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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 1:01:31 PM | [quote[Yes, If Your Not Attracted to Them, You Wont look at their profile, or Wirte to Them.
or want to have sex with them, which would mean that you don't want a relationship with them.
That being said, what's attractive to one, isn't to another. I have seen couples with two people who, to me, are really unattractive people, who look at each other as if the other is the most beautiful/handsome person in the world.
So, there is a lid for every pot, and there is no reason to get "involved" with someone who isn't attractive to you, and you to him/her. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:53:27 PM | | I believe physical attraction is fairly important in a relationship and if you are already second guessing yourself at this stage of the relationship just imagine what it will be like in a couple of years when the new wears off. I am sure you could ignore the fact that you are not physically attracted to her for a while but eventually I believe it will cause problems. Why subject yourself or more importantly her to the inevitable unpleasantness that lies ahead? In a perfect world physical attraction wouldn't be an issue but unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world. Perhaps you could look past this and live happily ever after but the fact you even have to ask this question should set off, at the very least, a warning light. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:07:25 PM | It may be superficial as hell and shallow as can be but it is what it is and what it is, is about connection. I suspect it's an inherent, innate bilogical factor. Chemisrty......conduit.....connection......current........electricity......that "it" factor. I have gone out with women who were fantastic people, great in every sense imaginable. But they didn't appeal to me on a physical level. There was no connection. I begged and pleaded, reasoned with all my might to my logic and my senses but to no avail.
I think it even goes a step further (or it did for me)--I could have probably began or stayed in relationships with such women if I'd simply been indifferent to them in regard to attraction but I wasn't even neutral or ambivalent; I was actually turned off by them in the physical sense. I tend to have too idyllic an image in my mind of the woman I want in terms of her physical attributes and I have certain quirks or oddities, in regards to certain features which turn me off (or on) and are deal breakers.
These are my issues and certainly not a woman's. I am trying to work on them and train myself to be more pragmatic and realistic this way as I am more than certain I miss out and terrific and fabulous ladies because of it. But I guess this was my very long-winded way of saying that yes, at least for me, it absolutely matters!! Sorry for rambling........ | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:06:07 PM | Well - there is a difference between chemistry and attraction - and physical attraction. I have met guys that aren't quite my normal "type" (for want of a better term) but the touch of their hand and their kiss is - well very nice. In the cold light of day I could pick out things maybe that I didn t find "attractive" but the whole package worked/
Given that I am not 25 anymore and don't haqve the youthful body that I once had - I guess one can easily find fault with certain aspects of my physical attractiveness - but then I wouldn t someone that shallow.
So - chemistry, connection whatever you call it - yes -- perfect physical attractiveness - no.
Zee | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:46:12 PM | | You provide a point to ponder but....I wonder......is there a distinctive difference? Can a person have a real (and lasting) chemistry or connection with someone they do not find physically attractive or appealing? Even given how great said person may be in all other aspects? I guess there is no definitive answer to that as only a lone individual could answer for themselves. I guess one of the truest "truisims" is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It really, really is. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:07:09 PM | Personally as much as I can see my favorite sexy male actors on screen and know I think they are hot, in real life I do not get hot & bothered by someone based on looks. Sexy is so much more! I would think if you fall in love with someone based on all the other things about them but maybe they don't have perfect abs or the cutest butt or whatever - it wouldn't matter! When I love a man I love everything about him and have eyes for no one else. So I can't relate to why a guy who loves this great girl would not be physically attracted. That's like how you should feel about your sister or something.
So either you don't truly love this woman and you should let her move on to someone who will, or you are just being an A$$ and need to get over the fact that normal women do NOT look like the chicks in Playboy. Hell, the chicks in Playboy don't look like themselves - they airbrush the crap put of those magazines. Women are beautiful and different, we change, our bodies change as we age - women are meant to be soft & have curves and if YOU are smart you will treat her like Helen of Troy and make sure she feels like a goddess - I promise if you do she will feel beautiful and BE beautiful for you. A woman can blossom incredibly with the right man to love her! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:23:16 PM | I don't believe your post was in direct reply to my own, as I never mentioned a specific woman, but I'm going to pay heed to it like it was. Your response was quite possibly the best one I've ever read on any given subject in these forums. So wise, mature and transparent as to how you yourself love; unconditionally! And that is so rare....in fact one becomes so jaded they don't even truly believe unconditional love exists.
Your post also provides several pearls of wisdom (at least as they pertain to me personally). It never dawned on me until you said it yourself--I felt about these women as if they were a sister. I admired them, respected them and even liked them; but I did not love them. Perhaps it was a matter of chemistry or physical appearance......whatever the reason, it felt more platonic than romantic (at least on my part).
And the very last sentence of your post is perhaps the most profoundly wise bit of advice ever shared. And that goes both ways.....a man becomes better in every way when loved by a virtuous woman!
Thank you...... | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:57:24 PM | Here's my two centavos:
I had the exact same thing happen to me. However, when we did get down and dirtay, as they say, it didn't matter. To tell you honestly, I was more happy I was turned on than anything else... Hey, the little guy actually perked up even though she's not a supermodel.
So you can get past the visual.
Of course... I did have another experience when I could not get past the visual. And this was because when we were groping around, I knew where things were supposedly were, but dang -- I kept touching fat where I thought the right parts ought to be... It was very confusing.
If it's just a small imperfection, it shouldn't matter.
Good luck!
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:28:09 AM | | ALL attraction is in the mind. You CAN direct your mind. You can choose to be attracted by big, round, 'basketball-like' tits...or by small, sagging, 'half empty water bag-like' tits. You can choose to be attracted by blonde hair, or by red hair, or by no hair. You can decide what does/doesn't attract you, and so choose to be attraced by her body-whatever it is like-if you want to. If you are still reacting instinctively-seeking a gal with tits like Momma used to stick in your mouth-or hopeing to marry a Playboy Playmate of The Month type model, you can-and probably should-revise your standards, and expectations, somewhat. To give up on a gal who is otherwise ideal for you-apparently-because of some physical fetish you have is foolish. Don't be so shallow, and stupid. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:36:34 AM | | The realtionship is doomed if you choose to doom it by being shallowly fixated on her body. It is not doomed if you don't. If she were Miss Universe, and that attracted you, and you married her, and she aged, or was in an auto wreck, or such, and ended up less physically ideal than she had been in her constestant days, would you abandon her? You can make the relationship work if you want to make it work. It will not work if you don't want it to. Nothing matters any more-or less-than you choose to let it matter. The choice , and (oh no!) RESPONSIBILITY for that choice, is yours. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:50:25 AM | | Yes, physical attraction matters. A lot. If it isn't there, the relationship stands little chance of lasting no matter how nice it is otherwise (unless we are talking about a platonic friendship, that is.) | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:44:12 PM | | Physical attraction matters a great deal!!! To me anyway, and the better the woman looks, the better (I perform) the sex. I can't explain, that's just the way nature works. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:53:13 PM | It sucks when we're not attracted to "Nice" people! There are a lot of really nice
single women in the world that I don't have an once (or is that a gram now?) of
sexual attraction for! It's just the way it is! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 10:54:49 AM | I feel your pain,
A woman does not have to be in perfect shape but a good body is always nice
thick and curvey is good as long as she wear it well
sorry to say some have the pot holes and rolls i just can't get with
then there are some thick curvy woman who looks really sexi
it depends on your preference
If you love spending time with her and want to go to the next level
but feel her body may be an issue there are things you can do
one is buy her sexy one piece lingeri that you would like to see her in
that will turn you on .
It sounds like you really want to be with this young lady
so go for it  | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:14:14 PM | It is not right if you are not attracted to her physically....women are connected to a man for many reasons...and like to make love as a completion and emotional connection a display of their love...............be kind and let her go.
In answer to your question...yes...it matters. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 2:38:55 PM | | Her physical attractiveness is important enough to you that you brought it up here, and it's not likely to become less important because of what anyone tells you. You'd be better off, and so would she, if you told her as thoughtfully as possible you'd like to date other women. And avoid discussing the real reason, if you feel that revealing it would hurt her unnecessarily. You have as much right to see someone else as she does, and neither of you needs to explain their reasons in detail. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 3:03:10 PM |
ALL attraction is in the mind. You CAN direct your mind. You can choose to be attracted by big, round, 'basketball-like' tits...or by small, sagging, 'half empty water bag-like' tits. You can choose to be attracted by blonde hair, or by red hair, or by no hair. You can decide what does/doesn't attract you, and so choose to be attraced by her body-whatever it is like-if you want to.
Total codswallop. Attraction is hardwired, during one's formative years. It is not a matter of "deciding" what attracts you. It's natural, and part of "Mother Nature's" process of attraction. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 3:14:30 PM |
I meet a girl about 6 months ago and we hit off great she is really funny, smart, ambitious and has all of the qualities that I could ever ask of a girl. it took you 6 months to come to this conclusion? it depends on what you consider a long-healthy relationship. evidently you are uncomfortable with her for some reason and i am IMO doubting that the physical appearance is the problem, i suspect that there is a deeper underlying cause that hasnt yet surfaced or for some reason is not apparent to you. you state all i could ever ask of a girl,, thats the part that confuses. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 4:02:29 PM | I think there's gotta be something that physically attracts you to another person, be it their smile, their eyes, their hair, their hands, their butt - something! Having said that, I can meet a guy who may not be conventionally good-looking, but his intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, ability to be considerate and thoughtful overrides his "lack of looks." And if I look closely, I can see that little twinkle in his eye, that great smile and something about his general demeanor that just does it for me. And to bring it back to shallow, if he's got a Harley - well..........
For anyone who's totally evaluating people by their looks and bodies, consider this. Fast-forward about 30 years. Your spouse has been diagnosed with a disease that makes amputating part of her/his body mandatory. Do you stay or go out for that mythical pack of cigarettes or quart of milk and never return, either physically or emotionally? Or have you hopefully grown enough by that time to appreciate your spouse for those finer, less obvious qualities that really make up the person you love? | |
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