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 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 651
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Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 27 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Well, not having all 650+ replies you’ve received, I can only imagine that you’ve gotten a resounding YES to it being outdated and YES to men liking women to make the first contact!!!!

Don’t forget, we no longer live in a society with yesterday’s standards since, today’s standards are rather different.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 652
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 10:44:09 PM
My experience is that while men say 'yes' go ahead and do it. Its mostly for ego boosting. The chances they would actually reciprocate feelings for the women that *would* contact them are pretty much slim to none. Notice emphasis on women that would vs. women they WISH would make first contact with them. More women making first contact will not mean Maxim models will start emailing you. Not going to happen.

Here is an article about the miserable failure of a famous PUA trying to set up a workshop for women on how to pick men: http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-03-03/news/girl-game/1

Case in point. In theory... cool. In reality, not so much.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 653
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 11:36:32 PM
^^^^i guess i've been pretty lucky as many of the women who've contacted me i'd rank at 8 or better and my physical standards are pretty finicky. some actually are close to that Maxim model level you talk about. no such thing as a woman being out of anyone's league. i think we all know better than that by now. you display confidence, you can get any woman (or man) you want.

i peeped some pages of that article. being that it was a bar setting and the types of women being coached pick homeless men and don't realize it till way later, i ain't surprised at all at the results. some people are their own worst enemy. the problem is just admitting to what and who you are. you can't say you want a long term relationship but you're at the bar or club on weekends having one night stands or picking people who'll only stick around for sex. if you want a certain thing in a relationship, you gotta bring it to the table. that's how i look at it. those women are complete idiots. every metro area of that size is gonna have available singles. but if they have that negative attitude towards men and dating, blame everyone else for their woes, and keep picking losers on the bottom of the loser scale, guess what that makes those women? just as big of a loser as the guys they pick. goes both ways too. it ain't just a woman issue.

a woman contacting me doesn't feed my ego one bit. things thus far haven't worked out long term (some have as friendship) but at least they contacted me and i contacted back to see if there was anything at all there rather than read,unread/deleted. i do give it a chance if SOMETHING is there. if clearly there's nothing, i gently let things slide off in the email. interesting article though. can't expect much in a bar. i don't see how they don't understand that or didn't see that red flag. pua's ain't there to pick your life partner. they introduce good technique's, sure, but c'mon, the setting has failure written all over it. they ain't necessary to pick someone up at a bar.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 654
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 11:46:38 PM
^^^ Ok but you're still here online... not off the site happily married and out making babies. So, your post only proves my point. Guys get an ego boost and think BBD (they can always get a bigger, better deal). For example, your asinine and childish female rating system shows you objectify women, haven't really caught on to the treat others as human beings thing. Like, "Wait, if I got an 8... maybe if I hold out a little longer a 10 will come by..." Women are collectors items to you, not potential equal partners.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 655
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 12:07:06 AM
^^^^you're here online too. i know why i'm here. never once denied it, never will. you sound bitter; taking some bad experiences you've had with SOME men and applying it to ALL men. that's the negative quotient i was mentioning. why not LEARN from those experiences and pick better men? no two men, or humans, are the same. you might be missing out on something good with someone if you're not giving them a chance cuz someone in the past may have jaded you.

that's what i'm getting out of dating. slowly but surely learning what i want that's gonna make me happy with someone over the long term. and if you don't have a rating system, that just tells me you haven't learned what it is you really and truly want. you don't have realistic standards set in place yet. i could be wrong about you cuz i don't know you but EVERYONE i know, in a relationship or not, has a rating system.

everyone objectifies everything. there's nothing on this earth that isn't exploited. even you can admit that. those people who fall into that 'grass is greener' category you mention will be single forever and guess what? that's just how they like it. if they didn't, they wouldn't keep doing it and wouldn't maintain that attitude. just so you know, i don't share that mentality. you're pretty quick to judge. whoever hurt you, here's some tough love: get over it. as long as any of us are single and dating, we're gonna have bad experiences till we find that one person who's gonna give us a lifetime of good ones. we've all been hurt. what sets us apart is how we cope. women are indeed collectors items to many men on here who just wanna fvck. you know this as well as me. so it shouldn't be a secret or a surprise if they come around. many women are on here for the exact same reasons as men. that's why both sides exist on this site and others. they feed the need for those people who want it. i don't. doesn't sound like you do either. a little more dating experience and i'll bet you'll start seeing things in a positive, realistic light.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 656
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:42:26 PM
Tuffluv..maxim models ?..why do women always assume such nonsense...however if maxim model means not fat then there are alot of women on this site who can rejoice in the fact they are in that league.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 657
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:58:50 PM
I did a little experiment... asked 50 guys how they feel about women who approach them... only 2 favorable responses... one guy outright said it was unattractive. I think its only the guys on POF who are in favor of this.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 658
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:21:19 PM
There is a difference in making the first move online vs real life. In real life, you have visual cues that let you know when a woman wants you to approach. You don't get any of that online. This is why guys on PoF like it when women make first contact. For the record, I'm in the camp that feels both sides should make first contact whether it be email or adding to the favorites list.


i guess i've been pretty lucky as many of the women who've contacted me i'd rank at 8 or better and my physical standards are pretty finicky

Pics or it didn't happen.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 659
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:29:00 PM
Pics or it didn't happen.


lol. i ain't here to put nobody on blast by throwing out their username. you'll just have to take my word for it. and i'm a man of my word. just goes to show that looks ain't everything cuz here i am, still on pof with an active, unhidden profile.

tuff,
being that we don't know how or where you gathered that sample of 50 men, it don't count for much. i can go ask 50 guys i know and they'll all say they got no issue with women approaching IRL or contacting them online. 50 random guys, probably a diff story cuz they'll either answer truthfully or in a way that shines the best light on them in a traditional masculine role. not to mention who's asking them affects their answer too. you're a chick. are you surprised by your results? i'm not.
 Exquisite Woman
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 660
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 1:02:05 PM
i contact men from the no e-mails list...to get them off not having any e-mails...it breaks the ice & they get a big laugh at it...it starts up friendships...but yes i do contact a man if i have interest in him...if he don't like it...oh well' move on to another one...yee-haa
 Meh2k
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 661
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 1:36:15 PM

^^^ Ok but you're still here online... not off the site happily married and out making babies. So, your post only proves my point. Guys get an ego boost and think BBD (they can always get a bigger, better deal).


Very weird way to look at it. I bet being a woman you get far more messages then even the most attractive male on here, so why are you here and not happily married and out making babies?
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 662
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:06:03 PM
Actually I can't answer for all men, but know I like receiving an email, I enjoy switching roles in the bedroom or whatever....I like feeling we both desire each other.

As for men secretly like being the persuer...not sure, some might, maybe it was society that had something to do with this notion.

Personally I think both genders like attention, to be wanted, needed and desired and to be shown this.

I think that is a human traight
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 663
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:09:12 PM

My experience is that while men say 'yes' go ahead and do it. Its mostly for ego boosting.


Personally I think its human to want to be caressed, touched, held, and to be shown the someone desires you, or wants you....and all the etc.'s we can throw in there.

Meaning men and women are no different in this respect...if it is otherwise, then its one sided. No one wants that.
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