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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Do men like it when women contact them first?      Home login  
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 sparks!
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 551
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Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 23 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
David Deangelo’s view on women’s preferences for bad boys is a straying off the topic a little further, maybe you should start that forum topic, the remark about my personal response ratio is to let women who are feeling rejected after building up the courage to write first only to have no reply, or worse a negative one and that they are not alone, Getting back on the subject again as the other guy said I quite like it when a woman writes to me first.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 552
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:06:26 PM

And, here, I thought the topic was about whether men like it, when women contact them first. Apparently, the topic has changed to whining about women not responding to first contact emails? Shouldn't there be some comment about women just wanting bad boys, and ignoring nice guys, to go along with that D2D whine?


And who is whining about other people whining?

My third grade teacher, Mrs. Rumble, used to say, "Always remember, when you point a finger at someone, remember you've got three curled back pointing at yourself."

For some reason her wisdom always stuck with me.

just a thought
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 553
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:32:39 PM
....In many ways I can't really blame the guys for wanting a woman to initiate first contact after reading "when you see a woman you like, what do you do." Theres no doubt its difficult to come out of your comfort zone and approach someone of the opposite sex....male or female....you leave yourself open to rejection regardless.


...maeflowers
 ~Sunrise_Walker~
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 554
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:36:35 AM
I think the trait is inherent in men to want to approach a woman first, whether in real life or online. If a man feels that it takes him out of his comfort zone, then I must say, what has happened in his life to make that so?

I would say he needs to get over it and move on. I would say he needs to gain back his self confidence and take the role of being a man a bit more seriously. There's just something unnatural to me about a man who waits for a woman to make the first move all of the time. Occasionally, maybe, online. But there are men who seem to believe that since they were rejected before, thay've given up the original role and turned that over to women, period. Again one must wonder just how far that role reversal goes?

I see that as a defeatist attitude. Not very manly in my opinion. Again, that's just me. Some women may find that attractive in a man.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 555
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:53:39 AM
AH Mocha if life were that simple..
you do this and you will be branded pushy, aggressive, controlling and all the catchwords women attach to a male who essentially is assertive.
Sorry ...Most women do not appreciate an aggressive male..maybe in your world but not the real society. Ofcourse then again I am around professional women mostly and I assure you they do not admire or even want to associate with aggressive men.
Once again I believe some of the opinions here are influenced by geographical location, small town or big city, professional working environment, North and south, as well as east/west coast.. there is no perfect answer except the correct one for you personally.
Dusty.
 sassie2759
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 556
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 8:38:20 AM
I have contacted several men in the past week or so and they havn't even responsed back and they have read the message. Men say they like the women to contact them first but, then don't even respond back so I think that is a two way street.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 557
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:38:50 AM
msg603,

I'm 50/50 with who messeged first..
but at the same time..you either get viewed and no response back or you get a you're too old, too fat, too far, too tall, too something! ..maybe there should be canned "no thankyou" messeges so atleast you'd get an acknowledgement for your effort..be it male or female..
dusty
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 558
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:10 AM
A different site has a wink you can send if the person isnt interest they can just hit a "No thanks" response and you get exactly that a "canned" no thank you.

I found when I used that feature I would get an email (angry) asking why...I also found if I winked back most of the time they would never follow up with anything...so it was easier to wink back than to say no thanks...They had winked simply for attention.

I think alot of times people are just out and out bored and have no desire to actually want to get to know someone for a relationship..they just are lonely and want some attention...(needy). Those individuals make it hard for people who are seriously trying to find someone to do so cause you have to go thru all those hoops with them, which can be tiring before you can even start looking on your own. Yes I realize I can do the read/delete or just the delete but I do feel if someone takes the time and effort to write to me the least I can do is respond...unless they are offensive in their orginial message. At times I get behind and I just hate sending out the no thanks.

Lately I have noticed that even when I respond with no thanks in a few weeks it is the same person with basically the same spill again and I realize they have sent so many messages to everyone hoping that one person would respond that they dont even know who all they messaged....GUYS THAT WORKS AGAINST ALL OF YOU and is the reason alot of women do the read/deleted or just out and out delete.
 sassie2759
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 559
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:14 AM

I think we all fall into this, but not all men are the same, and we haven't elected an "official spokesman". So if guy A says " I like it, when women write first, and I always respond", and then guy B doesn't answer, it doesn't mean that guy A was lying or wrong.

True not all men are the same. and neither are women. Some men in the past have responded back and said thank you for the comment. You just have to pick and choose who you like I guess.
 mamadogsdaddy
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 560
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:34:19 PM
Hmmm I was going to send a direct email just to say , that In MHO as a man I would have been thrilled to recieve a first message from a gal with a great profile.....of course due to the great distance involved a relationship would not have much of a chance but then I noticed what I seem to be reading in other threads that perhaps just perhaps part of the difficulty is the settings encountered ...

Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Dating
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner

Ok not trying to be a smart ass here...but I am looking for dating....must not be looking for Other Relationship ....what the heck is that anyway....some one looking for a lost cousin or something ? The Activity Partner Or Hang out ...ok I buy that one...you want someone or something to have activities with or just hang out ..buy a Dog .....of course I expect a Intimate Encounter at some point in the relationship...I think that one was pretty much covered in the looking for intimate encounters or sex thingy ......sure I too much perfer a photo......but some mind you some are either just not computor handy or live in such a small town they are nervous about being seen on a dating site , ie a local teacher....point is...after recieving and making contact these others can quickly be discussed by just asking "what are you seeking ?" Anyway....I promised to attempt contact by taking the chance three times a week...that was I am not disappointed every single day..
 TheDirtyBen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 561
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:47:56 PM
An excerpt from my profile:
"BTW, If you have more mail settings than I do? You probably should quit clenching your buttcheecks so tightly, loosen up a bit, and have some fun! This is LIFE and you only get one chance at it. So, live it up and try to enjoy it!"

I'm sure this will get some people hot under the collar. I've seen the arguments on here b4.
But, I've seen LTR profiles where the person listed that they were looking for Intimate Encounter, but then checked the Intimate Encounter restriction! LMFAO!!
And, the 76th mile restriction REALLY chaps my hide!!
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 562
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:28:39 PM
At this point a contact from extraterrestrials would be a welcome change,lol!
 Mi Cha El
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 563
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:48:33 PM
I like it when women approach me first. Makes me feel like I still got it. Actually, I still do, but it sags now.
 Resident Male
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 564
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:51:50 PM

I like it when women approach me first. Makes me feel like I still got it. Actually, I still do, but it sags now.

They have pills for that.
 TheDirtyBen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 565
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:08:07 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Plus pumps, rings, etc!

 southernredhead
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 566
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:08:41 AM
What really is a pet peeve of mine, is when you write to someone with an interest, and they can't write back with a simple no I am not interested. Whatever happened to being chiveralis and classey? I mean if your on a dating site hopeing to find someone for whatever purposes, you surley will miss someone nice if you don't respond.

Then there are the no shows when you set up a time to meet. Whats up with that? I mean I could of been doing something else. Or you go out once with someone and then they never talk to you again. Again can't you just say you had a nice time but we aren`t on the same page? I mean say something. Don't do me like a mushroom and keep me in the dark and feed me BS.
 ~pasky~
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 567
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:21:39 AM
Gosh fantasyartist ^ I am thinking if an ET were trying to contact you they would be farther away then 75 miles. Geesh!!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 568
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:11:09 PM
"A different site has a wink". I've been on a site like that, and I refuse to respond to winks or other icons. Hey, I take the time to write a message to someone who has caught my interest. I expect that much as well. Just seems cheap to me, I guess.
 jcp21454
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 569
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:32:02 AM
I welcome e-mails from potential dates, friends or whatever. Otherwise, you may miss connecting here with the perfect Fish. Being old fashioned to some degree is okay. First make the connection and go from there. Jim
 fritzle
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 570
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:11:05 AM
I am guilty of being shy about making the first contact. A bit old fashioned in that area. I guess it is important to me to know that they really want to talk to me. Sometimes if I have seen that they have looked at my profile but not written I will drop them a line but then I wonder why they didn't write themselves. Yikes, it's a tangled web we weave! LOL!
 oceanfront220
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 571
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 7:16:23 AM
That is so true. Its a shame, because eventually, enough time goes past and he's interested in someone else, or she is and its a case of "woulda. shoulda. coulda". I guess I'm a bit old-fashioned too, although no one who knows me would ever call me that, and I sure wouldn't normally, but I rarely have made the first contact, and its definately time for that to change.. A little scary but think of the possibilities!!! Good luck to all of you--A
 nefarious101
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 572
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:49:06 AM
Life to short to sit and wait for someone you might have interest in to contact ya girls. Get out there and make contact...most guys wouldn't mind. What kind of guy would he be anyway if he did?

I'm Nefarious101 and I approve of this message. <--A cheap attempt to drive up my poll numbers
 Passionate Gent
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 573
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 12:57:21 PM
This is simply a social/cultural stigma in the U.S. There are various countries where women approach men all the time. Some of the women in Germany can be down right rude when approaching men

 breathe33
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 574
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:41:17 PM
Mmmm, men may like it , but from experience i've found
that if Imake the first move, I never really know it if he was realy interested or showing a little interest out of curtesy.
Suppose everyone is different.....
 CynthiaM
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 575
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:39:27 AM

"A different site has a wink". I've been on a site like that, and I refuse to respond to winks or other icons. Hey, I take the time to write a message to someone who has caught my interest. I expect that much as well.

Agree. Whenever I received a wink I responded with the same level of effort - I hit the automated 'no thanks' button.

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. " ~Thoreau
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