| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:42:38 PM | We only live once and to reduce your chances of missing the boat by shying away from messaging first seems silly,considering this is primarily a dating site.
A man must be daft to think that just cos a womens sent a message that shes in the bag or even considering persuing them.we may chat to a dozen women/men in the pub over a few hours,doesnt mean that they all are interested.
Be brave whatever your sex,it costs nowt! | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:27:50 PM | I have to say, I have made more first contacts than positive replies to first contacts.
However, I think a man being flattered at receiving a first contact is a long way from them being encouraged to perceive you as a possible future partner.
As is the same in person, blokes usually seem more likely to be truly drawn to some one they've made first contact with.
Some blokes I'll try, others I just get the impression I'd put off. Its frustrating but seems to be true judging from my experience. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:02:53 PM | I have sent quite a few messages . Some I had no reply. some just said 'no thanks' and I have had a few pleasanat messages back. I suppose its a numbers game.
However I have only had men making the first contact on only 2 occasions. Does that mean I'm not suitable dating materail or is that most girsl experience | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:23:17 PM | @samstyles
but that's such a misnomer
'However, I think a man being flattered at receiving a first contact is a long way from them being encouraged to perceive you as a possible future partner.'
flip it around and blokes could say the exact same thing. if we all thought that, no one would mail anyone. dating is a leap of faith by its very nature. you take a chance every time you send an email to someone. you don't know what their response is going to be. But we still do it.
many moons ago I used to think 'oh I can't mail her, she's out of my league' well bugger that now. I'm me. nice guy, lots to offer the right person. she might just be the right person. If I see someones profile and I like the sound / look of them, I'll mail.
Don't ask, don't get and I'm not going to worry about what ifs and let a chance slip through my fingers. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:58:38 PM | I gladly message first
That is if I find a profile or picture I want to message to.
What does not happen often :(
I message first as I know because of having my picture hidden my profile does not get clicked on so they just don't know what they miss  | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:35:44 AM | It doesn't bother me if a lady makes first contact...in fact it's a positive thing in that it kinda indicates a strength of personality.
SOME women are very lazy when it comes to contacting, but I suppose this is because men are very pro-active in this area, so they can afford to take the 'sit back and wait' approach.
I think that it's a bit of a shame though...it indicates a bit of mental laziness...almost a lack of courage. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:13:44 PM | Ha ha, thanks Andy, that's very sweet of you, but I think the odds are against so many terminally broken men!
The other problem is men who make first contact, and though I've replied positively, that's the last I hear from them!
Either my messages are all wrong or I think some people get bored and send loads of random messages just for the ego boost from positive responses with no real interest... how irritating!
Does this happen to others too? | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:46:19 AM | Women should send a message first. I've had a few say hi first and I see nothing wrong with it. Granted they usually only say hi want to chat (but complain if a guy does it to them).
If you like the sound of someone don't expect them to make the first move! If you want something to happen you've got to make it happen for yourself!
None of this it makes me look desperate or it's a man's job to initiate conversation rubbish! It makes you look approachable and open to getting to know someone new. It's the already shallow **stards that will judge you for initiating first. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:55:03 AM | However, I think a man being flattered at receiving a first contact is a long way from them being encouraged to perceive you as a possible future partner.
As is the same in person, blokes usually seem more likely to be truly drawn to some one they've made first contact with. Absolutely right.
Well I was the one who made the original comment about feeling flattered and I stand by what I said. I'm afraid in my case ladies you are both wrong. I have had zero dates with women I have emailed first, but lots with women who have emailed me first.
If it was just a "Hello" then no I would feel that way. But if a lady has seen my picture, read my profile, and thought "He seems nice" and taken the time to write me a nice email then yes I would feel flattered. And why not. She has picked me out of a sea of people available. 
In which case I would read her profile and take the time to email her back and find out some more about her and see what we have in common. Maybe I'm just different, but in a good way of course 
First contact is just that. I don't think anyone could write a initial email that would make a person think "Wow" future partner. And I'd be a bit frightened if someone did from one of my emails too.
All ladies wanting to try and create such an initial email though, please feel free to send them to me  | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:24:49 AM | Graham, there is nothing wrong with feeling flattered, I feel flattered by most of the contacts I receive too.
My point was that many men, flattered or not, seem to use receiving first contact from a woman to type cast her. By all means not all men, and it's nice to hear from one that apparently doesn't, I agree you must be different in a good way!
If I didn't believe that by showing that he can be open minded about it, a bloke was proving himself a better person, and there is the odd one or three out there then I wouldn't be making ANY first contacts at all!
When you quoted me with
future partner , you left out a VERY important word...
potential . By this I just meant that a man wasn't ruling the idea out, but I sense you knew that and were just teasing, right? 
I wouldn't send anyone an email like that even if I knew how, I might end up not being able to get rid of someone I didn't like so much once I knew more!  | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:31:11 AM |
My point was that many men, flattered or not, seem to use receiving first contact from a woman to type cast her. By all means not all men, and it's nice to hear from one that apparently doesn't, I agree you must be different in a good way!
Why thank you. I'm flattered again. 
I promise I did a straight copy and paste of what you put.
Me.....teasing....on the POF forum..... where ever did you get such an idea | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:09:59 PM |
Ha ha, thanks Andy, that's very sweet of you, but I think the odds are against so many terminally broken men!
The other problem is men who make first contact, and though I've replied positively, that's the last I hear from them!
*cough* *cough* ahem (checks email - no, still nothing...) :-) | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:22:36 PM | Girls making first contact is very very flattering that said i feel it is usually still the guy making the first move but thankfully a lot of women are not as coy as they perhaps first were on contact being made.
Also a lot of us are middleish aged and so we are not learning by mistakes teenagers we have made our mistakes and now know what we want. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:52:33 AM | I have only had a profile for a few weeks and have contacted only one lady, the rest have all contacted me first.
One of them is a lovely lady and we had our first date last night, Would I have contacted her? Possibly, but possibly not.
Ladies, get on with it :-) | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:43:46 AM | Hi all
Well I've only been on here a short while but I see no problem with ladies making the first contact. I have been contacted by a couple of ladies whose profiles I hadn't seen and we chat quite regularly.
Who knows what the future holds but if they hadn't have taken the trouble to contact I might not have picked up on their profile.
Why shouldn't the ladies make first contact after all you are all on here to meet people the as the guys, right? | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:28:14 PM | Good topic 
I have sent about 5/6 messages first, 2-3 were genuine and the rest was a joke.
I do not send the messages not for the reasonv of 'not being the first' but for the same reason I am standing away from a relationship. I am afraid that I might get involved in something I am not sure about and I might hurt people.I mean, I do not want to hurt good guys.
I also notice I send messages to people who live abroad, or to people where there is no absolute chance to end up together with. Latest the most. 
It might be the subconscious way of being safe and staying single.
I might as well send a message to a pop star. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:43:15 PM | I think it's nice to get a message first. Lets face it a lot of the time we don't do anything in 'real life' til we think she might respond positively? That could be a girl following you to th ebar so you speak to her, dancing in front of you, whatever.
I've had 2 message me since I came on here and I think it's very nice. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:59:03 PM |
Well you ought to be aware as I've posted before and after you now on this thread.
If I search for FSM within 10 miles of my location I get 600+ results...
I doubt they'll all post in this thread. | |
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| Girls Sending First Contact Messages To The Guys ....
Posted: 7/15/2008 2:12:32 PM | Have to say if I ever get a first contact from a lady I am extremely Flattered......and I always send back a thank you regardless of whether I'd be interested or not....
it is an interesting thing that women won't send first in case of rejection.... how do you think us poor guys feel???
This site can be such an ego booster...... but it can also be such an ego shatterer as well....... | |
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