| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:27:27 PM |
He nodded and said "he is going to have another father one day, i am not going there anymore to mess things up" so how about this attitude of his??
Hmm, I didn't realize the "once a month" deal was HIS idea (that kind of makes my entire post pointless - sorry about that). I can't really say WHAT this guy's deal is. He doesn't want to be a father to his child, but he doesn't want the child to be raised by another guy, either. It's true, seeing the child a couple hours a month, the child is not going to know WHO this guy is that keeps showing up to visit.
Like you said, it's over now, so it doesn't matter what the guy's deal was. But if he was giving you the full story, it sounds like he's got some serious issues. He doesn't want to step up and actually father his child, and who knows, maybe he keeps contact just as an excuse to be around his ex. Either way, he's got a major problem, and it's a good thing that you didn't continue to make it YOUR problem, too. I think you did the right thing.
The child will be 2 in August. Poor thing.
Well, it sounds like the boy likes his mother's boyfriend if he makes him laugh all the time. Maybe the mother and boyfriend will be good to it, and "daddy" will stop playing games and leave him alone. I think a father should be in the child's life (I've got full custody of mine), but this dude showing up once a month is just going to make things worse. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:07:56 PM | | lovemysmile : True, and also I feel like we sort of enjoy the pains in some selfdestructive manners otherwise we would do te same as men do, "just forget about it, can't fix it so move on!" | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:51:22 PM |
Why in the world would someone have a broken heart over a lier, & a dead beat dad???????????? In your own words you describe him as "nasty lier"
Well, that's easy...because even when someone deceives us...it is difficult to forget the good traits and the good times. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:17:21 PM | Why in the world would someone have a broken heart over a lier, & a dead beat dad???????????? In your own words you describe him as "nasty lier"
Well, that's easy...because even when someone deceives us...it is difficult to forget the good traits and the good times.
And also "why I don't have enough respect for him to tell me" And if you are "planning" on a future together and he turns to have a "dark" secret, it ruins your dreams (thats the bad thing about girls being dreamers:) | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:11:17 PM | Well, obviously the OP did not post about all his good characteristics...but I am pretty sure there were some, since she was attracted to him in the first place, and stayed with him for the amount of time she did.
Come on...even when things go to sh1t...you can usually recall the good things! It's one of the main reasons why people stay in unhealthy or unhappy relationships...until the bad start outweighing the good. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:25:21 PM | I read your first post and a few of the others.
He wants to see the kid cause it's his blood right? No, children are not a right. They are a privledge and a responsibility. One he is failing at miserably.
He couldn't have loved you. Any man that would complain about supporting his child and see the kid once a month because "it's his right" is not capable of loving anyone but himself.
He lied to you and he's a lousy father. Consider yourself lucky you got out now. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:35:13 PM | sherriaj: this is very true what you said and i was actually hoping someone would say it as I have it on my own mind but keep appologizing him for not being a good father because of "this" and "that" in his life...
Thank you!!!!! | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:26:23 PM | | yes youu did do the right thing he would of cheeted sooner or later i supported my ex and her two kids for two year 2 years and 6 months and for half that time she managed to screw around on me with another guy he new about me and everything my son was very happy too see me without her now because he was the one who told me i pay child support and my son means the world too me and if i start a serious relationship im not gonna introduce them till i now forsure im gonna br with that women forever or a very long periode of time i would of told you cause my boy is my world i love kids there fun they bring out the kid in me i can get away with acting like a goofy guy lol | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:49:29 AM | | If you are basing your connection on how well he scores in bed ............ you better get to a doctor and get your head read, the one holding the grocery list not the naughtie but nice wish list. I am having a really rough migraine over the fact that you are actually 32 years old in the flesh department and as naive as a 9 year old. You better grow up before you go taking bites out of the cookie jar again because genital slapping is nowhere near enough to sustain any life, even giggle-lows gottah pay the piper................ you really need to read your comments on here over and over again til you see just how immature and narcissitic the comments you make really are. There is only one person at the healm in steering your life successfully and it ain't Mr. Happy Penis the guy with the revolving shooter,if you guess again and tell yourself it is you ... congrats you are on your way to passing go an getting strong enough to talk your wok..... | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:00:43 AM | | Dear littlebitt1 no one screws around on anyone, fidelity is a choice. If you are honorable and know that is your choice then you know that about yourself. If you chose a partner who decides to play put all the dipsticks in town inside my stinky thong then that is HER and Hair choice not yours. For anyone who thinks that someone screws around on them get your head out of the sand in the hour glass cause it is half full and you could choke on the sand filled part. The only behaviour you own is your own and if someone screws around on you, you have just let them own YOU and you better take back you or they are still screwing with you,live your own personal power or you live scarred. Power of personal character is never something you ever give away ............ so never allow anyone to screw with you or you screw with yourself. To live in the now is to accept that you alone own your actions. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:34:04 PM |
He didn't even see that kid more than once a month. Didn't pay on him, child support was taking money from his account (hell he was angry too).
I don't mind my man having a child if I know from the beggining. Would YOU forgive him? Its all finished now anyway, 4 months ago and he is with another girl. The child will be 2 in August. Poor thing.
I still have broken heart though and still thinking if I have done the right thing..
Unreal; This guy is a mess; Before I read your post I was going to say he's dating another girl and/or cheating on you but
So the facts:
1. He had a kid and doesnt see him;
2. does not support the child emotionally and financially; in fact the government made him support him
3. He was irresponsible in the first place sleeping with someone without protection
4. He's angry because he is being made to support his own child? wow
Sounds magical. He has no character IMHO. I think you should have dumped him like a hot potato. This guy is a mess.
What bothers me is that I think he dumped you though. Is that true?
The next time you are enticed by a hot body on the beach, look away. Character means more than a 6 pack ab, and you really chose a loser. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:35:24 PM | Also; stop acting like you had this amazing love affair. What is to miss? nothing;
I don't mind my man having a child if I know from the beggining. Would YOU forgive him? Its all finished now anyway, 4 months ago and he is with another girl. The child will be 2 in August. Poor thing.
I still have broken heart though and still thinking if I have done the right thing.. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:43:31 PM | I can understand that you were disappointed in learning he was a low-life, but why the broken heart? You were still in the "getting to know each other" phase.
Not caring for his child would have erased any feelings I had for the guy. I really don't understand your pain. Not one bit. | |
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| My biggest love lied to me and it broke my heart:(
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:36:37 PM | You say:
I said "I am not going to see you anymore untill you tell me who it is, because if its your ex or you love someone else, than I am not interested anymore!"
Then you say:
I still have broken heart
If you still have a broken heart then you did not lose interest. In other words, you lied. Worse, you lied in order to force him to do what you wanted him to do (tell you something he did not have to tell you until he was ready).
Like some others have said, it sounds like you don't know the whole story and you are making a lot of assumptions about things you couldn't possibly know, such as whether he loves his son, why he sees him so seldom, etc.
You also claim that he wasn't paying child support yet you mention that child support was being taken from him (so, in other words, he WAS paying it).
I'm sorry you got your heart broken by this situation but this sounds to me more like you wanted to force him to share with you a part of his life before he was ready to.
How would you feel if some guy picked things out of your wallet or from around your home and said, "If you don't tell me what I want to know about this photo/stuffed animal/snow globe/refrigerator magnet then I won't see you anymore! And if you tell me something I don't like then I will lose interest in you!"?
It seems as though most of the people who have responded here to your "dilemma" are supporting you so I'm sure I will be drowned out. But I think you acted rashly and immaturely. | |
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