nothing to do being shy or not confident, for me anyway...
Edit: my post is meant for Gentleman | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:53:43 PM | | If they are close in my geographical location, within ten to twenty minutes, I will ask all of them out. In fact, I have made it a standard to ask out all the men on match.com and POF, who are nearby. I feel we would have more in common, because of the nature of the residents who live in my neighborhood. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:26:43 PM | | I have made first contact and asked guys out and always went dutch. Unfortunately, you cannot find out much about a person on a two hour first meet. The only thing you can determine is if their looks are satisfactory and the very basic information to consider a second date. If you like someone even a little bit on the first meet, why not try a second and get to know them better. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:52:02 AM | | Well it has been interesting. Looks like we have run out of responders. It seems from reading that even this small cross section has certain caveats before ladies make first contact. I had hoped to see more women post. Thank you all for taking the time, I will watch for more, though I still think this has demonstrated women contacting men for a first meet or date is very very small. Bob | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:01:59 PM |
I find that there are very few men I am really, truly attracted to at first glance.
If he is magnificent, I will ask him.
It's rare.
Wow, talk about being arrogant! Unless he's magnificent, you don't want to lower yourself and ask. I guess you're not going to be asking anyone because it's very rare.
May I feed you grapes now, your royal majesty? | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:15:50 PM | I think the OP wants this to be over but I would like to respond.
Plain and simple, I have never been the one to ask a man out so I have no idea about how to go about it.
This seems to be a fairly new idea, at least for me at the age of 48.
Guys - give me some tips - If you give me your phone number what should I ask for a in a date? Do I bring up who pays? What is normal for you guys? Thanks I could really use this advice.
The money issue has never been big for me - I like to drink beer and would certainly pay my own way - so a date with me would never be expensive or one-sided. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:52:28 PM | | I have... and he has yet to accept. But I'm still hopeful he will come to his senses. Must be this heat -- it does crazy things to people. I'm not discouraged that he hasn't said yes, because I have a feeling deep down he wants to say yes, he's just waiting for the right moment. Or I could be wrong too, it which case that's ok. Wouldn't stop me from asking someone just because a few people decline. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:45:29 PM | I get emails from women asking me to meet them but not one has said they would pay.
I really dought that there are many women that invite a man out and offers to pay too.
I think women are too cheap to do anything like that..
Most of them are out for a free ride and have no intentions of paying for anything.
It is nice when they offer to go to bed with you when they are horny.
But most only do that when they are wanting something from you.
Wow nebula22. I'm guessing you don't get asked for too many second dates with that kind of attitude. I haven't looked at your profile, but I would be willing to bet that if you put this kind of rant into your profile you should be able to cut down on all those horny women asking you to go to bed with them. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:51:32 PM | Never. I don't chase. I am old fashioned. I love being chased, sought after.
I went out with a woman about six months ago who told me the same thing; that she wanted to be chased and pursued. I told her, "well, good luck with that."
We're still seeing each other. And I still don't chase. I'm too damned old and tired for those kind of games anymore. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:08:06 PM | On first dates I feel 10 times better if it is 50/50 no pressure no preconceived entitlement ideas just two strangers getting together to meet. After the first date its up for grabs sometimes I have cooked to even things out if the guys are determined to pay. Frankly I would just as soon make it 50/50 or take turns it just feels more fair.
I have hinted around after a month of chatting with someone but I would just as soon the guy ask. I am not saying I don't feel assertive enough I just like to be pursued , but then again don't we all.  | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:23:27 PM | | Columbia, no it just seemed to stop, I encourage all to keep writing, good discussion. As to all your questions, it seems largely a matter of age, over 40 seems women don't, under 40 women do. As for how, many women seem not have a problem initiating email contact, with a "your profile this or that". Next step would be a coffee or drink, nothing that breaks the bank. As you communicate emails, IM, phone, when your comfortable with who he is "how about we meet for coffee" or " tough week, why don't we meet for a drink after work friday?" you can always add "I'll buy the first round". Now though you get into the part that's tricky, some women on here have alledged, men will pull back or put you in the "no date" zone. After reading all these responses and thinking it through, I'd be tickled pink if a woman did that. As to sex, you have to talk to a guy, a couple of times to gauge where or what he thinks is happening. I don't go there, certainly not on a first date. Sex is for when it's going somewhere, at least for me. Hope this helped. Bob | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:37:33 PM |
Unless he's magnificent, you don't want to lower yourself and ask. I guess you're not going to be asking anyone because it's very rare.
This response insinuates that a woman should ask men out that she's really not all that into...why would that make any sense? If she wants the man to be magnificent (to her) then I don't see arrogance. She simply chooses not to date or ask to date unless she's interested. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want.
May I feed you grapes now, your royal majesty?
That would be highness, lol - and yes, if a man wants to feed a woman grapes, why fight it? Crack a poetry book and wear a tight little pair of shorts while you're at it. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:18:30 PM | | This is the "catch 22" of dating life. Guys say they LOVE women to ask them out, but my experience has been they don't. Now maybe in the past I picked men who were not attracted to me or what not, but it has never been good for me. I will ask a guy out if we have gone on a date and we click. I always pay if I ask someone out. I do not make the initial first move though. | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:40:04 PM | I typically dont ask men out for a few important reasons.
Men seem to be hard-wired to be pursuers, (its biology, I didn't make the rules, just forced to play by them). If the pursuit is taken away (by me pursuing them, or, asking them out on a dates) they tend to be lazy in relationships. I have had this experience with each and every man I have asked out. So I now listen to my mother's advice and don't ask. I do initiate flirting... and if he brings up the subject "maybe we can do this or that" I will respond "ok, so when are we gonna do this or that, like you said". So there's no misunderstanding as to whether or not I'm interested.
Anything more than that... like having to hit them over the head with a brick.. and I'm sorry they are either too lazy or too socially unsophisticated to be with me. I would be more content to be alone than with someone like that.
Now, with that said, I do understand that some guys are shy. For that, I do amp up the flirting a bit. But they still have to make the first move. If they are really interested they will, if they are not, they wont.... its as simple as that.
If I ever DO ask a guy out... its because I've already relegated him to the friend zone.  | |
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| Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:56:55 PM |
I never ask out, but if I like him a lot - I get him to ask me out.
Here is a good one. If women do not do the asking, being that they are shy, timid, uncertain, or prideful even, what does a woman do in order to get a man to ask her out? | |
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If I am enjoying someone's conversations, etc...I don't mind asking them if they would like to meet up. Why wait for the man to ask?
