| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:21:45 PM |
Well. maybe I didn't make myself clear but actually this was what I meant - I have been castigated on this thread for not being open to people with less education but I did in fact mean messages from people who actually appear to have a mild learning disability. (Hmmm and before the disability rights brigade plough in, my son has special ed needs so no I'm not being discriminatory).
Sure it is discriminatory stating about someone that has a mild learning disability. Seems like you don't get that because someone has problems with run-on sentences, such as yourself, may appear to be less than literate, but in real life might be quite educated. IQ's aren't posted on here. IQ's are just a number. It is what you do with your abilities that makes you who you are. You can accept your son for the person he is, but you aren't accepting others for their abilities.
Personally, I can't stand to read lower case "i" and other text-message writing. I won't call those using it stupid or learning disabled, just lazy. I know that I have typed hear for here, there for their, and tons of other spelling and grammar errors. I know I make mistakes. It is part of being human.
I don't like out door picnics, I don't like to eat warm sandwiches, dried bread, cake or pie with flies flying around it and landing on it. I like to eat picnics on beds. Picnic beds are the best with shrimp scampi.
Relax and have some fun. No one expects you to date everyone that you email or reply to. Just enjoy the fishing. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:23:08 PM | OP I can totally relate.
I am a writer and a woman of many words, if you can't keep up then it isn't going to work on a serious basis. Friends of course but nothing more.
I just had to deal with this myself recently and no he hadn't even read my profile when he messaged me and I simply asked him if he had read my profile??? and alas I didn't think we would be a good match.
He responded with no he had not read it first and he understood and agreed.
TC
Deb | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:35:54 PM | To notonly....In regard to your OP. I have received first contact emails that were written in a childlike, disjointed manner, with multiple spelling mistakes, bad grammar and no paragraph breaks. In all but one case I looked at the profile, determined that we would probably not be a match, and sent a polite reply stating that clearly but not in an insulting way. In one man's case, he and I are still great friends, and chat nearly every day. He is a man of few words, but those (words) he writes speak quite eloquently of the kind, loving, and caring man behind the unique writing style.
On the other hand, I dated a man for four years who was constantly saying things like "more better," much to my annoyance. After months of trying to correct him of this habit, I gave up and simply accepted that as one of his quirks. Our breakup had nothing to do with his poor usage of the English language. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:24:47 AM | There "is" something wrong with a few of you
Why do you think you need to take charge of this woman's life and designate her elitist? All of you have not taken up with the first person to come along that sent you an Email. Therefore you rejected them because...
"If you spot it, you got it" and "Like a flitting sparrow that doesn't land, is a curse that is undeserved"
The OP simply wants to ensure she has a mate she can really talk to so life will be interesting for her. But, some, merely have latched onto "elitist" ...as if she is, and clearly is not. So, why do you suppose this matters so much to you? How about working out your own life with yourself...people who are elitist, or appear elitist (because you perceived) remind you of "what?" in you, and bring out "what?" in you...
Well...let's talk about how well your dating life is going...are ya gettin' in everywhere "you think you should be"? Maybe, for example, you're over weight and you want a certain kind of people dating you you imagine to be what you want; that will make you feel like something...to date a kind of person , "you can accept", yet those people aren't letting you in. So...find the nearest "elitist" and let them know how it's their fault...so on and so forth.
If you think I'm talking about you in this post...the sparrow certainly lands eh? What would beautifully cap off my post would be for someone to attack it. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:21:42 PM |
If you think I'm talking about you in this post...the sparrow certainly lands eh? What would beautifully cap off my post would be for someone to attack it.
Well the sparrow doesn't land on MY head, but it sounds like he shit on yours whilst flying over.
I really don't much care one way or the other, but if the OP is looking for a Rhodes scholar, free online dating sites might not be her leadoff option. Just a thought. If she can't figure out how to compose a simple, "thank you for your email but..." maybe she's not as bright a bulb as she thinks she is.
As far as learning disabilities or mild cognitive dysfunction...many BRILLIANT people have had those challenges.
This is the OT
a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
If she can't figure out how to politely say "no thanks", maybe SHE'S the one missing a sandwich or brick or whatever.
Cindy O | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:29:30 PM | the Second post nailed it right on the head. This is a very appropriate response to a guy, if you aren't interested for ANY REASON.
"Thank you for you interest, however I don't believe we would be a good match. Take care and good luck to you."
That says it all. If the guy persists. Just delete, block and move on.
Good Luck.
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:57:28 PM | wouldn't you love to take all of the people that are sandwiches short of a picnic and put them in a pot, warm them over the open fire and make
GUESS WHAT STEW???mmm
mmm good   | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:42:36 PM | Here's what's wrong with the OP and a couple of other folks...
The OP stated a thread purporting to SEEK advice.
I'm academically bright and articulate, in real life and it says so on my profile lol. How do I handle it when someone clearly not intellectually adequate contacts me?
If she was all that "bright", couldn't she figure out how to write, in short sentences composed of one syllable words, a polite refusal? Why does she need to post a thread seeking advice on the subject? It's not rocket science. Given the number of threads/postings I've seen regarding men who send sexually explicit emails to female PoF members,it seems like emails from guys who may not be "academically bright and articulate", would be a minor issue.
No, I'm sorry,maybe we were reading TOO MUCH "between the lines", but the OT came across as "how dare these really dumb, almost retarded guys contact me?" That sort of pisses off people who were brought up to believe that it's incredibly cruel and just plain wrong to disrespect people who have physical , mental,or learning challenges.
The OP simply wants to ensure she has a mate she can really talk to so life will be interesting for her.
Well, if she's so bright, she should be able to work that out for herself without posting a thread that disrespects men who've done nothing to deserve it.
It's one thing to create a thread to b*tch about men who send women PoF users lewd/sexually explicit emails implying that she must be some kind of free whore. That's men who are intentionally being dumbass losers. They DESERVE to be b*tched about. I could understand any woman PoF member pitching a b*tch about that.
But emails from guys who maybe are not book smart, or don't express themselves well via email? Pffft...that's not worth ****ing about.
Cindy O | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:11:24 PM | What do you do with a guy who e-mails you that he is sitting in his diaper wanting you to change him? I replied, "No thank you" and moved on. I had another guy who kept e-mailing me Bible passages. I replied, "We seem to be a bit different. Happy fishing" and that was it.
You don't feel a guy just say "no thanks." | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:36:22 PM | HiGh OPeee
pleeze due knot emale me nuthin bout nuthin or sez to me abowt not bein no match. cuz I no aybill underpants you. my's brane is wee and frajill and mite xpload iffin you senz me sum kindz uf ritten dismissill.
me go now home sew to be wiff my's pooter. my's pooter dont neffer disspect me. my's pooter luvs me duh wey i ham...n cheeze.... sammich? shore, tanks 2 u berry mush.
~sd~ | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:59:37 PM | | And Einstein couldnt comprehend tying his own shoes, . I think you seek someone on a academic equal level rather than plain ole joe, which is fine, thats your choice, but being book smart does not equate to being able to put into practice what you have learned, case in point. How to say no.. It is rather simple. When you don`t feel attracted to another person for what ever reason, No not interested, or No Thank You if you feel like being polite. or third option, works every time. just read /delete like most others do. very simple. try and have a nice day. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:58:48 PM | True Spiderette.....
people are attracted to people similar to themselves. nothing wrong with that. i don't view that as being elitist unless one flagrantly waves it under other people's noses (in which case, i see it as insecurity rather than elitism).
Is'nt this exactly what this lady is doing? Waving her PHD under everybody's nose?
Fair enough she is proud of it I expect. However in my experience I have rarely met an academic with social graces and basic common sense, they always seem a tad uncomfortable being in the presence of normal people which maybe why this lady is out of her depth here and asking for our common sense opinions how to deal with a very normal situation of blowing people off.......
Also, its worth noting that some academics and high performers in fact suffer with Aspergers which is classed as a special need isn't it? OP I realised you must have difficulty relating to the average human being as soon as you spoke of getting mail off men with what appears to be mild learning difficulties. I'm sure most of us would not want to sound so up our own ar8es to even mention it. Just because your son has special needs doesn't excuse you from living by the same rules as the rest of us, indeed you are displaying discrimination. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:09:24 AM | See all these replies taking you to task?
That's what you get when you are straight up with insecure people.
You can't please all of the people all of the time.
Just hit "delete", and move on to the next one. You don't owe anyone an explanation, nicety, apology, or even a response.
EDIT:
XinXpired....high five. Yer my kinda man. If you lived closer, I'd buy ya lunch. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:48:15 AM | I am with DaveB951 on this...
And the phrase in the subject line usually refers to a person who has some mental/social failing, not someone who is not up to a particular 'mensa' measurement.
I was hoping this would be an amusing thread about really odd people.
But, alas, it is just a mere mundane request to know how to do what most anyone knows how to do.
I doesn't take a genius to just say, thanks, but no thanks as has been pointed out.
Personally, I put in my profile an example as to the level of intelligence I would prefer. Not that it is a big deal, but I do grow tired of some who can't carry on a simple conversation.
If I do get a guy messaging me that can't carry on a conversation to the level I am used to, I just let them know right away what I would prefer discussing and if they still don't get it, I just tell them it really was nice talking, but I don't think we have anything in common.
It's not rocket science! Well, maybe for the OP that is what it is, but that is her preference.
Just being silly with the last line. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 2:10:40 AM | Excellent question.
I have an autistic son, so for myself - I always try to consider that possibly the person writing is doing their absolute best...
This being said I would have no desire to be rude or hurt another woman's child.
So if they ask me questions, then I reply to what has been asked.
If they inquire about am I interested in them I respond with: "Thank you but I don't believe we would suit, I wish you success in finding someone right for you"
I don't condone lying - however, you can also avoid some things by simply replying that you're "getting to know" someone special to you that you have met online and do not want to consider any other men at this time.
Good luck! | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:02:18 AM | OP my father told me something I will never forget. The more one talks, the more chances he will make a mistake and say something incorrect or stupid. To this day I still believe this. If you're so intelligent why is the pic of you and your vehicle sideways? Aren't you smart enough to rotate the pic?
Even the smartest people in the world can say something stupid, clearly you just have. | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:25:38 PM | “Do not forget to entertain strangers,(meaning be kind) for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels” Hebrews 13
Anyone who doesnt have the common decency to be nice to someone they dont know, is no better than Bush killing innocent people and sending us off to die while his kids stay at home.
How are you going to treat someone you dont know like crap, yet say you're a good/decent person blah blah
Just be nice and say not interested in dating or hanging out, but to make a big deal out of it and talk smack, is about as deserving of an asskicking as it gets. Its real simple! | |
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:38:42 PM | OP, another way for you to ensure that you get people that you feel you won't have to talk down to. Is to put an educational degree requirement.
Those without will be disgusted you asked and not contact you, those with it, will probably contact you.
You could also say that your a tournament Scrabble player and that you want to find someone that can beat you.
You shouldn't feel bad about your own requirements. We all have them.
Just don't treat people badly. Be polite.
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| a sandwich short of a picnic - how to say no?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:25:01 PM |
some academics and high performers in fact suffer with Aspergers
Geez, it isn't like a disease! Aspies don't roll around on the floor moaning and groaning...suffering.
Not all that have high IQ's or test high have Aspergers. Not all that have high IQ's are sociable. Not all those that have low IQ's are not sociable and some have a great deal of knowledge.
I just hate seeing people grouped. I see people like a rainbow, we all fit on there some place. I am still kind of doing the purple... | |
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