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 AUTHOR
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 101
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Moving inPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

But on the other hand, if he happened to live in one of those warmer states....well then, we could possibly do some negotiating. *wink wink*



Something like winters in Texas and summers in Canada.


...I could do winters in Texas.....Coming from Calgary, I wouldn't even have to buy me a cowboy hat.


...maeflowers
 Resident Male
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 102
Moving in
Posted: 1/2/2010 10:23:45 AM

But on the other hand, if he happened to live in one of those warmer states....well then, we could possibly do some negotiating. *wink wink*




Something like winters in Texas and summers in Canada.




...I could do winters in Texas.....Coming from Calgary, I wouldn't even have to buy me a cowboy hat.


Looks like we've got the makings of a plan. All we've got to do now is...fall in love...or fall in like...or fall in lust...or something.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 103
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Moving in
Posted: 1/2/2010 11:07:01 AM
Looks like we've got the makings of a plan. All we've got to do now is...fall in love...or fall in like...or fall in lust...or something.


...Sounds so damn easy doesn't it? Wish life were like that.... I'm still working on this whole dating thing.(lol)


...maeflowers
 Resident Male
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 104
Moving in
Posted: 1/2/2010 12:09:14 PM

Looks like we've got the makings of a plan. All we've got to do now is...fall in love...or fall in like...or fall in lust...or something.



...Sounds so damn easy doesn't it? Wish life were like that.... I'm still working on this whole dating thing.(lol)


A piece of cake. All we have to do, is do something about the 1800 mile distance thing, the dual citizenship situation, your family issues/situations, my family issues/situations, the getting to know each other bit, the toilet seat up or down issue, which side of the bed you/I like to sleep on... etc., etc and on and on into infinity.

Maybe it's a bakery instead of a piece of cake. But let's remember, love will keep us together.
 Sharperchick
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 105
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Moving in
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:07:20 PM
I've been reading all five pages (so far) of this thread and grinning...trying to figure out if it's the age of the folks posting, or the fact that most are from the US, or what...

I have to congratulate the OP - why is it assumed that there cannot be a deep and abiding love and commitment unless two people are co-mingling toothpaste spit in the sink every morning?

Twisted Sister speaks very well for me...

I had no privacy whatsoever. I couldn't even read a book or watch tv or do ANYTHING by myself. I started to feel like I was expected to be at someone else's beck and call - eat when they ate, go to the same places, do the same things, etc. etc.

I am a free spirit and am not a clock watcher. I'm spontaneous (within reason, of course). There are times when I just want to sprawl out in the middle of the bed instead of having to hang on to the edge of it. There are also times when I just want to sleep by myself (and it does not mean I don't care about the other person - I just want some breathing room). I like to come home sometimes and be able to shut the door, veg out and not have to do a darn thing I don't feel like doing. I find myself becoming resentful of someone who wants to monopolize all of my time. As much as I loved my late companion, I sometimes said to him (almost in desperation) "Please go visit your friends, or your family, or SOMEONE".

It has absolutely NOTHING to do with me loving or not loving someone else. This is about maintaining my space and my identity. I really don't care if some people think this is selfish - I think everyone is entitled to a little selfishness. This "giving all" bit is a bit over-rated and, quite frankly, is extremely tiring.


I don't have a big, fine house. I live in 1,000 mortgage free square feet. (I paid it off in April last year.) When I die, my son gets it.

And right now, if I decide the bathroom or hall closet needs to be painted at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I can do it with no one standing at the end of the hall, squinting at me, and saying, "WTH are you doing, and when are you coming to bed?"

Somehow, I have the feeling that the folks who are hollering the loudest about "needing" to share space (and people who don't are somehow "less than") are probably also the ones who get twisted if co-habiting people have separate bedrooms, which is something even the residential home construction folks have gotten savvy to in the last few years, i.e., the master suite, with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a shared den in between them.

Any Jessica Tandy fans in here? She said the only way she and Hume Crone were able to stay successfully married for 50+ years was that they had two homes....

Different strokes, folks...
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 106
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Moving in
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:29:37 PM
sharperchick - msg 114

And right now, if I decide the bathroom or hall closet needs to be painted at 2 a.m.

I also decided last night after 2 am, that my bathroom needs painting, but nobody is coming.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 107
Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 3:38:47 AM

She said the only way she and Hume Crone were able to stay successfully married for 50+ years was that they had two homes....


There is this man that I have known for the past 5 years now.

He is single and lives alone and has been in a relationship with a woman he adores for 30 years now.. I was kind of surprised since I thought they were either married or living together.. I've never had the pleasure of meeting her but perhaps someday I will. He told me he did not think anyone could live with him and he also stated that is probably the reason his relationship with her has lasted that long..

She was his riding instructor when he met her many many years ago..

He also stated that not many people would understand the love you have for your animal other than another animal lover.

I think there is a whole lot of truth to that..

thecatsmeoww
 altotermite
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 108
Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 4:59:53 AM
It is always good to have your own space. Your personal retreat from the world. If someone wants to share that ok. Personally I love my home just the way it is and could never have some live with me all the time!!!... I have become used to living alone.
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 109
Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 11:51:12 AM

What would make someone of our age group leave our homes and move in with someone else.

The need(s) of our parent(s), or a drastic change of income or serious health problem for ourselves.
I know a POF lady fishie who recently passed up what some I guess would consider the chance of a lifetime -- a well-to-do gentleman wanted her to quit her job and marry him. The problem? He seems to want what he wants when he wants it and she's not very good at being a beck and call girl.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 110
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Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 12:34:30 PM

Somehow, I have the feeling that the folks who are hollering the loudest about "needing" to share space (and people who don't are somehow "less than") are probably also the ones who get twisted if co-habiting people have separate bedrooms


Nothing to do with Hollering the Loudest, and not saying one thing about "less than" ~~ but I'd say it was YOUR sensitively and nothing that's been said. . . .

Whispering: I love waking up with the man I love next to me. I love that look on his face when I finally make it into focus: that look that says he'd rather be nowhere else, and with no one else. I love reaching, and being reached for in the night. I love falling asleep in his arms. I love making a dinner I know he'll like just when he's tired and discouraged. I like talking till it's light, then making love and falling asleep, again, in his arms. I love that when we give a brunch, *he" does the french toast and bacon. I can laugh that his new year's resolution for 30 years has been to *this* year learn touch typing.

I don't really give a rat's ass about painting a closet or hall (I actually have neither) in the middle of the night, but if he did, what's the problem? I don't mind picking up his prescriptions on the way back from the hospital, and adore that when I'm feeling totally crappy that he'll be on his way to the herb store if I just express a need.

Oh, ya, I've had relationships that would only have worked with separate living arrangements. But I'm not willing to settle any more. Jus' me.

Cheers!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 111
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Posted: 1/4/2010 1:43:22 PM
I guess I was lucky. I was married 29 years and never felt that I didn't have
my own space or that I couldn't do whatever the heck I wanted at anytime.
I've been single 10 years now and I have a roommate. I had my own
apartment for 6 years before the roommate and I can certainly relate to
coming home and not having to do nothing and taking up the whole bed,
and sleeping when I wanted and not caring whether my socks had holes in
them or my shirt was too big and messy.
On the other hand, anyone I choose to live with in a close relationship
isn't going to notice or care about those things either. I've lived with
someone and I've lived by myself and given the choice...I'd rather live
with someone in almost perfect harmony.
I think whether you choose to live alone or with someone else has everything
to do with YOUR personality and nothing else. And since your personality
is just that...it really doesn't make any difference what anyone else thinks.
Who cares how loud anyone screams about needing to share space? Is it
any different than those that scream they don't need to share?
Different strokes for different folks.
 Sharperchick
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 112
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Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 3:29:12 PM

I also decided last night after 2 am, that my bathroom needs painting, but nobody is coming.


Well dang....

That bites.
 skier3935
Joined: 10/24/2009
Msg: 113
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Moving in
Posted: 1/4/2010 9:32:28 PM
TodaysCatch msg96 said:

If you each own your own place already, nothing says "luv" more than buying a vacation home together. Now you have three places to be romantic . . .


Ooh - I like that. Great idea!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 114
Moving in
Posted: 1/5/2010 6:24:02 AM

It is always good to have your own space. Your personal retreat from the world.


Indeed some have said being invited into my place is like entering Fort Knox.. Only invited one of my dates in because I needed help changing a few pot lights..

thecatsmeoww
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 115
Moving in
Posted: 1/5/2010 9:30:23 AM
^^^ One thing I found I came to be disappointed and resentful about in marriage was that everyone in the family had their personal space... except me. The hubby had his work shed. The kids had their bedrooms. I shared a bedroom with the hubby. The kitchen and living room were common ground.
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 116
Moving in
Posted: 1/5/2010 9:52:47 AM

I've lived with someone and I've lived by myself and given the choice...I'd rather live with someone...
...and it doesn't have to be in perfect harmony. I never had or thought about having my own room or area of personal space when I was living with a man. We gave each other time and space and respected when the other person wanted or needed to be left alone with their books, thoughts, whatever.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 117
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Moving in
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:32:34 AM
"Somehow, I have the feeling that the folks who are hollering the loudest about "needing" to share space (and people who don't are somehow "less than") are probably also the ones who get twisted if co-habiting people have separate bedrooms "

There are those who have more of a need than others, and aren't comfortable with people who don't need as much as they do.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 118
Moving in
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:02:11 AM

Indeed some have said being invited into my place is like entering Fort Knox.. Only invited one of my dates in because I needed help changing a few pot lights.

Pot lights, eh? Growing your own?

messages this short...messages this short...messages this short... messages this short
arguhhhhhhhhhh
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 119
Moving in
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:12:12 AM

There are those who have more of a need than others, and aren't comfortable with people who don't need as much as they do.


Lot to be said about that.. Also some people need more excitement than others. It works best when you both have like needs and excitement levels.

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 120
Moving in
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:15:10 AM

Pot lights, eh? Growing your own?


Funny breath..

Pot lights are little recessed lights in your ceiling usually controlled by dimmer switches..

thecatsmeoww
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 121
Moving in
Posted: 1/9/2010 4:13:33 AM
There is NO piece of property that is worth more than being with the person I love. Materialistic things are just that... THINGS! I wouldn't have any problem whatsoever leaving my home to move in with the man I love. And he feels the same way about me. Where we live is secondary to us living the rest of our lives together. Are acquisitions really that important to you that they take priority over being with someone you love with all your heart and who feels the same about you? I find that sad somehow. You can replace objects, buildings, things. What you cannot replace is the love you have for each other.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 122
Moving in
Posted: 1/9/2010 4:26:11 AM

Where we live is secondary to us living the rest of our lives together. Are acquisitions really that important to you that they take priority over being with someone you love with all your heart and who feels the same about you? I find that sad somehow. You can replace objects, buildings, things. What you cannot replace is the love you have for each other.


I think when you are in love with someone you can live in a darn hut very comfortably.. Besides when you stop and think about it no one really owns property. Your home probably has been lived in by someone else before and certainly will be later on.. After all we all rent space on this planet..

thecatsmeoww
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 123
Moving in
Posted: 1/9/2010 4:36:52 AM
It sounds like the majority of these posts value their real estate more than another human being, and if that's the case, live in your home 'alone' and take your lonely lumps without complaining about it.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 124
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Posted: 1/10/2010 2:28:30 PM
OP here,
A lot of good comments. would have loved to hear more from the men. It seem half and half for the women on whether or not they would do this.
I think a lot has to do with the personal background of people. I personally think it would take a lot of courage to put your trust into someone else.
What would make you truly trust another person to stick with you when you are at a age close to retirement, when there is a chance to lose the lifestyle you fought years to achive.
Because like it or not, some of use don't have others to fall back on. At age 50, you can't go "live at home for awhile" when it all goes wrong.
I just have me. And yes, it maybe "just stuff", but it's my "stuff" I worked hard for.

And single women with teen kids, I would find that would be really hard for you to uproot your family to be with another man. Maybe, when they are grown and out the house, but not before.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 125
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Moving in
Posted: 1/10/2010 3:53:17 PM
"It sounds like the majority of these posts value their real estate more than another human being, and if that's the case, live in your home 'alone' and take your lonely lumps without complaining about it."

Not the point at all. My house is far more to me that bricks and mortar. It is my territory. Any mate I would have at this age of life would value his territory or his is the wrong partner forme.

No complaining here. I love it just the way it is. I have done the happy marriage and being totally in love till death do we part. Now it is time for a different lifestyle. I don't need to prove I am loveable. That has already been establisted and enjoyed. Now I travel without having to conside another. It is all good.
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