| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:54:06 AM | "[Whaaa??? It was your parents' choice, privilege and responsibility to raise you. You "owe" them nothing. However, you care for them because you love them. Your "payback" is raising good children. Not everyone has the option of moving a dementia patient in with them, since they may be working full time.]"
Woah........if you ask me that's a really selfish point of view. But whatever floats your boat.
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| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 8/15/2008 10:09:37 AM | My grand parents had to move to an assisted living facility.
The easiest thing you can do is bring them there, let them meet the people and caretakers.
There is a good chance she may get to like some of them(assuming she remembers them).
It worked for my grand parents and they are really stubborn(because they are dutch  ) | |
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| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:42:50 AM | | Caring for aging parents is heartbreaking. How are things going with your mother. | |
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| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:26:18 AM | OP, I hope you can give us an update, and I hope that things are going as well as they can for you and your family.
I want to comment on the issue of being vague about when they can leave the facility or telling them 'tomorrow'. You (or your sister) should talk with the staff at the facility about your parent and how they are doing. My sister & I have been vague with our dad about when he can get out, but after talking with the manager at his facility, we are going to change our approach. Our dad has been clinging to the hope that our brother who lives out of town will come and get him. The manager explained to us that Dad is still able to process information and remember what he's been told, and she said he needs to get a call from our brother and hear that he cannot go to live with him. She explained that Dad will never adapt to his new home if he continues to hope that we will take him elsewhere. She also added that even though it will be painful for him to accept, he needs to hear the truth from us at all times, so that he will know he can trust us. She explained that even after his illness gets to the point that he can't remember who we are, he still will be able to see our faces and feel that he can trust us - that we are safe.
I hadn't thought of this, but it makes sense to me. We are planning to have our brother call him, and will be notifying staff of it so that they can watch Dad closely to make sure he is safe.
I hope you are doing okay, OP, and that you are keeping strong through this time - it truly is awful to deal with. | |
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| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 9/8/2008 2:14:11 PM | The OP said her sister has POA...therefore she really has no say in the matter at all. She can suggest thigns if she is on good terms with her sister, but otherwise she really can't do a lot.
Ass't living in a care facility would be the best option. Trying to bring someone into the home to keep "mom at home" for sentimental reasons is an expensive undertaking, but do-able.
If she really doesn't need a lot of care, a place like where I live could be a solution. Laundry, meals and room cleaning looked after, the rest totally up to the person living in the room. They come and go as they please here. Knobette makes sure they have their pills in hand daily. Ok...their minds may not always be there...but they are no trouble really. It isn't as if they are running away or wandering off getting lost. IF they need more help, the family has to provide for that. Or special diet or whatever. Some are out till the wee hours at the dance hall on weekends. Seems there is always a funeral, wedding, christening they are off to. Busy people, most of them.
Good luck! | |
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| Aging parent -what to do?
Posted: 9/8/2008 2:53:56 PM | I moved to Fla from NY in Feb of 07 to be close to my family. Unfortunately my Mother passed away in March less than 30 days after my arrival. My 87 year old Father has a host of medical problem but his mind is sharp as a tack and he sometimes surprises me. He and I have talked at great length about assisted living or a nursing home and after seeing what the market is like here in healthcare and elderly care one thing for sure my Dad is staying right here with me. The relationship that has REGROWN between him and I has been a very rewarding time in my life and would not change one minute of it. Oh yes there are times when it is very hard on me but he is my father and I love him.......
Good luck to all of you | |
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