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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:47:36 PM | hg - both of my posts here have spoken of things directly about your thread, plus have spoken to you personally.
i will refrain from speaking to you personally in the future.
from my first post - to show i did also address your thread-
I think with so many divorces and it taking so much to even just survive in this country now - it's really impossible for things to be as you imagine they still are, or should be, or appear to be in your view......women HAVE to be head of households and therefore the main breadwinners because they are the only breadwinners.....and with being in charge of their lives and finances, the women I know are also in charge of their dating - they do the courting at least as much as men, if not more.....they share in the expense of the dating
and from my second post - 94
and, actually, i agree with those here who said isn't it logical that those who are raised to believe in traditional style dating to believe in traditional style living with another too.
by the way, I like being treated with respect and sometimes I hold the door for men, and sometimes they hold it for me....it does not mean I am not a lady.....
all people like being respected | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:00:40 PM | You are not sorry!! Nor do you have any credibility as your fabricated persona is transparent. I am going to call you out in a personal way that I never done before because it is time someone publicly call out this charade, especially since you systematically portray yourself as something you are not!
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Dude we are damned if we do and damned if we don't when trying to discuss issues with people like you. If you were an attorney in court and said that about an opposing lawyer, when trying to win your case, you'd be thrown out by the judge and the bar association (not the other fellow). We don't have a Bar AShSociation here, but I'm afraid YOUR credibility just took a big dip with most of the guys and all the women.
You see, people are having trouble with your "hypothesis" because it is so vast, yet so trivial. It is just another thinly veiled guile at "what do men or women want".
Why don't you answer my questions, instead of attacking someone who most think was making a genuine concession to you...that takes class. Perhaps you are correct OP, and that poster is playing tricks on you, so, JUST DEFEND YOUR HYPOTHESIS. Claiming someone is "lieing" is not an accepted debate tactic.
I ask you "Should people dating a certain ethnic person help you predict similar ethnic traits"
Or "Can you guage a persons future religious habits from their current religious beliefs". The answer is yes of course, so what? | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:14:12 PM | TWSS,
Those quotes are still only true if you have that mindset that wishes them to be true.
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actually , we may be quibbling about semantics.
when you look next to you to see her sitting there- it may be due to complacency and not any sense of devotion.
There is layers to this companionship. ( sort of like an onion or a parfait..everyone likes parfait ). Devotion is a loaded word.
I don't want someone who is sitting there as it is expected of her.
I don't want someone to darn my socks or wash my clothes or cook for me.
I would like someone who thinks of me when I am not there with her. Who makes something out of nothing for me. Who is out and finds something that she knows I would be interested in seeing and brings it back to me for me to see. She remembered that I once said " i like.........." and then some time later, she stumbles across this thing and brings it back to me .
I want someone who has my back when it seems all hope is lost. I want to know that when the chips are down, she'll be there. if that happens, then I'd expect both of us to turn to each other and say " okay, I'll cover you, you make a run for it.. One of us has to get out of here alive!" Then we smile, laugh and say.. " ah... it was a good run wasn't it? We had fun!" and stay.
Someone who if we both go into something together, that we both will come out together at the same time. She looks out for me when I am not there and does not allow others to speak ill of me. She doesn't first think: "okay,, what's in this for me? " or " if I say anything on his behalf, it may make me look bad or it may screw up my chances with....." ...
That is the person for me. I'd do the same for her. its really simple.
it could be that a so-called ' princess" could be one such person.
you never can tell.
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For those that think- the world is their oyster. for those who feel, the world may seem to be a horrible place. This has always been true.
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You may have come late to this issue of expectations and communication. I have already gone down that road several times.
When men perceive that they are being 'taken' as it is expected that they pay, they understand that their choice has been taken away from them. That grates on people.
So it is not always about the money but about CHOICE. several threads have already covered that topic.
29 pages? it would have been nice had it only been 29 pages....
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Money is ALWAYS an issue. Those people who constantly say " i don't care if he/she has money" seem a bit out of it as money issues are very important in a relationship.
The threads are no indication of anything other than what happens to these specific people. You can't say anything specific about them other than to say "some do" and "some don't" and the" majority don't care".
There is no way anyone can extrapolate date from here to come up with 80% of people or 40% people based upon what you see here. Especially only looking at those people who post. These people have an agenda. or more specifically, 28.7% of the people posting have an agenda... 35.6 % don't and the remainder have a clipboard. | |
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I purr
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Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 104 | |
| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:33:26 PM | Traditional roles for modern times. Are we talking for dating and/or for marriage? Women have progressed and hopefully man has also. We have changed gender roles in many areas. And depending on the income bracket the traditional roles are similar yet different. Those use to the finer things in life do experience much more responsibilities where the woman is concerned in the home as she still dresses and works as much or more in conjunction with the man and business needs as well as in the home needs. Her appearance is also adjusted to that life style. Depending on the age bracket, over 50, retirement will also come into play. Then getting remarried has new issues. So it is difficult to generalize. Here are some basics
a) Traditional house is where the man is usually head of the household
b) Traditional chivalry is alive and well as a gentlemanly attributes
c) The man works outside and the woman runs the household
d) Woman are Socially available for career’s that men do entertaining at home and out
e) The man would be the primary breadwinner and would be picking up the tab. (but woman would still provide him a nice romantic meal at her residence or their home.)
f) The man adores his wife the way Dad looked at Mom
When use to the finer things in life there is much more to this. And those in this bracket know what is involved. Those in the lower income bracket are basically staying at home Mom. Kids are grown so it is adjusting on how we define this.
Men, that do not have a clue what traditional means and are still asking for all the women to pay for the date are most likely raised in Middle America and looking for the completely modern woman. Definitely does not have traditional courting rules for dating or marriage. Has very modern view points, rarely open car doors, and buy flowers, entertain his boss, or plan large parties with invitations sent through the mail.
A non-traditional man ……You could be standing on the side walk and this guy would be down the street before he realizes that you were still waiting for the car door to be opened. :)
Yet, simple traditional roles are still the wife at home having dinner on the table when Dad walks through the door. Laundry is done and put away; lunch packed for Papa and Mom is head of the PTA and car pools regularly. Bare foot and PG.
Very Modern woman refuses to let her car door opened for her. Makes the plans as much or more than her date. Lives on her own. Buys her own home and has an actual Career. I am not one so I am sure more should be written here.
Then average America is where we all make about the same and pool everything just to make ends meet. And with Mortgage rates so high, Gas prices and electric prices this group is getting larger all the time.
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:39:24 PM | Momarks,
You are right. I think we only differed on semantics. As for the guys posting complaining about having to pay, you are also right in your earlier post, since I date women, I can't really get any personal experience with how dating a different cross section of women feels. I am probably more likely to hang out with the same type of women as myself, and don't know what other "types" do.
It's one of the reasons I like to read the forums. 
One thing I have noticed from the forums, is that guys do struggle to get their mind around this issue of "the liberated woman" and many do want an equal participant in the relationship, many express uncertainty with how to behave toward women in order to find this partner, and many are annoyed at the many "inconsistencies" they see in women's own attitudes toward being independent yet wanting differing degrees of consideration from men in a relationship (sometimes financial). I don't know how these forum attitudes correspond to the attitudes of the general public, but suffice it to say, you will find alot of the attitudes articulated in the forums in real life also, even if not in the same proportion.
I do think that the best way to explain all these inconsistencies that men are frustrated with, is to point out that all women are not created equal. Some are smart, some are not, some work hard, some don't, some are giving, some are selfish. etc. I simply think the notion of "feminism" is a totally false "ism" because it assumes all women are the same in talent and skill as well as share the same values and prize the same things in life. Women's numerous opportunities in the work force these days, only make the variety in attitudes bigger than before. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:54:57 PM | Are men with traditional dating etiquette more prone to adhere and believe in traditional gender roles as well?
I have to answer this question in the negative. A man who really likes a woman will do everything within his powers to treat her very well so that she feel like his adorable special lady during any date and afterwards as well. People tend to treat their special other generously because they want to do so and not because the special other is able to contribute toward the costs of the occasion. Men do so and women do so too; it is about giving the other a wonderful experience to remember in the future with a smile, and nothing more.
I know that some women feel uncomfortable when a man starts spending his money on them during a date, often because they are unsure of his motives. And maybe there are men with traditional dating etiquette who also believe in traditional gender roles. But I would be very reluctant to conclude that any man with traditional dating etiquette is mentally stuck in the dark ages with rigid gender role expectations. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:30:47 PM | Dear OP, are you asking the following (modifying your language just a tad) :
Do you believe that a man who adheres to traditional dating tenets will ALSO adhere to traditional gender roles?
If this is your question, my response is: perhaps, more than not. Dating practices and gender role expectations while related are not always in synch and with expectations, societial pressures and personal preferences ranging as they do many guys (but again not all) are confused. Over time, I've watched several men hesitate and fumble with something as simple as whether or not to open my car door or offer to pay on a first date. After talking about it, I find in each case that it was because they have been damned for doing either as well as not. So my observations render "generally speaking" impossible. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:41:09 PM |
Momarks,
You are right. I think we only differed on semantics. yes. this is most likely true
As for the guys posting complaining about having to pay, you are also right in your earlier post, since I date women, I can't really get any personal experience with how dating a different cross section of women feels. I am probably more likely to hang out with the same type of women as myself, and don't know what other "types" do.
i know what you meant to say. Some women on the various threads have commented that they had no idea what some other women were actually like. Or more specifically, how these women acted on dates. It was an eye-opener for many women.
Women who date men experience the same thing: all men are not all the same in the exact same proportion in the very same manner each and every time.
same is true for men and the women they date.
If you read the threads, there are numerous men and an numerous women who post that they are wonderful and all that.... Well, for the men and women who are complaining, they see these self-serving wonderful words and it doesn't match with their experience. lol...
It's one of the reasons I like to read the forums.
that may not be a wise choice but that option is yours to take if you so choose.
One thing I have noticed from the forums, is that guys do struggle to get their mind around this issue of "the liberated woman" and many do want an equal participant in the relationship, many express uncertainty with how to behave toward women in order to find this partner,
This is where you and I part company. I don't believe that the man or the woman should change their behaviour to suit the other person's wish list. This is fraught with peril. You BE the person you are and just go with that. What you are suggesting is that the person ACT in one way in order to GET the person. This "act " is self limiting as it is not sustainable. It is not in their nature if they are not "that way" in reality. The women who expect old fashioned gentlemen should not have to sit there and seeth in anger ( or not ) that the guy won't pony up the cash for dinner. That sort of thing is just setting us all up for yet another thread about going 60 clicks for a cup of coffee sort of thing.... She wants something different and shouldn't have to settle for less. She isn't kicking puppies . It is hurting no one.
The man should not have to change his behaviour in order to GET the girl. He should act the way he really is and go from there. If he is an absolute cretin, then he is out of the loop.
and many are annoyed at the many "inconsistencies" they see in women's own attitudes toward being independent yet wanting differing degrees of consideration from men in a relationship (sometimes financial).
I have tried to understand these guy's POV. Yet people being inconsistent is hardly a crime or even worth mentioning or complaining about. These same complaining guys are rarely consistent themselves. I am quite sure that many of these same guys who complain about women wanting their cake and eating it too hold the same double standard thinking that women who put out on the first date are cheap or whores . Or that women who make the first contact or make the first move are cheap and desperate. So I don't need to listen to these guys rant on and on about these women. Tell all the guys to give up that old fashioned thinking and THEN i will consider their arguments to have some merit.
I don't know how these forum attitudes correspond to the attitudes of the general public, but suffice it to say, you will find alot of the attitudes articulated in the forums in real life also, even if not in the same proportion.
NO ONE i know, complain about these things in anything near the amount that these men do.
I do think that the best way to explain all these inconsistencies that men are frustrated with, is to point out that all women are not created equal. Some are smart, some are not, some work hard, some don't, some are giving, some are selfish. etc. I simply think the notion of "feminism" is a totally false "ism" because it assumes all women are the same in talent and skill as well as share the same values and prize the same things in life. Women's numerous opportunities in the work force these days, only make the variety in attitudes bigger than before.
This has been said non-stop in all the threads. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:43:35 PM |
Do you believe that a man who adheres to traditional dating tenets will ALSO adhere to traditional gender roles?
Yes that is my exact question.
Dating practices and gender role expectations while related are not always in synch and with expectations, societial pressures and personal preferences ranging as they do many guys (but again not all) are confused.
I am getting that from several posters and have come to the conclusion that it is highly individualistic and can not necessarily be used to predict LTR behavior or expectations. I thought that it might have some correlation, but the general feedback I received from the posters who actually understood the topic was that the correlation is random at best. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:55:24 PM |
Why don't you answer my questions.
Olyman. What was your question and I will answer it if I can?
You see, people are having trouble with your "hypothesis" because it is so vast, yet so trivial.
Trivial is a matter of personal perspective and comprehension. If you think is it insignificant, then why do you read and post in this thread? Makes no sense to me. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:58:21 PM | The answer to this would be pure conjecture by everyone.
Most people already figured that you couldnt tell one from the other.
A person may think that they'd be the same but then...
So this may be why you didn't get the response you were after.
And several people remembered who you were and what you have posted elsewhere.
as you have said elsewhere- you can't escape your past history.
People took issue with the manner in which you presented it as your numbers were unsubstantiated.
then people took issue with you personally for the way you responded.
so .. i think a mirror is in order.
and yes.. I do have my own.. thanks..
makes no sense to me
free site. people are free to post or not post.. It's their choice to make. they can post if they wish. it is not up to you to decide that they can post or even question it if it is within the realm of reality . as that would be removing the person's option to respond. Since you have commented elsewhere about paying for dinners etc, you understand that you can't restrict a person's choices based upon your personal preference.
so people can post .
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:00:52 PM |
I have come to the conclusion that it is highly individualistic and can not necessarily be used to predict LTR behavior or expectations. Yup, and so it goes. There are no truths, no answers or winning formulas. Just as we are better off facing life one day at a time, so it goes with people. But the upside is: it keeps things interesting! | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:03:43 PM | [quote ]Yes, me - what of it?
... in these days of 'correctness' I'll be damned if I'll let A WOMAN tell me what to do
Well, dang, you sound like you want to drag me out in the parking lot and show me who's boss... which, ironically, doesn't sound very old-fashioned ladylike!  
I actually have no energy for or interest in telling anyone what to do; I'm too busy and happy running my own life.
The image of any person - man, woman, child - who isn't disabled or injured standing alongside a door they reach first and waiting for someone else to come and open it because tradition says it's the thing to do simply amuses me.
Have a happy evening, PretaPorter!  | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:27:13 PM | this thread is traditionally boring.
So is Etiquette.
why not save all that shit for the business meetings? unless etiquette and its uses are fun to you, then go for it.
do girls say to each other "I'm gonna go out and get me some Etiquette" ?
I dunno, for me Etiquette = stiff as a board.
but there is nothing wrong with being Cordial. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:33:39 PM | and just to prove my point about how much etiquette sucks here are the definitions
Cordial
1. courteous and gracious; friendly; warm: a cordial reception.
2. invigorating the heart; stimulating.
3. sincere; heartfelt: a cordial dislike.
4. Archaic. of or pertaining to the heart.
–noun 5. a strong, sweetened, aromatic alcoholic liquor; liqueur.
6. a stimulating medicine.
7. anything that invigorates or exhilarates.
Etiquette
1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
2. a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances.
3. the code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other: medical etiquette
I dunno, Etiquette is for use by businessmen and politicians. If you want to meet someone you might wanna fall in love with, you want to be dealing with someone whose soley out there to appease the masses? I suppose it really depends what your lookin for, but I figured datin was about findin something genuinely good, not mechanically practiced. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:41:39 PM |
...... I don't believe that the man or the woman should change their behaviour to suit the other person's wish list. This is fraught with peril. You BE the person you are and just go with that. What you are suggesting is that the person ACT in one way in order to GET the person. This "act " is self limiting as it is not sustainable. It is not in their nature if they are not "that way" in reality. The women who expect old fashioned gentlemen should not have to sit there and seeth in anger ( or not ) that the guy won't pony up the cash for dinner. .....
The man should not have to change his behaviour in order to GET the girl. He should act the way he really is and go from there. If he is an absolute cretin, then he is out of the loop.
two different ways of saying the same thing. You want a real person, not a polished actor.
Many people have had the awful experience of the person being initially wonderful- a true" gentleman" or "lady" only to discover much to their horror that it was all an act.
I dunno, Etiquette is for use by businessmen and politicians. If you want to meet someone you might wanna fall in love with, you want to be dealing with someone whose soley out there to appease the masses? I suppose it really depends what your lookin for, but I figured datin was about findin something genuinely good, not mechanically practiced.
well said franky.
as for the question- I doubt it. and then again, maybe yes... yet upon reflection... maybe no...
it isn't surprising that it varies according to the individual. Some thesis... | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:44:42 PM |
The women who are unabashedly oldstyle - who are honest about it and who who see no need to defend themselves- are enjoying life more than the majority of the rest of the women. This is my opinion. Their values are set, they appreciate these values and don't really care about what the rest of the people think.
That about says it all.
To the poster who wondered if traditional values meant missionary sex. Date a traditional man, you might be surprised and you probably wouldnt go back to the modern version. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:45:20 PM | And several people remembered who you were and what you have posted elsewhere.
It's true. I only bothered to read this post when I saw that it was a HappyG original. Probably the same goes for Olyman. I bet everyone wishes they had such a big fan club on POF. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:47:10 PM |
so .. i think a mirror is in order.
I agree. That goes for all of us.
So this may be why you didn't get the response you were after.
I wasn't looking for a specific response. Nor is there an underlying agenda like some people seem to suggest. I am perfectly happy with the response from the people who actually took time to understand and address the topic, even if they where not in line with my hypothesis.
People took issue with the manner in which you presented it as your numbers were unsubstantiated.
What is sad is all the people who got hung up on the numbers when the disclaimer where there. If I would have stated it as "more women than men" then nobody could have target the post. Unfortunately, not everybody understood the topic and hence resorted to comment on the only piece they thought they understood namely the numbers.
free site. people are free to post or not post.. It's their choice to make. they can post if they wish. it is not up to you to decide that they can post or even question it if it is within the realm of reality . as that would be removing the person's option to respond.
Olyman claimed that the thread was "trivial" in his opinion (which is an opinion he is more than welcome to have). Consequently, it is a very fair question to ask why he then is reading and posting in such an irrelevant thread. I will stand by that. Maybe you could help me understand how you were able to interpret that as a way to restrict opinions or postings? After all, that is your claim. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:53:06 PM | What is sad is all the people who got hung up on the numbers when the disclaimer where there. If I would have stated it as "more women than men" then nobody could have target the post. Unfortunately, not everybody understood the topic and hence resorted to comment on the only piece they thought they understood namely the numbers.
um.... have you ever realized that you are a bit abrasive in how you come across to others? how people may perceive you in a slightly different way than what you may wish? or do you even care?
I am not overly concerned about this nor am I upset. However I am aware that other people may read your comment and think..." gee.... "
do you often "rub people the wrong way"? or ..are you doing this on purpose to get a response?
Do you listen to your internal filter at all before you say or write something or just put it out there first and foremost and let it fall into place.. wherever it lands sort of thing.
I don't want people to think that you and I are fighting tooth and nail as there is always someone who thinks this when two people post responses.. then the usual complaint goes in....
but ... IRL.. does it happen to you a lot? Do people "misunderstand " you?
I am being sincere in this. If you want to talk... | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:57:00 PM | .....I Purr
Men, that do not have a clue what traditional means and are still asking for all the women to pay for the date are most likely raised in Middle America and looking for the completely modern woman. Definitely does not have traditional courting rules for dating or marriage. Has very modern view points, rarely open car doors, and buy flowers, entertain his boss, or plan large parties with invitations sent through the mail.
That's nothing but pure conjecture. And it borders on male bashing. If you did a recent thread search and read the recent posts (100's), you would see that there is a roughly an even split between traditional and progressive men. This issue has recently been roundly debated.
Your illusions perpetuate anecdotal myths:
1. Many progressive as well as tradition men open doors. Know why? Because it is common courtesy. Car doors, establishment doors, church doors, etc.
2. Many traditional and progressive men buy flowers and like to receive flowers.
3. It would be silly to think that only traditional men entertain their colleagues. Has nothing to do with traditional or progressive values, but everything to do with being competitive in the work world.
Your generalizations are just chocking the life out of reality. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:59:27 PM | HappGilmore2, I took once again a look at your question. I must agree with one of the poster who responds to you in this manner:
You see, people are having trouble with your "hypothesis" because it is so vast, yet so trivial.
I say that because in your previous posts you go a lot about beating around the bushes, but not saying very much either. Lots of words, not a lot of meaning. It also does appear to me there is lots of confusion about chivalry and extending it to modern world. Why not? Why make it so complicated? It can be extended and it is done in this world today.
You said:
But I do believe that some men will expect some level of traditional roles if chivalry is to be extended. On the same token, I know quite a few men (including myself) who struggle with the symbolism of chivalry in an equal world.
How does chivalry is in conflict with equal world? This is one of the reason there are so many break ups in relationship, because equality between genders does not translate to not being treated as a woman.
On the other hand I must say and admit the model of relationship you propose is quite possible but not for everyone. I mentioned earlier in my posts about attraction of opposite polarities this is what constitutes passionate relationship. But I know this model is not for everyone. You will see many couples who are very reserved, they operate on reason and are lacking passion, but that is what they are comfortable with. So it may very much be. But there is blurred distinction between feminine and masculine energies, she is very much like a man and he treats her like his buddy, if this is what you are seeking then it is fine. But you can't have both.... once the distinction between masculine and feminine polarities is blurred, the whole energy shifts, so to answer your question, of course it can be, but it is not for everyone.
Once the feminine and masculine energies neutralizes in a relationship, the relationship operates very much on a reason, there is no romance, passion ceases....but relationship can be very harmonious, not very satisfying for those of who seek passion in a relationship. | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:05:09 PM | I say that because in your previous posts you go alot about beating around the bushes, but not saying very much either. Lots of words, not a lot of meaning.
...once the distinction between masculine and feminine polarities is blurred, the whole energy shifts
Thanks for putting the conversation back into scientific terms. I often forget to measure the polarities and energies between myself and my man with my very scientific and precise energy-o-meter.
Side note: What is up with this POF obsession about who opens what door? If all doors were automatic, like at the K-Mart, do you think it might restore harmony between the sexes? Should we all just go on dates at K-mart? | |
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| Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs.
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:48:33 PM | 1. Many progressive as well as tradition men open doors. Know why? Because it is common courtesy. Car doors, establishment doors, church doors, etc.
Even though I have had my fill of "Who pays on a date", "who buys a round of drinks", "traditional women vs. gold-diggers" and all of the usual threads floating around lately on the same subjects. I will say amen to this quote.
Half of what everyone is debating ....to most people is called common courtesy.
I like when a man opens a door for me or pulls out a chair for me. Call me traditional. Fine.
I also sometimes hold the door open for my date if I happen to walk in first or I will hold the door for my mum's little 'ol church lady friends and I also pull out the chair for them. So what does that make me? Taditional? Independent? Feminst? Or what ever else I could be labeled as.
No, it simply means that I have respect for people.
Common courtesy and respect. Maybe if more people had it, the world would be a little better of a place to live in and people wouldn't read into the simple every day gestures and what they could possible mean. | |
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