| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:52:56 PM | OP It was merely one example of how age differences can matter; not that being clubbing age was imperative. ;)
I can toss a rock and hit Canada, so am well aware of the legal drinking age ~ lol. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:22:23 PM | Did you know that 34% of older women (40 +) want a relationship with men 10 years younger? I know I do. Check out http://ca.dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/23981/whats-behind-the-trend-of-women-dating-younger-men
A psychologist who was interviewed for this article stated that if a couple love each other, communicate and problem solve well, age matters not. In this case, the issue was older women/younger men. But I believe the importance of compatibility is paramount in any age discrepancy. And if other people don't approve....TOUGH! | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:22:51 PM | Since we are all blessed with the freedom of our own "opinions" ......
I will venture to say that from 18 on , age is just a number. One because you're legal so, from that age on you are solely responsible and liable as well, for your choices and decisions. Those which we make will inspire us with our life lessons.....if you can't take something away from it all and learn to either do it again or , not....... then what have you learned?
The moral of the story? heheheheeh!!!!
If you can't learn from what you've decided and keep going back making the same "mistakes"...... again, and again......
if when your feet hit and you haven't gained some kind of knowledge from your day............
crawl back under covers and stay there!!!! hehehehehe!!!!!
With each year of your precious life you will have become more mature.  | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:23:22 PM | | At my advanced age (just kidding!) of 57, age is one of the very least of my concerns when it comes to meeting a man. Age is much more an issue, the younger you are. As you get older, it really starts to matter less and less. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:31:18 PM | I am trying to figure out what your problem is. Is your problem that you want to date older men and they aren't interested in you? If that is the case, then they aren't the men for you.
I started working at 15 and at 16 was dating a 23 year old. I am not going to pretend that I was as mature as I am now at 15 or 16, but I did grow up fast. Maturity really is individual. Some guys that are 29 are more mature than men that are 44. I say this from my personal dating experience of late I really am more concerned with men telling me the truth right now.
Just worry about enjoying yourself and working on your career and future. If you are doing things that are important to you and you meet someone doing them, that is great. Enjoying each other's company is more important than the years they have lived. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:07:06 PM |
Now my question is How important is age to you and whats your thought on age differncesin dating.
It is only an issue if you, or the other, make it an issue.
But do realize, no matter how mature you think that you are, it does not prepare you for real life. Not interested in going to the bar’s or clubs does not have anything to do with maturity, but it is really smart of you.
Biologically, the brain reaches maturity at about the age of 25. So you are going to have to depend on your smarts. I would recommend that you stay single. There are way too many young women out there screwing up their lives because they want to be grown up. Babies are awesome, but the reality is, you do not have a choice in taking care of them, which means that you sacrifice parts of your social life, school life, and work life in order to meet their needs.
Check out female profiles here on POF and make notice on how many of them are young single mothers. They are not single by choice. Men, most usually, are not ready to be parents until they reach their thirties. Men get in over their heads, the relationship turns negative, too much to handle, and then they bale out. Use extreme caution, because no matter what a man may say, if he gets in over his head and can’t handle it, he runs.
Stay single. Stay away from sex. Get yourself an education, then a good job, then analyze which man is right for you. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:21:48 PM | I think you are very hung up on age... and as long as you are your not very mature. As others here have replied age becomes less a concern over what is really important. Those who say date within three years are locked into a view of what is appropriate versus what they want in a partner or friend.
Other cultures outside North America are not so hung up on age. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:46:39 PM |
Other cultures outside North America are not so hung up on age.
This is not always true from what I see. :)
Beside, I know what I want in a partner, one thing it to experience life stages together. If he is 29 and I am 18 we will always be at different point in our lifes.
SMall example, I am 18 and I do not want children for many year. If I date 29 year old, that may be problem. Many other differents between ages that I do not look for in a partner. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:11:32 PM | | Okay for me age is important. I'm in my 30's and just would not feel like I could have that much in common with someone in their 20's or 50's. To be honest, some one in their 20's would feel like they were with their aunt or mom. Just like if I dated someone in their 50's or older, I'd feel like I was dating my dad. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:12:10 PM | "life stages" That's why age is more than just a number. It somewhat, not totally, determines what life stage you are in and if that is too different, it makes for a very tough relationship. I myself am mid-career, young children... I have no desire to be with someone who is already moved on to the grandchildren/retirement phase, nor do I want a man who hasn't yet had any children and will likely want babies in the future. Basically, I want someone who is pretty much moving along life's path at about the same pace as me and, statistically, there is an age range in which that will be found, outside of which it is very unlikely. For reasons such as that, age does matter.
18 is SOOOOO young. I know you don't feel it now (sadly only hindsight will enlighten you) but trust me, just enjoy being young right now and stop worrying so much about men. Concentrate on you and your education/career right now. Determine your life path and you'll meet the right person along it. If you wait and try to jump on someone else's life path, you could have a miserable life ahead. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:18:35 PM |
Kychik33.. the guy above that said 18 yo's are idiots!! Especially the males!!
Well.... no_1_bby .... I was referring to the last sentence from SKAJ where he said why not date guys her own age (just as I referred to in the last part of the sentence you quoted me on).... not the rest of his post. I certainly don't think all 18 year olds are idiots.... I have an 18 year old son. I'm sure he makes some "not so smart" decisions from time to time... but in no way do I think he's an idiot. (with that being said.... I sure am glad he's dating a nice girl one year younger than he is)
And I think basically you and I seem to agree on the age difference :) | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:18:33 AM | | i dont place a lot of emphasis on dating..i do place emphasis on it..but not a whole lot..but then again, you cant help who you fall for, or can you?..Either way, in most cases I see age as just a number.. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:22:00 AM |
SMall example, I am 18 and I do not want children for many year. If I date 29 year old, that may be problem. Many other differents between ages that I do not look for in a partner
very good point | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:44:10 AM | | OP I think it's each to their own when it comes to age preferences. So long as you respect that some people might prefer older or younger people you shouldn't have a problem. Most people with age preferences will state it in their message filters or profile. I personally prefer slightly older men than myself because I think age can be character building. That isn't to say that some younger guys can't be mature for their age, but I still don't personally find them attractive. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:19:07 AM | | I read about 19 or 20 responses to your question... many good points... some missed the point. Where those who focused on age differences, and either negative or positive issues associated with those differences, they failed to acknowledge that relationships are initiated in a certain environment (i.e. clubs with clientelle in the 25 to 35 year old range, college fraternities, workplaces, etc.). Ask yourselves ... if you spot an attractive woman (or man) and she or he fits or complements your personality and experiences, makes you laugh or turns you on in some way, will you unregrettably walk away for no other reason than an age difference of 5, 10, 15 years or more? At the age of 19, I fantasized about my 30-year old college English teacher... if I wasn't such an idiot thinking about age differences, I would have asked her out then. 6 years later, we met again, and I asked... we clicked, dated and loved each other for well over two years before she was killed in a car accident. From that day forward, I vowed never to let age differences be a selection factor for dating and delay the probability of finding Ms. Right. I say expand your circle of friends and don't expect them to follow the same standards you yourself cannot or will not adhere to. You may just find your true love floating around somewhere in that circle. Let not age rule your choice lest the years advance and time is lost. Valuman. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:57:03 AM | I have to say that age doesnt really matter in the short term.....but big age differences in a long term relationship can lead to problems, particularly late in life.
Age is just a number..we all feel different inside..its the inner age that matters.
I do think it is a personal preference too. I also have to agree that the older you are , the less age matters.
The only problem being 18 with an older person, is that you do evolve over the next 5 years...and sometimes you can change to be a differner person...your likes and dislikes can change...your outlook on life. So you could say that a person the same age will evolve with you, where as the older person has already arrived there. Could cause differences???
But of course at any age we are evolving......maybe thats why relationships fail sometimes...two people change in opposite directions rather than together? | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:12:41 AM |
When I was 18 I was an idiot, all my friends were idiots, and we all did idiotic things.
Too damn funny! Heck Im 47 and still act like an idiot at times, seems my idiocracies tend to surface around a good looking guy.
Age is what you make of it. If you want to think some one is too old or young for you, youll have yourself convinced in no time that he/she is too young/old. Experience whatever this world has to offer you, draw conclusions after meeting someone, dont draw anything upon their age or typos!
Its all about opportunity** | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:54:24 AM | On POF, I do not put any age restrictions up, because like most regulars in the forums, I will talk to people of all ages and both genders. For dating however, I have a general rule, if he is closer to my mother's age than to my own or closer to my daughter's age than my own, there probably will be little chance of things developing beyond friendships.
Did you know that 34% of older women (40 +) want a relationship with men 10 years younger?
This does not surprise me at all. I haven't dated anybody older than me in years. I did not even realize that all my dates were younger until I sat and thought about it one day. It is not that I have been consciously seeking guys younger, but the best connections have come with men a few years younger. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:29:06 AM | | in my experience as long as there is not a big spead in age. I was 42 and dating a 29 year old and we got along well but the age spread was an issue. we had a lot of fun but when it came to just sitting and talking we had a hard time connecting . she was too young to understand how things were when i was young as the world was much different then. music taste were much different and most of the bands that I like were playing well before she was born. I guess that was really the only thing wrong with the relationship was connecting when just sitting around and chatting. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:49:14 AM | | Age is important to a certain degree I guess. I would never date anyone younger then me or even someone my age. I prefer a man to be at least 10 years older then me. So Yeah I guess age is important. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:17:25 AM | | I'm 52 and comfortable with 5 years difference either way. I want to be in 'the same place' in life as my partner. | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:18:13 PM | I think one has to look at it on a person-to-person basis and not make sweeping generalizations (although it is sometimes hard).
I personally prefer older guys and I would be hesitant to look for someone the same age or younger b/c of the idea that they are going to be X way....however, I am still open and still willing to see what that particular person has to offer and not cut them off because of their age, as I know I am atypical based on my age and I wouldn't appreciate someone assuming they know how I am just because they know my age.
Age can be just a number. And that goes for young and old alike...not because one is 38 means one is automatically mature and all the other expected behaviors of 38 year olds and not because one is 18 means one is immature, idiotic, etc. | |
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ils99
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 48 | |
| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:00:35 PM | | Considering my age, I'd only date guys aged between 19 (if he's mature for a 19 yo) and 23, maybe 24 if there's something extra that makes him worthwhile. I don't like the idea of a huge age gap at my age, I think a gap bigger than 4 or 5 years is just a little too much. But other women my age might disagree, that's just my opinion. | |
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ils99
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 49 | |
| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:10:40 PM | And another thing someone pointed out. Even with a 5 year age gap, goals in life still need to be considered. I'm currently studying at uni in my second year, whereas most guys I've met who are in their early 20s have already secured a job and no longer studying. In some cases, the mindset of a man in his middle-late 20s may be that he's seriously considering settling down and starting a family. I certainly don't want to start a family any time soon, at least not in the next 5 years or so.
Age may not be important for some couples if they love each other, but its something I can't ignore. Way I see it is, there are plenty of guys around my age to date, so why search for someone to date who's much older than me? | |
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| Age? How important is it?
Posted: 3/26/2009 5:20:35 PM | I agree with valuman.
I think that if very strict limitation regarding age or other characteristics are slavishly adhered to, many good men (and I'm speaking from my point of view) will be ignored.
If one casts a wide net there are more choices available.
I think that extremes in age present problems that may be insurmountable, eg. 60 vs 20. But I don't think that'sthe extreme most of us are considering.
Any two people of any age can be very compatible, depending on their individual needs, preferences, etc. As ages increase their seems to be much less importance to age or example, 20/40 is a little extreme but sexual proclivity may decrease more rapidly for the older partner. It's likely that the younger will be a widow or widower, health problems may also separate but, given the particular individuals, these may not be prime considerations. No of this should or need be a stopper but should be rationally considered.
Then consider the case of an older man and a younger woman. The man has a great deal of experience in most areas of life. He's made his mistakes and learned from them. He is generally patient and understanding. He perhaps feels less sexual pressure but is usually a very patient, tender ,playful lover who is interested in pleasing his partner.
An older man also offers the advantage of being financially secure, high in his profession and has time to travel, do sports, play.
Now these are generalizations.....always exceptions...but that's what meeting is all about. How would one know unless by meeting? Otherwise fine women who have firm cutoff ages are really shortchanging themselves. And with these net sites, there's really nothing to lose and perhaps much to be gained by paying less attention to absolute age differences.
A further vignette: I'm 67 and several years ago I was traveling in Thailand. My plane landed in the wee hours and I had to wait for the room to be prepared. I sat on a sofa in the lobby and got into a conversation with a young Thai woman who was also waiting for her room to be repared. We went or breakfast, started to have a nice conversation, took a long walk, talked a lot and, when the rooms were ready decided to cancel hers and stay in mine. Since that time we've had a very loving loving relationship, albeit long distance. I try to get there a couple of times a year and we write a lot. I don't have to "talk down" to her, she's very intelligent and very attractive, physically and personally. The point here is that she's now 35 and I'm now 67. And it doesn't seem to make a bit of difference to either of us.
So it seems to me that using an age cutoff as a strict criteria can be self defeating. | |
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