| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:34:28 AM | OP - you should answer him by email so you have it in writing. Tell him to back off. You've given him his chance and he has to leave you alone now OR ELSE.
You can call the phone company and they will tell you how to basically track his calls through their services. If he calls atleast 3 times when they are tracking they will handle things. I would just tell him to stop now, you aren't giving him any more chances and that if you have to, you will report him.
I've had guys do this to me before and a whole lot worse and usually when you tell them that you will have no choice but to report them to the police, they'll back off. Usually.
I hope he doesn't know where you live or can do a reverse lookup on you so he can find your address. Block his emails, block IM's, and if you have no choice, change your number.
I hate it when people do this stuff, but this is also why I block my number and call the guy at first so he doesn't have the ability to do this stuff before I get to know him better. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:33:50 AM | | He's stopped trying to call me. I really feel sorry for him. He's honestly looking for his special someone, but doesn't realize that he scares them off by coming on too strong. I hope he finds someone that it won't scare off. We all deserve to find love. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:50:09 PM | Okay I met this guy off of here this week. Well by the end of the first date, he was calling me his girlfriend.
Strike One!
We met up for a bbq yesterday. Where he introduced me as his girlfriend to his family.
Strike Two!
But between the first and second date, he had already started posting us as a success story and tried to poste my pictures to his dating profile.
Swing and a miss!
He also has my picture as his computer background at home. I saw his room - turns out he lives at home, even though we are both in our 30's. His room is decorated in pictures of transformers and me.
And my mom use to make fun of my Scooby-Doo sheets. 
What do I do? He seems like a great guy, but pretty obsessive over someone he just met.
You think? But hey, he seems like a great guy. You think he is a great guy because he showers you with affection?
He's pretty darn scary. You did the right thing breaking up with this "man".
And for god sakes, why are there people saying you led this guy on? You just went on a freaking date with him!!! It not your fault he has a screw loose and believe me, he has a SERIOUS problem if you go on 2 dates and he thinks you are a couple and a "success story" on POF.
OP, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You were just unfortunate to meet this whacko. Be strong and stay away. If you start contact back up with him, you are giving him false hope that you really want to be with him. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:03:45 PM | | Okay he just contacted me through email and told me this was slander and to be a big girl and take it off. I have requested that it be taken off. But I do want it noted that I never gave any identifying info on him - not what city, name, anything other than age. I also did say that I hoped he would find someone. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:12:57 PM |
Okay he just contacted me through email and told me this was slander and to be a big girl and take it off. I have requested that it be taken off. But I do want it noted that I never gave any identifying info on him - not what city, name, anything other than age. I also did say that I hoped he would find someone.
Not such a "great guy" now. Didn't someone say how he is just lonely or desperate?
I personally think he is a nasty piece of work.
Tell him to be a "Big Boy" and leave you the hell alone.
Block his email. I think you should be done with him.
If he calls you again, inform the police.
What an A$$hole!!!! | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:18:09 PM | I think he may have deleted his profile from here. Like I said I never gave any identifying info on him. I don't want others to have a preconceived notion of him, should they come across his profile and meet him. They might have better luck with him. For me it was honestly as though he was in such a hurry to get into the relationship, he didn't get to know me -and I didn't get to know him obviously. Although, I'm definitly glad I took everyones advice and ended it.
Like I said I have asked for this thread to be deleted - I don't know how to do it other than to send a message to help line. But then again, since I got the help I needed, it was time to delete it anyway. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:27:45 PM | | You need to stop being so nice to him. I had a guy do the same thing to me. I told him a few times I wished him well, but to leave me alone, but that didn't work. Sometimes you have to be really firm and frankly, not so friendly. If someone is harassing you or threatening you, at that point, I wouldn't be wishing them well or hoping they find someone special. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:01:39 PM | | He's definitely out of touch with reality. I can't see this getting better. He's a pure fantasist. I'd get out of it and, what's more, try to ensure he doesn't know where you live. I'd feel pretty uncomfortable with someone like that having too much information about my whereabouts. OK, he might not seem dangerous now, but if you spoil his fantasy, then what? | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:15:32 PM | | So there's no way he can get me for slander on this? If so, I'm really tired of this. And now, I really hope he doesn't do this to someone else, because frankly now he has gone from being annoying to scary. He did stop calling. I was surprised by the email. It does seem that he has taken his profile off here - at least I can't find it - of course I did block it. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:29:45 PM | Slander:
1. defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
2. a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
You never mentioned who he was and I doubt he had a "good name".
He hasn't got a leg to stand on. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:36:48 PM | HAHAHAHA !!!!!
uh, no.... he cannot "get you for slander" he is just trying to scare you. This is NOT slander....lol... | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:28:18 PM | | So anyway, I did not realize that these postes showed up on your profile -like I said I'm new to this. How do I delete this thread, I sent a message to help, but that can take a while. Now at least I know how he found out about this thread, he was going to my profile. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:51:20 PM | Hi Op... well welcome to the www..lifestyle..
when i was a child i was taught... never say anything behind someones back that you wouldnt say to their face.......
the www... will reinforce this.. by keeping transcripts/texts...etc .....
so yep you learnt a lesson on.. what you say..... be prepared to have it recorded online ... forever... or until deleted...
your children...employers...family...etc ... can read what you blog etc...
(it amazes me the parents who come on here saying... they had or having an affair etc... their kids can read that)
he probably deleted his profile and probably made another 1... it seems like he feels embarrassed .. whether people know his nic or not..
my advice if your new would be to take it slow..... on here /online...
some people start threads b/c they want the person theyre dating..or interacting with to see it.. b/c they dont know how else to communicate what they want/feel.....
some are obvious.. some state it somewhere down on their posts..that ....that is their intent..
and some dont realise majority of people hold feelings/emotions/interactions private/trust.... and feel humiliated/embarrassed... someone brings their private life www publicly....and have been dumped b/c theyve seen one sided threads started about them...
ie a man or woman starts a thread on a disagreement on ideas/ ie he said blah so i did blah... .. the man or woman reads it on ops history... feels theyve one sides been falesly represented and therefore cut all ties with op...
if you read alot of ops.. over time you will be able to tell the 1 sided ones designed to have people just agree with them...vindicate their position..
ive seen 2 such threads this last month... the guy simply .. cut all ties with their relationships..
heres your google.. on www on your thread..
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=Odessateach&meta=
the reason i post this is b/c when i first joined....... a tech guy posted.. be careful of what info you put on profile... online etc b/c you can be traced..... on many levels..
this is why id never participate in hackable places like facebook.. my space...
anything you say do online...expect it to be public..
smiles/peace | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:54:04 PM | we all figured he was nuts after the first post. The updates don't really surprise me.
What's with all the Transformer hating?
And also, I agree there is far too much hating on the Transformers. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:03:51 PM | | wow, you truly can find everything trivial on google. Anyway, I'm going to take the advice to delete my profile and start a new one. I wonder if this will disappear once I do, since I started the thread. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:09:15 PM | | I may not be the best person to voice an opinion here, but I'm a firm believer that the first date does not mean you need a pen, you know, to sign the prenuptial agreement. A first date, after emailing as near-perfect strangers, is definitely the start of the probationary period. The second dates falls into that category as well. My advice is that if he's already introducing you as his girlfriends, that's a huge red flag. So is living at home when you're in your 30's. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:10:51 PM | ^^^^ your profile will disappear but not the thread
unless someone reports it as redundant or forum rules broken
if you had posted his nic thats a forum violation.. you showed him respect by not posting his nic.......
sorry you had to learn such harsh lessons so quickly..
take it slow hun theres lots to learn on here..
smiles/peace | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:13:16 PM | | So should I go ahead and keep the profile, I'm afraid these postings showing on it will cause some future people not to be interested. I really don't give a flip if he sees this, its not like we were together for a long time or I even gave any identifying info on him - something I will never do.: | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:48:32 PM | | So since this thread won't be erased and I got a lot of good advice, I'm not going to delete my profile or this. I figured out how to deal with this showing. Number one, I believe if a guy interested in my saw this, he would realize not to treat me like the first guy. Number 2, I realize this will affect the way some guys see me, but not much I can do about it now. I did not poste identifying info - I simply wanted advice. Yes I did say too much and I have learned from that. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:58:24 PM | Odessa, only five posts show on your profile,, post on some other threads and these won't be seen the first time someone views you. People will still be able to click on history below your pic in the forums and read all this,, but I'm guessing not everyone does that.
tb | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:00:34 PM | | Thank you. That is exactly what I'm doing. If I poste on several other topics, then the history will be long and they won't want to look at it anyway. Although, I don't regret this at all, because I got the much needed advice and was able to make a decision that turned out for the best. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:42:22 PM | Actually Odessateach,
there is NOTHING in your history that will keep any SANE man from wanting to get in touch with you. You've done nothing wrong. all you did was asked for some advice on how to deal with some whacko.
If anything, it will keep the nutcases from writing you because now they know how you dealt with the previous jerk.
Please do keep your profile. And feel free to keep paticipating in the forums. If you keep giving positive feedback, it just lets other people know just a little bit more extra about what type of person you are. | |
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| he's coming on strong
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:28:02 AM | | I had someone go through my entire history once. It was a lot of information but she knew it all. | |
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