| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:11:38 AM | Oh, sweetie, he didn't feel the chemistry. That happens sometimes and it's the reason I place so much importance on meeting face-to-face as soon as possible. Don't give up, there are many nice men on the site. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:15:20 AM |
we were writing for close
to 5 years and it endly suddenly
I see this happen over and over again. Maybe not 5 years, but so many people become enamored with an idea they made in their own heads of the other person that has very little to do with reality.
So to everyone beginning to engage in internet dating, meet as soon as possible. Anything that transpires before the meet goes out the window. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:22:14 AM | well, outmind - i agree about meeting much much sooner than later - meet as soon as you both get the feeling you want to meet in person - but please don't throw everything out the window from before the meet automatically - 'cuz if you get along and actually see a seed planted of perhaps liking each other in person - then having those early emails and contact, for me, is quite fun to see where it all started, actually.
EDIT to add: to post below - no, he didn't do anything or say anything obvious to make her think it was her, alas, because he didn't tell her anything at all in terms of a reason he was calling the date short, some people automatically do start to wonder if it was them.....
sometimes not saying anything is actually far more hurtful than just saying the truth...cuz we can be so dramatic in our imaginations!
by the way, please know i do not support the insult of the poster who wrote the 'gutless human' post. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:22:17 AM | >> He is a gutless human being for not being up front with you.
Sorry , but there's two sides to this. You can say he's a gutless human being for not being up front with you and you can also say he's a caring person for not saying exactly that he thinks which might have been very negative.
I more fault the person who doesn't simply understand that "Please excuse me" means "I'm not interested" and to not take it personally. That person is more naive and needs to make a change moreso than the "gutless human being ".
Why would he have to say "I'm sorry, this isn't working, I have to leave."? Does that add anything? It doens't...not a bit.
If he just stood up and left that would've been one thing but that's not what happened.
"I hate when people do this and make you feel like
its you"
He didn't say anything to indicate that. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:32:35 AM | To jeannielady,
This man did not feel it for you, ever! It happens to all of us. It certainly did happen to me and more than once, but I don't waste my time dwelling on it!. I move on pretty quickly and that is the thing to do. There are enough fish for everybody in this pond !
You can't force feelings or chemistry. Having said that, he could have been upfront with you and not drag this out for 5 years. He knew he didn't feel it. Then again, you didn't have to waste all that time on him either, that meeting should have happened 5 years ago! I hope you've seen other men during that time! What do you think he's been doing all these years?
If a man can't make up his mind about meeting you in the next few weeks after you start emailing he 's not really interested and certainly doesn't deserve all of your attention. Keep on emailing if you want to but don't expect his feelings will change , they won't, and keep seeing other men. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:21:31 AM |
It was today the most beautiful and sunny day I had met a man who lives about 2 hours away at a mall
suddenly about an hour passed and he told
me is it okay he has to leave. Am I alright with that? I told him I understand
obligations but before this happenned he wanted to go out to sightsee some lakes and floral gardens
He wanted you to give him car sex.
well, when we did not find a place to go to and
sight see he wanted to go hugged me goodbye and that was it.
After spending an hour with you, he decided to leave because you were not going to get in the car with him so you were not going to give him car sex.
I tried calling him that
evening monday but no response back. So, now it leaves me wondering I was dressed nice, did not say anything negative or wrong, smiled and enjoyed myself and was very polite to him.
He is not answering the phone because he is sulking why because you did not give him what he wanted you to give him and that was car sex. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:55:19 AM |
then having those early emails and contact, for me, is quite fun to see where it all started, actually.
I didn't mean to literally throw them away. Rather, that they don't count to the outcome. Now with that said, I do keep my emails of how a particular relationship evolved. | |
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| After one date the man disappears for no reason
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:01:04 AM | re: posts 31 and 32 - really? is it so obvious he left because she did not 'give him sex', or sleep with him in that first hour?
gosh - guess i really am that naive - or meeting quite a different crew - or maybe it's just plain human frustration and expectation after 5 years of conversing?
i truly had no idea that should have been the automatic assumption.
hmmm, well, i guess she was not polite enough after all. | |
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