| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:45:05 AM | I have a good mate in a chair - great fun bloke and lovely to be around (also married with children!). One of the funniest things I have ever watched was him in goal during a kids v adults football match. His cunning plan was to have a large sack of sweeties to throw at children to distract them if they looked like attacking his goal. It failed as the adults kept stopping to pick them up- not the kids.
I went with him when he did his first sky dive...his terror at being strapped to a 5' 8" instructor when he is 6' 4"... totally awesome.
Would I date someone like him- probably not. I have also been there when he has been bed-ridden for three months because of an infected hair follicle on his bum...It is not the life I want. His wife and children have adapted brilliantly, but I am way too active and selfish to take it on. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:13:35 AM | hiya.i don't know any female wheelchair users so i don't know if it's harder for us girls but i do have two male friends who are. one since birth and the other who fell out of a tree whilst pissed at uni and broke his back....both of them seem to pull like crazy..i'm sure it's difficult to get past some peoples narrow mindedness at time but it can be done.
i've never been out with someone in a wheelchair but i did date someone with no arms once ( if we are allowed to bunch disability together here) ..cos he was a nice bloke and pretty fit. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:47:21 AM | I am deemed a wheelchair user after having a major bike accident back in Sept 06, which led to me having my lower left leg amputated below the knee. I spent the best part of three months in a chair and di see the world froma different prespective. I am fairly lucky in that I do not rely on my wheel chair and can walk completley unaided now. I do occasionally use my chair, but its very rare now.
Would i date a woman in a chair, yes I would, its not about the wheels either side of them its about the person inside.
Good luck and dont give up x
Jason x | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:21:21 AM |
Nice lady here asking for a bit of advice and some ****ing bloody tosspiece says it's a troll post. God some people here make me really angry!!!!!
Wow, calm down Graham!! I've never seen you this mad before!! (By the way, what's a troll post?)
My best friend is married to a woman in a wheelchair; she was wheelchair bound when they met and it didn't matter one little bit. He is a nice, attractive, funny guy who fell for the woman she is, not the chair she's sitting in.
But what does make me mad is the number of people who have hinted to him that he could have done better for himself! He gets pitying looks and sympathy from women at work or in pubs, because they think he's married "beneath him". Now THAT makes me angry!!! He's very happily married, loves his wife to bits and they have a daughter who is beautiful and sunny natured, just like both her parents!
It's very much an individual choice surely? I personally have never dated anyone in a wheelchair, but only because nobody has ever asked me! If it's not for you, that's fine...but don't condemn others who make that choice!! | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:58:31 AM | well, I am able bodied now, but due to a stroke and paralysis of the right side I spent 11 years in a wheelchair, I have been subject to most of the items previously referred to, The fact that you cant walk automatically makes you, deaf, blind, dumb or stupid and so they speak to the pusher as if you werent there, and worse, ask the pusher what YOU think about things or like. I have been to many places where I wasnt allowed access because of being on wheels.
On the flip side, as you will realise I spent lots of time with other wheelchair users and they are a mixed bag, some just accept they have what they have and get on with life as I did, Some are angry at the world because they have legs and can get around, some are just total Sheets and some are so full of self pity it stops them from living a normal life. Some feel the world and its inhabitants oews then=m something.
So all in all, they and able bodied are not any different because there are people of those types in all walks of life.
Anyway, NOW I just get knocked back by women cos im old fat and ugly, Hmmmmmm, I need to find a new excuse for things not going my way, Any ideas peeple?
John Valentine | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:01:15 AM | | i believe people should spend 1 day of their lives in a wheelchair to see just how hard it is for them that are..i spent 6 months in one and found lots of people regaurd them as lowlifes.i was spared trying to date from one so cant really coment on that side but i would say some could be missing out due to not seeing more than a wheelchair. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:17:51 AM | I hope this comes across tactfully, or at least inoffensively.
There are specific problems in dating someone with a wheelchair and you have to see that. However, there are specific problems for men who aren't six feet tall, are fat, ugly, have no job etc etc etc. We're all trying to find someone who likes us, no matter what our situation and whilst your struggle might last longer than some, it's no different.
When you say you want someone to love you for who you are and not what size you are, I think you're being a tad ideallistic. What size you are, what values you hold, what your hair looks like, these are all the things that make up 'you'. So someone cannot ignore the "size i am or what i look like" as that IS you. It's all part of you. If someone did love you they would love you despite "i no im not the best looking person in the world", they would think you were, as they would be measuring all the things about you.
In my personal experience the only wheelchair users I have seen being treated like crap are those with a bad attitude who treat everyone else like crap.
I personally would not date a wheelchair user. But then I won't date a man either, or someone overweight, or a woman covered in tattoos, etc etc etc.
It's just preferences.
**Edit: missed a post or two. I agree, this is a troll post as I understand the rules. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:09:26 AM | | Of course I would date a wheelchair user. Using a wheelchair per se is simply not at all a barrier. I have gone out with and lived with women who use a chair full time or occasionally. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:23:09 AM | | Quite simply it would depend on the person. No further comment needed.... | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:47:51 AM | Asking again....because I've searched high and low in the forum FAQs and can't find an answer....
WHAT'S A TROLL POST???!!!
I had a troll when I was a little girl, it was plastic and had pink hair....I'm guessing it's not the same thing....
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:13:44 AM |
would you date a guy/girl that is a wheelchair user?
have you ever dated some 1 who is a wheelchair user?
Sure, if he is nice, funny and like me (that would realy help).
As for the chair, saves bus money and you dont have to look for a chair if you want to have a quicky.
But seriously, what does it matter? Doesnt make a difference to the bloke now, does it?
He is still who he is no matter what. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:00:39 AM | would you date a guy/girl that is a wheelchair user?
have you ever dated some 1 who is a wheelchair user?
If i were looking for a date, my answer would be no. Big fat no. (Sorry)
I would not be able to cope. Even if he's a great looking man, never lied, never cheated, .. etc etc never done anything bad in his entire life etc. Nope.
OP i wish you luck. I am sure you will find that special person soon. x  | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:20:00 AM |
WHAT'S A TROLL POST???!!!
I had a troll when I was a little girl, it was plastic and had pink hair....I'm guessing it's not the same thing....
Lol I think it used to mean someone who used a fake account to make statements on a forum, usually of a contentious nature. It seems now tho that it means any post that is there to 'bait people'. See here http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5223445.aspx for an explanation. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:38:32 AM | The Wikipedia has a good if lengthy discussion of trolls.
wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:58:00 AM |
ok right im in a wheelchair and have been all my life why is it so hard to find someone that will love me 4 who i am ?
why is it we get treated like crap?
I discussed this thread with a friend who has been in a wheelchair all his life. He basically told me that my own enthusiasm and experience of relationships with people in chairs was more irritating than helpful to hear, and he agreed with the OP that he is mostly "treated like crap." "Telling her that you are not prejudiced and God's gift to disabled women will not make her happier, especially since you are already taken. There's no way she can confirm it anyway."
His recommendation was to avoid worrying about the "why" and try to find dates from classes of people who have had life experience with people with disabilities, and who might be less inclined to be prejudiced on the average.
I have noticed that he gets dates these days pretty often, although he hasn't found Ms. Right yet. | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:49:51 AM | | i wouldnt consider it now as i live in a fist floor flat so they would never be ableto visit but i have in the past dated someone who had cerible palsy and found it hardto walk and it wasnt a problem | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:45:09 PM | troll ?
read
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Internet_trolling
etc... | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/10/2008 8:46:21 AM | OK folks here i go on my high horse I am a wheelchair user and have been all my life!! I have been to uni, work, been married, have a kid, my own flat and live life to the full!! A wheelchair is just a form of transport some folk need to use to get around!! Folk dont get discriminated against because they drive a car or bike!! If folk cant see past my wheelchair thats their problem and I wld not want to date them anyway!!!!! Folk are too quick too judge and make assumptions!! My medical condition has never held me back!! The only disability I have are folks negative attitudes and some pubs have steps up to them but what the hell I wld rather spend my money in a pub which is accessible!! Lets not judge and make assumptions we shld be celebrating our differences cause believe me we all have them!! Oh and I spent most of my childhood on boats as my father was a sailor!! I agree sometimes the way we are treated as disabled people can affect our confidence but have faith!! I have made loads of friend on the site both male and females who just see me for who I am!! SS xx | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:17:28 AM |
OK folks here i go on my high horse I am a wheelchair user and have been all my life!! I have been to uni, work, been married, have a kid, my own flat and live life to the full!! A wheelchair is just a form of transport some folk need to use to get around!! Folk dont get discriminated against because they drive a car or bike!! If folk cant see past my wheelchair thats their problem and I wld not want to date them anyway!!!!! Folk are too quick too judge and make assumptions!! My medical condition has never held me back!! The only disability I have are folks negative attitudes and some pubs have steps up to them but what the hell I wld rather spend my money in a pub which is accessible!! Lets not judge and make assumptions we shld be celebrating our differences cause believe me we all have them!! Oh and I spent most of my childhood on boats as my father was a sailor!! I agree sometimes the way we are treated as disabled people can affect our confidence but have faith!! I have made loads of friend on the site both male and females who just see me for who I am!! SS xx
Well said SS xx | |
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| wheelchair users??????
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:35:51 AM | For one thing it would be hard to know where the 2 would meet, i mean you don't often find wheelchair users in nightclubs(not that i frequent nightclubs) but saying that if i did come into contact with a wheelchair user and we saw alot of each other, any romance would come the same way as it would a able bodied person, attraction weather it be physical or emotional, if you liked a person,the fact they couldn't walk is imaterial,
p.s . i think your veiw that wheelchair users are treated like rubbish is somewhat unfounded, i would think most people treat them with respect and curtesy. | |
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