| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:39:36 PM | I have to agree with the poster who said: if the common denominator is you, then that's the reason.
But I digress, as with women, each man has his own reasons. Maybe after chatting with you he only wants a chat buddy? Maybe getting to know you through chat he has learned he doesn't want anything more from you?
As another poster said: if it is only the attractive men who are doing this, try less attractive men and you might get what you want...... | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:59:36 PM | Dont take this the wrong way -- but
Have you considered the notion that these men do meet females out in the real world but you have not been an ideal match for any with whom you have held your online "Idle Chit Chat sessions". ~ Just a thought! | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:16:45 PM | Why do people even ASK questions like this?
If someone doesn't want to meet you, then aren't SERIOUS about YOU.
If someone doesn't want to meet you, then your aren't Mr/Ms Right.
If someone doesn't want to meet you, start talking to someone ELSE.
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:14:21 AM | Um... I'd think that the "serious" men would actually want to meet.
But I think you're asking something different.
Having someone for conversation and flirting online is relatively safe, I guess. I could see that. But aside from that, I have no idea. Lol. I'd think the "serious" men would actually want to meet a few people! | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:40:25 AM | | I idly chit chat with a lot of people. Idly chatting with someone does not mean I want to meet them. This is good because a few of them are guys and meeting them would be kind of awkward. I am pretty sure heterosexual men do not date other heterosexual men. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:37:03 AM | Hey Tawny, I ask that same question to the narrow-minded females who I tried to have something with. Serious-acting women that don't want to do nothing. But this forum is about males who don't want to meet.
You see, females make men feel as though they are always under the microscope. They feel like something is missing to make that first impression. Since men realize that females can be judgemental based on appearance only, men want to make sure they nail it down on this one time because there is no guarentee for a 2nd chance. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:58:11 AM | This is indeed a two way street. When I was using the site to date, "this" type of woman was the bane of my existence.  After running into more than my share of them, I started a "one week to meet" rule. Anyone that missed the deadline wasn't in the running anymore, unless there was an exceptionally good reason.
I see it as more an internet thing, as I've never had the same thing happen to me in real life. That's one, not a main one mind you, of the reasons I stopped using the internet for dating purposes. It's very McLuhanesque , this internet thing.  | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:14:53 AM | 'tawny' . .
You're very attractive, and I'd like to Chat .. Seriously .. sometime....but...
Your 'Filters' prevent me from even Introducing myself...
Granted .. 700+ miles/K is a difficult hurdle, initially....but not Insurmountable ..
with time and an Open, Honest conversation..!!!
I grew-up in W.N.Y. .. and our family had property just W. of Pt. Colborne
.. so I _Still_ consider myself 1/2 Canadian..!! | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:43:37 PM | I would consider myself serious, intelligent and attractive so I can phone in my two cents here.
I rarely ever message anyone on this site. That is not to say that I never do, I just have a certain level of standards that I look for. So, if someone is to message me first, and we have a few chats, that might be all there is to it. I do search the site and check out the 'viewed me' section and the like, and I have probably been over your (the girls) profile before. Nothing at the time struck me as a 'I -have- to meet this woman'; so if you message me, you have to provide me with something more unique than what was on your profile.
However, the women that I do message, I message because something about them seems to fit. A combination of the description, photos and X factor that makes me what to talk to you. If I initiate it, so long as you message me back with something semi-intelligent, I would probably want to meet you.
In my mind, whoever initiates the conversation should be the one to initiate a date.
S. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:40:11 PM | Talk for a week or so tell him lets meet at so and so you take your car he takes his car Then if its not what you are looking for you go on your way alone If it does then you tell him you want to see him again. Women make it hard on a guys to just because you can lol  | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:38:41 PM | I have the same problem ... ALL THE TIME!!! It seems that we are chatting along just fine, then when we get to the web-cam portion of the "getting to know you" ritual, they just can't go off line fast enough. I have found they often change their name or leave the site completely! I even had one guy who moved! Just because I showed them the goodies does it make me a tramp? Maybe it is because I am pre-op? I don't know ... it just seems so unfair ... Why don't they see the inner person? Why is it so focused on the physical? I guess I will never understand why men can't see it is like getting "two for the price of one!"   | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:09:19 PM | Trouble is, from a common man's perspective, very few ladies will even return a polite, short, respectful email which makes it awfully difficult to meet them!
When I'm interested, I do.
As for why so many men and women simply want to "email, chat or talk endlessly"? Probably just "players"or just lonely people looking for any port in a storm. Simply ask for a tele conversation or MEET after a couple of emails and these "players" will either "whine" about safety and/or just disappear.
Sorry, but that's just crap. Just because some people aren't in a big rush to meet and just because some of us won't be pressured into conforming to someone else's time frame does not a player make. And FYI, I doubt seriously whether true players care much about safety. And being careful to keep oneself safe from the predators or those with otherwise less than honorable intentions does not constitute "whining", IMO. Pushy men can all just stay on the bus. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:37:07 PM | For some here, this world and all in it, is just a Fantasy.
They search for Perfect Lovers who say the Perfect
Thing perfectly every time. They find Soul Mates, long lost
Other Halves who have wandered the Earth feeling
as if that piece of Self that was been cut away
at birth has suddenly reappeared.
The Planning to Meet Stage is also part of the Fantasy.
But the actual Meeting ? That crosses the line!
Meeting will “ruin” the Fantasy. Real People
have Real Flaws. Fantasy People are perfect.
Real People have Problems. Fantasy People
carry no baggage.
Some dance this dance knowing from the first
steps that they will never Meet. Others swear
“the next time” they will be brave and step away
from the keyboard, like drunks who promise to
“Work the Program” half way through a bottle.
Don't let these Psychic Vampires change your view of
other members of their gender, no matter what it might be. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:49:43 PM |
For some here, this world and all in it, is just a Fantasy. They search for Perfect Lovers who say the Perfect Thing perfectly every time.
The Planning to Meet Stage is also part of the Fantasy. But the actual Meeting ? That crosses the line! Meeting will “ruin” the Fantasy. Real People have Real Flaws. Fantasy People are perfect. Real People have Problems. Fantasy People carry no baggage.
Some dance this dance knowing from the first steps that they will never Meet. Others swear “the next time” they will be brave and step away from the keyboard, like drunks who promise to “Work the Program” half way through a bottle.
Don't let these Psychic Vampires change your view of other members of their gender, no matter what it might be.
I think this is 100% true; there are certainly these types of people online. And although I'm not one to chat or email indefinitely, I prefer not to meet unless and until I feel there is some potential there. I see no point in wasting my time or his by meeting for the sake of meeting, as I can get enough of a sense about someone online to know whether I'm interested. And if I'm not interested, I see no reason to meet. | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:44:46 AM | I have a question? are these men who contacted you? Perhaps they were thinking sex also, and you just gave them the feeling it was a losing battle to persue it.
i've had much experience with lioness's, as a matter of fact, they do most of the hunting(hint, hint) | |
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| Why don't the more serious men actually want to meet?
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:33:09 AM |
For some here, this world and all in it, is just a Fantasy. They search for Perfect Lovers who say the Perfect Thing perfectly every time. They find Soul Mates, long lost Other Halves who have wandered the Earth feeling as if that piece of Self that was been cut away at birth has suddenly reappeared.
The Planning to Meet Stage is also part of the Fantasy. But the actual Meeting ? That crosses the line! Meeting will “ruin” the Fantasy. Real People
have Real Flaws. Fantasy People are perfect. Real People have Problems. Fantasy People carry no baggage.
Some dance this dance knowing from the first steps that they will never Meet. Others swear “the next time” they will be brave and step away
from the keyboard, like drunks who promise to “Work the Program” half way through a bottle.
Don't let these Psychic Vampires change your view of other members of their gender, no matter what it might be. Way to go *esad*, I agree. I don't like to email indefinately even if there's distance involved.
That being said, you have to email/chat/phone to ascertain if you even WANT to meet this person, in person. That in and of itself doesn't really take Rocket Science or Brain Surgery or weeks upon weeks to figure out. Who wants to have a long "written" relationship before meeting if it can be helped? Not me. But neither am I saying do it on the information of 2 emails.
Usually, people who live in very close proximity will meet in less time and I say usually. But I'm like *Ally*.......I need to get enough sense of who this person is before I will meet them in the first place. It doesn't HAVE to take eons. | |
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