| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:02:12 AM | OP, I do not think you are ugly.
Maybe you are the more approachable one.
If you treat any guy who is flirting with you, as using you to get to your friends, you gonna die single. Don't worry bout it. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:05:41 AM | Could be many reasons.
a) A guy may want to ensure his chances at scoring so he chats the less attractive or quiet looking one up and flirts a bit thinking the competition for her attention is next to none and wants to be close enough to hottie to see what kind of attention she is getting. If she gives off any sign she has any interest in him he will make a move for her.
b) He may be wanting to just meet someone and you look like someone he might want to know. The guy may seem quite nice, attractive or has some good attributes making him interesting to you, however more often than not women will seek attention in a competitive manor against friends even. Your friend may be dropping flirtatious hints to guys chatting you up feeling left out by those nice guys who could quite possibly feel they had no chance with her in the first place.
c) Guys will sometimes feel out of a womans league if she appears to be model material or the likes. It is sometimes easier to talk to someone who seems more average as most men really want someone just like mom deep down. Not to say they want a woman to be their mom but their moms are the model in which an ideal woman is taught to them.
I am sure you are a great person but are just not closing the deal when chatting it up with guys flirting with you. Be yourself and you'll find ones that want to get to know you better.
The pretty girls are most often flirty and have lots of guys vying for their attention giving one guy really no chance of getting to know her and her looks sometimes are just that, pretty to look at but shallow while average women are beautiful inside and out and generally don't flirt around much but would rather get to know fewer guys to learn more about one great one. Sometimes one persons ugly is anothers diamond (diamond in the rough). You are far from ugly. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:09:35 AM | | OP, I"m the same as you. My friend is ultra gorgeous and I'm the plain one. But that doesn't bother me because I know the pain that my friend went through in her relationships. Believe me I'm happy being the plain one at least I won't run into jerks who are abusive like my gorgeous friends do. You will be the one who will meet the better ones in the long run. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:16:35 AM | Many guys are naturally intimidated by women they find attractive. They fear rejection not to mention their hormones are making them act all stupid when they talk to the woman of their desires.
So, the friend is a safe zone. There's NO rejection because he doesn't care. Second, it puts him close to what he really wants. Third, he's hoping by being "nice" to the friend she'll tell the one he wants what a great guy he is.
Using people may not be right, but it's what humans do eh? | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:31:38 AM |
So here is my question: "Why do guys flirt with the "ugly" friend when they are interested in the "hot" friend?
That is the situation between my best friend and I. She is gorgeous and I am just normal looking but whenever we go out and meet guys, they flirt with me but then I soon get pushed to the side for her. Why do guys do this when they apparently have no interest in the "ugly" friend?
Dog/Queen rule?
Treat the dogs like queens, and treat the queens like dogs.
Sorry, I'm just kidding.....
OP...I honestly don't think you are "ugly".
Like many have said, most guys tend to talk to women they feel are more accessible.
At the end of the day, I'm going to enjoy talking with someone that is fun and interesting, not someone that will blow me off most the evening. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:53:49 AM | Ishtar
If you're the everyday "Plain Jane" in Ontario then I need to pack my bags and head to town.
Ok ...back on topic
Friends need to have a code of ethics and one of those code is "no hopping". If he approaches a woman he
should be locked into that women (according to the friends) unless the friends pow wow and give clearance.
When I was growing up if a gal was flirting with one of our buddies ..we were cordial to here but she got the
cold shoulder if she flirted.
O | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:04:59 AM |
Friends need to have a code of ethics and one of those code is "no hopping". If he approaches a woman he should be locked into that women (according to the friends) unless the friends pow wow and give clearance. When I was growing up if a gal was flirting with one of our buddies ..we were cordial to here but she got the cold shoulder if she flirted.
Wow... there are people out there who are friends like this??
I've been making friends with the wrong women I think. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:06:10 AM | Men get bashed if they go for looks and then get bashed and questioned when we don't. Damned if you do/damned if you don't
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:06:35 AM | I am open, friendly and always smiling- guys come up and talk to me a LOT at clubs. I think approachable people get approached. I think I appear confident and relaxed- again, this makes men feel comfortable [imagine their jobs, always having to be the ones doing the initiating!] And I just LOVE talking to men, learning about them, finding out how their minds work. Laughing and playing- it's fun!
I know that when I am attracted to somebody I get really shy and quiet around them as I'm afraid to make myself sound stupid.
And that is why I don't date, period. Stupid at 50 STILL- oh well! | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:23:15 AM |
Wow... there are people out there who are friends like this??
I've been making friends with the wrong women I think.
SpiceyCougar
I know! I've seen women hanging out with "friends" that wouldn't trust a friend for
5 minutes around a guy they like.
O | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:42:23 AM | Of course, as mentioned, it's a means to get acceptance from the group and make your way to the girl you're really interested.
And it is interesting how important that really is.
I have approached a girl that I was interested in who was with a group but sitting by herself at the moment. And we started having an engaging conversation, she was telling me about herself. And her friends immediately noticed almost like merkats with their heads tilting to the side and then one of them came over grabbed her hand and said "Go to the bathroom with me" and dragged her off.
I got****blocked by her friend. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:37:04 PM |
And it is interesting how important that really is.
I have approached a girl that I was interested in who was with a group but sitting by herself at the moment. And we started having an engaging conversation, she was telling me about herself. And her friends immediately noticed almost like merkats with their heads tilting to the side and then one of them came over grabbed her hand and said "Go to the bathroom with me" and dragged her off.
I got****blocked by her friend.
That's why you walk the line between the two extremes.
Don't zone in on the person you want. Don't zone in on the friends of the person you want. If you're approaching somebody who is with friends, include them all in your conversation, but give more attention to the girl you actually want. It makes everybody included (meaning you get the support of the friends) while still dropping the hint to the girl you actually like (meaning the girl doesn't get the idea that you like one of her friends instead). | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:43:26 PM | There may be a few reasons, some of which may have to do with how you see yourself.
How much interest do you have for those guys who do that anyway? All you may need is that one special guy who sees you for you and fits you.
Apparently, there's a video floating around on YouTube called 'The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less'. Unsure what it's about exactly, but maybe it's self-evident by the title. | |
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