| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/19/2008 12:26:17 PM | Pooh bear 2003/ message 162
Its' pretty certain that you will get a response. Men are...after all...visually motivated, and your photo has ensured that they will be.  | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:40:15 AM | I have no problem with women contacting me first and wish it would happen more often. Like some others have said, there is the factor that many do not respond (men and women) so it tends to feel like rejection. But, as the song says, TTMFITS - "There's Too Many Fish in the Sea." I'm sure that I am not the only guy who doesn't mind the female-first approach. Whatever works...
Peace
Rick | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:09:51 PM | | What do you say girl, don't you find that man are often just sitting on the fence, you need to initiant things sometimes. I truly believe that we are a lot more agressive and we know what we want. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:13:46 PM | | Personally I feel flattered when I am contacted first. I know it's been said before but you have to realize how the matches work. If there is something in the profile such as smoking, you may never show up on a search from the guy you may be interested. I know that I get discouraged when I e-mail several women and get no reply. I think a wink button or similar way to let someone know you are interested would be a good thing. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:40:07 PM |
<div class='quote'>Personally I feel flattered when I am contacted first.
...You mean contacted first, but only from females living within 75 miles of you right?
And the wink button, I've been saying that since I joined PoF...it would make flirting a a whole lot easier haha
...maeflowers | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:17:29 AM | I had a distance restriction of only 75 miles, until I realized that sometimes I do hear from men who are thinking about moving to my area. That is the only reason I removed it. Otherwise it makes no sense to me, since I will not relocate. And expecting someone to relocate just for me is unrealistic in my opinion.
There would be no way to spend enough time together to know if there's a mutual interest unless one traveled miles and miles on the chance that there may be. And how many trips would they have to make in order to determine this?
Long distance doesn't work for me. No way! But back on topic, I would think it would be flattering to a man for a woman to contact him first. But, I still say, what would he think of her ? Would she get the same respect as the ones whom he contacted first? At the first disagreement, would he throw it up to her? Questions! Questions! Questions! | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:20:35 AM | | No I mean contacted first. If someone more than 75 miles is interested that is fine with me. We all make some limits on our searches, that doesn't mean it's a strict rule, it just reduces the number of matches so we're not overwhelmed with results. Heck I can drive fast enough so say 100 miles wouldn't take long. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:28:47 AM | Not knowing how others feel about it, I can't say for certain but if someone thinks you're looking for sex or that you are desperate just because you make first contact will think the same thing if they contacted you first and responded right away.
Face it people have their own opinions about everything. A lot are developed from past experiences and it will take time for them to change their opinion if the reaction is different from what they have experienced previously.
Side note to original topic, if you were at the store and saw a man you'd like to come make first contact, would you give him some signal that you are receptive to him? I think most would, so on this site it is difficult to let someone know you are receptive to them, trying just adding as a favorite and leave the ball in the other's court. If they are interested they'll contact you. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:41:54 AM |
No I mean contacted first. If someone more than 75 miles is interested that is fine with me. We all make some limits on our searches, that doesn't mean it's a strict rule, it just reduces the number of matches so we're not overwhelmed with results. Heck I can drive fast enough so say 100 miles wouldn't take long.
On POF when you restrict to 75 miles or less, someone who is 100 miles is unable to contact you anyway. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:45:14 AM | I don't come on to men first, even though I may find them attractive. I actually met one of my past relationships in the supermarket! I felt him looking at me and I looked up and smiled. I had noticed him, but would never have let him catch me looking at him. Had I not found him attractive, I would not have smiled at him. I do know how to show a man that I'm receptive, once I sense that he is interested in me. As I've mentioned before, my radar is always up. Everywhere I go.
On here, I put a few men on as favorites just because they live in my area, not to show an interest in meeting them! Didn't know that was what "favorites" meant.
I had planned on looking at the profiles and putting more on my favorites list, just as a friendly gesture from a local. Hope they didn't take it as a flirt. I do wish they did have flirts or smiles on this site. That would be a good way of showing interest. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:05:17 PM |
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Only if they've really read my profile. I'm pretty burned out on random number-generated contacts just for the Hell of it. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:35:17 PM |
I don't come on to men first, even though I may find them attractive. I actually met one of my past relationships in the supermarket! I felt him looking at me and I looked up and smiled. I had noticed him, but would never have let him catch me looking at him. Had I not found him attractive, I would not have smiled at him. I do know how to show a man that I'm receptive, once I sense that he is interested in me. As I've mentioned before, my radar is always up. Everywhere I go.
On here, I put a few men on as favorites just because they live in my area, not to show an interest in meeting them! Didn't know that was what "favorites" meant.
I had planned on looking at the profiles and putting more on my favorites list, just as a friendly gesture from a local. Hope they didn't take it as a flirt. I do wish they did have flirts or smiles on this site. That would be a good way of showing interest.
WOW MsMocha!
I smile at everyone! Wonder what kind of signals I'm unknowingly sending???
Of course anyone can do as they please regarding "first contact." However, I would suggest that if a woman views a guys profile and listens to her intuition, she usually isn't going to find herself in a predictument of initiating correspondence with a perve. Perve meaning, a guy that's going to assume you are desparate or looking for a roll in the hay.
A lot of us are mannerly men and can handle the situation with the upmost courtesy, whether we're interested or not. Many of us consider an add to "favorites" as a pleasent way to say, "I find you interesting." Nothing more, nothing less.
Let me reiterate, I'm not putting down your choice. I'm just letting other woman know that 'initiating contact/adding to favorites' is not a negative to a decent man.
I have an idea. I like your suggestion of "winks" on this site. Why don't you, or have you, suggested it to Admin? It's a good idea!
surely im shirley,
Thanks for the compliment. Drop me a note. I would make "first contact", to thank you, but your restriction will not allow me. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:42:02 PM | MsMochaSweet,
You are neither wrong nor right. It all depends on what you are more comfortable with. My friend has no problems making a first move. For me it's a problem. I feel no romance if a man is not pursuing me. So, just listen to yourself and pick the way that is best for you regardless of what other people do or think. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:27:15 PM | I actually prefer that women make the first contact.
Too often, I've had very rude responses, because I don't:
dress right, have the right car, live in the right neighborhood, have the desired skin tone, have enough credit cards, or attend the desired church.
I don't have a laundry list of qualifications that prospective friends must pass in order to talk to me.
I'm not looking for my "one true love" or a "soulmate" or someone who will "complete me," I am here to actually meet real people and expand my circle of friends. If romance happens, it happens.
My car is old, but it's clean, it runs reliably, and it's paid for;
I always shower and put on a clean tshirt and jeans before I go out;
my bills always get paid on time, and I don't invite dates to places I can't afford.
My picture on my profile is recent, it's actually me, and it isn't "posed;" it's what I actually look like.
And, oh yes, I'm not going to change my lifestyle, habit of dress or grooming, occupation, or place of residence, to impress someone who is expecting a Tom Selleck with a PhD in SDW (supporting demanding women). | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:59:43 PM | This is a good question. After much thought, I emailed someone, he replied! Was so happy to hear from me, flattered that I emailed him. We emailed back and forth, he gave me his number, asked for mine......never heard from him again!
Did not like the feeling.
I think guys have a hard time, putting themselves out there, sometimes, getting rejected, others no response. It made me see the other side a bit clearer.
For me, I will not make the first move again.
I like an old fashion type guy. I like it the old way. I enjoy the man to make the first move, I see it as a sign of confidence, also see it as he put himself out to do so, so I should respond in some form. So, if they don't contact me first, I will not feel I missed out. What I think, is that, the type of person I am looking for, will make the first move. | |
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| Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:07:29 PM | ... I've made the first move as you did, no response , then I thought damn....I'm not doing this no more. It kinda feels like a slap in the face doesn't it? not to mention its very damaging to my self-esteem All these years you guys have had to make the first move....kudos.
...maeflowers | |
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