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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:43:30 AM | | I will most likely be verbally castrated by the ladies for writing this, but this is what MY experience has shown me over the past ten or fifteen years: A woman will inevitably demand that she should come first in your life, all the while ignoring your needs while catering to her family, friends, pets and career. That strikes me as being a bit on the hypocritical side, and makes for a very unbalanced relationship. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:11:15 AM | You should be equal, not put ahead or behind of his/her; family, friends, career, etc.
If your always going to be put behind another persons needs thats not a relationship is it. Also you shouldn't be put ahead of things that have been in their lives for ages past. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:16:44 AM |
You can be #1 with me! Well, after my kids ... my job ... camping ... fishing ... my Jeep ... and my cat.
Sounds like the last guy I dated! 
If your #1 in his heart all the other stuff don't matter. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:48:40 AM | I read a lot of the posts. Maybe in the early days of a relationship, we should all ask the question "What does a relationship mean to you?", i.e. is a relationship the most important thing in their life, or is it secondary to all the other stuff that is going on.
Is this a sign your partner is not really into you?
I think you have to go with your gut insinct. If you feel you're on the back burner, then it probably is cos he or she doesn't care enough, and it's only people with low self esteem who put up with crap. Get out and find the hot guy or girl who is really into you. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:49:13 AM | | An intelligent person would juggle their priorities and still be able to make their SO feel as though s/he were no. 1. A selfish or self-centered person assumes the other will accept what crumbs s/he is given, and not expect any consequences. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:51:51 AM | | It's not all or nothing as has been suggested. You don't have to give up everything you enjoy - just be able to have some uninterrupted time together, some intimacy, and the person should definitely be there for you if you have a problem. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:53:18 AM | If he didnt put earning a living and his kids first I would have been very worried.
Why do some women think men should drop everything for them ?
A man is no use to anyone if he has lost his job because his partner wanted his attention !
What makes you think you are more important than his kids ?
You just sound like yet another selfish woman to me. | |
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| how do you become okay with not being number 1
Posted: 7/19/2008 12:56:47 PM | No one is going to be number one all the time.
No one is going to be your number one or have you be their number one 100% of the time.
You really don't want to be, either. It's exhausting to be all things to one person 100% of the time.
There is a balance that most people strive for.
I go for the idea of a rotating top five. As long as I'm in there, included in the other top four and can offer the same to another, then I feel we have a chance.
Realistically, there are times when kids are going to need the most attention. There are times your job, hobby, life, whatever needs the most attention. There are times when an SO needs the most attention. There are time when your best friend needs the most attention. There are times when you need to sit back and give yourself the most attention... and so on.
It isn't a constant. It's something that shifts based on who needs what and what you can give at the moment. If it does stay stagnant, as in you are always #4 and never #1 then there is a problem. | |
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