| | Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | Can Trust be rebuilt? Abs0lutely it can!
BUT so can the engine in a car, but youll still be driving the same piece of shit car that broke down, stranded you and needed a new engine! lol
SAD!!!!!!!!!!......but true!!
Mistakes are one thing and they don't usually cause a lack of trust....pain, yes....but Willfully hurting someone or doing something behind their back, making excuses for bad behavior, etc.
No, I forgive, because I have to for my own peace of mind......but I don't stay for an encore.................sadly that is whether it be family, friends, SO.........anyone. It is not in me to be walked on willingly and take it in stride. My old hillbilly grandpa used to tell me he " never chewed his tobbaca twice" and I don't want to " be in a fox hole with someone that may shoot me at any time". Trust is a BIGGY!!!!!!!!! No way around that.
I don't knw which is worse.a liar or a thief..but broken trust contains the traits of both.....and I can't go there!!
I have had circumstances where I never really knew the person and pre-judged on the company they kept.
My daughter-in-law comes to mind. My step-son was a total jerk..but I knew he had been fed his attitude from his mother for years. I mistakedly assumed my daughter-in-law must subscribe to the same garbage.
My husband always told me my DIL was more like me than I thought. It actually ticked me off. Because of a medical situation with my husband we we finally thrown together. I had to admit I was WRONG big time.......... that was five years ago. Her husband ( my step-son) , because of her urging decided to start from scratch with forming his own opinion about me..and leaving " mamma's junk" behind.
They were just here for the week-end last week......almost 3 1/2 years after my husband died. We laughed because it NEVER seemed likely five years ago. I adore all of them ..........they have my twin granddaughters.
That situation was a mistake in judgement.
NOW , if either would do something to break our trust.or I would..... on purpose.........it would be devestating.....and I would be DONE!
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AU 4 U
| | Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 27 | |
| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:21:11 PM | NO,,,Not ever,,,there will always be the event in your mind.
The act of fooling around does NOT start with the act,,,it STARTS with the THOUGHT of the act many, many months before the act.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that it was a one time thing,,,they were thinking of this long before they hurt you! | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:01:05 PM | | I wonder, if the OP will ever be back on those boards again. While I can agree that one shouldn't jump to conclusions often, there are times where doing so isn't a bad idea, IMO. If someone came into a room with a gun, would you ignore that person or would that person get your attention? If you took either answer, you jumped to a conclusion as the gun could be a toy gun, a water gun or an antique gun to give a few different examples as well as the gun itself could be in a case as a way to add some more context to the situation. We all jump to conclusions some of the time. We all make mistakes and are human. It may suck, but it is life... | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/8/2010 8:31:47 AM | I realize the need some people feel for for a pre-nup these days.......but it would depend on the details.
I would be willing to sign a pre-nup that gave him what he may have had before the marriage .........and I be allowed to keep mine. That would be the etent of it. Otherwise if one or the others property had to be sold to co-habitate as married partners, then that should reserved for the one who had to sell...along with the interest on the amount.
Everything else would be moot. If I was not trusted or loved enough to be as sure as possible that the marriage would last until the end ( being a widow.....I know they can) and I did not know him well enough to trust him the same...then I would not venture into it anyway.
I just don't trust anything or anybody that wants the what if ?? A marriage should be two against the world type of committment. Too many throw away marriages today. | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/13/2010 7:41:03 PM | Hello,
well Dr. Phil says couples can rebuild trust but from my experience, it did not work as he just continued to cheat on me. So I left him. Basically, a relationship works, or it doesn't. Simple. I am too old to play games and if trust is broken, then I walk away as I don't have time for that. Hope that helps!
Laura | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:44:04 PM | Wow damien, that is quite the profile you have there. I imagine all us women are now in your bad books, huh?
I think if someone has broken my trust they need to work very hard to regain it. People do make mistakes and a truly contrite person may deserve a second chance but it really depends on the circumstances. I've never found that sweeping generalizations did me much good. | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/22/2010 8:39:09 AM | You can come back from that line if you both want to, if you both work at it and if the one who had their trust abused is willing to not bring it up without just cause.
You've got to be prepaired to never again bring it up. That doesn't mean not being aware of it, not forgetting it and not being affected now and then by it.
But it does mean that you choose to move on.
Would you consider dating someone who's cheated in a previous relationship?
How about stolen? Gotten in a fight? Screwed a partner in a divorce?
If you are willing to get into a relationship with anyone who's ever done anything bad with intent to do that action to anyone, they have the ability to do it to you as well. You are just another person after all.
If you have the ability to look past a strangers shortcomings, their faults and to move past their history, why could you not do that for someone you do care about?
If they repeatedly walk all over you, that is a different situation. But for a single action that broke your trust, your faith... well... if you can do it for a stranger, ..... | |
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| Once trust has been broken in a relationship can it be fixed?
Posted: 1/24/2010 7:11:39 PM | | I think this is dependent on more than just a yes or no answer. I mean, it depends on how strong the bond was in the beginning, how badly the trust was broken, what the scenario is and how it affects the relationship now and in the long run. Hard to make a call.... | |
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