Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > 41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 laphoto
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 76
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I agree with you. I have a lot of very young men who message me and email me. I do believe that a primary reason is that they are looking for an "uncomplicated" sexual relationship. What they really don't realize is that their age when they are more than 8-10 years younger than us is "complicated" for us.

I've dated someone 8 years younger and that was fun...30 something men have learned how to pleasure a woman and don't have to be taught...and they have a lot of staying power. But...there is always that question about "relationship" and "marriage" and "kids".

Just keep your eyes open, you heart in the right place, and choose the men you date...you deserve to have a great relationship with a man who will treat you the way you want him to.
 SaltfisherSC
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 77
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:13:59 PM
Well, I'm 44 and don't even beging my search options younger than 28. Generally speaking, and I am sure that there are exceptions, women younger than 28 do not have it together. I'm a full-time single dad and won't date anyone that doesn't have kids. Youth is great, but it is totally wasted on the young. I have to agree with many of the previous posters. It's about the sex. Just my opinion though. I had friends when I was in my 20's tha always sought out the older, divorcee's in the clubs. They usually tended to be easier to take home for sex. They were divorced and many have self esteem issues due to being divorced, having kids etc. Just scared to be starting over at an older age. A young, attactive guy saying the right things, add in a little alchohol and you have a recipie that worked more often than not. I don't think that much has changed in the last 20 years. Add in the fact that these "older" ladies have spent the last several years in a monogamous relatioship and that equals safer sex (less chance for disease). Granted 20 years ago we didn't worry as much about that as we do today. But the above outlined profile probably still fits. The young guys hitting on you ladies see you as easy prey.

As long as you are armed with that going in, you can make an informd decision. Just my personal opinion.
 Paisley.099
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 78
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:48:52 PM
The picture you have makes you look like a twenty-something and the boys are too lazy to check for an actual number. Be careful of the boys.
 tallshag
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 79
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:22:11 PM
Yep, after reading all that was said I think timoreck and URLOVELY got it said best early on. And paisley.099 is probably right on, too.
 CrimeCat
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 80
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:26:49 AM
Hahaha. That is so true! Watch out for the boys! !
 *~*Royal Majesty*~*
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 81
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/8/2009 11:01:14 AM
I prefer to date gentlemen near my age and a bit older. Twenty-somethings are NOT an option for me and I do not find the attraction in dating men much younger than my own age.

I have found that placing the age limit to those who can contact you is very helpful.

However, you can never be certain, especially on-line, as it's much too easy to pretend to be something what you are not. I also find it helpful to pay attention, use common sense and to use the good ol' "gut instincts".
 know better
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 82
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:17:37 PM

I've dated someone 8 years younger and that was fun...30 something men have learned how to pleasure a woman and don't have to be taught...and they have a lot of staying power.


I suppose this is branching off topic a bit, but it's nice to see someone else that appreciates guys in their 30's. So many times in these forums men under 45 or so get bashed for being selfish in bed, generally by older men (maybe these older guys were like that once, and assume all are).

I don't have younger men coming onto to me in real life or on the internet, so I can't speak to their sexual prowess through actual experience, but I know that when I do interact with men in their 30s in stores or through work or wherever, they almost always are genuinely friendly, make small talk, and hold doors open. I can see that transcending to how they treat their sexual partners. After all, they're not chasing me, so they have no ulterior motive for being nice. They just seem more free and relaxed. In my opinion they are the generation of men (at least in the US) that most has their act together not only physically, but especially personality wise.

So while I agree with OP that 41 and 23 is a little off-putting (because 23 is just so young) , I can see why women in their 20's, 30s, 40s and 50s go for men in their 30s. LOL.
 denisbab
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 83
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:55:40 PM
well put forward..
to me it is about maturity and being able to have conversation with the woman
exchange idea and enjoy life
i like some one who can interact and knows how to live life
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 84
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:17:14 PM
Why not? Men have been dating/marrying women a lot younger than them since there have been men and women, so why not date/marry one that is a lot older?

Why do they write and want to date you? Maybe they like something they say in your profile? Why does anyone write anyone? They like something on their profile!!!

At the age of 23 or 24 they should already be grown, not growing up. What exactly would they miss out on because you are older than them?

As to having more children, not every man is desperate to have children. Not every man wants children.

If one writes you, and you like what he has to say and want to date him, go for it.
 Crunchyguy
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 85
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:57:21 PM
I'm 31 and just got done dating a 20 year old so here's my take on age difference.

The good someone much younger than you
-very full of life/energy/etc.
-no "baggage" yet
-just wants to have fun

The bad
-doesn't know how to deal with people/situations as an adult
-no life experience yet
-just wants to have fun

It just depends on what your looking for I guess. As far as what I had going, I was stupid and fooled myself into thinking it had a chance in being a "real" relationship. In her defense though, she was pretty mature in a lot of ways (work ethic, knows her goals in life, intelligent) so I let those qualities outweigh my judgement.
 AventuriousGirl
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 86
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/13/2009 2:26:10 PM
Hmmmmm.... can say I did have been hit on by younger guys in thier early 20's. I've spoken with them in instant messager when they messaged me. I did asked them questions why they want to date older women and I'd come up with a answer like this:
1. More mature
2. More experienced in sex
3. Less dramatic

So there ya go.... I wouldn't mind unless they are very mature for thier age. I wouldn't go pass the 12 year age limit though. Just my preference.... So everyone has different approach to who they should date so if you don't think this is your prefrence then date guys who you feel comfortable dating agewise.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 87
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:13:12 PM
If youre not ready then the answer is simple. Don't do it.
 wicked smile
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 88
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/14/2009 2:13:58 AM
Super simple...

Because they can. When I was younger I often dated older gal, more experience, less drama, less needy.

In my late 20's, early 30's, I dated everything, older, younger, my age.

Now, mostly younger, why? Because I can, less drama, less needy, less demanding and they come to me for experience.

It goes around and around.
 blackbourne
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 89
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:17:16 PM
My last partner was in her mid 40's and it was gravy, no real major problems whatsoever. Just like any relationship though, just be sure what you want out of it upfront and as things progress.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 90
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:05:18 PM
Adjust the age group of who can contact you and you're all set!
We all get it.
 now serving.....
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 91
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:37:14 AM
If you flipped it around and say I had 23 year old chicks calling me up and wanted sex I would be getting high fives from pretty much every guy I told this to, save for maybe their fathers.

If it is just for sex than go get some you can probably forget having any decent conversaation because your worlds would be too different unless of course you are into xbox and sum 41.
 MissKittyValentine
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 92
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:13:08 PM
I don't understand what some men (boys' mentality) are thinking to be honest.
I've had the opposite of what the OP was describing.
I have older men message me, which I absolutely have no problem with.
But when I read in their contact limits that they will allow a 18-45 year old woman
message them, but the man is late 40s and into their late 50s, I am completely
uninterested, and sometimes even disgusted.
Why is it they will accept a lady 20 years younger but not even someone their own age???
 Jayderaven
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 93
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:38:02 PM
I pretty much think it is the MILF thing. I get a lot of really young guys emailing me...
"wanna chat"

"Nope." read/delete.

Seriously, it would be the very rare 18 year old guy who would have anything I'd be interested in dealing with.
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 94
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:36:43 PM
"Why is it they will accept a lady 20 years younger but not even someone their own age???"

It's called a personal choice. You may want to set a filter yourself if you are disgusted that 50 year old men are chasing you.
 WiseVixen
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 95
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:01:10 AM
It is odd to me too, In no way could I ever be interested in a guy that young, my sons are that age, one of his buddies flirted on me LOL Thanks but no thanks. I can still smell the baby formula on the breath. I figure its a challenge to a young one to have some one who might show them something they never experienced pretty much only thing I can figure on it any way.
 MissKittyValentine
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 96
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:37:20 AM

It's called a personal choice. You may want to set a filter yourself if you are disgusted that 50 year old men are chasing you.


it's very apparent you completely misunderstood my statement posted earlier or you just so chose to read what you wanted to. You may wish to re-read a post (obviously necessary here) before making an incorrect statement of it. Please do not advise me of what to do with my profile filters, where you have no business to comment.

As originally stated, I've no issue with an older man messaging me.
 WiseVixen
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:03:19 AM
Im with you on that statement ((MissKittyValentine)
But when I read in their contact limits that they will allow a 18-45 year old woman
message them, but the man is late 40s and into their late 50s, I am completely
uninterested, and sometimes even disgusted.
And what the usual come back on that is....an accusation of jealousy, when in fact its an
out right turn of the stomach TURN OFF. Of course thats just what I prefer, to just pass on by.
 ironangel13
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 98
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:19:50 AM
Oh the Ashton & Demi Dilema...... I like this thread. Near and dear to my heart. From personal experience, age is truly NOT a factor. I married a man 17 years my senior, now mind you we are getting divorced and it did not work out, but IT DID for 14 years. So that said, "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained". Do not be afraid of a younger man. I have found they are more eager to please, they are a ton of fun, they have great stamina in all areas, they will impress you with now much they really do know and they will help keep you feeling young. You ARE ready for this. Fasten your seatbealt and enjoy the ride!
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 99
view profile
History
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:12:29 PM
I know it would never work. I know a 24 yr old man whose going around trying to get a woman at any age. He thinks flexing his muscles does the trick. I already mentioned that I would not want a guy in his 20s or early 30s. It's too young. I am 38 yrs old, in a different stage of life than these much younger guys. I bet within a few yrs I'll be a Grandmother!(16 yr old has had a girlfriend for over a year)

This guy better watch it. One guy at work was terminated for sexual harrassment, though I said it was not. I declined to date this big guy cause he never showered, was sweaty and just splashed Polo on. The guy went ballistic. Now they are watching guys more closely.
 Fyte Wryte Tyger
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 100
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 1/19/2009 11:19:31 PM
Read my fingertips (as they type on this keyboard) as they say "Not all of us younger guys are on here for sex!" This idea that we just want that one thing is a very overly stereotyped message! I'm really disgusted by the term MILF and I'm 26! I still don't understand the "my kids are your age" bit. We're all on different maturity levels and why does a younger age matter so much? just becuase I'm your child's age doesn't meqan that I'm exactly like he or she.
I'd easily date a woman 10 or 15 years older because we usually enjoy the same types of things! Maybe women are just getting pickier and pickier and would rather settle for an old harley rider than a decent guy! Actually by experience I know it's true!
Isn't the whole "sexual harrassment" thing usually a way to overreact to someone's kind gestures? I hate feeling like I'm going to be fired from my job because I kindly compliment a female customer. I do so a lot and I feel that's the way a gentleman should be and the women are usually flattered. Though, sometimes are very stuck-up and act like it's expected from me lol.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > 41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!