| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:50:57 AM | I don't like gossip like who is sleeping with who and drama. Unless you'd have proof write me off on wither or not I'd want to know. Now if you "busted them" sleeping with each other, kissing passionately, etc.
And if one confessed to you, then just hold it in. Sorry but its none of your business.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:03:48 AM | If it were me I would tell the women and end the friendship. Kill two birds with one stone. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that. It shows that they are disloyal and not trustworthy. If they aren't loyal to their spouse then how will they be loyal to you as a friend.
I have seen married people bring home std's on two occasions. It is very sad and for the life of me I can't understand why the spouse stayed.
My boyfriend of almost 2 years cheated on me all the time when I was 23. I had my doubts but had no proof of what was going on. We were at a party and one of his co-workers wives came and told me. I was very appreciative and got out of the relationship. My ex is now cheating on his wife today.
These women deserve to know, for their own health and sanity. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:42:17 PM | | As a former cheater i say let it alone. All lies find the light. I agree that it is wrong and it should bother you that your good friends are immoral. The smart thing to do is to talk with them about the decisions they are making. Especially those with children involved. What you may find out is that they may not be happy in their marriages and are sticking with it because of the kids. This does not make it right. If you are as good of friends as you claim to be with them then they should listen to what you have to say. Either way they are going to get caught. Either stopping or coming clean is their best bet for happiness. It is not worth a few moments of pleasure tohave to endure the guilt and the panic everytime the phone rings or a text comes through. It is not your lace to get involved. Truthfully you have no relationship with these wives and girlfriends. Myspace and IM should not be the avenue you use to rid the world of cheating men. Again, take it from a former cheater, if we are stupid enough to do it we are plenty stupid enough to get caught. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:44:48 PM | | Why would you want to be friends with men doing exactly what you swore you would never tolerate in a man again? What is the attraction to being their friend and why would you care if you lost their friendship when you can't possibly respect them? As for telling their wives, you don't know if they are telling you the truth, you don't know if she would want to know, and you don't know what might happen after you walk away...none of your business would be my policy, unless it was a good friend (the cheated on) whom I knew would want to know. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:56:34 PM | The trouble is, what if he finds out it was you and comes round and beats you up or even kills you ?
Never ever come between a man and his wife or your could be in serious trouble !!
You seem to be very discriminating sexually.
Would you do the same for the man if his wife cheated ?
I personally would keep well out of it.............. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:55:42 PM | Ok guys... First of I'll start by thanking everyone for the advice.. others for giving me their lived experiences and the ones who told me in a very direct manner to mind my own $%^#&ing business.
I HAVE made a decision... but I'm not sure I agree that a "cheater" individual.. is indeed a BAD PERSON. So, I'm not sure wether just because they cheat on their SO, this makes them a lousy friend, father, son or daughter??
I do beleive that there are good people that make bad choices.. as well there are bad people that do good..
In my case, I think my friends make a lousy lover... however, do they make a lousy friend??
I think that if everyone cut their friendships off with ppl, because of the mistakes their friends made... then noone would have many friends.
Anyway.. since these women arent close friends, and like many of you said, I DONT have evidence of them cheating... I will let nature run its course and pretend Im in ignorance for now.
If I ever do get evidence.. like pics or something..... these ladies will be getting an anonymous envelope in the mail ;)
Thank you all.... .and 2 all a good night :) | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:04:59 PM | Agree with you Carolann. Hmm... are you going to warn your friends if you ever get proof you'll forward it to their wives/girlfriends?
Just wondering where the boundaries are... | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:16:27 PM | I already had a fight with one of them due to this... coz she was telling me HOW GREAT he was to her and hooow much in love they were... they even plan on getting married next year or something.
I let him know that if she asks for my advice or comment on the realtionship.. Im not lying for him. I'm gonna let it all out. So needless to say.. my friendship with him is now dead... the gf is still blissfully in ignorance and I have one less friend to invite to my bday next year. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:27:27 PM |
All I know is that if I were being CHEATED ON and somebody, no matter WHO , KNEW... I would like to be informed!!!
Whats the point of loving some1 who completly disrespects you?
OP, I agree with the posters telling you not to get involved in this drama. I know that if you were in their shoes you would like to know.. but.. my problem is this.. It is not your "job" in life to inform some wife or gf that her SO is cheating on her.. too much drama.. too much "fu$%edupness" this is way beyond your area of responsiblity in life.. way beyond.
I am speaking in terms of your own quality of life..
I guarantee that those women suspect something.. and I would imagine if they have told you they have told others and probably someone else has spilled the beans..
Stay out of it... for your own sake and sanity.
Now I know of scenarios where this might be appropriate.. in the case of your sister or brother.. or parent.. or best friend who you grew up with.. But friends on my space is not close enough to take on this kind of responsiblity. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:57:04 PM | Basically when people get up in each others business, its because they lack a fulfilling life of their own.
This would maybe be a little different if these women were family or close friends, but mere acquaintances are seriously not going to believe a word you say about their loved one. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:10:15 PM |
What to DO?!?!
Let the wives know and lose my friends... or shut my mouth??
You call them friends? Wait. Have you cheated on someone before? You mentioned life experiences.
Anyways. If they are truly your friends, you should confront them. Even have a group conversation with all of them there.
A cheater is a liar, a backstabber, and a royal POS in my book. If things are public knowledge, then they would have no choice but to deal with it. Find out facts first.
As far as your friend that is thinking about it, yeah, he needs a wakeup call, talk to him and get him thinking about what may happen if he does do it. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:28:42 PM |
I KNOW for sure that 2 of my male friends HAVE cheated on their significant other... and the other one is meditating on doing it (one of the married guys).
I wouldn't have any respect for these friends. (Is it possible that most men cheat? I wonder.)
Whether to tell or not is not the same answer in every case of known infidelity. You have to weigh the situation out carefully.
Even though I personally would want to be told if my partner was cheating, I did not tell, on the two occasions that I knew my friends' husbands were cheating. I asked surreptitious questions and decided that my friends would not want to know and that informing would not help their marriages or happiness. The one incident was many years ago and the other was two years ago. I don't regret my decision. Both couples are still together.
However, it was really hard on me. Such a difficult responsibility to bear! | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:46:45 PM |
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Burke
Along the same line of thought:
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men."
~Abraham Lincoln~
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
~Albert Einstein~ | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:58:34 PM | I haven't read all the posts but here is my 2 cents....
if the WOMEN are your friends then i would most likely tell them...if and only if i was close to them and truly concerned about their well being, emotionally and physically cuz god only knows what the cheating man may be bringing back to share with them from a STD standpoint.
however, if you are NOT friends with the WOMEN, then i would most likely not say anything as they 1. won't believe you, 2. will confront their man and he'll deny it saying you are a jealous woman that wants him in that way
its a tough moral dilema...end of the day you can't control any of it and should just offer up advice to the MAN to step up and actually be a man and accountabl for his actions. i would mostl likely end my friendship with the man that obviously has no morals or integrity as i deserve better than that in a friendship.
as always, just my opinion... | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:59:43 PM | Years ago I had a close friend, her boyfriend cheated on her and I found out. He begged me not to tell, that he would kill himself if I did. That he almost killed himself over his last girlfriend leaving him. I didn't tell her, but discouraged the relationship. We quit speaking. They wound up married, the girl he cheated with wound up her brides maid.
I do believe everything would have still turned out as they did if I had told her, minus the girl being one of her brides maids.
If it were me, I'd want to know but you better have proof. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:03:14 PM | I LOVE THAT YOU ARE POSTING THIS.....I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU IF YOU KNOW THIER MOTIVATION FOR CHEATING, I NEVER GOT THAT, I MEAN A G/F OR B/F IS MORE UNDERSTANDABLE BUT WHEN YOUR MARRIED THAT IS SOME SERIOUS CHAOS!! THAT IS A VERY HARD QUESTION.....DAMMMM, TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL, YOU HAVE A LOT OF POWER AHAHAHAAH.....WELL I THINK IN THE END IT'S GOOD TO TELL, BUT BEST WAY IS TO JUST SOMEHOW HAVE THEM ALL MEET AT ONE SPOT,,THE HUSBAND WIFE AND HOE....BUT YOU NEED A CO. BUDDY TO HELP YOU CUZ YOU CAN'T BE INVOLVED IN BOTH SITUATIONS...DIG...THERFORE YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO THE WIFE.......KINDA OF LIKE THE CHEATERS.....OR YOU CAN JUST ....TELL EM, AND SAVE GAS MONEY, AND PHONE TIME....  | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:20:10 PM |
(Is it possible that most men cheat? I wonder.)
No. Most men do not cheat. I'm sure a lot of men do, but all the guys I associate with including myself are faithful...in body at any rate. Our imaginations are our own. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:33:17 PM | Really, you have to decide who you are closer to, the male friends, or their wives/girlfriends. If you tell, you instantly lose the male friend. If the guy and his wife/girlfriend work things out even after you tell, you could end up losing HER as a friend, too, since he won't want her being friends with you anymore.
Myself, unless the female was a VERY good friend, or a blood relative, I wouldn't say anything. Whether or not it's any of your business, I don't think it's your PLACE nor responsibility to say anything.
Here's an example: A long time ago, my best friend heard from a credible source that my ex-wife was cheating on me. He didn't say anything. Looking back from my perspective now, if he HAD told me, it would have been his word against her's, and I would have believed her. Chances are, I could have lost him as a friend, even though he would have been trying to help me. Again, if you tell the female friends, you could end up losing both the guy AND her as friends.
No. Most men do not cheat.
Exactly right. My ex-wife cheated, and one of my last two LTRs cheated on me. But that doesn't mean I'm accurate in saying that most women cheat, even though that's been my personal experience. | |
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| SHOULD I INFORM HE'S WIFE SHE'S BEING CHEATED ON?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:14:01 PM | Speaking as the one who has been cheated on: yes, I would have liked to have been told at least to look at certain things, rather than finding out the hard way.
You've been in their position, you should have a good idea how they might feel.
Why in the world are these men telling you these things? | |
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