| my relationship story
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:12:01 AM | Re the Opost
IMO as a man, I think that if he does go back or hook up with his ex again, then he is a moron and good riddance! But I think it is unlikely to happen. Not putting pressure on him is good advice. As per him not respecting the OP by engaging her in his "problems", is that not what relationships are for???
BTW, I am astounded by the mentality underlying some of the posts of fellow posters. It seems that many women still these days treat love and rel as an "investment" and the man as a "possesion"/asset. That is not the way life works out. Affairs of the heart are unpredictable by nature and not to be "invested" in. Stocks, bonds and real estate are "investments". Relationships are based on emotion and they are unpredictable. Except for ones based on convenience and common "assets", not love or eros.
Not dating a separated man/woman is one of the signs of what a "calculating" way some people approach affairs of the heart.
The OP is doing the right thing, IMO, and if the man is "good" he will stay with her or at least she won't lose him to his ex. If he does not, then that was a good test to the rel. Most rels get tested much later and fail or not.
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Posted: 7/3/2008 4:44:03 AM | | He sounds like an amazing guy, Autism takes a kindred heart. With one set-back , is it a no-no for you to be invited to the visits@ the "ex's" home with his daughter? Is your son invited? After 10 months, an extended invitation to you and / or your son would pan a sign of consideration & respect. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 8:36:43 AM | | Honey, you both are adulterers, that man is not single. He is very much a married man and has no obligations to you what so ever, sorry if you don't want to hear it. You let him have his cake and eat it too. You are silly to think of this "beautiful, special woman" as an "ex." SHE IS NOT AN EX YET. And remember, if he is cheating with you on her, he will cheat on you too. Trust me, I've been there. Find an available man, what are you doing on here anyway? Good luck, you got your son to think of too. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 8:46:18 AM | ^^^ If you looked at my profile I explained I am here for the forums ONLY. I wanted relationship advice so I had to start a profile. That's not okay? And how did he cheat on her? Their relationship ended. She started a relationship long before he ever did.
My bf talked to his "ex"wife last night. They're going ahead with the divorce. She's well aware he wants to be with me. She's fine with it. End of story. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 8:50:13 AM | I have a question that everyone has seemed to have skipped over. He has been going though this divorce for a year and a half and it won’t be finished until then end of this year. That’s 2 years for something that it seems they both agree upon. My divorce was along the same grounds and we started and finished the whole thing in 3 months and that included dividing up the assets and the visitation rights with my kids and everything else. So it seems that someone is DRAGGING their feet for some reason or another.
I would have to ask him, what is taking so long and WHY?? | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 8:53:10 AM | When you asked him if he wanted to reconcile, where was the statement that he loved you too much to go back to her??? It was all about HER, did he point you out as one of the reasons for not reconciling? Uh... red alert...
When my b/f was going thru a divorce (years before I met him), his soon-to-be ex would not allow him to visit his son unless he came to the house and had sex with her first. Haha, so he says. Yah right. If he's visiting his daughter at her mother's house, chances are pretty fair that he's also "visiting" the mother... | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 9:00:50 PM | DUH LADY What do you think that I have been telling you???????????????????
My ex husband is "suing" me to pay his lawyer fees when he sent me pictures of him having sex with another woman. OK another 50 pages of paperwork. BUT WHAT ELSE AM I SAYING TO YOU?????????????????????????
HE HAS BEEN Cheating on me with "this one" for over a year and won't even let the divorce finish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And HE Begged to CUM back to me!!!!!!!!!!
Please stop being so niave. Things don't take so long and I don't think that it is her lying or tying it up. and "YOU" have an autistic son and are believeing this (((((whatever he is)))))))) blindly.
i would be 100million persent suprised if he marries you. I am not saying this to hurt you. I am trying to open your eyes!!!!!!!!!! i don't think that you want to be bed hopping and i don't see you being happy. he is committed to his wife and family.
oh let me give you something else to think of
i just spoke this week with my ex husband who is living with another woman's lawyer
ok!!!!!!!!! so his lawyer!!!!!!now i am out of this thing DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE LAWYER ASKED ME??? FYI.........do i want to R E C O N C I L E
W O U L D I T AK E H I S S O R R Y A S S B A C K
you don't need to end up any further hurt | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 11:39:53 PM | well damn... bitterness is still strong.... Vixon... you are in no place emotionally to give advice..... your situation is TOTALLY different.. this man was separated when she met him.... he didn't cheat.... your bitterness is scary..... you are beyond the norm of being upset... you can't relate your story with this one....
as for the divorce taking a long time.... that can happen depending on what they need to divide... I have a girlfriend who has been separated for 2 years and only 6 months ago filed for divorce.... she wasn't in a hurry because that means they have to figure out how to divide a home without selling which neither can afford.... and other assets.... my friend has no desire to reconcile... and no desire to displace her children from the home they have lived in for their whole lives.... my guess is that some of that would change if either she or her ex met someone.... | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 12:23:42 AM | | OP, explain to your boyfriend that it is unhealthy for the children to see he and his ex-wife together like that. It will give these children false hope of a reconciliation. It's great that it's an amicable separation, but any psychologist will tell you that their getting together like this is not good for the kids. Imagine the shock to the system the kids would experience when the divorce actually came through? If he can understand this, maybe he'll come to his senses. If not, what's the problem with you joining the party? If he or his wife have a problem with you joining in, then I would be very suspicious as to his future plans. And, don't let him tell you that your being there would "confuse" the kids, because the kids are confused already..... | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 5:08:23 AM | Look the man came with baggage and you knew this when you dated him and if hisex (mother of his children) wish him to have a meal wtf is it to do with you spolit or what so many new women on the scene end up so jealous and make it so difficult for the man to spend time with kids they dont bother any more and its women like you me me me me me that start that circle and the kids lose out on their father.
Get a single man and stop nit picking on men who have a pst long before YOU came along | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 3:29:19 PM | I suggested also for you to get involved in the picture. if your are REALLY in HIS life you will start now with his kids like he is with yours!!!!!!
Please
you have a child
He has to PROVE HIMSELF and bring you 100% in the picture if their marriage IS over!!!!!! and I say if!!!!! so that YOUR child doesn't get hurt!!!!!!
there is more that i can tell you if you want to talk.
You have to be 100%
GET IT???
YOU HAVE A KID!!!!!!
Your child comes first
this is the only way that you can protect YOURchild is to pin him in a corner
this man is breaking his child's heart
his wife's heart
do you hneed him to dump you and ultimately break your CHILD'S heart????
I will tell you how an autistic child takes rejection and being DUMPED!!!!!!
It is NOT NICE!!!!!! | |
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Posted: 7/18/2008 12:30:18 AM | | I think he will just end up doing the same thing to you that he is doing to his wife(if he isn't already). I'm not saying "once a cheater, always a cheater," but he is. Find a single guy. Like me | |
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