| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:09:12 PM | u arnt alone buddy . i think many including myself are in the very same predicament. not everyone can bowl up to a stranger and just start talking.  | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:37:16 PM | Having been single for 12 yrs now I have come back full circle. Once the marriage broke down there is the knee jerk reaction to find someone else, then I settled into full time study and bringing two girls up on my own.
The dating sites are for me a form of communication with others as I live in a small rural community. I have met some very nice people this way and learnt a couple of lessons of caution. Have fallen a little in love a couple of times but the timing and distance is a problem.
Where I am at now is that I would love to have a man in my life for mutual and monogomus nurturing.
Whilst not normally shy but reserved, I just recently took a leap of faith in myself and drove two hrs alone to sleep over at a party where I met a group of people I regularly chat to yet had never met in person. A great night was had. Friendly "normal" people that I would be happy to spend time with again.
I am a firm believer in we make our oun good fortune, by all means be wary but we all need to step out of our comfort zones at time to enhance our lives. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:40:58 PM | Yeah sure but........it would seem that the greater percentage of women refuse to make initial contact, therefore it would seem they have the luxury ( as such ) of siffting through messages.
In the process, placing guys into catagories such as eeww yuck nah, mmm maybe ( or something to that effect), so........as most guys, i too have no further inclination in attempting to reach the position of primiary list status. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:36:18 PM |
Are you one of these people who really has no intention of meeting anyone (not that you would admit to it hehe) or do you know of people like that online?
I've gone to quite a few get-togethers. I met you at one earlier this year, RacyGirl. Do you remember? Yeah I know I got there late, but it was worth the trip to Newcastle (this was organised through a different dating site). I've organised a few of these get-togethers in the past and only got a mild response (maybe I'm unapproachable). I'd like to organise something again for Sydneysiders after I come back from my trip to Europe. It'll be interesting to see how many will show up for that one. So far I've only gotten to know a few locals through this website and they can all fit in one telephone booth LOL! | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:49:06 PM | I'm of the mindset now that I'm not here to find an SO anymore.
Personally speaking I've had more luck with 'friends of friends' kind of interactions both in the real world out places and just online randomly talking to people my friends know in the off chances there's someone else I can hang out with from time to time.
And, I was half tempted to go to the last meet for Brisbane but eventually decided against it.. had a look at the people who were keen and I had the distinct impression I definately wouldn't fit in. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:56:17 PM | Rickau, the thing with looking at who is goin is that alot dont put their names down and alot of us bring single friends.
Like the Perth Fancy dress, if you look there arent many people who have put their name down but Dolly Daydreams knows of 12 who are going (friends of those who may not be on thie site) and I also have about 11 of my friends going (also not from this site) So whilst you may not see much in common with those people there may be someone there you do have more in common with. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:07:31 PM | Anyone in West Sydney interested in a POF get together????? When looking at Canadian POF those guys are all out and about meeting and having a good time. I don't do the 'crowded room of strangers' thing all that well. However, you just gotta do it sometimes to rattle your own cage and recognise you are still in the land of the living.
My circle of friends has dropped to my neighbours cat and its staff/owner. The 'staff' is same age bracket as my kids. Everyone else has died, retired, moved away or can not afford to do things, pension poverty. I consider myself lucky as I work fulltime am healthy just seem to sit at home more than I need to. | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:22:36 AM |
I think dating forums in particular are used by a lot of people who fantasize about a relationship without ever having a real intention of forming one. I mean this in the very nicest of ways. Many people have a psychological or physical disability that prevents them from functioning confidently in normal social circumstances. //people who suffer from chronic depression, who are bi-polar, deaf, blind physically infirm etc.etc. //And let's not forget those who are genuinely self conscious about their appearance, who have severe phobias, or who are extremely nervous or shy.// and they want so desperately to be, and feel, normal.
Erm...I think there are also a stack of people here who are none of the things on your list and who do feel quite "normal"...but thanks for sharing how you view the people you are interacting with here.  | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:21:47 AM |
I think dating forums in particular are used by a lot of people who fantasize about a relationship without ever having a real intention of forming one.
Yes I am proud to say I am one of those people...I fantasize but I don't want to be in any relationships ...even a cup of coffee relationship not a chance..........then why am I here on a dating site???.... just by chance...and I was to embarrassed and to scared if anyone I knew to think I was desperate...so never used a photo until I got comfortable and met people on the forums.....
My reason isn't because I am shy, or this or that ...just not in a mood or time for a relationship....I can't even be bothered to share anything with anyone...just getting myself to a point that I could be financially secure then I am off to visit the world with my child...don't need to be in the hassle, hustle and bustle, the rules or considerations that comes in a relationship...and as for the 3 letter word....I don't need it at all without love, so I am actually happy....just focusing on plans that derives from my dreams, setting those goals gives me more hope than getting to know someone that may not work and waste my time, energy and hurt my child.
So once again you are closer to truth than most are God.....not everyone here is actually really looking but wandering and wondering.
You want honesty I give you honesty | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:27:25 AM | I think deep down, yes I do. But at the moment, no, not really. I have no idea why I am here to be honest. Mainly just for the forums I think. Gotta love these forums.
I get frightened of what might happen if I met someone that I really liked and they hurt me. I seriously don't think I could cope all over again if this happened again.
But all in all, there are some really nice people on these forums. Some not so nice, but most are nice. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:26:14 PM | I'm the same, I've given up.
I just don't make a connection with a picture and words on a screen, and I'm not really comfortable meeting people in a dating/coffee scenario. And I got really deterred by some of the contact I did receive.
The only reason I haven't deleted my profile is so that I can read and post in the forums as I find them quite entertaining (read the dating experiences and the ewww thread and you'll see what I mean  ) | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:34:42 PM | ^^^^ I really liked you honesty 2 sir , I think that is how I feel sometimes too.
I have found the forums ,the events planned on here and the freinds I have made keep me going .I don't want to settle for just whoever, I want to meet my best mate etc you know all the good stuff . | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:49:16 PM | Sometimes the risk of getting hurt seems to overpower the desire to find that someone special.
I guess those are the times that we just hang out in the forums and pass the time till we are brave (or stoopid!) enough to put ourselves out there again.
there are some really nice people on these forums. Some not so nice, but most are nice Spot on......it just varies on who different people think are nice and not nice I guess. Personally I have made one of my closest friends in the world on here and also come across a lot of other people who I have huge amounts of respect for. On the other hand I have experienced some of the biggest wombles and the nastiest souls I have ever had the misfortune to come across on this site........I suppose it takes all sorts. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:02:23 PM | I came out of my comfort zone and joined an amateur Theatre Group (The Basin).
I have only ever met one person through a dating site (not this one) and that resulted in a relationship that lasted just over 8 months (heartbreaking to fall in love for the first time, with someone that turns out to be so wrong for you).
I am now comfortable with the people at the theatre. For the most part, we are all pretty similar types of people. I thought that somehow I would never fit in anywhere, because basically I felt I must be a bit strange, well so are they but all of us in a nice way (arty types).
I have given up hope of meeting anyone compatible through a dating site. I am on an extremely low income, almost as low as the pension, so it limits everything I do, including dating and even just driving around. Plus, like others I feel uncomfortable in groups of people I don't know. It does not mean I would not go to a group organised event, it's just that there seems no point to me. If you are not able to make small talk or fit into other conversations; you feel as if you are just rooming around or standing still, holding a glass and grazing on this and that, until it is all over.
I believe I have made the right and most sensible choice, as far as being in a group of any kind is concerned. And I feel I am probably more likely, at my age, to meet someone compatible, in a group that shares the same major interest/s as you/me.
So I would think that it might be a good idea to establish special interest groups, as well as organising special events.
Drew | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:28:02 PM | I dont hold any hope what so ever of meeting anyone special off a dating site. I guess it says in peoples profile about what they are after eg email, chat, long term etc.
A number of reasons make it difficult for people to 'meet' with other people. I dont mind going out on dates and have gone here there and everywhere but the guys I meet dont really take my fancy. I have only kept in touch with two off a dating site and remain friends with them.
I have been to meets for other dating sites and had a great time. I was attached at the time so perhaps there wasnt so much pressure given that fact. I went with a friend who was single for moral support.
I have a few difficulties with 'meeting' people. I live in a country town miles from anywhere. Its big enough but I havent seen a post for the 'next tamworth bike ride' as yet. I work shift work 7-7 so alot of the time Im at work or asleep. Alot of the time when Im at work normal people are out having a good time and 'meeting' one another. I dont have weekends or long weekends or recognise any day as different from the other and everyday for me is pretty much Monday. Im focussed on my career at the moment and am focussing on a career change in the near future so that is taking priority over meeting Mr Right and to be honest, meeting Mr Right wasnt a priority to start with.
I like my lifestyle at the moment and a lunch or coffee with a guy fits in just nicely but not much else really. I hope one day I will not be like this and begin a search in ernest but right now Im happy here with me.
M  | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:40:56 PM | Hey Noxious,
I have a single brother in Tamworth, shares your love for bikes is currently rebuilding his Harley after some so & so ran over the top of him. There are a lot of people in Tamworth that love bike rides ( grew up there,but don't hold that against me) so maybe you get the ball rolling and arrange the first one.
and hey keep an eye out if crime goes up there this week my girls have hit town today with there Dad, of course it will be there Dad not my sweet innocent girls. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:59:27 PM | I would be taking my life in my hands Ma trying that one out (eg a bike ride in Tamworth)...........there are tonnes of bike riders here, your right but they seem to get about in their own little clicky groups of knee draggers or harley riders..........and always head to Gingers Creek like there is nowhere else to go.
I might just take you up on your offer though........guess I should guage some interest first I be guessing......hate to end up lonely like a **stard at christmas!!
I hope your girls bought their winter woolies. Its chilly here at night!! I wont hold it against you growing up here if you dont hold it against me LIVING here. ha ha ha.
Cheers. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:23:22 AM | | I believe that some people use dating sites as a means to merely boost their ego. They go on dates and they look for any excuse they can find to reject the person they're with. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, I don't even think this applies to most people. I've had memorable experiences with most of the women I've met through dating sites (even from this one). I would say that about one in twenty of those women use the whole experience to try to boost their self esteem. | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:22:47 AM | | I,M ERE 2 MEET UP WIT ANY 1 WHO WOULD LIKE 2 GREAT SITE WOTZ DA WORSE DAT COULD HAPPEN U COULD JUZ CREATE SUM GREAT FRIENDZ... | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:49:54 AM | im coming to the realisation that putting my pic up with a profile i have written on myself is probably not the correct way for me to find someone that is like me to start a relationship with.
Ive been thinking about it, and im not the kind of person that will wander up to someone random and try to hook up with them, i want to know the person first.
I decided a while back, im not actively looking for my partner, but i will keep an eye out as i go about my life ^_^ | |
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| Do you REALLY want to meet someone?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:07:48 AM |
but thanks for sharing how you view the people you are interacting with here.
Bugger, the cats out. Psst. psst. What a load of rubbish!
not everyone here is actually really looking but wandering and wondering.
Well said as always Goddess. I think many people have similiar stories and the type of feelings you express. Perhaps just finding their feet again, trying to regain a depleted confidence or lost socialising skill amongst other things.
#36 and #38. Boy you two are brutal. Brutally honest. Gotta tell ya. It's nice.
I guess those are the times that we just hang out in the forums and pass the time till we are brave (or stoopid!) enough to put ourselves out there again.
As is this. | |
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very funny although I will say I haven't even ever clicked on one of the events & I have no idea of who attends them so I'm not going to get drawn into this but I just can't stop laughing at your last line Hilly. 
