| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:47:27 AM | My ex seemed like she wanted to be "buddies" right after our divorce.
That felt VERY wierd to me. She had no desire for my friendship during the last several years of our marriage. I'm not a mind-reader, but I think that she may have acted that way out of her desire to "keep up appearances", and it also might have given her some element of control, which was always important to her.
It might also have been her way of feeling less guilt over breaking the marriage - "See, everything's fine. Isn't it?... Isn't it?? Aren't you happy for me and my new life??"
I felt pain everytime I saw her, heard her voice, or saw her emails. So I kept our communications to what was needed for the kids.
It's been a few years, and the pain of contact with her has faded to almost nothing, but I'm still not looking to hang out with her. | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:09:07 AM | if a girl did that to me i wouldnt waste my time because its too Greasy.
hes an idiot, obviously. why waste any more time?
oh yeah.. you have no friends. well. me too. thats the only reason im in these stupid mesage boards today. its not like i find any true value in them.. just kids and kids talking about kids and kids.
but, yeah, thats greasy... i wouldnt honor someone like that after being disgraced | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:09:28 AM | Yes good plan, when you see him remember how he's mslead and manipulated you to use you till he met someone he finds more fascinating.
Better yet , DON'T see him. He's the farthest thing from a friend. He's a " Friend" alright, to HIMSELF - not YOU!! | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:11:46 AM | """Because we have so much love for each other still, we decided to stay bestfriends. How does that work? Any ideas? When I see him I still catch my breath, then I remember"""
Who is "we decided" to be best friends...that's not what lovers do normally, when one is seeing others (or cheating) whatever you want to call it. NO CONTACT! For your own good, his, and hers....I suggest you probably should break it off, if after 4 years there is no more commitment.
But do what makes you happy. | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:24:24 AM |
I couldn't have said it better. Except for the fact that you probably will never be friends. Why would you want to waste the effort and energy on being friends with someone like that? This type of behavior is called "lack of respect".
Notice I said "friendly", not friends. Friendly to me means polite, civil and not make a fuss or cause a scene. Obviously there is a broken friendship because of the circumstances. The potential for genuine love was tossed to the curb when the lack of respect and broken friendship was displayed.
Moving on is the wise decision; you then allow yourself the freedom to find someone better.
Why would you deny yourself this by clinging to a past feeling and the hurt that followed? | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:04:28 AM | | First off I'm sorry. I know stuff like that hurts. But you can't just command your heart to not love him anymore and try to be his bestfriend. He is still way more than that to you but you are just basically putting a false label on him. All you can really do is show him how much you love him and hope that he gets that. | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:08:15 AM | AAAAAAWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'm sorry sweety....that's a pretty heartbreaking story...awe...
The fact of the matter is he hasn't put you first....and take some time to heal right now and maybe consider a friendship later on. But obviously he wasn't on the pedastal you thought he was on if he is finding that taking opportunity with someone else is better than being devoted to you. Your love, committment and dedication will find you the person that deserves it and will reciprocate it back....hang in there hun...you're too good for that...don't be second...you're best suited for first! :)
All the best love! :) | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:14:09 AM | OP - it's kind of ironic that this fella is saying "we were perfect together", yet he wants to explore. Let him go off on his own and explore. The best thing you can do for yourself is walk away from this guy. No contact, no emails, no phone calls, no seeing him, you've got to cut him off cold turkey. Now is not the time to think about being "best friends". Sorry, but that sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. You deserve better than that.
Take the time now to rebuild yourself, do the things that YOU have wanted to do, and then when enough space and distance has helped you heal, start seeing other people. Make this about YOU! | |
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| He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me.
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:10:28 AM | | the others are right move on leave him he doesnt deserve you unless you love him so deeply then fight for him use eveytrick in the book and show him what hes really missing bu ta t the end of the day its up to you. | |
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