| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:28:23 AM | I didn't choose to get pregnant (yes was on birth control) but i did choose to be a single parent. My daughter's father chose to have nothing to do with us and i chose to keep the baby.
And i do not regret a single moment since.... she is my 
Sometimes fate throws a curve ball in our direction and it's up to the individual how it is handled.
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:10:18 AM | | I'm not asking for people to pat me on the back. I don't really care about what people think regarding the decisions I have made. As for my profession...I work with all sorts of families. I can't say that one family is better than another. What I can say is that I'm proud of my decision and I think I'm better off raising my son alone than raising him with another person who doesn't want to be there. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:01:43 AM | kelowna,
I agree with you that the man has responsibility when it comes to sex as well. I won't ever say otherwise, EXCEPT in cases like this. From what I understand, both you and the OP wanted a child so badly that it didn't matter what moron blew their load in you. Anyone can go find some stupid fecker and seduce them. Men are pretty easy that way unless you throw in the "I want a baby" part. lol
Women can use men in several ways to get said child. Claim she's on bc, claim she can't have babies, he (they) could be drunk, no one could have said a word, she jumps on top, he's assuming things are taken care of and next thing he knows she's knocking on the door saying she's pregnant. OR just not telling him at all which some women do.
I don't have a problem with women wanting to have a child alone as long as they use a sperm bank or get the consent of the man they are using to father the child, and he agrees to not be apart of the mother and child's lives. Wanting a child that badly (I KNOW what that feels like and it's the most overpowering feeling in the world as far as I'm concerned) but not informing your partner of what your intentions are is trickery. This is totally different than an 'oops' pregnancy. You knew what you were doing, and you had no regard for his feelings on being a father. Perhaps he would have kept his junk in his pants if he knew you were using him as a sperm bank. (My 'you' references are somewhat general in this because I don't know, nor is it my business, what your individual situation was.)
As far as this thread goes, it's not about the male's responsibility. Not this time. This time it's about women basically tricking men into knocking them up.
And it's not about us caring so much as it is about this being a message board, the OP asking a question, and we all answered. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:33:26 PM | Sup, PD!!!
Actually, she had sex with a man and got pregnant. From what I gather, she just didn't inform the man that, that was her plan. I'm not 100% sure on that part though. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:19:38 PM | | I understand your opinion rawrrrr. I'm sure that the opinion you hold is the opinion most people would hold regarding this issue. And I understand that the OP asked for peoples thoughts, however I was under the assumption that she was asking for peoples thoughts who also chose to be single parents. The headline is "Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?". That's why I was a bit annoyed with everyone else throwing in their two cents. But it is a public forum and people will post just about everywhere. I respect your point of view and it's discussions like these that make people think. Thanks for your voice. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:14:52 PM | I made a choice to be a single parent and I have no regrets what-so-ever...I too was never married, so definitely not divorced/separated, I never lived with my child's father, we actually only dated for a very short period of time (but knew each other for a long time). He is a part of our child's life and pays everything he should without prompting....we have managed to be friends to each other and parents to our child.
I haven't dated for quite a few years and I'd like to keep the prospect of a potential long term relationship out of the way until my child is old enough to understand me dating or has grown up and moved on to his own life. I guess I shouldn't say that I have no regrets because my choice not to date anyone seriously is largely due to my guilt that he DOES have to grow up without 2 parents in the home (and without judgement to anyone anywhere, I really think that it does make a difference). I simply don't want to complicate things for my child by introducing men into his life that might not always be there. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/10/2008 11:20:05 AM | ^^^
What I got from the OP is she knowingly planned to get pregnant so she had sex with a man for that sole purpose. Basically he was a free sperm bank. She knew he wouldn't be in their lives (or at least not very often) and that's the way she wanted it.
But, yes, having a relationship or a casual fling that results in pregnancy is not necessarily "choosing" to become a single parent in the sense that the OP is talking about. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:25:23 AM | | i think i love you. lol. thats the same way i feel. i love my kids, but my kids momma..... was a producing machine. i didn't want her. i wanted my own offspring | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:52:40 AM | Like the above poster. Don't want a relationship at my age, too old to start the traditional way. Just want my own offspring no man involved. Children are more important than a relationship.  | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:29:26 AM | Right, because there aren't enough kids in this world that are missing a parent.  For those of you that want kids so bad, but no partner, why don't you shell out the money for a surrogate or a sperm bank instead of USING other people for your own SELFISH needs? | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:12:16 AM | | i choose to be a single parent why? i found out my daughters father was doing alsorts. he helped my so far thro my pregancy when he felt like it, then once she arrived wasnt interested reason why is because i found out he was then expecting twins which are 6 months younger than my daughter, so he never bothered any more his choice. Was i bitter ? to start with yes am i now ? no because he has made no impact in her life she doesnt even know the word daddy. She has every thing she needs and with the help of other family i personally think i have done a good job so far. I raise her with no child support plus i work full time along with having postnatal depression too. It is hard to get a date are men frighten that we want a father figure i know i dont. And i hold my hands to every 1 that has raised their child single handed like our selves | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:21:14 AM | | I saw this topic in the forum list and decided that I HAD to post something. I am someone who chose to be a single parent by adopting. I constantly have to explain why I am a single parent, and that is a pain. However, my son is worth every bit of explanation. He is the light of my life and I would rather be single for the rest of my life than ever give him up. I wouldn't trade him for the perfect man for all the money or love in the world. So choose to be a single parent? Why yes! Yes I did! | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:52:28 AM | | Yes I'm sure some parents do split amicably. But In my case and my age men already have children and don't want any more. Why should I deny myself the chance at motherhood?? There's more women out there in my situation, were a small minority but we do exist. The choice is ours, not what society dictates. Easy for others to judge but each person has a unique set of circumstances. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 11:14:56 AM | | I don't really have an issue with those who decide to use a surrogate, sperm bank, or adopt. It's not choices *I* would make as a single parent, but I can respect that a lot more than tricking someone into helping you make a baby. Yeah, yeah, I get that it takes two people and it's both of their responsibilities, but lets face it- this was a preconceived plan on the part of ONE of the participants. That is the issue. | |
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| Anyone else here choose to be a single parent?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:03:35 PM | | no i did not chooses to be a single parent, but i am, with 2 girls, that was the very last thing i wanted for them...not too be like me............because it hurt to be me. nevertheless this is where i am.........where we are................and i will teach them individualty, confidence, peace, acceptance and forgiveness..........................perhaps this is where we all are......................at the end of the day it gets dark, can your light shine longer? | |
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