| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:33:24 PM |
This is something i strongly agree with i guess go ahead and call "us" YOUNGINS" if it makes some of yall feel like an bigger person....
heather i quoted you as a good example.... i agree with you.... my comments re that quote...meant you found out. by refusing to give your ph #..... that persons reaction ..instantanously..to not getting their own way.. ie acting like an emotional youngin....towards you....
i agree with you... and quoted you b/c i agree.........and im sorry if how i worded my comments came across differently..
smiles/peace | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:47:09 PM | | Totally agree, if someone intrigues you, I feel you should meet. It only takes a few minutes upon meeting to know whether you are a match or not... and isn't those few mintues better than wasting weeks/months with emails on someone who you might meet once and then delete? | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:51:53 PM | " I don't consider it a waste of time to weed out people I don't want to have my phone number, and though it seems from what I've read that I might be the only one who feels this way, I can tell a whole lot about a person from what they write. And it's never taken me months. If you pay attention, save e-mails, look up contacts on other major sites and look for discrepancies in profiles, you learn a lot. And then you sometimes breathe a sigh of relief that you never got to the phone number stage. Just my experience..."
Yeah - becuase theres nothing creepy or "off" by doing background checks on people....
I agree with you Shiny and myself i would not just want to jump the bullet not know exactally how the person is because i was talking to somebody a few years back online and "supposely" we had known one another through "friends" (he says) so i was like sure why not, well when he came to my house he had an "gun" BIG one in back of his truck and he looked like he just gotten off work.
And who gives out their address?!? That's the very LAST thing someone should have the privilage of knowing!
I swear, if people just used this crazy thing called common sense - there would be alot less tragic events in todays society...
EDIT: Sigh im done with this topic...i'm losing precious brain cells just from reading some of the posts here - so ill just ask it once....COMMON SENSE! Do you know what it is? Do you know how to use it? | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:57:01 PM |
I am currently not looking...
Then why do you care?
Maybe some people communicate better in different ways than you do. Maybe these people are more visual than aural and react better to communication that is written rather than spoken. Maybe they want a record of the communication for reference if they have a lot going on in their lives.
Maybe they want to check out the spelling, capitalization and paragraphing as well as have a record of diction, sentence structure, word choice, diction.
Maybe they want evidence. Who knows? | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:58:27 PM | You've got to be kidding. If you talk to someone and right of the bat either dont get along or find out you dont want the same things, is that a waste of time? No it isn't.
Find out about someone and then when you meet them, you can seal the deal or move on. I frankly can't fathom this post and your veiws to be honest. I guess you are mostly about looks to in your mind, you are probably right. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:07:21 AM | my experience on POF of men wanting to phone you instead of having a conversation is they want to meet the same night and rip your clothes off............sorry but i wasnt put on earth so men can get their rocks off!!!!!!
im sure their are plenty of women in the world that would enjoy that, I am not one of them, if i wanted a quick grope i would choose <25 yr old. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:38:31 AM | To people worried of giving out phone number, there are many ways to speak over the internet. All IM program have voice chat and also thing like Skype.
Sound is not as good as phone, but you hear them well enough and you do not risk giving your number, if that is your worry. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:55:29 AM | | OP i agree with all of what you said..I find it riiculous when people say "i wnat to get to knw him/her first" before we meet up?...Really? and you think that will happen by Im's and or phone conversations?..pllease, i'm not saying you shouldnt email and talk on the phone a few times befor eyou meet..but waiting weeks/months?..Are you kidding me?..it's just a total waste of time | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:58:45 AM |
And beleive me, you dont want to drag it out to the point you know EVERYTHING about someone before even meeting them, becuase god knows there wont be much left to learn or talk about...lol.
LOL..completely agree..that's another reason I dont like to talk so much before the first meet..because it simply drags out things and make the meet uninteresting, because you would have already got to know quite a bit about the person | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:00:30 AM |
I should qualify, when phone numbers are shared, it is usually the guy who shares the number and when I call I use block.... The numbers the guys give out are usually cell phone numbers so you can't do a Canada 411 and get their address and such (sorry don't know what the equivalent to 411 is in the USA). Anyway, it is all pretty safe in term of protecting privacy, yet, a quicker way to get to know the person and whether you'd click.
so people can dial a number and get your address base don your phone number??? really????..I didnt know that..how does it work? | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:14:41 AM | How would you define "a lot of time" in regards to MSN/emails? For me, I usually spend just a few days or weeks getting to know a person better online, before moving on, or if the guy seems interesting, I might make plans to meet in person. I can usually tell if a guy will turn out to be a dud after a few days or even hours' worth of online conversation. Seriously, its not that hard to get a general idea of a guy's personality after some conversation. It sounds shallow and I'd like to believe that people really are different in person than online, but most times its not true for the guys I meet online.
As for telephone conversations, the only times I got a number it was used for texting, and one time the guy decided not to call me afterall even though I'd waited for hours. His excuse was that seeing as we weren't going to date, we may as well "not bother" with the whole thing. I did tell him I'm not looking for a boyfriend...
Also, I just don't have a lot of time to go out and meet up for coffee or whatever, so meetings only become a priority to me if I think there could be more between me and a particular guy. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:37:48 AM |
Almost every phone system has a free blocking system by entering in an *xx code on the phone. If you don't want someone to have your number that's fine but that shouldn't prevent a phone conversation from happening if you so deign.
Is this true on a cell phone? Would the instructions be in that little book that came with it that I never bothered to read? 
I agree you can find out about people from text conversations. Do they spell well, what about their mechanics and you have a history of the conversation but it's a slow process.
I wasn't talking as much about spelling and mechanics; although more than a little bit of that turns me off. But there are brilliant people who are dyslexic and average people who write quite well, so that alone isn't enough for me to reject a person.
What I look for, and often see, is obvious inconsistencies between one e-mail and the next because they forget what they've told whom, almost immediate expressions of anger/frustration because I won't meet them right away (and I'm talking about after literally 2 or 3 e-mails) - that sort of thing.
I've never really carried out endless e-mails with anyone. I did exchange quite a few with just one person, but I also spoke with that same person on the phone. Unfortunately, it became apparent after the third call that he was drunk during every one of them, and became very beligerant and defensive that I wouldn't agree to meet him. Since I have an absolute zero BS tolerance policy, especially for that kind of nonsense, we just stopped talking.
Here's what a lot of men don't realize: The way you behave in those e-mails - the level of respect you show for my *right* to feel safe/secure, determines how long the e-mailing and/or phone calls go on, if they go on at all, and whether we eventually meet. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:47:56 AM | I don't think it's a waste of time at all, unless it goes on for months on end. I had one message sent on a cold, rainy Saturday night - "Meet me at 10:00 at the local pub". Why would I go when I had no idea who this guy was or what he wanted? What a jerk!
Taking your time to get to know someone first thru phone calls or emails before actually meeting in person gives you a chance to figure out if you want to take that next step. Sometimes I do, and sometime I just know it's not going to work out.
Pink | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:56:11 AM | Define a lot of time.
There's no way in hell that I am gonna meet someone after ONE conversation. My rule of thumb is a week to 2 weeks. It has never failed me.
The dates haven't always turned into relationships, but if the worst thing I can say about the guys I've met since starting on internet dating is that the guys I've met weren't interested in me or I wasn't interested in them or things just didn't work out in spite of being interested.. then I'm doing really good. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:12:30 PM | | I made the mistake of giving my number out to a guy from online and his girlfriend found my number, found out where I lived and sat in my driveway with the guy in the car blasting the horn till I came out. after that I will never give out my number. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:23:33 PM | | I know I will email on here a couple times before I give out my email address. If they can't email me at my email address, that throws up a red flag. I don't really email that long with someone, but I think I do long enough to know if I am comfortable giving out my phone number. I don't like to have tons of phone conversations before I go out with someone either. I think each step is a check and balance. Of course the meeting is the real test of connection. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:28:19 PM | superdrew wrote:
[It's nice to develop a rapport with someone first, that's what the chatting is for. It doesn't have to be months, but a little bit of back and forth makes the first meeting that much more relaxed, since you already know the person a little.]
This is a "Dating Site", not a "Rapport and Counseling Site" like AlAnom. It is healthy for people who are interested in each other to go ahead and meet in person. This will allow to bring down any false expectations a long and unhealthy email and IM communication might have. Again, I don't think it is chat now and meet tonight thing. But at least plan for a meeting within the first two weeks of communicating!  | |
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gvnage
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Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 48 | |
| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:00:54 PM | | Oh funny Op, I just posted a thread on the opposite side of this coin about the same time as you. My ? was about cutting to that chase after not really eming very long. I'm glad to hear how everyone feels about the issue. I think its an important one. My preference to respond to what you propose here, would be to first have a fairly enlightened ( if limited obviously) understanding of someone through POF before I give out my email and phone, or, take them up on theirs. That way it is also something to look forward to-the first call. I would want the call at a good time for both of us, but really, I prefer to be the callee than the caller, which also means I would like to feel that I know someone well enough to give HIM my number. | |
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| Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:03:49 PM | i love the fact that this post was started by a woman.
Ive often been frustrated and usually I will just give up if a woman says she needs more than a few weeks of online chatting before meet.
If she has such a problem with even meeting, the rest of the relationship would more likely be a nightmare. | |
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