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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:31:34 PM | Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
(I'm just going to answer your question without reading the body of your post; I'm lazy today.)
If it's a choice ("or"), then I vote subtle for myself. I don't want to find myself asking myself questions like "Do I like the looks of t his woman in front of me, or am I rather gay for that?" or "This woman's divorced, but her husband's till alive. She goes on dates. Does the Vatican know about this? Do I burn in Hellfire for ever and ever, amen, for having an erection when she licked the doorknob as we walked in?", or "is this a man or a woman in front of me? I wonder if she'd be willing to remove her make-up before I removed her clothes."
Yes, give me subtle sometimes, but never ambiguous. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/10/2008 1:20:55 AM | OP
This is the difference between men and women when it comes to the emotion of attraction.
Most women think the entire deal is all about the lead up and the tension. Most guys think this is the necessary crap we have to go through in order to get what we want...the end point. For me it is just the price of admission. 
I guess that really is the only fair part of attraction. A guy who understands the emotion of attraction can get any woman's wheels spinning no matter what the guy looks like but if the gal doesn't look good enough to put that effort out they just won't. And the nice guys b!tch how unfair things are? | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/10/2008 4:19:39 AM |
A guy who understands the emotion of attraction can get any woman's wheels spinning no matter what the guy looks like
I hate to, but I need to differ with you, SoCalGuy. I am an emotional dynamo; women flock to me at parties and hang on every word I say. I am also 5'4" and 210 lbs; I've been forced into celibacy because of this when I gave up smoking and gained 60 lbs seven years ago.
This crap about women not caring about the looks of the guys is a false theory. They do, actually, and very much so.
I wish you were right, I really do, you can understand that, I hope. But you're wrong, unfortunately, especially so for me. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/23/2008 4:20:43 PM | Yeah wanting sex..is just sex and sure why not get right in there and do it if sex is the only need you have.
But if a woman who is looking for more than just sex (because you know you can get laid just going out to the bar and picking someone up) getting right into it isn't quite what she needs.
So avoiding the sex and waiting is trying to get to know you and have a relationship but getting right into it without getting to know each makes it hard to go backwards and a tease to say well now no sex let's get to know each other??? That would be damn cruel!! So as quick as it starts it ends just as quick. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:20:54 PM | It's probably the most exciting part of the whole thing. Before, you've no idea the woman is even on the radar. After you "consummate", you know she likes you. But in-between, the time when it's all just building up, that's the part that makes it all the most fun. It's elusively obvious that there's attraction, but it's kind of suspended in mid-air. Fun stuff  | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:07:58 PM | I like it when things just fall into place cuz that's where they belong.
Rules and books about rules can kiss my butt.
I am not impressed by anyone who tries to influence me by trying to figure out what behavior I will respond to best. No one ever won me over by holding out for sex. No one ever won be over by handing it over immediately. No one ever won be over by trying to do what they think will work on me. To win me over a person just needs to be them self and flow with the moment as it unfolds naturally.
I am impressed by women who can simply rise above it all, ditch the manipulative control tactics an just walk into my life and fit in a calm comfy fashion just as they are an allow me to do the same. Or even not.
Trying to play the dating game like its some Machiavellian political process where everyone involved is trying to lobby for their own point of view is about as far from love and respect as it gets. How tiring is it to find out who someone is three months after you been hangin out with them cuz they finally dropped their guard and acted like themselves?
Who in their right mind would use sex, or lack thereof, as bait for a long term relationship? Sex is bait for sex. That's all. Weather you bait by giving sex of bait by withholding it, sex is simply bait for sex and everything else evolves independently of it that bait. After that it's just a matter of personal preference. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:58:39 PM |
My question for this thread is this: Do any of you guys actually enjoy that period in between realizing a woman has some kind of interest in you, but you are not 100% sure when your relationship is going to be consumated?
No. She can tell me one way or the other or else get lost. Games are for idiots.
Do you enjoy savoring the mystery of attraction and all the conflicting feelings it starts to get going in you?
There is nothing to savor in a contrived mystery. I have better things to do in my life than play silly games. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:59:28 AM | | OP it's not about insecurity it's about cutting through the BS. It's much better when everyone is straight forward. If you don't want to sleep with me today, tell me. If you don't think you'll ever want to sleep with me, tell me that too. But lay it on the line. Having to guess and bob and weave and wonder if games are being played makes dating a hassle it's not supposed to be. If I'm out for a lay that night being upfront can save everyone time. If I'm not out for a lay that nigth being upfront can save everyone some time. It works either way. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:35:57 AM | I'm in the "Never hit on by women" group (with the possible exception of the girl that grabbed my behind when I was 12) so I can't really relate. Well, and then there was that waitress last week that kept touching me... What was up with that - hey I should post a forum! :)
But to answer this one, I'd prefer there to be clear signs. Don't mind the waiting - it's the uncertainty that will lead to no that gets me every time. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:22:35 AM | | I don't think men are capable of any kind of intimacy or realization someone is hitting on them. I had a man on Yahoo asking me the meaning of LOL, yw (you're welcome) and the definition of cum. I am sorry but if you don't know cum, orgasm, sperm, sex, how could one even expect this level of ignorance come up to any level of realization someone is interested in them or someone actually wants them intimately? That mind is not capable. A man caring about having sex or enjoying a time of attraction?? It's not possible and if a man is middle-aged, clueless on sex, and what is there to look forward to for him if he needs a dictionary for definition? Nothing. | |
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| Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:37:13 AM | Well here is a brilliant idea if the signals are subtle then trai yourself to look out for them rather than come out with what most men say as "tell us". I agree with the tell us line only if there are NO signals at all
As for the original question, i absolutely enjoy the time spent realizing a girl has an interest in me, its an absolute buzz where you find out reciprocation of your desires is confirmed 
I also dont mind if things dont get "right down to business" sex for me isnt a major deal breaker, its nice but i would rather sit there having a long cuddle with lots of kissing a lot more than a fumble if given the choice right now | |
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