| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:41:23 AM |
I used to only date for money until one day the cops busted in and told me that the correct term was prostitution... sigh it just hasn't been the same after that.
Oh, Desdemona,I love you--in a decent, womanly way, of course.
I can understand where the OP is coming from when she says that she would like a professional man. First, he isn't after HER money. Second, he isn't going to moan and groan about his financial status and his lot in life. I want a man who is financially comfortable, but not for me--for himself. I support myself; I do not want to support a man and I do not expect him to support me.
In my middle-aged dating experience, I have had a few dates with men who were not financially successful. One stands out, a man in his late 40s who moaned and groaned all evening about he could have "made it big" if only his daddy had bankrolled him like his friend's daddy had done. He ****ed about his job, his living space, everything. When he went to the bathroom, it was the only time that I tried to call a friend to call me back and tell me an emergency was happening. It was also when I decided going out for coffee or a Coke was the best first date. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:59:22 AM |
Back to POF, you get a free dinner , meaning you never want to see that guy again for whatever reasons and you didn't put out, that earns you the title ,you are a gold digger!
but if you did 'put out', that earns you the title of what, exactly? | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:05:17 AM | I just had to to reply to postings 9, 10 and 15...
First, just because I want a professional man with ambition doesn't mean I want his money. I want him to have his own money so he won't be asking me to pay for everything, or won't be whining he can't go out/do anything because he's broke. Also, if we have any long-term potential, I want him to be able to go on some vacations and save for retirement like I am doing. Not so he can pay for me - so he can pay for himself.
As for the professional thing.....A lot of men in trades, construction, etc make good money. I want a professional man so we will have that in common. I want him to understand my job and that just because I sit at a desk all day doesn't make it easy. For example, a friend of mine is married to a guy who does manual labor. He is a great guy and earns about the same as she does. However, she is often frustrated that he thinks that because she sits behind a desk all day that it's easy and she should never be tired when she gets home. She said it's a spot of contention for them because he thinks only manual labor is work. And he doesn't encourage their daughters to go to college, which she thinks is important. She often says that if she knew that he would think so differently that she wouldn't have married him. I don't want to get in that situation! Not that every man with that type of job thinks that, but I just want someone who can relate to me and my work.
And lastly, as an answer to posting 15, I have never even dated a man who wears suits to the office every day, much less Armani suits. I don't even know if I've ever seen a man wear Armani suits. The last guy I dated wore jeans and shorts to work at his office.
The whole purpose of my posting was to try to make the men making generalizations about women wanting their money see that maybe it's their criteria. I agree with the posters talking about men trying to show off. I am more impressed by a man who manages his money well and doesn't have to buy every new toy out there. If you can afford a nice car, sure then buy one if you like. But I don't think you need to buy one to impress women, and if a woman is just so impressed by that, well, then maybe just make sure there are no other signs she is a gold-digger. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:16:13 AM | I think most women just don't want to have to dish out money beyond their own expenses to date someone else, and those same women (hopefully) don't want men to dish out money for them either.
Women want men to pay their own way in life, therefore eliminating money as an issue in a potential relationship. If we can build a life and take care of ourselves, it'd be dumb not to seek the same in a partner. It's the same as a lot of other things...you should offer what you ask, and vice versa.
I don't care that a man is professional, just that he lives in a manner where what he makes is good for his lifestyle. He doesn't have to have an extravagant lifestyle, but he should be content with what he does have.
If I want to do something he can't afford...then it's not his problem to match it, I can do those things with other people who can. But bottom line is that I don't want to be expected to pay someone else's way. I don't expect anyone to pay mine, and it's only fair that someone else has the same attitude. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:16:49 AM | Op ~ I've wondered about this myself ~
It leaves one wondering if we are hearing from some "skin-flint men" ~ or
they truly are falling victims to a ~ "all for me" girl.
I know for a fact ~ both types are around.
But myself I find that women are most generious ~ ofcourse I'm only 60 and what could I possible know about women?
I can't count the times that women have helped me out ~ and then again ~ I've helped a lot of women out as well ~ To me it's always pay forward situation.
People that are drugging are always short cash ~ people that spend money foolishly or don't work or are under employed are always short.
The reasons a many ~ you don't have to do anything wrong ~ to find yourself in a cash flow pinch
To go out for the evening is now more expensive the ever before ~ I think a lot of men find themselfs in the position that ~~ they want to date but can't afford to and they are very upset with this turn of events.
It's hard to do that with only 40 dollars in your pocket ~ considering fuel and ETC.
It is an issue ~ how big and with whom? ~
I and the ladies I enjoy being with ~ like to layout at the pool ~ with some great music a few friends and 4 or 5 beers or a half a gallon of our favorate beverage. Or take a country walk and skip a few rocks ~ maybe a trip to the video store or go feed the horses and vist and pet 15 or 20 of them. ~ No interest in riding really ~ just admire them and love them.
My answer , the younger ones of both sex are are straining under the load.
Dance | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:21:42 AM | | Dance, those are some great things to do...I enjoy the outdoors and doing something like riding bikes, walking, etc. Doesn't have to be a costly date. I understand that going out to dinner, etc can get expensive, especially one or more times a week. I enjoy just sitting home and watching a movie. There are many things you can do without spending much. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:22:50 AM | So that's the excuse? All women are to be perceived as "gold diggers" because "all my friends said so?"
I've had women tell me that all men are cheaters and all men will abuse you if you give them enough of a reason. I'm glad no one can "pound" anything into my head that I don't choose to believe. Thank God I grew a mind of my own. I guess it's a good thing that most of us did, or the "all men are cheaters" thing would be a common belief among women.
Here's a hint to all of you: Stop chasing after the hotties, unless you can afford them, and you won't have to worry. A real woman can take care of herself, while the "hotties" don't think they should have to. A real live Barbie doll is high maintainence, and it costs a lot to keep her up. If you don't want to finance her plastic surgery and shopping trips, find someone who isn't bent on being "eye candy," because that type of woman is so wrapped up in herself that she's got nothing left for anyone else. There are even sites set up for those types now...all those "sugardaddy" sites. Let them go there, where there are men who are willing to pay the price of being with them. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:29:47 AM |
Anyway, it seems the current rules of dating have been influenced by a foolish book from the 90s called "The Rules" (I think, could be late 80s).
In Europe both men and women consider those rules to be similar to prostitution.
BUT EVERYONE HAS TO ADMIT WOMEN DO BENEFIT MORE FINANCIALLY FROM DATING AND MARRYING A MAN MUCH MORE THAN HE DOES? | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:33:48 AM |
Is it just me, or are there way too many men on here griping that all women want is money?
The men who are doing the griping are not worried about women wanting them for their money. They are upset about women rejecting them because they are unemployed, uneducated or employed but at a minimum wage job. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:46:17 AM | I have my own money, I don't want or need a mans. That said, I have a long time male friend who told me just this week that in one month he has worked so much that he has made $12k. I asked him, why are you telling me this, he said I just thought you would be impressed. Well, you know, this is not the first time a man has told me about his earning potential in order to impress me and frankly all it does is make me feel like he is trying to buy me and I am not for sale.
Then there are the men who are with the women who have nothing but their looks, marry them and then get taken for everything in the divorce. I would just like to say to these men, well pal, who married the chick from Hooters? You did, you need kick your own self in the ass and stop blaming all the women in the world for your poor judgement. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:51:11 AM | | Yep ... you got it right ... the men pick & choose from what they physically view instead of being willing to meet in person ... they think if you aren't to their specifications to what they think is the "perfect woman" then you're only after their money -- if truth is known, the ones they choose are usually just like the one they left behind -- the ones who are after them for their money .... & then they wonder why they're alone ... take a good look in the mirror guys -- NOT ALL WOMEN ARE AFTER YOUR MONEY .... | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:56:47 AM | If you use the search box here and type in gold or money you find a zillion threads about women after money, money being important, and mo money. And the best thing is, it's free to do a thread search. Won't cost you a dime!
Money and weight are the two top subjects, followed by what is love and how you can tell, with ranting about being played, dumped and abused close behind. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:00:09 AM | | I just thought of another scenario of a man trying to buy a woman. One of my friends was telling me how her ex-husband called her whining about how his fiance was going to leave him if he didn't buy her a bigger house. She tried to tell him that any woman who would leave him because he couldn't/wouldn't buy her a bigger house didn't love him. He didn't listen. She ended up leaving him anyways. He just married another woman without a job. He is now trying to buy her a house with a pool to make her happy. He just tells my friend that all women are that way. No, all women he dates are that way! Some people never learn! | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:13:40 AM | | I'm just wondering why the men with excellent income are not the ones worried about gold diggers? I feel sorry for the poor guys have been taken to the cleaners by our legal system in their divorces but these same guys are the ones still looking for the relationship with the girl is is just eye candy and indeed are intimidated by a woman who takes responsibility for her own life, money, etc... | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:37:12 AM |
Is it just me, or are there way too many men on here griping that all women want is money? Seriously, who are you men dating? I actually know very few women who care that the man they date is rich. I have often dated men who made less than what I made. I would like to date a professional, someone with ambition. Not because I want him to take me to fine dinners, or exotic vacations, or buy me a big SUV. But because we should be on equal footing. If I go out with a man, we take turns paying. It's only fair.
What you're saying here is you're looking for a man at least as "good" as you in the financial area. I'm not sure what your point is. There is nothing wrong with your stated position, if that's what you want, but of course any guy who makes less than you will indeed state, money is a significant concern for you.
Well, it gets worse than that. Most guys will not consider dating long term, women who make significantly less than they do. The resulting change in lifestyle is simply too much. So you're pretty much guaranteed to get exactly what you asked for ... someone close to the same financial capability as yourself. Probably no need to worry about it.
*** sarcasm ON, no hate mail please ***
Your profile states: Seeking attractive guy with sense of humor.
I bet you want him to be smart as well and attractive probably includes fit. So you're looking for a smart, funny, fit, athletic, attractive guy who is AT LEAST as successful as you are. Geez ... you want it all. I assuming he has to be 5'6" + killer heels + 2" = 6 foot tall. CRAP CRAP CRAP! missed it by that much (two inches). OOPS, my mistake, you probably want him if be your age or younger ... I wasn't even in the running, not even close.
Clearly, " all women want is money", doesn't apply to you.
I'm sorry, what's was your point again. Oh yeah, you were saying, ... it's what's inside that counts.
*** sarcasm OFF, no hate mail please ... I'm pretty sure this message killed any chance of ANY mail for me, ever ... no soup for you. (soup line of course) ***
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No worries, Katie. You're a young professional woman, seeking similar opposite ... (gender), it'll happen. Probably not on POF, but somewhere.
For me, grocery stores are providing a much better ROI. I hired some high school kids to do marketing samples (accurate 1/20) regarding time of day to best minimize the diminishing return point. I'm also employing some "Hottie cost averaging" to even the peaks and valleys, don't want to over extend. Give that a try. For me the grocery store is only a visible 1/2 block away. Awesome.
So I set up a digital day/night scope routed thru a small network of parallel processing PCs running facial recognition software, ... tweaked for hottie. It has both audible (27 smoke detectors) and visual (large bucket of fireworks, sitting in jet fuel, ignited by military flame thrower) to indicate hottie sited. There are 12 firemen camped outside my condo in the on site parkette. The firemen thing is a mixed blessing. Safer, sure, but sometimes the occasional acquired hottie gets re-acquired going thru the field of testosterone ... what can I say ... they're pretty good guys.
Hint: the smart, funny, athletic ones usually stay on the outside isles. Don't even waste your time going to the chips or ice cream section, unless you're willing to settle for average body type. Stay away from the health food isle, those people are not that healthy after all ... just wasting money (financial concern, red flag, red flag, abort, abort)
My plan for retirement: Every day, I eat a little bit of cat food. (risk management)
Wait, do you hear that ... my hot ... hey where did you go ... who turned out the lights ... man that's way to many fireworks ... this temporary blindness stuff is not as much fun as you think ... I think my leg's on fire. ( * For those NOT following along my hottie detector just went off, hottie sited entering grocery store at 5th and Elm *)
Dam, the firemen caught on to my evil genius plan. They're just going directly to the grocery store, they are not even the slightest bit concerned about the fire. They have been conditioned. Coises... foiled again!
Sweet Evil Je$u$ ... that's a lot of fire. All my work with be destroyed.
* Song playing as fire engulfs unit (condo unit) - Pink Floyd: Money*
Money, get away Get a good job with more pay and your O.K. Money it's a gas Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I'll buy me a football team Money get back I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack.
Money it's a hit Don't give me that do goody good bullshit I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set And I think I need a Lear jet Money it's a crime Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie Money so they say Is the root of all evil today But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're giving none away "HuHuh! I was in the right!" "Yes, absolutely in the right!" "I certainly was in the right!" "You was definitely in the right. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:40:49 AM | The most amusing thing to me is that the guys complaining the loudest about 'gold diggers' dont have any gold to dig.
I make a decent living, I have expendable income. I never even think about money most of the time. It's a non-issue. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:57:39 AM | "People with 'true wealth' not only dont discuss it.......its classless.............they dont think about it..........."
Very true pretty moon. I agree with your post. I know wealthy people and money is not discussed. It is classless.
Now there are people who want to "appear" wealthy, but are not. They are the ones always talking about what car he or she drives and what toys they have. I know a few men like this. They are just tacky and lack class. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:39:29 PM | How come so many women have such conflicted and hypocritical reasoning? Are they that manipulative? I'll explain, hopefully, they can understand: if you are saying 'he has to have the same amount of wealth/money/status as I do," then you are making demands. You judging and putting a dollar bill (since, this is in terms of material wealth) on the guy. You are saying he is only as useful as what he has (in material terms). Face it, you are shallow and your values are superficial. You are not a catch.
Here's a hint to all of you: Stop chasing after the hotties, unless you can afford them, and you won't have to worry. A real woman can take care of herself, while the "hotties" don't think they should have to.
It's not about gold digging 'hotties' or how much money guy A or guy B has. It's about the women's values. Too many women are missing the point. Whether they make 12K a year or 80K, they are requiring the guy have all these material possessions besides looks. Yet, they are denying this or talking about something else while missing the point (or just avoiding?). | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:53:09 PM | Reply to message 46:
So asking that a man to be on the same page as me makes me shallow and superficial? I assume that is what you are saying. So, in order not to be shallow, all of us should not care if a guy is unemployed, flipping burgers at McDonald's or whatever. I don't remember saying anything about material possessions. And I did say, I've dated men who made less than me. I don't care if the guy makes less than me. I just want a guy with a life similar to mine. He can own a house or rent an apt. I do like if he can manage his finances because, if we last, I don't want us to always be broke. I guess that's shallow, too? | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:53:18 PM | I was going to meet this guy from another date site "Love Happens" (it closed down)nicknamed masyren for the first time and he asked for money for gas, no thank you.
I've dated broke boys when I was a girl do not need one now that I'm a grown up. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:09:01 PM |
nd I did say, I've dated men who made less than me. I don't care if the guy makes less than me.
I bet they still paid for dinner and bought the more expensive gifts and paid for all the weekends and vacations right? | |
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