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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:34:55 PM | | Be careful Op..you got cyber-watchers on this site..and they will hunt you down for every tidbit of info u have provided.As to the others that said i was an insensitive jerk...bite me!!! I was only joking..as some of these threads are a barrel of laughs..as are the responses.. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:45:45 PM | gerrysuper said: physical attraction is very important at any time, I want to still be chasing my mate around the table when I am 75.......because I will still be attracted to her, love her and want to touch and be with her
May not be able to do anything when I catch her but then I will hold her hand lol
gerrysuper, you sure say some sexy things. I think most of us women want someone like you who will still hold our hand if you can't go the distance. How sweet is that?  | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:50:34 AM | OP, if you think you're not attracted to her physically, yet you say "she IS very pretty", there's a chance that if things are taken to the physical level, you will find that in balance with her other good qualities, you will develop an attraction to find her physically attractive enough to have an overall really successful relationship.
I know this, because it's happened to me before.
It's sometimes remarkable what can happen in cases like this when you love on each other a bit. :-)
If you think she's that fantastic of a woman in all other ways and it could be possible with her (you do say "she is very pretty"), then go for it.
Someday you may regret that you didn't at least try, because life rarely gives us a second chance. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/3/2008 10:07:57 PM | yes it does matter we cant be attracted to evryone.evryone cant be evryone's cup of tea as they say.
if your not attracted to this girl dont waist her time and let her go.let her meet a guy who will like her the way she is.
cause if u still date her u would be using her when u think about it. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/3/2008 11:47:34 PM |
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Yes. Unless you're visually impaired. Then, not so much.
Physical attraction will always matter to some degree of variance. For some it is the number one requisite, while others have it further down the list...but it's always gonna be on the list. Always. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:03:05 AM | The people I've been initially "attracted" to in the past have always turned out to be the worst sexually. Perhaps because my expectation of them is too high - I don't know. It's just something I've noticed. On the other hand the more unsuspecting guys, who would not appear as confident or immediately handsome surprisingly have been the best lovers I've ever had. Yet there was no initial attraction but once we kissed...............man there were fireworks!!! So give people a chance. Guys that applies to you too.......... | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:23:44 AM |
The people I've been initially "attracted" to in the past have always turned out to be the worst sexually. Perhaps because my expectation of them is too high - I don't know. It's just something I've noticed. On the other hand the more unsuspecting guys, who would not appear as confident or immediately handsome surprisingly have been the best lovers I've ever had. Yet there was no initial attraction but once we kissed...............man there were fireworks!!! So give people a chance. Guys that applies to you too..........
Another million dollar look and a 10 cent lay huh? Yea, men gotta deal with those odds too unfortunately. Like with you, I've found that the ones who don't fit "the norm" were by far the best lovers I've had. The pretty ones disappointed in the sack. 
I pray for an exception to the rule though, 'cause my current SO is drop dead gorgeous...and I'd hate for the pattern to remain. LOL.  | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:32:18 AM | Is there absolutely no way in heck that you can change the way you feel about her so called imperfection as it pertains to a whole relationship? Have you, is it possible, been trained to feel in a way you really don't want to feel and can possibly look at this from an earlier viewpoint; uncontaminated by experience?
Hey just asking, because investigation may reveal that you don't like this attribute, not for you, but for someone else? Hmmmm? What if that were the case?
Good thing we grow old slowly so we may appreciate things like goiters and liver spots... | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:53:50 AM | Personally I say no it doesnt matter that much.
You have to understand that how you feel about someone effects what and how you see them, I would much rather have someone "Plain and Ordinary" than someone considered Breathtaking right out of the gate because I would much rather fall in love with a woman for who she is and how she thinks rather than what she looks like or how big her breasts are, I want to be able to sit with that woman when I'm 90 years old and be able to talk to her, share time with her and if shes all looks and not much mentally then there isnt much chance of that.
In the end we all have to remember though its Cliche Looks are only skin deep and they are very fleeting unless your going to spent a fortune in Cosmetic surgery....there are a million other reasons I can think of for paying more attention to a Woman's Mind, Wit, Humor, Conversational ability, the interests you share, the time you enjoy spending together and so many more things.
Ultimately though its up to what you think you want out of your life and the relationship your in, Can you look at this woman and picture yourself spending your life with her? Growing old with her? If so then I wouldn't worry about the rest of it and if not then you need to seriously reconsider what you want out of life and what you want in a mate.
I personally say don't pay too much attention to what people say here because everyone has a different point of View and different desires etc. make up your own mind, scan your heart and find out what you really want because in the end that's all that's going to matter.
Just my opinion and my point of view and I hope in some way it helps you see your way through your problem. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:55:43 AM | | Communication, how the other carry themmselves will over come the lack of PA,,,yes,,,some are only attracted to one or few physcial aspects,,,yet they miss the baot,,,as there I have dated will tell you I look at all of her,,,for it is all of her and not just legs,or whatever,,,yet being human yes,,,there may be aspects you enjoy more than others,,,so communicate,,,deeply honestly with her,,,not advise here,,,,HER,,,because it is you and her that can over come ANYTHING that is distracting you,,,hey I bet she has some issues with your body as it is clear you and her need to COMMUNICATE if you care as much as you say,,,,Is she worth it,,,are you worth it,,,its time you her talked,,,really talked you may be suprised what your both missing out on,,,,good luck and enjoy,,, | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 7:51:41 AM | CAN SOMEONE'S TRUE LOVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE OUT SHINE THEIR PHYSICAL COMPLECTION?
Yes and no.....if you don't feel that spark of the physical, you can't exactly keep a fire alive later down the road because there was no fire to begin with! Think about it.....how many times do we hear about couples who have been together for years trying to do exactly that?! This is why the initial physical attraction is so important! You can be attracted to someone physically at first, but then find the other qualities they posess unattractive. So, you keep searching. You can still love them as a friend...YES, guys, this is possible!  So, if you find her personality more attractive, talk to her about how you feel, and keep her as a friend before you end up hurting her! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:00:09 AM | | OP - I was with someone for 12 years that I was not physically attracted to. I gained some weight and I wasn't attractive to him anymore either. It's not good. It's not fair to either person. Stay friends, it's better in this situation I think. Good luck!!! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:01:33 AM | Physical attraction is vital.
First of all she must not emit any fermones, which means she probably hasn't picked up on any from you.
Sounds like you guys are just pals and both feel the same way. Sometimes a woman will go along with a relationship thinking how good it is and that the "sex thing" probably won't be that bad...I'm sure she is having the same doubts as you.
Why don't the two of you sit and discuss it together? If you can't, than what you are both doing is playing games. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:28:45 AM | I must agree with Ms. Sweet Sinful Seduction (and I love that profile name!) I was on the other side of this situation a number of years ago. The guy in question turned out not to be physically attracted to me, and as much as he tried to hide it, the physical rejection came out in many different ways. In turn, I was convinced for a long time that I wasn't attractive to the opposite sex.
If you are still checking this thread, OP, and if you haven't already done so, let her go in the nicest way you possibly can. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:41:55 AM | Yes, it does. It is probably not based on logic but is real and it does matter.
In anything other than finding a partner, would you go and try to get something you didn't like having around?
It is not right, wrong, good or bad - it is.
"Physical attraction only matters if you intend to have sex with that person. "
I certainly intend to have sex with the one person - and a great deal more. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:57:11 AM | | For most people, physical attraction does matter to some degree. Some people will care more about physical attraction than others will. I wouldn't date an unattractive man. But I have dated average looking men because there were other qualities about them that appealed to me such as personality, intelligence, shared common interests and values etc. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:58:48 AM | | then you really aren't attracted to her as you should be Please don't tell her that her body doesn't turn you on that could be devasting to her, self esteem is hard to come by sometimes so somethings are better left unsaid...... | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:45:37 AM | Of course physical attraction matters! But its a personal thing too; I've been with women in the past who some would not consider drop dead gorgeous or classically beautiful, but they were certainly that to me. When you get to know someone on a more personal, intimate level, you see depths in them that transcend mere physical appearances, so that what one person might see as physically attractive another person would not. Its not always a case of simple empirical evidence or standards.
All that being said however, it still does come down to a point of, when she walks into a room, does the thought of seeing her naked turn you on. If the answer is no, its time to kindly part ways. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 10:01:09 AM | That's a tough dichotomy there where you really like and admire the person end enjoy being with them BUT physical attraction is just not there...
There is no "one size fits all" answer to this- I can only state from my perspective, for me it's a deal breaker - if there is no physical attraction, there is no relationship ( other than platonic friends)..
I would absolutely not tell her this and hurt her but I don't think it will work out for long if you two are intimate and you're clearly dreading it, not aroused to her physically.. you can't fake it.. it's there or no ...I don't see a "long term healthy relationship" with a person when you are not physically attracted
Your best bet is to remain friends if you can but dont lead her on ( with any intimacy) feeling the way you do.. Perhaps the best thing would be to let her go so she can be with someone who is very attracted to her in total..
ps- It took you 6 months to realize that you are not physically attracted?
good luck | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:23:17 AM | Yes it does. If the girl doesn't have a large chest or a good waist to hip ratio, your man meter is telling you that she is probably not fertile enough to have your child. A young, healthy, fertile woman can have a healthy, smart child.
I am not sure why dudes get into relationships and have sex with women they are not going to impregnate. It makes no sense. If she looks good, you should be cool with her getting prego. If she doesn't, then you might want to stop messing around with her and find a girl you are really attracted to. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:59:06 PM | | It absolutely matters. It may not be the most important thing but it is certainly as important as most others especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. In time I think other fazes of the attraction will grow as the physical attraction either stagnats or whithers but can't imagine a relationship without it. | |
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