| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:34:03 PM | Taks some ballroom dance classes or Argentine Tango classes or salsa classes. There is always more women than men in dance classes. It is a wonderful asset for a man to have and women will love you for it. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:44:28 PM | | Start by changing your profile. At nineteen you sound very stiff, as if you were already 50 years old. Also don't say that you're not this or that or the other.... Say what you are. But say what separates you from everybody else. Also, realize that most people your age have a better chance live and in the internet. Unless is MySpace or the other place like that. Then go out there. Learn all you can learn about social dynamics. And have fun. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:46:32 PM |
I have heard about this "the Game" I have never read the books, but if its for sale for all those countless men who is fustrated on not getting women, WRITTEN by a man. Then obviously, its all one horsehit scam to get rich fast.
Obviously you've never read through any of these books. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:39:32 PM | You dont have other ways of meeting women , except online???
I think you might be a little passive here.
Try going out.. to the library, coffee shops.. wherever, we're all over the place!! | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:07:01 PM | | I agree...its a process..but..dont loose sight of enjoying your day...keep a smile on your lips..its the best accessory...Dont sweat any of it...and..dont take any thing too seriously (at your age especially) ..I am 48...and feel awkward too...But..read any thing you choose..but apply it to your life and to your heart...not all women will play games...just like not all men do..Judge us all by our own merit... and..be able to hear that small still voice inside..those are the red flags and stuff telling us to watch out..just might save a few bad things if we listen..then..we wont set our selves up for a let down...Good luck...but..life is all ahead of you...do any thing..but..doing nothing will never work...cya... | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:13:52 PM | The sad truth is that You_Cannot_Handle_Me is right. I haven't read the 2 books he has mentioned but I do have a downloaded e-book that is of just the same nature. Though I have read it, I so far have refused to follow it even though I know it will work. I have a good friend of mine who is over 30 and this guy gets more girls then anyone I have ever seen in my life! I watch girls fall for the dumbest tricks in the book and get hurt. I tried to warn a few and they only shunned me off not believing me and got me into trouble with him. The most ironic thing about it is that he is not one of those steroid shooting muscle heads that look like models. He's not that good-looking at all and even has a beer gut. But he can make anyone laugh and absolutely loves attention and can make the whole room have all eyes on him.
You should see these girls. They come around while I am hanging out with him. Instead of talking to me and coming out with me, they go out with him where he breaks their hearts and uses them for sex. He's one of those guys that convinces a girl to have one night stands with him even though they are not the type.
Maybe I should go back to my bad-boy self. But even when I was a total bad-boy when I was younger, I still never cheated and my relationships lasted years.
This whole thread makes me sad. It's all Psychological. That's what the book is about and it explains that nice guys are boring. What You_Cannot_Handle_Me says is the truth at least here in America where I am from. I have absolutely no doubt that if I were to lower myself to do everything this book told me to do, I would have girls coming out my ears. But I don't feel right about it.
I think You_Cannot_Handle_Me should bring this guy Evan out to some bars or something. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:47:22 PM | Yes, GourmetChef, he is young...so why start him down the wrong path from the get-go? How about telling him to be himself, instead of teaching him to play games? I know that's a revolutionary notion in this day and age, but it just makes more sense to me.
And as for giving up after one phone call...If I call and leave a message for someone to call me back, I'm not going to keep trying to call them, unless I know there's some reason why they might not have called back. Otherwise, the ball is in his court. Calling someone over and over feels stalkerish to me, and I figure if someone wants to talk to me, they'll either answer the phone or call me back. By the time I give someone my phone number, he's got more than one way to get in touch with me, so I figure if someone is interested, I'll hear from him. If I don't, then I assume he's not, and I'm not chasing after someone who isn't interested.
Unfortunately for some of you, some of US have also read the whole "Make Her Chase You" thing, and it doesn't work on all of us.
As for me being angry, I've got a date Thursday night with someone I think I like a whole lot. I don't have any anger, I just think all the "Games" BS is just that. BS. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:56:40 PM | | Wow! I think you hit the nail on the head with this one... the perfect answer. Good work and good luck Evan. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:05:25 PM | "Obviously you've never read through any of these books."
Well if all you guys have read these books, and they are "solid gold" advice, why are you all single? Seems to me like you'd have women knocking your doors down to get at you, if what you learned in the books really work. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:20:48 PM | if you give up after 1 e-mail/phone call..then i gotta say you have the patience of an ant..
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a manifestation of a very fast moving medium with many options available. He/she who hesitates is lost.....unless, of course, intense feelings quickly develop....and that's not often the case. I can think of only 2 instances of the at least 30 men whom I've met offline for whom I have developed any kind of intense feelings prior to meeting.....as in intense enough to hold my attention for more than a few Emails. I imagine this is pretty common with most other onliners too. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:39:18 PM | | join a cooking class, or a book club, or a co-ed sports team. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:11:22 AM |
You talk about fully mature women and tell the OP to read "The Game" in the first post is funny, actually. "The Game" won't work on "fully mature women."
The OP doesn't want to date 30+ fully mature woman he is only 19 and I have yet to meet a fully mature 19 year old girl or younger.
And teaching him how to attract girls has nothing to do with how to call her on the phone, only how to get her phone number in the first place.
Guys don't want to play games I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go up any girl I thought was attractive and say "Hi I like you! Want to go out sometime just give me your phone number and I'll swear I'll call you tonight to set it up."
And yes it will work 5% of the time but still 4% will get board how dull the guy is and give the line "I like you but not in that way, can we just be friends?"
Mostly any guy approaching honestly and directly will be meet with "Thank you...but (excuse) your not my type, I don't know you, who the hell are you, I'm really busy, I don't give my number out to strangers, I have a boyfriend, I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now, I can't go out because I'm washing my hair."
If the girls 30+ can remember the guys they went out with when they were 18-25 years old they would know that each guy was outgoing, charismatic, humorous, and most of all Confident which had other girls interested in him because he had alpha-male qualities. Now picture the opposite a guy who is shy, self-conscious, introverted, likes to stay in watch movies, never speaks up for himself, at your beck and call, showering you with gifts and complements to gain your affection like a puppy.
Which 1 of these guys did you go out with the most when you were 18-25 the fun alpha-male or the Nice Boy?
PLEASE BE HONEST... thank you and "The Game" is about being social adapt to get a girlfriend in the first place not to cheat on a girlfriend it is just male selfishness that makes him do that not psychology books. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:19:53 AM | | Dude... you look like freakin harry potter. Get some glasses and the girls will flock to you XD | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:22:00 AM | Well if all you guys have read these books, and they are "solid gold" advice, why are you all single? Seems to me like you'd have women knocking your doors down to get at you, if what you learned in the books really work.
The only guy who read the books will not use the knowledge is JasonGrimm because his friend in my oppinion is a using, selfish a$$hole, but does not mean all guys who learn all about the women's minds is this way.
And the 1 who knows about women is not single and I'm only on here to find friends and to help the NICE GUYS GET THE GIRL THEY WANT and not the A$$holes.
Since OBXchick is thinking all guys who want to know how to talk to women are like every other guy she liked but didn't want her the same way. It's not just women who get used and have one sided attraction to the opposite sex, men get used all the time and lose allot more then getting there hearts broken and time lost, but end up some times spending allot of money on them.
I'm not a player I don't cheat, and I have fallen in love with more than one girl but they would never return my interest because I didn't have any clue what to do to gain her attraction, interest and love when I was younger. So what I do is help the guys do that, SO WE ALL CAN BE HAPPY!
Beleive it or not... Women came up with the Rules of the Dating Game, do you think a man invented PLAYING HARD TO GET? A man never wants to Play Hard to Get, a girl needs to feel wanted and never easy especially in a social area she has to maintain her Value and not look like a slut in the eyes of the public. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:33:47 AM |
If the girls 30+ can remember the guys they went out with when they were 18-25 years old they would know that each guy was outgoing, charismatic, humorous, and most of all Confident which had other girls interested in him because he had alpha-male qualities. Now picture the opposite a guy who is shy, self-conscious, introverted, likes to stay in watch movies, never speaks up for himself, at your beck and call, showering you with gifts and complements to gain your affection like a puppy.
Which 1 of these guys did you go out with the most when you were 18-25 the fun alpha-male or the Nice Boy?
That is so not true. I dated and married a geek when I was only 22. Unfortunately the marriage only lasted a few years. At 26 I met another guy that was a geek and lived with him for 7 years. I typically only dated that type. I liked them shy and quiet because I was too. It's all about about finding the right type of person for yourself and for us more homebody types it can be challenging to try and meet others like ourselves. Most of the geeks I know found partners at early ages as well and many of them are still married. That's a big problem for me now that I'm older, lol.... the good ones all found their partner at an early age and are still married. :) | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 4:30:00 PM | I met my ex when I was 19 and married him at 20. I had my first child at 22 and my second at 24. So I didn't do a whole lot of "dating" between 19 and 25. I was married for 18 years, and believe me when I tell you, I was the mature one in our marriage. At 45, my ex still hasn't grown up.
As far as guys I liked but they didn't like me the same way, I've only been dating for about two years, and so far? There haven't been any that I've lost any sleep over...yet anyway. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:08:45 PM | I haven't read Strauss' "The Game" but I did look at some of his on-line schtick. I don't recommend the relationship manipulation part of his schtick, but lots of what he states about relationship stages are true. What you can learn from his "techniques" is how to recognize when you are moving from one stage to another in a relationship. It helps remove doubt about what the lady is feeling, you get a better feel for her feelings. Strauss will teach you how to have a gameplan if you are totally clueless. Best advice I can offer to a guy is to be yourself, get out there and try to meet ladies, get some experience to see what works and what doesn't work for you, then concentrate on doing what works for you. Good luck.  | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:54:11 PM | why are you all single?
Great question. Unfortunately, meeting and dating isn't an issue...the problem is too many who are broken, who are cowering under some deep, dark secret and haven't dealt with what troubles them most. Y'see, the real game playing is not what is being said, it's what isn't being said until after the initial several dates and the emotional commitments are beginning to happen.
I won't say the doors have been knocked down, but I have no problem meeting and getting dates, having relationships...seizing the opportunity to see if there is a possible connection. When I read about guys that have had 4 first dates in a year I'm amazed...I've had that many in a weekend. With the right understanding, it is stupidly easy to have the conversations that lead to the first dates that lead to the opportunities...I'm not sure what is so wrong with that. Can you explain it to me?
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:01:12 PM |
Dude... you look like freakin harry potter. Get some glasses and the girls will flock to you XD
Bro, and to top it off, he has a magic wand too! | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:29:37 AM | When I read about guys that have had 4 first dates in a year I'm amazed...I've had that many in a weekend. With the right understanding, it is stupidly easy to have the conversations that lead to the first dates that lead to the opportunities...I'm not sure what is so wrong with that. Can you explain it to me?
This definitely applies to both sexes. I'm always amazed at how many I see saying they never get dates either. I'm supposed to be challenged here because I'm fat... and yet I also have had multiple first dates in one weekend.
The hard part is not finding dates, but as eazk stated finding someone that is actually ready to enter a healthy relationship that I also have a connection with. Right now I am in the early stages of a relationship so we'll see where this goes.  | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:52:46 AM | Women are emotional creatures, they think with their heart more than their heads. 92% of their brains are hard-wired for body control & instinct which gives away their feelings all the time in body language. The 8% is for the hirer brain functions to reason, plan, rationalize and understand the perceived world around them. The smarter and more perceptive the woman is the more intuitive and receptive she is to the social connection of a man to a woman.
Win a woman’s attention, interest, attraction, then seduction in exactly that order then you win her obsessive love. It’s a step-by-step process of the pick-up from A to B to C to D until you finally get to E, the men who fail skip a step or don’t move to the next step quick enough or want to go straight to E as they fall in love at first sight and lose their nerve to win her affection first. But usually done right which unfortunately takes allot of practice thus heartbreak from both sexes the boys turn into men and some of the best seducers around. Who can go through all the steps in a few hours of interaction with a woman, no matter how rich, brilliant, accomplished, beautiful she is or how long she has been with someone-else, because she will always crave someone new and more exciting than the last guy. They all give in to their desires of their secret garden, naked and helpless hoping for the best, but fearing the worst from this confident, smooth, friendly, charismatic, funny, entertaining, sexy guy.
The Don Wans and Casanovas of the 21st Century who take the forbidden fruit away from Eve and tease her with it just out of reach. The most Beautiful Female Angel of Heaven and Earth is the Devil Herself………. she wants to be punished, she wants to be dominated like the bad, bad girl she is.
From my book “Brains over Beauty – Survival of the Smoothest”
P.S. Over 70% of these Men are Nerds, Geeks & Brainiacs who learn, study and practice the social order of dating. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:32:52 AM |
Win a woman’s attention, interest, attraction, then seduction in exactly that order then you win her obsessive love. It’s a step-by-step process of the pick-up from A to B to C to D until you finally get to E, the men who fail skip a step or don’t move to the next step quick enough or want to go straight to E as they fall in love at first sight and lose their nerve to win her affection first.
There absolutely is a psychology to building lasting relationships, I won't disagree with that. And these books do offer foundations to help teach men these tricks. However, I disagree in the way in most of the information is presented. You don't have to be a player or cold hearted to make these techniques work. You can even work these as a couple together if you communicate with each other well. You have to learn what parts work for you and which ones don't. The basics they stress should be natural instincts that you just enhance upon. Seduction can be part of the attention/interest stage though if that is what you're looking for in a long term relationship so don't think that all steps always have to be in the same exact order. You just need to have all of those building blocks in place. I remember when the book "the rules" came out for women a long time ago I laughed and then as I looked at it I realized I was naturally doing half the things in there... and I have never had problems attracting men to me.
Walk in with an open heart (but not on your sleeve), an open mind, and no expectations or prejudgements and I think you'll find that is the real secret to finding relationships that work. If you're trying too hard or have expectations then it's very easy to lose sight of the target. These books just teach you how to slow the game down and not get attached instantly. | |
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:53:48 AM | You don't have to be a player or cold hearted to make these techniques work.
I will agree on that if and only if...
1) The girl of interest is ready, willing and open to a relationship at that first contact and they rarely are.
2) The male instinctive programming fear of first approaching a girl he doesn't know from 1000s of years of rejection of a small tribe of people he belongs to preventing him from mating EVER...causes his heart to start racing, his throat ceasing up, his mouth to be dry and sweating with fear and anxiety as he tries to make a good first impression and ends up talking like a mouse with a frog in his throat and the cat catching his tongue.
3) Male emotions make us do dumb stuff and we don't look like someone you want to talk to, if we don't act cold hearted.
And a Player is a cheater not a Man who only tries to win over only one girl at a time to not be single...please see it though our point of view if humanly possible.
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| What am i doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:08:26 AM |
And a Player is a cheater not a Man who only tries to win over only one girl at a time to not be single...please see it though our point of view if humanly possible.
A player is anyone that plays games. If they are only doing it for the game to see how many women they can get then they are a player. If they are only in this for the conquest and not for the long term goal then they are a player. You don't have to be seducing three women and once to be called one. I have been accused of being one myself on several occasions because when I was younger I was in it for the thrill of the chase, but eventually I realized I was hurting too many people and stopped. Heck, I still get accused of it even though I'm no longer doing it for the thrill of the chase simply because I go through so many dating cycles in a 1 year period (all done one at a time). | |
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