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 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 51
Phone SexPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
yeah, what's up with the whole phone sex thing?

why would a guy prefer phone sex over the real thing?

what makes men do this?

imo, if you aren't my bf, if we aren't in a committed relationship, then NO to the phone sex. that is soooo fricken rude! the guy is obviously too cheap to pay for phone sex, so he has to try to dupe some woman into going along with it. ugh! what a creep!
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 52
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/16/2011 11:40:05 PM
I agree. with post above. Why phone sex when the real thing is right there. I find this very odd. And im shocked its phone sex. Its the year 2011, most cell phones now have forward facing camera's. WHy not video phone sex?
 JWS1974
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 53
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:15:36 AM
I have tried phone sex. It was very uncomfortable for me. My penis is about 2 times the size of the hole for the power plug, so it didn't quite fit. Maybe I just need to wait till the right phone comes along.
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 54
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:38:17 AM
Try the EVO 3D or Motorola Photon
 boredintheboonies
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 55
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/17/2011 6:10:37 AM
He is doing it because he is getting what he wants. Why wouldn't he continue to call you up if you are going to accomodate him? If this is upsetting you, stop it.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 56
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/18/2011 8:21:05 PM
boredintheboonies~

but whey would a guy prefer phone sex to the real thing? i mean, what is the psychology behind this? I am truly fascinated by this aberrant proclivity.
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/18/2011 8:41:55 PM
Phone sex can be exciting, however, both persons have to be willing and equal participants.
 agentxxx
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/25/2011 3:48:27 PM
i enjoy phone sex,and i like to please her in a lot of ways,get back to me

thanks
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 59
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History
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:42:56 AM

yeah, what's up with the whole phone sex thing?

why would a guy prefer phone sex over the real thing?

what makes men do this?


Broad brush your painting with there girl.

I can tell you I have found a bunch of women who only want to have phone sex, cyber sex, cam sex...then want to meet.

There are a helluva lot of them, that just want to get off with their vibs, dildos, fingers..as you watch, talk to them, type to them. Never in person..just through the safety of the the computer, video cam, telephone.

Whatever floats their boat..just not for me.
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 60
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/26/2011 5:42:54 AM
If its not your bag...tell him...move on...Ive only encountered one woman who did that and by the end of the so-called conversation....I was on the floor laughing with the sounds of her moans and vibrator....In my oppinion...its a total waste but to each their own!...good luck!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 61
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:21:23 AM
but whey would a guy prefer phone sex to the real thing?

Well, I certainly wouldn't prefer it over the real thing and I really didn't know that a lot of people did it until I started dating here and found more than a few women weren't all that bashful about initiating that sort of conversation. I could ask the same question with regard to why a woman would prefer using a toy over going out and getting the real thing, yet most women would prefer using a toy over casual sex.

I mean, what is the psychology behind this?

I'm not sure what the psychology is, except perhaps it being the result of some increasingly steamy conversations while trying to get a meeting set up. I generally talked to women for a total of several hours before meeting them, which normally took a week or so to set up after first contacting them. Going from ``Hello'' to sexual innuendo, to teasing to having a woman push things a little further, wasn't all that unusual. It didn't happen with women I met only a few days after first contacting them.

I am truly fascinated by this aberrant proclivity.

I don't think it's aberrant any more than sex is aberrant. . I think it's more along the lines of a natural progression with someone you want to meet, but can't meet right right away because of the way internet dating works in getting from first contact to a personal meeting. Once it becomes real sex, the phone sex goes away. It's no more aberant than self-service.

what makes men do this?

Well, in my case, what made me do it was women.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 62
Phone Sex
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:48:07 AM

y would a guy prefer phone sex over the real thing?

what makes men do this?


Like Pingshooter says, it isn't just men who are motivated to harness the phones, or whatever other technology is out there, and ride them to orgasms.


imo, if you aren't my bf, if we aren't in a committed relationship, then NO to the phone sex. that is soooo fricken rude! the guy is obviously too cheap to pay for phone sex, so he has to try to dupe some woman into going along with it. ugh! what a creep!


Well, I've been "duped" by a "creepy" woman, once, a Chicago lady, kinda in your Skokie neighborhood (hey, isn't that where the Nazis like to march?). She was awfully cute, from what I could see from her profile, and just brimming with sexual appetites and wants and wonts, all of which, for this man, approaches Irresistible. As for the somewhat creative application of technology to satiate an appetite for sex, well, I thought it was kinda creative, certainly novel, for me, and a fine irony, as most of the cutting edge electronics, under the communications banner, "bringing people closer together", actually work to keep us all in our own little cublicles, way "above" the exchange of bodily fluids.
I kinda struggled, despite my best efforts to "git 'er done", lol, but she seemed to be flying high! lol Maybe it's a learned skill.

"Abberrant proclivities'? L0l. According to the Alpha Dictionary, a proclivity is a "natural innate preference", or a "gentle inclination". I'm not usually outraged by an occasional "abberration" from the Norm, and a "deviant" can add some kickin' spice(s) to the soup de jour. And I try not to bash others for their natural preferences.
But, yeah, why just flog the "men" for this particular Sin? There are reportedly lots of Eves out there tempting/tricking us male dupes into this techno-sex stuff. Lol
 sashazee
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 63
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 8:25:47 AM
I believe that two adults that are both comfortable with any adult activity is acceptable. The key is being true to yourself and be sure the activity is something you would freely wish to engage in. You must also be aware that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions, whatever they may be. Phone sex could turn out to be the beginning of something more substantial---or the end.
 jonxmc
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 64
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:36:21 PM
Never understood this kink really. The others make sense to me but when there's no actual physical contact it doesn't make sense. I figured phone sex was for people with ugly faces and great voices...bad joke

...on a side note I have a really deep voice so I get a lot of weird requests. Maybe my opinion's just a little biased.
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 65
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:37:35 PM
Weeelll...if your not happy then either move on orrrr.....tell him....posed to be grown-ups.....and no way would I even consider doin dumb stuff like that!.....best part of grinding is the spoonin after...weeeehoooo...good luck girl!
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 66
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History
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:13:32 PM
I've never heard of a guy saying they don't want a relationship until their child is older. It might happen, I suppose, but it sounds like an excuse to me. What he wants is to have you on the 'phone while he pleasures himself, that's all. It isn't fair, unless that's what you want too. If you don't want it, then he's using you. You can stop him: just say you're not interested in being a sex-line chat girl and put the 'phone down on him. It's really easy to get rid of someone like that. There are tons of these guys. They can't get a woman, or one that will put up with them for long, so they just use whoever is handy for whatever they can get. I suspect you are feeling quite involved with him as you've clearly been trying to maintain a relationship but a different one from the one you've actually ended up with. I'm sure you'll feel more self-respect if you 'dump' him. You know he's just being selfish here. Is that the kind of guy you want?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 67
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:51:03 PM
whywater~

"There are reportedly lots of Eves out there tempting/tricking us male dupes into this techno-sex stuff. Lol"

uh, we're talking about a guy that just wants phone sex but no physical intimacy. if two people are clear that that is all it is (in this case it was NOT) and that there is not going to be anything more, then more power to 'em. who cares? no one is being misled.

In address to your off topic comments.....

skokie probably has the largest jewish population in the u.s.. yes, the illinois nazi party once sued for the right to march there. they decided in the end that it probably wasn't a good idea to do so. fyi, your comment about skokie and the nazis might be construed as being in bad taste. i suppose you brought this up because this is my local?

fyi... there are two types of definitions. there is the connotative and the denotative, so a dictionary definition (denotative) is going to have an incomplete definition at times. also, the word proclivity was qualified and modified by the word aberrant, i.e., used as an adjective. the word aberrant basically means twisted. i hope that clears up this word pairing.

in the future, please remain on topic if you are going to respond to my comments in the forums. also, i would appreciate it if you refrained from personal attacks/slights.
 No_Fancy_Name
Joined: 11/18/2009
Msg: 68
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Phone Sex
Posted: 9/20/2011 7:15:09 PM
1) Where a person lives, or does not live shouldn't be up for discussion - it's just wrong.
2) Why do some men do these things, for many reasons:

It's taboo, if sticking your finger in a light socket tomorrow became an illegal act, there are those among us that would do it just to fly in the face of the authorities, never mind the fact that it causes injury, pain and possible death, they'd do it just because.

Some people are truly perverts, it is part of the fringe of the bell curve. They can't "get off" with the touch of another human, so they find "other" ways to get off. I am not making any judgments here, I am merely stating that these people do exist.

Some people have no people skills, they are terribly afraid of the opposite sex. There could be many reasons for this, multiply rejections, having low-self esteem, whatever.

Some people have mental issues where they are truly incapable of having an orgasm through the "normal" accepted means, thus they have to go the deviant route.

The real reason probably lies somewhere amongst what I have proposed above, plus all of the possibilities that I couldn't even think of. I will go on record as saying that I prefer the gentle touch and smell of a woman as opposed to a LCD screen. Whatever you do, stay safe and happy.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 69
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Phone Sex
Posted: 9/21/2011 5:41:46 AM
This allows you to quote a previous post.

Message: I believe that two adults that are both comfortable with any adult activity is acceptable. The key is being true to yourself and be sure the activity is something you would freely wish to engage in. You must also be aware that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions, whatever they may be. Phone sex could turn out to be the beginning of something more substantial---or the end.

Dead right Sash.

No one has the right in today's so called enlightened society to say what is acceptable sexually or not between two consenting adults. Nowadays we fully accept consensual sex between people of the same sex, children born outside marriage and to single parents are no longer looked down upon or ostracised. Its no big deal if someone admits to having engaged in group sex or bdsm. We have moved on, we have evolved.

The tag pervert does not belong on someone who engages in phone sex ? There could be any number of reasons why someone gets relief in such a way. Is a soldier who has ''phone sex'' with his wife several thousand miles away a pervert? Is the disabled person who can no longer physically have sex a pervert for getting release that way? And yes OK what about those who strike up relationships on line, they may be to far away to meet, nor want to, who has the right to decide that by engaging in phone sex it is somehow perverted.

There are enough cases where people have met online and even lived in different countries, they have exchanged pics even seen each other on cam in a respectable way. They make arrangements to see each other but it takes some time so they take it to another level IE phone intimacy. Is it really THAT wrong ?

There is nothing wrong with sexual fulfillment at any level providing as I said its consensual. As intimacy usually involves two people if one isn't happy then they always have the option to either talk about it or end it..
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 70
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/21/2011 8:26:02 AM
its all one way selfish do not have relationship with this guy/charge him lol
 justanotherfish2u
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 71
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/21/2011 11:09:55 AM
Give yourself permission to not care why he is doing it! If you find it entertaining and want to continue go ahead and enjoy. If it isn't working for you on any level stop immediately!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 72
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/25/2011 11:27:01 AM
pete2205~

"No one has the right in today's so called enlightened society to say what is acceptable sexually or not between two consenting adults."

are you sure about that? so, would it be acceptable if two consenting adults decided it would be hot if one of them killed the other after they were done having sex, or in the act, etc.? should society condone such an act? is bestiality acceptable between consenting adults? would you be disgusted to learn that your nice new neighbors engaged in copraphagia (eating feces) during sex? would you say, "to each his own," or would you be sort of disgusted by the prospect? i mean, the marque de sade wrote about this sort of practice.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 73
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Phone Sex
Posted: 9/25/2011 12:25:36 PM
Come on larissan lets have some rationality!! Of course murdering someone during the course of having sex isn't acceptable IE Snuff sex. Nor do I personally accept bestiality ( I thought that was between a human and an animal not two adults but I guess if you regard your partner as an animal then bestiality is an appropriate tag) is sexually acceptable - Legally its not acceptable anyway so social or moral argument is irrelevant. Neither is pedophilia (Which was practiced and considered normal along with incest in ancient Greece )I do think you are stretching ''acceptance'' to an extreme.

Having said that it is not my business what my neighbours get up sexually and unless they operate a brothel and my daughters are propositioned on a regular basis, unless they indulge in group sex out in the garden where they can be seen then, Unless they are having sex with my dog or engaged in Pedophilia or ''Grooming'' they can do what they like!! Its their business.

"No one has the right in today's so called enlightened society to say what is acceptable sexually or not between two consenting adults."

I stand by that. Yes if my neighbours enjoy coprophagia or ''Waterworks'' Anal sex, extreme BDSM or threesomes with a consenting adult or wife swapping - Its up to them!!! It has no impact on my life, it clearly enhances theirs so great its not an issue!!

We were talking about phone sex...If two consenting adults are separated either due to work reasons or because they live so far apart that regular meetings are not possible what is your problem with them arousing each other on the phone, engaging in explicit talk, describing their feelings and what they would like to do to each other? What is your problem if as a result of them talking they actually engage in mutual masturbation ? Is it affecting you? Course not. Is it offensive? Only to you.

We live in a world where there is a full spectrum of legality. In some countries its acceptable to force a marriage and sex on a 12 year old - With the husband sometimes being old enough to be the girls grandfather. In the same system you would executed for adultery or having a homosexual relationship.

I do think Larissan you have taken my view on phone sex a little out of context...You don't like the idea nor can you understand the need or desire for phone sex. That's fine its your right as a person to decide what is acceptable to YOU!
Personally the only time I believe phone or cyber sex becomes a problem is when it is practiced and deceives your partner and done as a preference to physical sex. When that happens then there are issues that need to be looked at.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 74
Phone Sex
Posted: 9/25/2011 1:09:32 PM
Pete

"No one has the right in today's so called enlightened society to say what is acceptable sexually or not between two consenting adults."

i think you are caught up in some sort post-modern relativism. as i mentioned earlier, there are sexual practices that i am sure you would find offensive, even if conducted between two consenting adults, i.e., copraphagia. so in essence this claim is not valid.

"I do think Larissan you have taken my view on phone sex a little out of context...You don't like the idea nor can you understand the need or desire for phone sex. That's fine its your right as a person to decide what is acceptable to YOU!"

um, where you got the idea that i don't enjoy phone sex i do not know. i never stated whether i liked it or not. my original question was why someone would prefer it to physical sex with another person, which i ascertained to be evidence of some sort of sexual hang ups or deep rooted pathology. i.e., that the person is incapable of engaging in an actual physical relationship with another person.

"Personally the only time I believe phone or cyber sex becomes a problem is when it is practiced and deceives your partner and done as a preference to physical sex. When that happens then there are issues that need to be looked at."

i agree with this statement...but would qualify it by mentioning that sexual behavior that interferes significantly with one's work, interpersonal relationships, etc.. are also problematic and may be evidence of sexual addiction...
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 75
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Phone Sex
Posted: 9/25/2011 11:17:17 PM
Hi larissan

''i think you are caught up in some sort post-modern relativism. as i mentioned earlier, there are sexual practices that i am sure you would find offensive, even if conducted between two consenting adults, i.e., coprophagia. so in essence this claim is not valid. ''

I again stand by that statement. Of course there are sexual practices and behaviour that I find offensive and would not indulge in. But,I am not caught up in, influenced by or been corrupted by either the social environment I have grown up in.
It does not matter if you or I find what our neighbours or friends do ''Behind closed doors'' offensive or distasteful I have already explained why I think my reasons are very valid. There is no such thing as a sexual ''Norm'' What one may find acceptable the next person may find abhorrent.
If my friend or neighbour was to approach me and ask me to become involved in or engage in an act or practice I either didn't like, found offensive or was, in my opinion, wrong morally, illegally or both then I can always say ''No''. I can choose to either leave it at that or elaborate on my reasons.
My Ex wife's answer when I suggested we try anal sex was ''If you want that, go find a bloke'' But then anal was actually initiated by my next partner. It was something she not only liked but wanted as part of a sexually fulfilling relationship
To coin a well worn cliche ''Different strokes for different folks'' My Ex had every right to her views, opinions and to decide what she felt comfortable with.

If you read both our posts on this subject I think you will find that in essence we share the same views. Phone sex or any other sexual practice becomes an issue when its used to substitute real intimacy. But, there are times when phone sex is the only practical outlet and sexual release. Even in a 'regular' relationship it can sometimes enhance it.
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