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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:54:45 PM | Alchoholism can be a very powerfull disease
 that alcoholism is a disease is one of the biggest bullshit lies promoted by aa. until they can give me proof of this...which they have never been able to do to this day to substantiate and clearly document this claim..its garbage. but then..what else can one ever expect from a hiccup head but twisted 'truths' and lies...
good for you op for dumpin' the drunk..
al-anon is another joke. they too have some really perverted psychology. ive seen sick people go into those rooms and leave sicker than when they came in. this program was started by an alcoholic (from guilt i guess), so how can one ever expect mental health when you have the blind leading the blind and the first blind doesnt even have eyesockets??? | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:50:30 PM | I met my ex b/f on this site 2 yrs ago,all was good,then after about 2 months I noticed he had severe drinking problem....why are some so selfish and cruel?
Reads like the poster child for co-dependence. Oblivious to additive behavior before getting married, maybe the physical proweness overemphasized in the profile compensated for potential DUIs and innocent highway deaths.
Profile says "widowed", post says "probably die" ...just ended a 2 year marriage. Sounds convoluted. Reads like a hoax.
And to top it off, it's selfish and cruel. That's laughable. | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:58:44 AM | Never been in a relationship with that kind of addiction..however, I´ve had similar experiences with co-workers and a family member. First important thing - you mantioned it yourself - is that you cannot change the person or his/her behavour. And you should never do that either. What you should do is to put some rules up. And never ever step away from them - no matter what. We tend to be too nursing and too forgiving - especially in a relationship. But that will never work, it´ll only make things worse.
Alcoholics are more or less adopting the behavour of a child. If one don´t set the rules the child will learn how to manipulate the parents, and later on his/her friends. Lies will become ordinary life in time.
I was the forgiving and nursing kind with my co-worker at first..but it became too hard and I began to set some rules. I told him that he had to change his behavours or else I had to bring it up with the boss. I also told him - another important thing - that I didn´t do this because of him - I couldn´t care less about him drinking.
He actually changed his behavour for the better even if he still drinks. It´s all about letting them know they have rules like everyone else to follow. And they have to understand this themselves too. | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:02:07 PM | | I have to clarify one thing I didnt know much about alcoholism,and when I first met him,didnt think much, it was just beer,this is Florida,its hot,men drink beer,and he was a functioning alcoholic,even though he didnt work,got disability,he wasnt what I always thought a drunkard was,he functioned,and at times quite well,it got progressively worse over the next 2yrs,he got to point where he drank from time he woke up til bedtime and then always had a beer in his hand,the things we did had to involve drinking or alcohol being involved,at one point I even tried to drink with him,but couldnt,after much time and now I see enabling,I got away and he continues the same pattern to this day,just replaced me with another.... | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:27:56 AM | | Again,I did not know the effect alcohol has on a person,and in the beginning,it wasnt heavy drinking,it became progressively worse,yes,Iam a widow,but my late husband did not die of drinking thats for sure! and when the ex got to point where he stay in house day/night and drink sun up to sundown and then into the wee hours,and I was forgotten,is when all the trouble began,you cannot win an argument with a drunk,nor can they ever show any compassion or love for you,I learned the hard way,the addiction takes hold and doesnt let go... | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:45:17 AM | Kgrl, you did the right thing honey. Alcoholism is an illness and until the alcoholic at least acknowledges they have a problem and seeks help, it will never hchange.
I've been there, had a relationship with an alcoholic and it's dreadful. The drink will always come first, no matter what. I also tried to help this person, unfortunately you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves.
Keep the faith hun ~ the right man for you is out there  | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:46:13 AM |
Alcoholism is an illness
I respectfully disagree. Cancer is an illness, arthritis is an illness, multiple schelrosis is an illness, migranes are an illness. Alcoholism and being a drunk is a choice. One can wake up and say no more, enough is enough.....
Peace | |
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| Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:58:44 AM | | Wow, can't remember ever reading these things but I have to respect the different opinions. I am opinionated to say the very least so I just have to give my two cents. I worked in a behavioral health unit and I have worked in the men's prison system for 6 yrs. The problem with all the labels society has put on people's addictions is that it has given them and they're loved ones excuses for the bad behavior. I cannot tell you how many inmates explain away their crimes with their addictions and labels. Example: Dr. I have ADHA or ADD, I went off my meds and self medicated with meth and that caused me to steal the car, the lady's purse and checks/credit cards, rape, ect. ect. When my son (who is now 33) was 12 or so they told me they thought he had ADD and wanted him on meds, I said forget it. I figured he was smart and bored so I bought him a base guitar and he moved to phoenix at 19 to play hard rock, he has told me many times he loves that he has what they call ADD because he can work 75 hrs. a week at his job, play in a band a few nights a week and maintain the pool and yard at his home and still have play time. Labels, they are people's excuses to do the wrong thing, like let others raise their children, mooch off the working person, and lay around on disability. I am not opposed to disability for someone who has worked and came across some hard times, but, to get it because of drugs and other addictions I draw the line. My father was what they call an alcoholic and compulsive gambler, and after 30 years of putting up with that garbage, my mom finally said enough is enough, and guess what...daddy quit all of it, cold turkey, no meetings or meds or nothing. He decided his family was more important. An addiction? Bull...its all about choices. I am almost 51 and for years I jumped on that soap box and said my drug of choice was food, gave me my excuse too, no, I just like good food, and I made a choice to loose 40 lbs, its a stuggle and I'll never be a size 5 but I like who I am and I won't make excuses or let anyone tell me I need to fit the mold. Sorry this is long but its my first one and I wanted to add my ...5 cents... it turns out. | |
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