| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:00:00 AM | | More men commit suicide than women, although women attempt it more. So men are better at it. So I wouldn't be surprised if women lie better than men. Women better at lying, men better at suicide. At least we're all good at something. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:52:11 AM | | It's been proven to me over and over again. Some men can look straight into your eyes and lie. As for me, I'm very transparent. I can't lie to save my life. I could never look someone in the eyes and lie. That's just wrong. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:53:49 AM | My experience is that women are better liars when they want to be. I think this is because woman are much better at multi-tasking and are able to live in multiple universes at the same time.
My ex could change history if it made her feel better. I had to laugh as she spoke to me about how she had thrown me out of the home and I went on to correct her by reminding her I'd left of my own accord after telling her I didn't find her behaviour acceptable and the relationship she had told me we were going to have from a certain point on (it was 'you can stay for the sake of the kids but I want you to see other women) was something I hadn't signed up for.
Her face remained completely blank while I said this to her. She broke every agreement we ever made (and it always turned out to be my fault). Another thing I remember was the look on my ex's solicitor's face when she met me several years after our divorce. My ex, about one week before our papers for divorce due to a 2 year separation came through, had decided to go for 'unreasonable behaviour' and had listed about 40 serious things on the papers. So serious I was scared I was going to lose contact with the kids because of it.
When I spoke to my ex she told me the solicitor had told her to make it all up but if I wanted to challenge it she'd take me for every penny I had. She already had all my pennies back then.
When I came across the solicitor she was visibly shocked to see I was actually a walking talking caring father (one of my sons was in trouble with the police). If a picture paints a thousand words.
Now I know all this is just one lady - but I've met so many ladies since in the past 13 years - for example ladies with long term partners who pretend they don't have them etc etc that I have no grudge against ladies who do this - it just makes the honest ones stand out A MILE.
I know there are also a lot of male liars out there too - I try to watch myself for this kind of thing. I think it starts out as exaggeration and turns into a whole new world if you're not careful.
I'll just pop for a ride in the porsche and check out a few of my mansions. The fact I don't drive has nothing to do with my version of reality. Damn, a little bit of truth slipped out there. Men are useless as liars. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:06:45 AM | Whoever is on the HURTING end at the moment is going to make out that the other is the biggest fattest ugliest dorkiest LYINEST skunk in the universe
Catch my drift???
My Momma & Daddy ran an orphange /neglected kids of sorts over the years took in over 540 kids. (she had 5 of her own, *6* but their firstborn died at 9 months . 3 boys/3 girls
Know what THEIR view out of ALL those kids are?? and REMEMBER!!! they had to deal with the PARENTS of those kids, too!!!
They found that girls can NOT keep secrets!!! Girls are out and out with it. They just HAVE to "whispher whispher whispher" behind their fingers/hands...but then they WANT you to know whats up!!!!
WHEREAS: listen CLOSELY to this: BOYS (and their dads too!!!) are SNEAKYSNAKES!
oh they would go in the rooms , get in the dressers, rummage thru everything, get into the bathroom goodies, get into food they shouldnt, (telltell peanut butter or chocolate traces )
etc!! but they would NEVER tell,!!!! you could ask and even THREATEN them (show them the chocolate on their shirts/faces) and they would VEHEMENTLY deny it!!!!
hahaha
and guess what?? being married to 2 abusers...yep. they really CAN LIE! i caught my X on webcam choking me, suffocating me, pulling my hair, etc.....and all the way up to the time the cops SHOWED HIM THE PROOF...he Denied it!!!!
but///hey. so can women! !!!so ? who knows?? probably just all depends on the person , i would say. but...that is just my parents observance...(and working with children myself, and later abused women...umhum) i find the same thing. :) | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:13:45 AM | No gender is superior at lying than the other - Assuming one "gender" is better at lying simply implies that they have "caught" one gender in a lie more than the other. A lier uncaught in the act isn't seen as a lier even if they are... and I seriously doubt people who lie would tell the truth about their lying. So even statistics on lying would be a lie.
I prefer to believe that people are generally good in nature and that most lies are said to spare feelings or to avoid confrontation (ie the little white lie). I may not agree with lying, but I do understand why some would rather tell a white lie than purposely hurt someone elses feelings. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:24:58 AM | The great comic Chris Rock once said;
"Men lie the most. Women tell the biggest lies"
A mans lie is like "Oh I was at Tonys house" A womans lie is like "It's your baby"
I think there is a small truth to that. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:33:56 AM | | I think they r equal but men r more likely 2 cheat on account of there horomones!!some men thats all they want!! | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:43:07 AM | ~OT~ I can only answer from personal experience, but I have found women lie more consistently than men. Maybe it's that they happen to remember their lies ???  The men I know for a fact that have lied to me personally ~ when caught, are quick to fess up and add details and justifications, the women ~ hold tight to the original lie. Interesting to me, but one of the main reasons I don't usually entertain many close ties with too many people. JMO  | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:18:23 AM | | While I do believe that women may out right lie better than men, I think that men are much better at lying through omission and observing the "don't ask, don't tell policy." However, most men don't consider that lying. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:47:35 AM |
But I also have male friends who will flat out lie to their SO's about drinking, gambling...and the women believe it. Or are they lying to themselves?
If people deny that they have a problem, that is known as the defense mechanism denial.
Here are some excellent books on the subject of lying:
(1) Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life by Sissela Bok
(2) Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!: The Psychology of Deceit by Charles V. Ford
(3) Conquering Deception by Jef Nance | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:54:04 AM | Wow, that was a very thought provoking article. I do see some truth in it though. The lies women make to be accepted or to get what they want or to avoid conflict in the long run. I also see truth in the statement mens lies are simplistic to fix something.
I cannot say that men or women are overall better than one another in their lies, what I can say that there are sociopaths out there of both sexes, that are so good at their lies that it is second nature to lie instead of stating the truth. They are so good at this that they even come to belive their own lies. SCARY! | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:55:38 AM | I don't see the point in anyone lying, myself. To say I've NEVER in my life have told a lie would be ...well, a lie...but habitually lying as a habit just to (fill in whatever excuse you may have) totally baffles me.
I think that while women are much "better" liars, men are much more prolific at it. And they SUCK at it, too! I don't even think they care, either.
Of course, I'm speaking from experience as a woman who has been lied to numerous (too numerous to count; I've been told as many lies as there are stars in the heavens..lol) times by men.
And people wonder why some have "trust issues." Lack of integrity does nothing but create "trust issues" and is THE quickest way to ruin a potential, current, or future relationship. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:39:09 AM | Women because they can remember the lies they have told
Most men can't keep their story straight from one day to the next
Why bother if you can't keep the story straight anyway | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:47:23 AM | | Its not really gender specific to my way of thinking, but more a learned response, along the lines of the old nature vs. nurture argument. I was raised by a mother who taught me the value of honesty, in spite of the fact that my father was very deceitful (and yes, they were together all during my childhood). My ex-wife on the other hand was raised by a mother who lied and schemed constantly to either get her way or to avoid things, and a father who just went along with his wife's verbal bullying. Was it any surprise that my ex turned out to be so duplicitous, to the point of being a pathological liar? She was really good at it, until the lies became so intertwined that she couldn't tell fact from fiction; therapy hasn't seemed to help much either from what I've heard. I don't blame any of that on her being female; I blame most of it on her having a lousy role model for parental guidance. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:58:10 AM | | i think women are better liars, but ladies lets not sleep on the men's skillz. I think men lie a lot, and the most used reason is... i did not want to hurt you, i did not want y0u to react the way i thought u would react, etc etc. women are better at catching men in lies... therfore it may be perceived that men lie more...i just happen to think that they get caught more. i honestly think that when u find that true someone that the lies are suppose to stop! | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:41:48 AM | OP,
I think women are better liars then men are.
I know a female friend of mine that told me recently she was not in a relationship, but I heard through a mutual friend of ours that she has been happily dating someone for a few months now. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 11:09:21 AM | | I DON'T THINK ITS A GENDER ISSUE, YOU GET GOOD AND BAD LIARS IN BOTH SEXES, PERSONALLY I DON'T LIE, WELL ONLY WHITE ONES | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:24:23 PM |
his is funny as the women will say men and the men will say women, it is men and its almost natural to them but they aren't quite clever enough not to get caught out by women, female intuition!
The question was not "Who lies more", but "Who lies better"?. If men get caught that means they aren't very good at it. Hence, women.
Speaking personally, I can say I have never met a woman who was completely honest with me. A perfect example in the POF context, is dating - I have never once been told by a woman "Thank you for asking me out, but I don't want to go." Ever. I've heard every lie in the books on how ultra-busy they are and can't spare a moment, though. Oddly enough, they always manage to spare a moment for the next guy that comes along.
(That's not a knock against people who won't date me. No big deal, there. Just tell me the truth.) | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:37:04 PM | I have not read the whole thread but wanted to post my thoughts without others opinions coloring them. I will read it later.
Women are without question the better liars. They are taught from an early age and by example to lie. Now before you flame the sh*t out of me, think about it. Women are rarely confrontational, they learn this behavior early. They observe mom telling dad the little white lies, I spent more at the supermarket, not had my nails done. Or you look so good in that, to boost his ego even though he looks like crap. Lies to neighbors about their kids, then says to her hubby something else. While these are simplistic lies, as a girl observes them, she learns.
Then with that first interactions with boys. What she thinks he wants to hear. Or how good(not) her girl friend looks. Now as she graduates into adulthood it has become second nature to tell the little white ones, doesn't it figure the next step up is so easy since she has practiced.
Why is it, and you can see it on here everyday in the forums. Women say I caught that man cheating, and men say "she left me, I had no idea". She's more devious, a born liar, so it's not intelligence, it's trust and not being taught to lie. Guys are taught if you do something wrong, take it like a man. George Washington "I cannot tell a LIe", don't see them telling Martha that do you. Bob | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:59:17 PM | It's also a good idea to read a section from John Stossel's book "Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity: Why Everything You Know is Wrong". Specifically, the chapter on gender roles. He cites a study done with both children and college students whereby they were given lemonade that had been made with salt instead of sugar and then asked if they liked it.
Every last one of the males of both ages said the lemonade was disgusting. The girls? Lied.
I would also, in a moment of snark, mention that since so many folks seem inclined to point out that women can catch men in lies easily, that "it takes one to know one". | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:22:22 PM | According to Barash, Sarah Lawrence College, (2008)
Most females lie "more cleverly and successfully than men" about everything from infidelity and face-lifts to barhopping and shopping binges. "Women lie as a survival technique, but also to get what they want".
They also lie because they their mothers taught them how to lie. | |
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| Who lies better--men or women?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:50:50 PM | And men don't lie about infidelity, spending too much money on that tv, alcohol, gambling, drugs, salary, how the woman looks, whether he likes her friends/family.
Men get caught cheating more but women will fess up eventually. Most men would leave a cheating women the vice versa isn't true.
Guys lie more on average and lie about bigger things. | |
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