| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 11:56:06 AM | | I guess it totally depends on the priorities that you have set for yourself. you are saying u love her but cant L u s t her... Its all in your head man. Have you ever met someone like her in 'x' years of your life and do you foresee this happening in near future. If 'Yes' is the answer let her off or else she is the one. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:55:39 PM |
to me...absolutely. this is one of the main reasons i wanted out of my marriage. i did not find him physically attractive. shallow? maybe.
Not shallow at all.
Its not like we flipped a switch and make a conscious decision to be attracted or unattracted to certain looks, its the way we`re made.
For me, its number 1.
I wont ask a woman out unless I am attracted to her physically. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:59:23 PM | Physical attraction becomes less important as we spend more time with people. You could start out with the hottest woman in the universe, but over time her looks will become less important as your love for her grows.
If you already like her this much, I think you ought to stick with it ... after you have learned about each other physically, you may find yourself surprisingly in love. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 10:01:23 PM |
ok let me add this.... I know that I'm not perfect and I am not looking for someone that is perfect. I can and have excepted her for exactly who and what she is... I don't want her to change .... I just want to know if it is possible have a healthy long lasting relationship with her if I do not think she is a super-hot-sexiest-thing-I-ever-laid-my-eyes-on..... is it possible??? I want to be with her, we both make each other really happy... I just want to know if this relationship is doomed or not????
Whether it's possible or not is completely up to the two of you. However, I'd like you to ask yourself these questions:
1. How important is sex to me in a relationship?
2. How important is sex to her in a relationship?
3. Can I keep it up long enough to satisfy the both of us?
4. Could I be happy for the rest of my life, knowing what I know about how I feel?
If you can honestly answer those questions to yourself, you should have your answer. | |
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| The Little Prince
Posted: 10/28/2008 12:23:29 PM | "Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
"Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Translation: The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes, but with the heart. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:56:23 PM | I'VE DONE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, SO YOU JUST NEED TO MOVE ON AND LET HER AND YOURSELF FIND THE REAL ACTUAL ONE THAT IS PERFECT FOR YOU BOTH!
IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU OR HER IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS WHAT SO EVER...
SOMEONE WILL END UP GETTING HURT BUT LIKE THEY SAY,"LOVE IS A HURTING THING!" | |
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JesC17
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Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 235 | |
| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:24:00 PM | | It's funny that question is often asked..... It does matter whether you like it or not you see if the person in front of you is to your liking from day one. Its part of the human nature. However, How does it play a part when the person you met was good lookin then becomes less attractive? what are you left with? The answer is the person with in. And if Physical attraction is the only thing you saw in the other person well start looking!!!! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:47:35 PM | I'm not sure what you should do. Love and attraction should come naturally. If you enjoy being with her then wait and see if it will work out, if not then it won't and you can both say you enjoyed knowing eachother. Best of luck to you.
KAT | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:45:07 AM | | Ive found that even if Im not that physically attracted to someone, after spending time with them and really starting to care... I just all of a sudden saw them as attractive because of who they were. Maybe thats just me, good luck! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/10/2008 11:13:06 AM | | Hmm well lets take on here for an example, people have contacted me with no picture or with a picture and I've not bothered to look, yet we have talked and gotten on so well, that by the time I do look at their picture it really doesnt matter that much what looks back as I am already captivated by the personality and that is what keeps my interest. Of course, good looks and attraction make it all the more exciting, and if you are going to be with that person long term yes you do need to find them desirable but when looks fade and yes they do, the personality is what stays. | |
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rain48
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Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 239 | |
| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/10/2008 1:02:43 PM | i agree with u.i have just meet some one,and did not care what he looks like,it was his personality,the rest is falling into place.to me he is the sexiest man,i have meet. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:54:49 PM | | oh come on ladies and gentlemen lets get real !When a bunch of women are hanging out talking about men they are not saying " hey jennie look at at that guy doesnt he look stable with a good job and a nice personality"...NO I tell you they are making observations on his hottness or his cuteness that is all that matters to them get used to it. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:50:16 PM | To the person who wrote this and all who think this way.
oh come on ladies and gentlemen lets get real !When a bunch of women are hanging out talking about men they are not saying " hey jennie look at at that guy doesnt he look stable with a good job and a nice personality"...NO I tell you they are making observations on his hottness or his cuteness that is all that matters to them get used to it.
It is not all. Looks are nice to have but if the guy has nothing else he will not keep a woman past 72 hours unless she needs a guy toy for validation. I've dated men for looks. Models, Dancers, Pro-Athlets... very blood warming handsome. As soon as I noticed that they had no clue how to hold a conversation. I left them and felt puzzled as to why I spent time/energy on them. Now the stable guy with a good job who can make us laugh are the keepers. they are the guys you fall in love with. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:02:05 PM | | I so want to believe you vvendy but everything I see and here tells me the opposite is true it doesnt matter about humour or personality or stabilty with women because without above average looks you wont be given a chance to show these other attributes and no woman will even stay with a below average looking guy unless he has a huge member or is extraordinarily wealthy[in that case she will just cheat on him with the good looking guy] I get rejected 99 times out of100 on the approach with women based on nothing more than the fact that I am not good looking it does not matter how I am dressed, what I am driving or what I say its just the way it is, all women care about is a guys looks its been proven a thousand times with a thousand scientific research studies to back it up looks override everything with women! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:30:26 PM |
It is not all. Looks are nice to have but if the guy has nothing else he will not keep a woman past 72 hours unless she needs a guy toy for validation. I've dated men for looks. Models, Dancers, Pro-Athlets... very blood warming handsome. As soon as I noticed that they had no clue how to hold a conversation. I left them and felt puzzled as to why I spent time/energy on them. Now the stable guy with a good job who can make us laugh are the keepers. they are the guys you fall in love with.
I find that hard to believe, seeing a person's physically attractiveness is the 1st impression. I admit, most of the time I don't talk to a girl because somehow I can read minds and think that she's got a great personality, I talk to her because she's physically appealing to me. You even said it yourself, you dated guys for looks and only realize afterwards that they weren't all that. Even now, you or anybody including myself probably wouldn't even bother with a charming guy/girl with a good personality if he/she is not at least somewhat attractive. The unattractive guys will have to get around that physical 1st impression with their charm just to get a chance to prove that they're good guys, and maybe the girl will think their personality makes up for their unattractiveness to a degree. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/16/2008 12:24:50 PM | apparantly it does...because i have been told by many that i'm very good looking...but the men i come into contact with want skinny little aneroxic looking barbie dolls with big boobs and no brains.
just my opinion | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:23:49 PM | @heavyiron,
I don't agree with you; I've dated men who were very good looking, and men who weren't - though admittedly I have never been attracted to an obese man. How someone has looked has been less important to me than how we've interacted, and I've also found that the more I get to know someone, the better looking they become.
I don't know why you've not had luck in your search, but from your pictures I'd consider you an attractive man-been admiring you for a few weeks now. I do notice that your profile has a negative tone to it, and you seem also rather negative in the various posts you've made, so that may be part of the reason you aren't getting what you think you deserve. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:03:14 PM | I think being the little sister and friend to a lot of great looking people has made me iced over if all for pionts are on looks. Seeing girls make cake out of their self to get guys was so sick. I vowed that I'd never go there for any guy.
Good looks attract me but a good heart can keep me. I've dated skinny/unattractive by tv standard men. If they did not get so strange if I hugged a guy or smiled at a man who was talking to me I'd stick. It is as because as soon as they see me in a crowd they see that I am a natural at clubbing, i've been doing it from age 14, but I am also a very good person who would never leave a date unattended unless he chooses to sit and sulk like a poutty little boy.
If you want to be happy all the rest of your life get a plain person to marry you. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:22:12 AM | I think Shakespeare said it best, "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind...”
And, speaking from experience, one can truly love someone that they are not initially attracted to. However, it would be very time consuming to give every person that comes your way a fighting chance, so we rely on first impressions and with that comes the attraction factor.  | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:44:45 AM | | Yes, of course it matters! I don't see why, however, that you have to say goodbye to her. It sounds as though you really value this woman and don't want to end being with her. It sounds as though she could become one of the best friends you have ever had. Why let that go, without giving it a shot? Tell her, in as positive a way possible, what your feelings are. She may tell you goodbye, but it's also possible that she values your friendship and isn't necessarily attracted to you either. And - try not to feel bad about not being attracted to her. I don't think that's something we have very much conrol over. Either you are - or you're not. It's not a judgement against the other person or their appearance. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:54:03 AM | That's a tough situation to be in. Personally, I think if you're worried about the physical attraction now, then it will most likely become an issue later.
I agree with what ***Tee*** says...you should probably cut her loose and let her find someone who will love all of her...just the way she is.
Friendship is always a good option too. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:49:52 AM | In a word...
YES.
We're animals at the end of the day... Albeit quite complicated animals... But animals nonetheless.
It's driven in our genes to find the best mate possible and physical attraction is an important aspect.
But of course, being complex as we are, other aspects (such as personality) become equally important too. However, these aspects take time to evaluate, whereas physical attraction is virtually instantaneous. | |
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