| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:30:13 AM |
I have found that men still do abide by them............women who have sex on a first date are sluts and men are studs............not fair.
Do yourself a favor and don't date anybody who thinks this should be true. Some of us realize that what's held for women should also be held for men (and visa versa).
Personally, I think anybody, male or female, that f*cks on the first date is toeing the "slut" line   | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:47:41 AM |
Women have a very fragile value that is based on their vaginal history.
My theory is that men and women are the keys and locks of love. The man is to find the lock his key will turn, so he is obliged to insert himself into every woman he can, looking for the one he matches. The woman's job is to keep her tumblers lubricated. The woman can tell from a distance if the man will even have the right sort of shape to get in, because the male characteristic is external. The man only sees a squiggly opening and won't know until he gets in there and tries. What happens if the lock is already turned or if the key gets broken off in it? Or if the lock is stuck, or the key is lost? In winter locks can freeze up. Keys can become bent, or worn down. What if the lock is picked or if the man is a locksmith or if the woman is so worn that any key at all will do the trick? Sometimes the lock has been removed and there is just a big hole where it used to be, and the man just kneels down and peeks through. Other times there is a big key ring and much fumbling to find the right one, while the phone is ringing. Locks can be changed; keys can be duplicated.
Excuse me ~ what? This rant reminds me of my mother's response when I asked her about periods in the 5th grade. She gave me a story about a chicken and an egg, leaving me more confused than before I'd asked. This post makes about as much sense.
Personally, if a mantart tried to have sex with me on the first date, there would be no second date. I'm not interested in men who put their libido before all else, including getting to know me and showing interest in me beyond my anatomy. I do believe the double standard is alive and well and I think it's wrong. I lose respect for men who are promiscuous or in a rush to do the horizontal bop. I respect men who respect themselves, just as I respect women who respect themselves. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:02:36 AM |
If a female has sex with you on a first date........... do you run for the hills
Only if she were truly a terrible bed experience, and I didn't see any chance for improvement. See: 'coyote'; someone you'd chew your leg off to avoid waking up with.
I still don't know where the '3rd date rule' came from, nor do I follow it.
I only had one 'first date' sexual episode, and saw her a few times more until I found out she was married. Then, no more. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:20:20 AM | If you have sex on the first date then what is going to be special about the 2nd date?
Getting to know someone when it is right the intimacy will be there. It may not even be on the 3rd or 4th date. What 3 strikes your out? No, Intimacy is simply that, intimacy, and how can one be really intimate with someone they really just met?
Personally, if a man is looking for sex the first date he wasnt worth my time. Those are the type who most likely will not be there for the 2nd. (basically they did not want you, as much as they just wanted sex and you were the free piece.)
(if they want Mc Donalds, something quick, fast, and easy, there is the red light district, or ex wife...j.k..)
If you are not going to possibly see them again then how do you know they are not going to give you something you do not want, did not know about, and or will have for the rest of your life? Why wait? Why not?!?
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:45:12 AM |
If a female has sex with you on a first date........... do you run for the hills the next day or do you think great I like this female I'll stick around.
I stick around.
I don't hold it against any woman if she has sex with me on a first date. I had a long term with somebody after first date sex.
I will hold it against a woman if she takes her time to be intimate. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:46:17 AM | It all depends on the guy really. Personally, I could care less how many guy's a girl has been with, as long as she is std free.
Perhaps thats just because I spent a lot of time in Europe, but so be it. Time to grow up people, sex is normal. For some reason, in the US people fail to get past the 5th grade regarding male/female relationships.
(She slept with FIVE guys? OMG she MUST have coodies!!!) | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:01:22 AM | [Sex from an ugly woman is like finding cheap cubic zirconiums. It's got some value but finding a replacement isn't going to be that hard. You can lose one of those for good and not be too miserable for too long.]
[Sex is a commodity always, it's always valuable, but it's value is often relative to the situation presented.]
This is too funny I had to stop myself and read twice, Christie Brinkley got cheated on, Shania Twain got cheated on, the thing is most men are so low class that they couldn't tell their own ***hole from their mouth, let alone tell the difference between cubic zirconium and a diamond. Congratulations on winning this distinction.
Do I dispute that you have to be with someone you find attractive? No, but I do dispute that being beautiful keeps any man, a semi attractive woman who kept a man laughing and glowing through the whole freaking date will get the phone call. A bombshell who couldn't get a joke and sat looking pretty can give it up and the guy will move on with no qualms.
Please don't compare external beauty to diamond, after all people in Africa work so hard to dig up diamonds that we have to make a good comparison, we should see that what is on the inside is the real diamond that we dig for and it's hard as hell to find no matter how beautiful the exterior is. So angry I didn't proofread the first time | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:06:01 AM | | A woman who takes what she wants is sexy and as a mature man I am the last one to offer a double standard. But I do think a man and woman should get to know each other before having sex if a long term relationship is what they are seeking. On the other hand, if it's pure sex that's the agenda, go for it. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:08:03 AM | | OP...the answer to your question is simple...if she is attractive to me then I would stay with here...if she isn't then I wouldn't. It doesn't matter if she had sex with me the first date or not although I do have my limits. I don't judge it by when we had sex, only how she appeals to me physically & emotionally. I think most guys are the same way even if they won't admit it. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:39:27 AM | You haven't quite grasped the concept yet. Sex is pleasurable, and if someone is receiving it then there is a greater likelihood of them going back for more 
This nonsense a out women being seen as sluts and men as studs is so 1980's college campus feminist protest baloney. Most adults usually stop believeing that nonsense at abot the time they stop saying "whatever" !!
When I see a promiscuous man called "sexually liberated" I'll believe in equality ! | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:57:45 AM | I personally have no rules that way.
Obviously if a women puts out right away, I know I'm not Brad Pitt so I know she does with other guys who turn her on as well initialy, but don't men REALLY want a woman who enjoys sex if they're honest with themselves?
I however could care less if I'm into a woman, I'll keep her and court her like a bulldog if and until I no longer have an interest no matter when we first or if we ever had sex. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:59:06 AM | | Whether or not society as a whole considers that as a norm, one should do what is best for them whether it goes against the grain or not. If enough people go against the grain, then it's not a societal norm anymore, right? | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:39:39 AM | I have had sex with women the first night I met them. I mean, how can they resist me? lol.....And I would never look down on them for that. That would be insulting myself.
Perhaps, those guys are insecure.
The shame thing is something people give life to. Nobody can shame me, except if I believe my worth is based on their judgement.
I think some people from both genders like to try and shame the other as some form of control. What is really sad, is how often it works. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:45:31 AM | Every good man knows there are women you party with and women you bring home to mother. And the smart males form lasting relationships with the ones you bring home to mother, even if they find themselves more attractive to the women you party with.
It comes down to morales, if a women sleeps around a lot, there are good odds she will continue that behavior in an lasting relationships, and the risk is not worth the pain especially if you have something to loose as in wealth.
The difference between men and women, is that the males with spot the female players (ie whores) and just party with them, while the females chase the male players (ie whores) and want to marry them and think they can be changed.
The double standard exists, because women are willing to reward the male players, and as long as they are willing to do so, there is not reason for men to change. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:52:44 AM |
Every good man knows there are women you party with and women you bring home to mother. And the smart males form lasting relationships with the ones you bring home to mother, even if they find themselves more attractive to the women you party with.
lol....Hey Norman Bates, is that you? | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:46:49 PM |
OT: I am so fricken' tired of "rules".....
Well said 'laughinglibra' - but so many people are either afraid of or simply to lazy to think for themselves. And of course there's safety in numbers - can anyone say "baaaaaaaa!" :)
It's an interesting question, and boils down yet again to the women and men are equal but not the same issue. Go and read any number of the threads about 'who pays for the date...' etc. there's bound to be a new one starting up soon. So, OP, do you want to be equal, or the same? Do you want to keep your 'womanly privilages' on the one hand, but be able to act like a man on the other? Do you want your cake and eat it? Can you really expect to be treated like a 'lady' if you don't act like one?
This issue of 'slut' (woman who sleeps around/on first date - not my desription) vs 'stud' (guy who does the same) I think all boils down to RISK. Historically, women were always the one's left holding the baby. Plus in the past virginity, or at least some reputation for chastity, was a valuable commodity - often insisted on before marriage could take place. So all this stuff is still hanging round, even though it's from an ancient, sexist, male-dominated time - just like the concept of 'chivalry' and the guy making decisions and paying for everthing, and being a 'real man'. In past times, women always had a LOT more at risk in having sex.
But now the risk equation is different and, I believe, much more balanced. Now we have AIDS, now we guys don't insist on virginity before marriage, and now we have CHILD-SUPPORT! There are a lot of threads with men complaining about us getting the short end of the stick these days when relationships break down. These days guys can't just walk away and leave the women holding the baby. That's got to be a good thing - it is in my book.
So, now it's about shared responsibility and a man's got a LOT to lose from unprotected, impulsive, thinking-with-his-little-head, hang the consequences sex. So now men can't just abdicate responsibility and leave it to the woman to be the gatekeepers of sex, the one's saying no. That is at least not the guys thinking beyond the next 5 minutes! Of course there have always been impulsive risk-takers, both male and female, and there always will be; jails are full of them. I expect men are less risk-averse than women, on average, so this is another dynamic at work in this issue.
Back to the OP; personally speaking these days I generally don't think particularly highly of anyone (man or woman) getting jiggy on a first date, and certainly won't be doing it myself.
I don't think this 'rule' will go away, though it may become less gender-biased over time. However it will probably be around in its original form for as long as a significant number of women want to be treated differently but the same - thus proving that you really can't have your cake and eat it. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:28:26 PM | Really depends on all the other variables.
If you seem like you jump from man to man without pausing chances are that I won't sleep with you at all.
If, however, there is that electric chemistry that two people can sometimes have... well why drive each other up a wall?
John | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:09:21 PM | if there is an attitude or scarlet letter branded on her for her treachery -its not done by the village, but the women in her circle,
-usually angry cuz she slept with all their boyfriends... | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:11:20 PM |
So now men can't just abdicate responsibility and leave it to the woman to be the gatekeepers of sex, the one's saying no. THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! That's exactly it.
women want to be treated differently but the same I actually dislike the expectations some have to "act in a traditional manner," but, when a guy wants to do that also, shouldn't the couple be allowed to make that decision? Basically, I think it's a matter of matching each other. I don't expect the guy to pay and I put equally into a relationship both effort-wise and financially. Individuals though all have different talents, and I think when people can work around and accept each other's talents without this idea of whether it's a male or female talent, they would be able to get along better. There were some guys where my repair and fix-it skills were higher than theirs and some where my skills in that area were much lower. Some guys just blow me away when it comes to general housekeeping. In each case, we came to compromises about who was going to do what and when, rather than digging our heels in and saying that's a man's or woman's job.
Anyway, my point is that there are many of us who are pulling our equal weight that are unseen as the ones who don't get the focus. There are men who see those women as being preferable claiming I and others act too masculine at times. Those women would be a better match for those men. For the ones that don't like those women, then they need to be passed by rather than butting heads.
Now, if you are talking about something more legal rather than just dating and how we interact, then the argument becomes a bit different. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:51:43 PM | | generally speaking if it happens it happens, it doesn't have a huge effect on whether or not things go further. I know once I went to country bar (not my scene) for a friend's birthday and ended up meeting a gorgeous girl and chatting for a couple hours, first about our mutual distaste for all things "down home" and then on to other topics. She ended up coming with us when we all left and we slept together that night. Later that week i called her, to be honest I was hoping to hook up again, but we grabbed some dinner and had a good conversation before hand and pretty soon I found my self wanting to spend more and more time together. In the end we broke it off after about a year, but I think this is one example of sex on the first date turning into a real and meaningful relationship. Like all things in love, there is no hard and true formula for "making it work" you just have to do what feels right and hope that your partner reciprocates. If you sleep with someone and they never call you again it probably means either A) the sex was bad, B) they weren't that attracted to you in the first place and just wanted to get laid, or C) they are in another relationship and feel too guilty to call you or worried that they will come to like you more than their partner and don't want to deal with such an awkward situation. You can't let these possibilities scare you off from doing what feels right, if they don't call you then you call them, if they don't respond then let it go, nobody wants to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:55:45 PM | | well me personally find anything acceptable if me and the person slept with on the first date or not all i would want is not to have a one night stand i like to at least sleep with someone a few times. | |
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| One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:39:46 PM |
If you have sex on the first date then what is going to be special about the 2nd date?
I missed something here. When did sex only become special the first time? If that was the case, none of us would hang around past the first time. There would be nothing special about. Methinks is not doing it right if it's only special one time.  | |
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