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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:27:13 PM | Klopper, your head is probably full of SH*T as I'm not sure how being a parent is living the "hussy" life -- btw, there aren't even 12 guys in my past so perhaps you can move on to another forum post and put your lousy $0.02 there.  Are you upset that I don't need a man in my life to be happy and successful? | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:18:52 PM | I did not set out to be a single parent.
With my oldest son, 26, I was married, and in an abusive situation. With my youngest son, 14, again, I was in a long term relationship and things did not work out. They are the light of my life. I wouldn't change a thing, even the bad marriage, it made me who I am today, and stronger for it.
You are not a hussy, I can tell, neither am I. It has been almost two years since I had a relationship, and no casual sex between. Why do people assume that because one is a single parent, they are easy? | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:19:01 PM | Ok, I just have to ask.
A woman who brings a child into this world, on her own, knowing she can raise that child and be happy and do it on her own.... how does that make her a 'hussy'?
I, for one, admire her for doing what she did. As long as she is happy, and her child is loved, what difference does it make?
honestly.... I truly think some people on these forums have shit for brains. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:58:55 PM | Northern Lights I agree with you. I also think the older women who choose to become single parents usually are more financially stable and will make great moms. Calling a woman who can support children on her own a hussy makes no sense. I will be doing the same shortly because of my age I can't wait too much longer. And at my age dating is impossible and no one wants kids so why not have kids on your own. Personally I don't care to be in a relationship I just want to be a mom. That's it that's all. | |
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jujud
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Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:30:41 PM | I was in a relationship at the time I got pregnant - I was 42 . I assumed I would never have children,had begun to think about adoption. My daughter was born in 1999 ; Life has been grand ever since!! It is not always easy, but being in a relationship isn't always easy. The relationship ended when my daughter was 6 months old- her birth father did't have the physical or emotional ablities to deal with the circumstances.
Fast Forward- The birth father wants to now have some relationship with my daughter .
They have met - it is comfortable - we live in different states so it is minimal contact - But we have no drama- just Love all around us . I am happy
Now maybe I will meet some one special who will want this Mother -daughter team in his Life .
Being a parent , however it happens is worth everything. I once read something about parents "We are the bow and our children are the arrows- we shoot them so they soar in life." It is true it all goes to fast PEACE | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:38:38 PM | | Children need fathers. It is important for them to have a postive role model on both sides of the bridge. It breaks my heart the way my little one chases after men... As far as money goes, my son is well provided for thanks to the hard-working tax payers of this country. I'm in college, setting a good example, etc... Boys still need a daddy, but I"m in no rush to get one. I knew that if I got pregnant by his dad that I would end up a single parent, so I guess I intended on being one. HMMM..... | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:47:16 PM | Girls, girls, I'm not the one trying to be your enemy here ok
The 12 guys was just a number thrown out there since all everything that you've tried to do has resulted in zilch therefore you didn't give a shyt that the father didn't know about your and I Quote " No, the father was not aware that I was planning to get pregnant".
So many women on here complain about men treating them like shyt after they've given them sex, and yet here we have several women who are complete examples of why those men don't care about them.
So many women complain about men who have cheated on them and yet here we have the women who were motel ready and decided to knock themselves up either for entrapment or just so they could have a kid......yet we all know they'll continue their same sex routines still.
Like so many other members have stated, a child needs both a good mom and dad BUT ....Congratulations, you should be proud of yourselves for adding to the pile of 'hussies' so these experienced men and the other apprentices can keep the routine going on for women like yourselves and the young innocent ones who really are looking for a good man but have no idea of what bad precedents you have established in hindsight, thus the man has no worries about having to see the child or paying for them.
So......no, it has nothing to do with me and I could really care less about some of you except for that fact that my hard earned tax dollars need to go towards a mom who really tried to make it work with the dad but he didn't want to because of hussies. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:53:06 PM | | I don't really understand the above post by klopper. I personally think that there is a few "men" that are a bit messed up because of their parents...not women. As an adult, I only have control over myself and my decisions. My actions have not messed up men for other "young innocent" women. Every person makes their own decisions. Some parents are single because they were left by their partners and some parents are single because they chose to be. I personally love my decision because I'm raising my son without all the drama that happens in other families. Not all two parent families do a good job and not all single parent families do a good job. And about your tax dollars, PLEASE. Your tax dollars go towards income assistance, public schools and non-profit child care facilities. So, yes, you are helping that mother who's partner has left her, as well as the drug addicted parents who abuse their children, as well as the mom who chose to be single and leave all the drama out of her child's life. I can't speak for everyone but I'm raising my son better than my "parent's" raised me. Maybe one day he'll grow up to be a responsible, respectful man who is a good catch. Just my hopes for his future. Please don't generalize all women. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:13:48 AM | I think what Klopper is trying to say is that she used a man to get a child for her own selfish needs. That she didn't consider the man or even the child - just her own feelings.
From what I can tell there may have been a misunderstanding. From what I gather from some of the posts, people think she went to a sperm bank or something. I kinda gather the same thing from her posts that Klopper did. (Although I wouldn't go so far as calling her a hussy or anything.) If I am correct in my thinking, then I'm confused as to why everyone is congratulating her and telling her how much they admire her. ??? | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:21:41 PM | | i choose to be a single parent because the environment we were in was a very unhealthy one but all the more power to you for believing in yourself and being strong enough to make that decision. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:45:32 PM | | We are all parents here, and we all became parents one way or another. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how you became a parent, or what your reasoning was. If you love, value and respect yourself and your children, that's all that matters in my book. Some of us chose to be single and some of us became single after a relationship ended. We all know how to get pregnant (having sex, protected or not), and if a grown person wants to walk away from a pregnancy/baby, that is their choice. I chose to have sex without a condom, I chose to have a baby, and I chose to tell the other person and they chose to not be involved. I didn't want him involved and he didn't want to be involved. It all worked out in the end. Remember to say that a woman "used a man", seems to let the man off the hook. He could've said no to sex without a condom. People have to start owning up to their own actions. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:24:07 PM | | I guess I don't understand wanting to have a child with a man that you know you don't want in your life. Hell, I don't understand why one would have sex with a person that they felt that way about in the first place. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:59:06 PM | Quote "I think what Klopper is trying to say is that she used a man to get a child for her own selfish needs. That she didn't consider the man or even the child - just her own feelings."
Thank you rawrrrr.....that's what I was trying to say (sorry, I overexplained thus confused you all)
No, I'm not modern in relationships and always honest and straightforward. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:15:38 AM | Kelowna gal....
You used the man to get pregnant knowing he wouldn't stay with you just like Midnight Crossing did so don't blame it on a man's parents but on you're own failure to grow up. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:20:46 AM | | I can't agree with you because I don't understand how a woman could use a man to get a child for her own selfish needs. The man would've consented to sex and therefore was taking the chance of pregnancy (among other things). Who cares what the purpose was? We all do things in order to make our lives better. If men don't want to risk pregnancy, wear a condom or don't have sex at all. It takes two to tango and no matter what the outcome, everyone takes chances with their decisions. If you tell the other person about the pregnancy and they don't want anything to do with it...you're probably better off than trying to convince someone that they need to be around when they don't want to be. I don't understand why people would care so much about something that doesn't directly affect them...we all have our own lives to worry about!! | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:01:17 AM | It's ok Kelowna,
I'm just really sorry to see that an early childhood educator reflects "I didn't want him involved and he didn't want to be involved. It all worked out in the end." Who cares what the purpose was for?" | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:28:23 AM | I didn't choose to get pregnant (yes was on birth control) but i did choose to be a single parent. My daughter's father chose to have nothing to do with us and i chose to keep the baby.
And i do not regret a single moment since.... she is my 
Sometimes fate throws a curve ball in our direction and it's up to the individual how it is handled.
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:10:18 AM | | I'm not asking for people to pat me on the back. I don't really care about what people think regarding the decisions I have made. As for my profession...I work with all sorts of families. I can't say that one family is better than another. What I can say is that I'm proud of my decision and I think I'm better off raising my son alone than raising him with another person who doesn't want to be there. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:01:43 AM | kelowna,
I agree with you that the man has responsibility when it comes to sex as well. I won't ever say otherwise, EXCEPT in cases like this. From what I understand, both you and the OP wanted a child so badly that it didn't matter what moron blew their load in you. Anyone can go find some stupid fecker and seduce them. Men are pretty easy that way unless you throw in the "I want a baby" part. lol
Women can use men in several ways to get said child. Claim she's on bc, claim she can't have babies, he (they) could be drunk, no one could have said a word, she jumps on top, he's assuming things are taken care of and next thing he knows she's knocking on the door saying she's pregnant. OR just not telling him at all which some women do.
I don't have a problem with women wanting to have a child alone as long as they use a sperm bank or get the consent of the man they are using to father the child, and he agrees to not be apart of the mother and child's lives. Wanting a child that badly (I KNOW what that feels like and it's the most overpowering feeling in the world as far as I'm concerned) but not informing your partner of what your intentions are is trickery. This is totally different than an 'oops' pregnancy. You knew what you were doing, and you had no regard for his feelings on being a father. Perhaps he would have kept his junk in his pants if he knew you were using him as a sperm bank. (My 'you' references are somewhat general in this because I don't know, nor is it my business, what your individual situation was.)
As far as this thread goes, it's not about the male's responsibility. Not this time. This time it's about women basically tricking men into knocking them up.
And it's not about us caring so much as it is about this being a message board, the OP asking a question, and we all answered. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:33:26 PM | Sup, PD!!!
Actually, she had sex with a man and got pregnant. From what I gather, she just didn't inform the man that, that was her plan. I'm not 100% sure on that part though. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:19:38 PM | | I understand your opinion rawrrrr. I'm sure that the opinion you hold is the opinion most people would hold regarding this issue. And I understand that the OP asked for peoples thoughts, however I was under the assumption that she was asking for peoples thoughts who also chose to be single parents. The headline is "Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?". That's why I was a bit annoyed with everyone else throwing in their two cents. But it is a public forum and people will post just about everywhere. I respect your point of view and it's discussions like these that make people think. Thanks for your voice. | |
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