| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:18:34 PM | """He was so convinced that he wanted to be with me and my children for the entire weekned. I doubted myself and I usually go by my gut. I found out within 2 days, that he was actually pissed I wouldnt let him be with us all weekend. Is this normal , to be so "in love" so quickly """
Oh my God! Is this a troll post? come on...Who cares what he thinks or how fast people fall in love? You have a lot, a whole lot, to learn about relationships before even thinking of dating again. I suggest you read every single thread in these forums. There will be a quiz tomorrow.
Here is RULE NUMBER 1: Maybe you have heard this a million times in your life already but forgot: NEVER BRING STRANGE MEN HOME TO MEET YOUR KIDS!!!
Rule number 2: Just because you fall in love doesn't mean you have to spend all weekend together does it?
Rule number 3: anyone who falls in love 100% on one date and wants to stay with your kids all weekend is a nutcase, and so is the woman he is dating. | |
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2627mj
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Joined: 7/20/2007
Msg: 27 | |
| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:44:27 PM | | I knew he was not right, that is why I said no. My kids are important to me. I am not dating him. It was one date. I am not a nut case even if it may have come across that way. I guess I was just trying to figure out why he attacked me so bad when I refused to have him go with us. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:53:22 PM | | Well I am highly offended that he would act this way!!! It is a good thing it wasn't me he went out with cuz I'd give him a reason to be mad at me (I often cut my nose off to spite my face) | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:30:20 PM | | RUN... Do not walk... to the nearest exit! | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:30:32 PM | | Please don't think it was you. It was definitly him. Sounds like your maternal instincts saved you. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:30:34 PM | | It is not love, when they get pissed. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:40:41 PM | Sound the alarm! A mental patient escaped and you found yourself on a date with him. You should've thrown a straight jacket on him and taken him back to the mental hospital where he belongs.  | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:59:51 PM | Are you kidding?
Run, not walk as fast as you can from this guy.
Minimally you have seen two or maybe even three red flags.
1. Declaring his love right off the bat (this would have me headin' to the hills) you don't even know each other. I just wanna know what your reaction was when he said this. Were you taken aback?
2. Your children. I don't think I need to go any further, do you?
3. You state that he became very angry? Angry? He shows anger issues obviously over something like this? He's a controller. To what degree you don't know yet. Do you seriously want to find out? If he became angry over this, then Ima wonderin' just how much anger he would exhibit over something serious? Makes one wonder in any event.
Some of us only get issued one "red flag" or none at all and here you've been given the gift of three red flags. I would take the "gift" and be thankful.
Edit: I just saw your response OP that you are not dating him...........thankfully. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:04:01 PM | | I think it is possible to be in love after meeting someone once, but you were right to not let him spend the weekend with your children. You are very justified. I think it is way too soon for him to meet your kids. He's pissed, too bad, he will get over it. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:04:20 PM | I'm with the Bandit on this one - sounds like he's either a ped, or someone forgot to 'slingshot' him his meds.
Either way - no more contact. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:16:29 PM | | RUN GIRL RUN.................... AND RUN REAL FAST | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:14:53 PM | | Go to Sex offenders dot com. This will give you those within your zip code. Does he live in your zip code? | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:17:16 PM | | Not only are you justified. The fact that he got pissed because you said no is a huge red flag. He obviously had no concern for you, only for himself. And to have invited himself to stay with you? OMG, what a freak. How could he not see that is crossing way over the line. I hope you're not still in contact with him. | |
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2627mj
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Joined: 7/20/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:57:43 PM | | I no longer speak to him. But before we stopped talking, he acted like the wounded victim because he said i did not give any effort to be with him and that we both lost. I was shocked by how he was looking at our brief encounter, he talked marriage and our children being wonderful together. He said anyone that stood between "our" happiness would regret being alive, he would destroy them. I have blocked him and deleted his number. I hope that is enough. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:02:04 PM | | Something seems very wrong, I'm glad that you didn't let him meet your kids. If he can't be respectful of your caution, especially when children are involved...then I doubt he would have respected any of your feelings ever. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:10:38 PM | | This dude sounds like a real jerk. Stay away from him. Place a restraining order if you have to. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:44:23 PM | | Not normal, but could be real. Just be careful. Most that fall fast do not last. They like the rust of falling in love, and when the emotions level, they search again. However, give him a chance. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:52:56 PM | You're totally justified, especially when there are kids involved. If the guy couldn't understand that, he's got some serious issues.
He may be infatuated or may be just be a totally obsessive type. Either way, I think you did the right thing for yourself and children by saying no. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:00:08 PM | "My boyz are 19 and 16 respectively....and, I would never introduce them to someone I had just met via the net or for that matter any other way. Although, my boys can easily hold their own...I just wouldn't do it. You're soooo justified."
Might I suggest that if you are dating men that your 19 and 16 year old sons can "hold their own" with perhaps you should be prospecting elsewhere. If you're talking about them holding something else then my apologies.
OT: Instant expectation of much more than a phenomenal boot knockin' indicates the entity in question is likely not of this world. That's the real one if you didn't know. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:38:19 PM |
Can anyone tell me if it is normal or even possible to have a competely 100% relationship with someone after meeting them once. I met a guy who believed he had found the "one". ME!! He was so convinced that he wanted to be with me and my children for the entire weekned. I doubted myself and I usually go by my gut. I found out within 2 days, that he was actually pissed I wouldnt let him be with us all weekend. Is this normal , to be so "in love" so quickly ? Or I am justified .
Meeting your kids should be entirely up to you and he should have no say in it. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:40:27 PM | | When people push for anything too soon, they strike me as either insincere or unstable. In the OP's case, the guy sounds unstable. Time to runnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!! LOL | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:46:27 PM | | can you spell lunatic? lunitic? lunnotic?loonatic? good gut reaction. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:47:47 PM | way too soon  . I'd be running too a female that I barely knew told me she loves me but knows nothing about me. | |
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| Too Soon!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:55:14 PM | It is not normal behavior but it is possible depending on the personality, and beliefs, of the two people involved. There is a lot of relevant information that is not contained in your post, or is brought up in later posts.
Such as:
1) How long you were communicating before meeting him. 1 week, 5 years?
2) Did he communicate his desires to enter immediately into a LTR, or marriage, before you physically met him? Was he honest in what he wanted before hand?
3) Did he suggest he and his children spend the weekend with you and your children?
4) Was it important that your children be brought along (to him) or do you have joint custody and the only times you mutually have to date are when you have the children? Or some similar situation.
5) Were you going on a trip or to a special event and ever mentioned it would be nice to have him (or someone) there to share it with?
6) Did he ask to spend the entire weekend (24/7) or just days? Such as "Let's all go to the fireworks show, and tomorrow we can have a picnic, maybe Sunday I can go to church with you."
You are morally and ethically justified if his behavior is not what you wish to experience so you removed yourself from potentially future occurrences of that behavior and let him know you will not accept any advances. | |
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