| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:21:27 AM |
I'm fwb's with my ex-wife who cheated on me and lied to me.
She feeds me for sex.!! and I gained weight too.
uhhhhh,,, a little more information there than we need to know, chief, and I've noted that you've posted this several times now. So...i suppose..ummm...we're all happy for you....ok?
anyway, i always liked this idea about expectation:
“I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.” dalai lama (a purty smart guy, yes?)
````````````````Kimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:29:13 AM | | When I go on a date, I will try to have some fun and hope for the best. But I don't have high expectations. If you have high expectations, then you will be disappointed almost every time. Since it would be hard to meet those expectations. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:41:07 AM | I signed onto the Fish site with the expectation that I will be talking to men again.
Men that I am not working with. Men from different backgronuds. Men with different points of view. Some will have lines, some will be honest and all will be here for their own personal reasons. Not to live up to my notions of what a man should or should not be.
My expectation that is most active is that I will try to be direct and authentic when dealing with them. They may or may not understand what I am saying or believe me when I say it, but it is part of getting into the loop again. I also expect that I will get things wrong, be misunderstood and put my foot into it (I have don't that big time already). And I expect someday, somewhere to find a an enjoyable male to spend time with. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:22:29 PM | | I don't have a whole lot of expectations really. I do expect my date to be honest and to be themselves. Why lie? I don't understand why someone will lie or try to be someone they are not. Isn't it a common goal here to find someone you are compatible with? If you lie about yourself then that is impossible. I don't really expect to find "the one." If it happens, then great, but it isn't an expectation every time I go on a date. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:31:50 PM | | I expect to have fun together getting to know one another and more about ourselves also....if he turns out to be " the one" I will be pleasantly surprised and will probably faint from shock....as wonderful as the internet is- the power of pheromones cannot be told from a computer screen... | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:05:20 AM |
never usually
hey seaga, how are you
thanks for this one. Kimbo is into oxymorons
and here is one I haven't heard..........Never/Usually
that's cool
kimbo | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:05:46 AM | I expect them to be the same as they are online, to have a good date together and see where it goes from there. So far, it has been mostly good, not alot of lying women out there. This may not be the experience other guys have, but maybe they are talking to the wrong girls, lying themselves or not asking the right questions before meeting. PoF is still the best thing online, don't believe the haters.
This does not include some of the women on here, I know some of the guys are jerks and should be castrated and not allowed to date. Keep looking for the decent guys, we are on here too. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:58:36 PM | | Expectations seem to be a bit high here on POF, some people have too high standards & will remain single & lonely forever. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:21:08 PM | OP - I think when someone is single and would like to be coupled, we all have hopes of finding that one special person.
However, we are on a datings site where people can say/do anything they want, safely behind a computer. Its easy for people to be less than honest. I rate online dating to going to a bar and meeting people - they are dressed to the 9's, playing their game, and out to see what they can get.
All good relationships started with that first meeting, then the first date and then getting to know one another to know, things were special.
I find online dating sites can give people a false sense of familarility with a stranger. People delve into very personal and deep subjects before they have met in person and many times create expectations of the other person - it becomes impossible to match when you finally do meet in person.
I look at meeting new people, and connecting with people that I might want to be friends with. For me, all things stem from friendship. Unfortunately, some people act very unfriendly as you get to know them. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:48:32 PM | Good for you! That line of thought can lift alot of weight from your shoulders.
I take it on a individual basis - some are low expectations, some are higher - it depends how well we click - is the interest on a mutual level? Respicated? Etc...
Sometimes the heart wants to knock the brain loose and go joy-riding, no one said that was a bad thing - but always keep enough common sense to realize at the end of the joy-ride, it may not be the outcome you hoped for.
But at the same time, theres enough cynicism out in the world - so who says you cannot hope for the best and blindly stick to it! hehe
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/11/2008 11:58:30 PM | | i've dated a lot of people from online. if they meet certain criteria, i'll meet them. for me, it's just a go-see with no real expectations. if we click, then great. if not, oh well. there have been only 2 men on whom i've had a crush prior to meeting. in those 2 cases, i was obviously hoping to begin dating them. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:23:40 AM | i have no expectations so anything after that is a bonus or not... either way is good with me | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:05:46 PM | In general, I expect someone who puts some thought and effort into their pleasure. If you're just content to go through familiar channels for your music, your movies, your books, etc., it tells me that you'd rather just blend into the crowd at the risk of finding something you could savor with your whole heart and mind.
It seems so trite that I would focus on those things. But think about it - if you reject a movie because you don't know the actors, how open-minded are you? This attitude seeps into everything people do, and thus a seemingly inconsequential thing reveals something important about people. The women I enjoyed spending the most time with were true eclectics, real individuals - unfortunately, they're hard to find. They were better listeners - a huge asset for a person to have - than most people.
My expectations for POF have not been met. I expected more communication than I have received so far. In my brief experience, internet courting is astonishingly lifelike. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:05:59 PM | Changed my motto from:
Low Standards, High Expectations - to- High Standards, Low Expectations!
keepin it simple
we shall see......
 | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:35:13 PM | | As for expectations, all I expect, and insist on, from a date is honesty and courtesy. I might have hopes that it will be much more, but in spite of how many great emails and phone conversations we've shared, I know not to make premature judgments in that regard until we actually meet in person and see if the connection is really there, and not just some wishful thinking on either of our parts. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:42:12 AM | I've done the same OP...I've actually changed my profile to reflect I'm looking for friends, but in the body saying I eventually want long term. I've always held people at a distance on here until I felt there could be a real connection...I still make sure there is something, but I'm apt to meet more people now because I don't expect anything.
A friend and I had a discussion on this last week--that we were so intent on finding 'the one' we were forgetting that it's ok to date. It's ok to meet several people and see what happens...this is so 'cart before the horse' it's easy to get it all twisted around and emotionally invested when there's no reason. I know some people think that's because you wait too long to meet, but I disagree. I think sometimes it's good to meet right off and sometimes it feels right to let it wait.
Excellent topic... | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:02:21 AM | No I haven't changed my views since starting this on line dating thing. I was lucky to go into this as a skeptic so I have always looked to make friends, and expected to meet some crazies and to just enjoy whatever happens my way....however I have been on a few dates where the other person did have those expectations and had become very bitter when they were disappointed time after time
Kudos to you for recognizing a very critical way of thinking to survive the dating site world!!! Good luck to you in your future meets! | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:42:09 AM | ACCEPTANCE -- IT'S ALL ABOUT ACCEPTANCE. DO NOT LOWER MY STANDARDS -- TRY TO WALK A MILE IN THE OTHER PERSONS SHOES, WHILE NEVER LOWERING MY STANDARDS. I'M TOTALLY OVER HAVING EXPECTATIONS.  | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:13:39 AM | | Dating has changed drastically, when we were all younger we went on a date to have a good time and if we liked the person that was a perk and possibly a second date. Now, I believe we all ruin the experience by seeing or questioning ourselves each date if this person is the one, instead of just enjoying the experience for what it is. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:28:03 AM | I am not sure what I was expecting when I was directed to this site, but what I have found are the forums and they are FUN! Addictive! Think I was starved for adult conversation.
What do I see or want as the outcome of a date? Interesting conversation, a possible new friend, a possible new lover. What do I expect? A lot of stress, as I am not that good at meeting new people, and not much else, I guess. I don't really think I will meet a great love on here. I mean, it is always a possibility, but all the circumstances that surround this unique way to meet people work to make it very, very hard to find someone who would be a great friend, someone you had much in common with, a great lover, and a possible mate. Seems a little farfetched to me. And I am not being cynical. I just do not see it happening this way. But, I could be wrong. And, like I said, I love the forums and am truly enjoying the exchange of ideas.
Sherry | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:09:48 AM | After spending 40 plus years, of my life, being married...I've found;
1. Taking something as a "given" or "unspoken"..example; wedding vows repeated have been just that....repeated.
And does not mean they were taken seriously.
2. By not expecting very much, that's pretty much, what I received.....nil to not very much.
3. I had no defined, set of standards, even when I married the second time.
4. Disappointments are necessary to make achievements sweeter.
5. I've found that I had to walk through he$$ to recognise and fully appreciate paradise.
6. To wish I'd never married, to either knot-head, would mean I would never of had my wonderful children...and with someone else, they would not be the precious children or grandchildren I have.
7. A book with little to no contents, is not a very good book.
And not one I'd want to take home.
8. I realized that many times when I've thought negative.......negative came home to roost.
9. I can not change anyone but myself.
10. I did the best I could to solve the problems with both of my marriages. It takes two to keep from dragging heavy stuff.
I stopped trying to drag my end, when I'd tried my best.
Being older does not mean, I am desperate or needy.
I will not lower my standards just for the sake of being with someone.
I expect to receive what I put into a relationship........I also add hope and faith in with my expectations.
For me, having no expectations to avoid disappointment, would mean I'm not living my life to the fullest.
It would be like kids, having Christmas presents, everyday.
Well, some do.
They are easy to recognise, they would be the ones who don't seem to be impressed, nor do they appreciate or take care of anything, they receive.
I do not ask or require anything, from anyone, that I , myself would not be willing to do.
ceeceekitty | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:31:47 AM | | Yes my expectations have changed along with my standards, I deserve the best and i won't except anything less. Maybe if you go into this another way , stop hoping he's the one, relax, take another approach, some times backing off allows you to regroup and think ... If it is not happening in your favor it wasn't meant to be ?? Think about it? Take a break from this ... | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:20:26 AM | i have one expectation which is to have no expectations.
people are rarely who they say they are online, those are dead give aways that don't get the priveledge to meet me. LOL.... most aren't exactly the same in person as they seem online. some are right on....
if i go into it with expectations....its only gonna be a let down. there are a lot of people online, not so much if you limit yourself.
however, i have come thisclose to asking a guy out in public!! 
just seems easier when you can study their persona and get an actual vibe. | |
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| What are your expectations?
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:30:37 AM | | Biancanancy.....It has really come down to this with me....I have no expectations for a date or a meet. If you go on a date thinking it will be great or the guy will be great you just set yourself up for failure, because more times than not..he will not be what you are expecting. The other thing may happen, he may be great, talk easily, enjoy yourself, think you will see each other again...and POOF...u never hear from them again. I have completly given up trying to figure out the male species...behaviour is odd to say the very least...so my suggestion is to go on the date with no expectations at all and maybe something good will happen, and if it doesnt you will not be hurt because you havent investested anything into it...hope that helps | |
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