| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:40:20 PM | i had a horror story happen to me just recently.
I saw a profile which had a lady dressed rather nicely in one photo, a howling wolf with the background of the moon in another photo without her in it, an angelic female personage in white wedding array with a red flower in the crotch area for contrast walking down a stairway from heaven in a blue velvet like scene and a sunset art shot of two people standing up kissing each other in sillouhette. Only one of the three pictures was of a real person; the others were what I just described. In her profile she says she is normal and looking for her true love and no weird people should apply. I thought there was a contrast here between what she said and what she portrayed in her photo/pictures and I pointed out the complexity there of the contrast. She then sent me two separate emails calling me a hateful person and I must be a drunk on drugs and I was blocked by her so I could not appologize for the misunderstanding. This was a true flake and she is still out there. be careful fellas.......she roams at night and senses fear. ..... | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:39:16 PM | A reply should not be rude. However, a bad picture is a bad picture. I have had several people online comment about photos I've taken of various action figurines in my collection and they all commented on the fact that some stuffed Care Bears and toys were on some shelves behind me. I don't like it when people deter from what is supposed to be the focus of the photo. Even if it's good comments, it was not the toilet she was aiming for the guys/girls/whatever she prefers to be looking at. And toilets are cool. We would be nowhere without them. Just think of all the countries that don't have good toilets. I wouldn't find something like that funny. Sometimes people have just had a bad day, or experienced a rejection. As you only know them online, there could be several things they have not told the online community. Their pet cat may have died that day, and your toilet comment would have been the last straw for them perhaps.
What I think is way ruder, is people that just sit there, read your message, and pretend you didn't send it and do not reply. It's very rude, especially when I know that the time frame is so large there is no possible way they could not be reading it unless their computer crashed or they have an internet or power outage going on.
This site mismatches me too. I think it's rude of the admins to ignore the fact I said A. I will NOT date a smoker and B. I have NO desire to have children.
And their label of "does not pay attention to detail" is so off. I worked at a Juvenile Detention Center filling out forms for them and I rarely had any mistakes.
Though seriously, some types of humor can be seen as rude. Watch what you say to people. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:18:01 PM | "Though seriously, some types of humor can be seen as rude. Watch what you say to people"
Well, the problem is this...no matter what you say, as simple as Hello someone someplace is going to have a problem with it. I have read profiles that state "guys if you want me to write you back you better write more than one line". So I guess a simple "hello how are you?" wouldn't work for her.
But no I am not going to change who I am or the fact I see humor in some supposedly hot lady standing next to an open toilet and make a joke about how at least I can put the lid down I have been well trained. It is what makes me what I am. I am funny, I can make you laugh and if I don't...well go screw off...LOL
I used to love Dennis Miller and I knew many people that hated him. So be it, not everyone finds everyone appealing.
But I will end this with one true statistic....
33% of the the people you meet will like you  33% of the people you meet will not like you no matter what  34% of the people you meet will not like or dislike you  We spend most of out time and energy trying to get the 33% that don't like us to like us and its a total waste of time  When we should spend some same time and energy on the 34% that are indifferent  and spent a majority of our time with the 33% that do like us  | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:41:10 AM | LOL Big,
I consider your email a courtesy. She probably would have fell in. I think what annoyed her was that you noticed the toilet seat up, but didn't see the stunning smile or hair or overall physic(sp)....I give you credit for paying attention to detail. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:39:05 PM |
I have read profiles that state "guys if you want me to write you back you better write more than one line".
First of all, this profile evokes and instant "lol whatever" feeling for me. I'm up for a challenge, but I'll go ahead and let the other guys waste their time feeding this one's ego. I'm looking for someone a little more... centered.
I always answer the first contact message. If it says, "thanks and good luck to you", it should be enough. If I'm the one initiating, I think the "read/deleted" rejection is sufficient. Since the female to male email ratio is like 12,000:1 - I understand... I didn't do a good enough job describing how perfect I am. My bad.
K2C | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:02:49 PM | | Keep in mind that while one or two lines may be an opening in a face to face situation which allows a person the opportunity to see that you are open to communication, this venue is quite different. One or two lines on an email tell you virtually nothing about a person. You do not have the nonverbal communication associated with someone you see in person. I have had emails where guys literally did a cut and paste of their profile. The unspoken message I get from that is, "I really do not have time to put some thought into my approach to you." My response to that is, "Well, if you do not have the time to think about your approach, then I do not have the time to respond either." All these are barriers, that in essence, keep people from meeting eachother, which is something that a lot of folks on this site complain about and ask WHY? Add that to all the other barriers, smoking, alcohol consumption, children, distance, hygiene, etc., etc. and you have people that never meet. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:13:45 PM | Even if all I write is, "HAI UR HAWT!", she is then 1 click away from looking at my profile, which I have taken the time to write in a way that should give a pretty good impression of who I am. USUALLY she does. At that point we're even, right? She will reply or delete, probably based on my photo.
That being said, at the very least I will at least make a comment or attempt at humor showing that I've actually read the profile. I might have even been the type to comment on the toilet seat. If I miss the mark with my humor now, surely a date would be a painful thing.
I've never gotten a rude response. I've only had one polite "no thanks." Read/delete is the rejection of choice here. So be it. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:23:31 PM | | Humor in person with the smile, twinkle of the eye, and expression in the voice is very different than an attempt at humor in this type of venue. Maybe your attempt at humor is not recognized as such even going so far as coming off an insulting. What if she deletes based on a failed attempt at humor, rather than on your assumption that it is based on your photo? I guess a lot of people do not understand that communicating by email and or IM is vastly different that communication in person. Most people's writing skills are less than adequate in most situations and with the added "UR"s, and "LOLs", etc., it is worse here. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:47:20 AM | Welcome to the World of Online Dating. :)
It's full of those with Passive Aggressive tendencies who are frustrated at the lack of finding what they feel they "deserve" and will respond without consideration to the possible humor or entertainment value of the initial email.
I can be sarcastic and appreciate the back and forth with someone who feels the same way, but have found that it's difficult to start things off that way online. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:47:13 PM |
I was wondering how rude do some people's replies to your emails get?
Wow, I guess I have been lucky. I have never really received rude responses to emails. I don't think it is ever ok to send rude responses to someone. We get from the world what we put out....I don't respond rudely to emails even if I am not attracted to someone who is emailing me. I will politely thank them for contacting me and wish them well in their fishing and they generally move on to the next bright shiny object...
But what do you do, say something, pass??
I wouldn't even waste my time responding to someone who is being rude to me. They are obviously not worth it if they are going to be childishly rude!
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:27:37 PM | | Oh they can get pretty rude, and really why bother. Its not like you sharpening your stick of wit/sarcasm/angst or venom is going to win her over. Let it slide, block, delete, move on. Life is too f'n short. The best revenge is living well, it starts by ignoring all that doesnt promote that end. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:26:43 PM | My opinion?
Even when I feel someone is being rude to me in an email, I do everything I can to not be rude back.
I am not a rude person by nature, so why should I stoop to their level?
There really is no reason for a rude reply. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:41:30 AM |
I was wondering how rude do some people's replies to your emails get?
I get this: "NO sh*tSHERLOCK!!!...
But what do you do, say something, pass??
Pass, don't even give it another thought! Tit-for-tat online flame fests are the BIGGEST waste of time there is! Block her and move on. | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 5/15/2009 1:56:13 PM | | Maybe easy going to her means, "I won't try to kill you the first time you message me." | |
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| How Rude Should A Reply Be?
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:24:37 PM | I would pass...why waste your time with someone that rude, crude and self centered...no matter what you say to her it won't phase her because she obviously believed that her shet don't stink. Why sink to her low level by responding? Be the better person and walk away! 
Just my .02 | |
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