*pulls on her "man pants" to answer *
You were both at fault. You were at fault for leading him on over the phone. Regardless of what you said about no sex on the first meet, you still did risque things with him over the phone, thus sending mixed signals.
He played you thinking that despite what you said on the phone about no sex on the first meet, he knew you were willing to say risque things on the phone, so he figured once you got together, you would be willing to follow up in person.
Did you say "I have never done this before........." when on the phone? Did he say "I know, but just go for it........."
Don't do something on the phone you wouldn't do in person, save yourself the grief.
I think every woman should have some "man pants."
I agree. Months and months of calls too and no meet.