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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:17:14 AM | | I think it is possible to have a long lasting relationship without the "you are the hottest thing ever" outlook on them. In most cases looks are temporary, and I feel it's most important to find someone you can have a wonderful time with, that you can have great conversations with, bc that is what is long lasting. | |
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| yes it does run like hell!
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:23:27 AM | | why do you want to be with her if not physically attracted to her? not fair to her, wasting her time, silly as hell, why bother? i hate to ask this, but.....how did you get into this situation in the first place? | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:24:29 PM | Does she have man hands or something? I could understand your problem if she had man hands or if she is balding.
So she's pretty and you get along with her in every other aspect of your relationship. So I'm assuming she does NOT super large breasts or a J-Lo booty.
I think if she's pretty, you should stick with her regardless of this ONE thing that she seems to be missing. Don't let your lust keep you from love. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:34:27 PM | | It didn't work for me. I spent 6 years in a relationship like that. Eventually it didn't work but now I miss them so much because we shared so much. I would say - bad idea. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:42:11 PM | Yes, physical attraction is necessary - chemistry has to be there for any type of relationship... even friendship.
But, Hey, jb, just let her go... If you aren't willing to discuss it with her beforehand and be honest about why you're holding back on a physical relationship - wish her luck. You obviously aren't serious about loving her for the entire her, so let her go on to find someone who is capable of giving her that.
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:46:57 PM | In my last relationship, I was not physically attracted to her. Not that she was bad looking, but her looks did not ignite the spark. That is from her pictures as it started out long distance. But as I got to know her and the beauty inside, and finally meeting her for the first time and then falling deeply in love with her, she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me. And yes, a BIG turn on due to my love for her.
Looks only go so far. But agree, they are important. If it's instant turn off and you have an issue with something about the way a person looks, I can't see where I'd even venture far enough to see the beauty on the inside. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:26:51 PM |
Bang her brains out..if u still dont like her..drop her like a hot potato...
Gourmetchef50
FFS! Learn to freakin' READ and have some respect man...the guy is talking serious LTR material and your suggestion might ALMOST make sense if he was out picking up desperate free sluts at the local dive bar.
When we kiss and make out, yes I do get turned on and we do have sexual relations...just not actual sexual intercourse... (that is only for marraige). Just because of who she is and how she makes me feel .... to me makes her the most wonderful girl I know. (italics mine)
I can tell you from both personal and observed experiences that at the end of the day, someone who is smart, funny, ambitious and has their sh*t together wears a lot better than somebody who merely stirs your hormones. I am NOT for a minute suggesting that you or anyone else should be with/stay with someone whose physical appearance is seriously unappealing to you. But someone CAN become beautiful because you love them, and someone you love for their beauty can become ugly.
I am hearing some very deep caring and respect for this young lady in your posts, and while I can't TELL you what you should do, I can suggest that you give it more time for the inner beauty she must surely have to grow on you...if it doesn't, yes there will be some heartache, but I think that you and she are already sufficiently fond of one another that even if you dumped her TONITE there would be some deep pain on BOTH of you. Are you in some kind of a freaking RACE to find a wife,that you can't give this more time and thought?
Look, if your relationship is fated to crash and burn, it's gonna crash and burn, but I'd put my money on compatibility,mutual respect, shared goals and values to give a better performance over the long haul,against sexual hyperattraction. There's a lot of folks here that are single because happy hormones alone couldn't sustain their marriage/committed LTR.
Cindy O | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:50:23 PM | ^^ There isn't a place for insensitivity here; I agree.
OP ... Yes, physical attraction matters. If it doesn't work for you at this point, fine, but let the girl go and allow her to be with someone who is appreciative of her overall beauty.  | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:57:34 PM | Yes, physical attraction matters. At some point, the physical attraction between two people is going to be the only thing that holds them together.
And given Shakespeares famous words, to Thine Own self be True.
It's kinder to cut her loose now and deal with the pain now, than to allow it to continue indefinately and tell her somewhere down the road that she's just not cutting it for you. | |
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camp63
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Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 89 | |
| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:07:10 PM | | My $0.02, physical attraction is the initial spark, then chemistry, and evaluation. The successful marriages/relationships I've witnessed, love was an action word & grew stronger because of respectful communication. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:17:33 PM | UPDATE !!!!!
Well I sat down with her last night and we had a really long talk about EVERYTHING !!! No I did not tell her "I don't think your attractive" or anything stupid like that. We talked about our relationship, how we feel for eachother and where we hope things go and all of that sorta of stuff.... And I tell you what.... the way I felt when I left her house was priceless.... I just can not let her go because I'm not excited about the way her azz looks(and no it's not fat... she is not fat at all) ... So for some reason a lot of you will tell me I've screwed her up and I'm not being fair to her, but you know what she is crazy about me and i'm crazy about her.... so we are giving it a go... and we are not looking back. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:01:35 PM |
Well I sat down with her last night and we had a really long talk about EVERYTHING !!! No I did not tell her "I don't think your attractive" or anything stupid like that. We talked about our relationship, how we feel for eachother and where we hope things go and all of that sorta of stuff.... And I tell you what.... the way I felt when I left her house was priceless.... I just can not let her go because I'm not excited about the way her azz looks(and no it's not fat... she is not fat at all) ... So for some reason a lot of you will tell me I've screwed her up and I'm not being fair to her, but you know what she is crazy about me and i'm crazy about her.... so we are giving it a go... and we are not looking back.
yay!!!! I think you did the right thing,and trust me,in 6 mo you will be in love with her butt too! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:23:57 PM | [Uh,he met her 6 months ago and he just joined this site last month?Am I missing something?/]
Yep... obviously did not meet her here We had been talking and in a casual relationship, but it was not up until about 2 weeks ago that we started talking about being serious.  Just have tto read all the post!!!! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:33:05 PM | physical attraction is very important at any time, I want to still be chasing my mate around the table when I am 75.......because I will still be attracted to her, love her and want to touch and be with her
May not be able to do anything when I catch her but then I will hold her hand lol | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:38:27 PM | | Hey man, If she is very pretty and her attitude is wonderful and everything your looking for, and her body is OK but not perfect, W T F are you stupid, I'm picky but you are rediculous and she deserves someone better than you. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:12:13 PM | WELL, I am glad you two talked, but I just stumbled upon another thread you posted in earlier TODAY. Totally contradicted this whole thread. You said you weren't trying to date - that you'd given up - and that all women are shallow because they can't get past your picture! What's up with that? In fact, you've also said this in the past:
:I just looking for someone how can enjoy life and treat me right, cause that's what I want to do for her.... Always remember....looks fade and change... true love does not
WHAT?? Then you post this?
You'd be really stupid to let the woman you're talking about in this thread go... if there even is such a woman. Actually, I think she needs to leave you... things just don't add up. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:24:44 PM |
physical attraction is very important at any time, I want to still be chasing my mate around the table when I am 75.......because I will still be attracted to her, love her and want to touch and be with her
May not be able to do anything when I catch her but then I will hold her hand lol
gerrysuper, that is so funny....I'm visualizing you chasing this little ol' lady around the table just so you can hold her hand!!!! That is just the sweetest thing I've read all day!
I'm glad that op got his thing straightened out...I was going to suggest that he rent the movie, "Shallow Hal". It'll make you THINK! Most people get past that kind of thinking when they are in their twenties....but some don't.
~DC~ | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:29:09 PM | | For me attraction isn't usually instantaeous. There has to be something else first. Sometimes I try to objectively analyze why I'm attracted to a particular person and I can't figure it out. On the other hand, a relationship can look good on paper and the other person is attractive, etc. but there's no chemistry. I believe you can sustain a relationship like that up to a point. In fact something might develop. If it never does, though, you may always feel like you're missins something and that can sour the rest of the relationship. Good luck.. Only you know how you feel whe you're with her. | |
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