| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:11:11 AM | The people who fall in love with someone on the internet are probably the same people that crush on hot news anchors, obsess over anime or cartoon characters, or convince themselves that the person working five cubicles over is The One because they don't meet any other people that they can observe 9 hours a day anywhere else.
In other words, if you enjoy someone for who you THINK they are, there's a reason you're alone. It's because you don't take the time to get to know who they REALLY are. And who knows? That person five cubicles could be The One. You just gotta go find out for yourself. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:13:02 AM | I was very attracted by a profile and we chatted on line and finally by phone.Even though he was quite certain that there was no basis for a relationship. I really wanted to meet him.When it finally happened,there was zero chemistry,but my curiosity was satisfied.Now unfortunatrly there isn't even friendship-win some,lose some! | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:11:26 AM | We fall for the image we place in our minds.....
The image we see on the screen.....
Our minds start to form an image born of want or need....
And none of it is real until you meet face to face. Nothing is a sure bet until the pheromones do their neat little dance and we see if there's any chemistry there.
Chemistry...... not something you can get over the phone or emails.....
And it has been known to kill a mighty fine romance born in your mind.
Because until you meet, breathe the other person in, look into their eyes and wait for the connection, it's all a novel...... a Harlequin romance and just as shallow, in my humble opie....
Not sayin' there's anything wrong with a shallow romance....they can be quite fulfilling if that's what you're lookin' for.... or as a nice precursor to the real thing.... But there are no guarantees..... and should be realized for what it is...... Just a lead up to what could possibly be a disappointment......
Or the love of your life.
In other words, MEET. Touch. Breathe. See if it's real. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:30:28 AM | I met my fellow from PoF... we had an amazing connection right from the start. Had to keep beating back those darn hopes and expectations tho'
Both of us have previously been in situations where the amazing connection didn't stand up when you finally meet. Y'know, where you finally gaze longingly at this person who has so consumed your mind over the last couple of weeks and it occurs to you "Just WHAT was I thinking?"
In this case, the initial connection held through attraction - no matter how amazing it is, you have to bring it to real life before you can build a real relationship. | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:50:59 AM |
The people who fall in love with someone on the internet are probably the same people that crush on hot news anchors, obsess over anime or cartoon characters, or convince themselves that the person working five cubicles over is The One because they don't meet any other people that they can observe 9 hours a day anywhere else. I couldn't disagree more. I meet LOTS of women. I'm in different offices in 3 to 6 month spans, and there's a lot of eyelash batting. I've been head over heels with someone on the net before. Well... on POF anyway, and I sure don't dig the news chick, or cartoon characters. OK.. maybe Jessica Rabbit, but who doesn't love her! lol. But just like in "real" life, everything has to fall into place. Circumstances stop people from meeting long distance, just as it does locally. But like some have said here, meeting someone face to face is the only way to find out if it's going to move forward. One of my sisters gave my number to a friend of hers. She called and we chatted on the phone a few times, then on MSN (ya MSN is useful locally too. lol) We decided to meet, and ya.... I was getting excited. We met and ...... Nadda. Ziltch. Nothing. Zero. Very nice attractive woman, but .... that elusive little something.... just not present.
In other words, if you enjoy someone for who you THINK they are, there's a reason you're alone. It's because you don't take the time to get to know who they REALLY are. And who knows? That person five cubicles could be The One. You just gotta go find out for yourself. lol. I BETTER think of someone in a good light, or there just won't be a meeting. But we do this all the time in under a second when we meet people while doing our groceries. Maybe I have good instincts, but after chatting for a while, I have a pretty good bead on who they are, and what kind of person she is. Sure she can con me, but that doesn't last long, especially in person. People forget to put their masks on pretty often.
The persona people present online, is not who they really are (you know that right?). At first, it's a picture of the person they want to be. As time goes by, they start forgetting to put on their mask, and the person they are inside starts to emerge. Although this is a much more honest representation, it still hides a lot. By this time, it's more the person they wish they were, and !poof! an introvert becomes and extrovert, a sad clown becomes a happy clown, .... Viola. After getting to know them online for a while, you can discern something of the real person. But if you're just out to get sugar, you won't be paying attention and will miss it every time. And that is probable the major reason why people are alone (read a deeper meaning to the word "sugar"). They're not paying attention and get distracted by all the noise. Oh... and because of circumstance. Remember that one, because it's a biggie. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:41:33 AM |
We fall for the image we place in our minds.....
The image we see on the screen.....
Our minds start to form an image born of want or need....
And none of it is real until you meet face to face. Nothing is a sure bet until the pheromones do their neat little dance and we see if there's any chemistry there.
Chemistry...... not something you can get over the phone or emails.....
And it has been known to kill a mighty fine romance born in your mind.
Because until you meet, breathe the other person in, look into their eyes and wait for the connection, it's all a novel...... a Harlequin romance and just as shallow, in my humble opie....
Not sayin' there's anything wrong with a shallow romance....they can be quite fulfilling if that's what you're lookin' for.... or as a nice precursor to the real thing.... But there are no guarantees..... and should be realized for what it is...... Just a lead up to what could possibly be a disappointment......
Or the love of your life.
In other words, MEET. Touch. Breathe. See if it's real.
My thoughts exactly. You cannot determine who you will spend the rest of your life with over the internet, over the phone, or even through a first meeting. It's romantic and idealistic...but just that. People are in too much of a hurry to fall in love. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:09:27 AM | It's a fantasy to ponder on, but NOPE is my answer, and agree that you could fall into the idea of liking and enjoying the conversations and their keywords, but realistically, if these feelings prevail, why not take the time to find out further, in meeting up?
Either way, if you get serious or hold back, some still will play the game and drama. Wouldn't life be dull without a good friend, with a good joke, with a great smile and great meaning. Hold onto your dream and you will find that at least you may make a great lifelong friend from chatting. And in the real world if their times permits, you might find that special someone and then begin that funny little feeling again, lol. | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:31:46 AM | I can have a crush on someone I'm never met, but I'm not thinking of it as anything else but an attraction. Like a character in a movie, or a personality we've seen on TV...
it doesn't mean a thing really until you've met in person. | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:50:07 AM | | I agree that it's the IDEA of someone that could charm you. But unless you actually meet in person and spend a LOT of time getting to know someone in person, you cannot realistically have feelings for them. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:01:45 PM | What you're are proposing is a terrible idea. It takes time to know any human being. Don't be deceived by a lot of initial sweet words, because men in general aren't all that smooth or romantic. The only ones who are have had a lot of practice with women. They're the players of the world ready to smoother you with their romantic BS.
The Eagle | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:07:06 PM | Unfortunately....it can happen. It did happen to me. The promise of meeting was dangled in front of me from day one. Every time the date would come to meet...something else would come up to delay it.
This went on for longer than I'd like to admit. The thing is, we talked on the phone constantly, helped each other through some bad times...and really had a strong connection. I'll never know if everything she told me was true, I'm sure I'll never see her face to face.
When I finally gave up, and stopped talking to her, my heart was broken just the same, and the pain just as real as if I had been dating her in person.
Now I make it a point to meet within the first few conversations, or just move on.  | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:08:12 PM | | I"m with you and Cassa, DJ. I'm a diehard romantic but I don't fall for the cheesey lines nor the promises of material things. They do nothing for me. I love men and the idea of falling in love but I think as I get older I'm more guarded and put up with alot less than I use to when I was younger or even in my early 30's. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:54:02 PM | Fall for? No... hopeful/excited that she could be what I am seeking? Yes.
post 2 summed it up well - any "love" sensation is likely to be at the IDEA, as opposed to the preson itself.
Just gotta keep your head on straight, feet firmly on the ground - and save judgment for the first few meetings.
 | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:24:34 PM | Sure you can. The written word can be incrediably seductive. You would think I would know better at the age of 44, however the last man I fell for thought he was somewhat of a deity, just like Oprah. The irony, he despised Oprah.
Anytime someone likens themselves to Jesus, run far and run fast. Yes, I was a fool. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:51:25 AM |
Msg: 1 -- Will you fall for a person you have been talking online a couple times, but haven't yet met in person?
This can't happen to me. I rely HEAVILY on physical contact, so without that, there can be NO "falling in love" over a bit of online chat.
No touch, no feel, no fall. Touch is an undisputably ESSENTIAL factor for me. Without that, NOTHING worthwhile can happen. I can become infatuated with the IDEA of falling in love, and this did happen not long ago with someone I "met" here on POF. But, we never actually met, as in eye-to-eye seeing each other, and I don't count webcam as "eye-to-eye", since there is no possibility of physical contact through that medium.
I broke things off with her after we had what I considered to be a SERIOUS disagreement about something I considered essential, but she apparently was unable to see or understand my opinion. That disagreement, coupled with a formidable 900 mile distance between us, is what killed our potential relationship.
That episode made my resolve to ONLY date women in my local area rock-solid. If I can't arrange a meetNgreet within a week or two I won't waste my time with anything further. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:24:02 PM | I dont think you can actually 'fall' for someone without meeting them in person.
I do believe you can be very 'into', have feelings for and 'intrigued' by someone you have spent hours talking to .
I talk to a man in Iraq , daily, sometimes on the 'cam', weve been talking over a month now. We absolutely love spending time talking to each other and think about each other alot........ we seem to be very compatable in almost everything, we have alot in common, and he seems like a genuine , sincere soul who wants the same out of life......But , i wont let myself fall for a man whom i have never met, thats just setting yourself up for a major letdown.... | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:01:53 PM |
Msg: 13 -- I don't understand how anyone can fall for someone who they haven't met. Feelings aren't real until you have met.
I can't understand it either, but apparently it DOES happen. For me, it has always been "No Touch, No Feel", which means, basically, that if I haven't at LEAST **TOUCHED** her, there can be NO **REAL** emotional bonding between her and me. I'm just not made that way. I NEED physical contact for it all to at least SEEM real. | |
|
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:07:48 PM |
Msg: 18 -- I can form an emotional bond with someone I haven't physically met in a couple months.
Really? There have been MANY times when I have wished to have an imagination as vivid as yours. Wow, what a LIFE I COULD HAVE HAD!!!! | |
|
| |
| Will you fall for a person you haven't yet met in person?
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:02:56 AM | I once fell for a girl i had not met she was from a chat room, it was all going fine until one day when my internet went wrong and i couldnt get on for a while, but we used to chat in the rooms then it went to messenger and we chatted most days in the week then we were supposed to voice chat, this is were things went really bad as she then went funny, she decided and with out any explanation that she didnt want me chatting to her any more this i dont mind but she should have told me why cos i did not do anything wrong.
The point of this post is please if you are interested in someone meet them after 6 times of chatting i have seen this rule somewhere, and if they are not interested then move on this is what i want to do from now to save a lot of heartache | |
|
Home
login 
