| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:57:28 AM | Stayed too long  lol, seriously though my last relationship which lasted just 10 months and ended 18 months ago was pretty brutal in the end, it was a long distance thing, he lived in Melbourne and I in Sydney and there were just too many factors that went into it that made it all too much in the end. So I ended it, never thought I could do it but its amazing how much stregnth you have when you need it the most. I cried and grieved for three long months but eventually the sun came out and it was sunny again. Break ups are a **** and they hurt like hell, probably one of the reasons I'm so reluctant to jump into another one so fast, but you do survive them. You just have to go through it  | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:54:16 PM | | You know when a relationship starts and you get all hopeful and excited that you just want to shower the other person and buy them presents. well that was my issue, i gave too much and received too little in return. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:20:46 PM | | My last relationship ended because of religious differences.I was dating a woman who was Catholic .I met her on a dating site.Not here.I told her I was an Atheist.No problem she said.So we dated for about 6 month.Conversation came up and I said I'd didn't believe in God.She was like ,WHAT?She though an Atheist was just another religious belief.I sat through the "Passion on Christ "movie for her.I was raised a Christian so I knew the story.She had all types of pictures of Jesus everywhere.At the time I was meeting up with other Atheist and she didn't like this.I'd say I was an Atheist and she would put her hand over my mouth to shut me up.We got along except for this.She broke up with me.I don't know I did wrong except I didn't have the same belief. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:28:53 PM | I have made every mistake in the book - I shall only list the really bad ones.
Bought her designer shoes - designer dresses - ahd matching handbags galore.
It transpires that Women say one thing and mean another - Now all of you Own Up!
Most women you see appreciate the "Car boot" bargain "Fantasy".
My secong great mistake was to treat her just too well - Did I not take her to the finest venues? Out to Lunch at the Savoy? - Arriving at Harrods in my super Bently??
It Transpires that women want a boss - so that now that the most beautiful women appreciate the "Bad Boy" personna - She has now to Curtsy upon entrance - and address me as Sir, and really appreciates the "Cinderella" treatment.
(Of course you know very well - stop pretending - give her loads of ironing, and scrubbing - and when she is not at her very best - simply shout furiously.
Also ensure that you have no modern conveniances. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:51:43 PM | I stayed with him even after he cheated on me.
When the "other" woman tells me that she has been sleeping with him for 5 months I will end the relationship no if's and's of but's. | |
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mj79
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Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 232 | |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:14:02 PM | I ignored all the red flags because I wanted to be in love. I lost myself in what he and everyone in his family needed from me. I became someone else.
I the future, I plan to pay attention to those warning signs. I keep up my relationships with my friends and family. This helps fight loneliness when it sneaks up on me. I am also working on just being me. Also, assertiveness is playing a larger role in my life these days.
I like me now. When I make mistakes, they are all mine, because I am making my own decisions now, not being forced into them by someone else. It's beautiful!
Yea ME! | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:37:42 PM | What did I do wrong in my last relationship? hmm
This is an interesting question. My last relationship ended 6 years ago. I married way to soon, He and I met at work, we moved in together the first night I met him, and we got married four months later during our honeymoon period. I was so stupid, I didn't even know there was such a thing as a honeymoon period, I had no preconceptions on what a relationship was or experience with one because I had never seen a relationship that worked.
I didn't know him, never met his family or friends. i had no one who could tell me he was a sadistic obsessive psychopath. Within 3 months of of marraige I was pregnant.
I was still mourning the loss of my parents who died three months before i met my ex husband, I suppose I was trying to re-establish a family by throwing myself into a permanent relationship. For those who can't count I lost my parents, moved to another state, met and moved in with a man, got married and got pregnant and moved to another state AGAIN in less then a year.
That was about the dumbest thing I could have ever done. The smartest thing I did was take my daughter and pregant self and move to a county he had warrents in, file for divorce, restraining orders, full custody and win by default because he would have been arrested if he showed up to contest it, And then moved to another state to start over.
This time, after having gone through 6 years of domestic violence and intense therapy, I will move way slower. I will know his family, his ex's, his lifestyle, how he handles anger and joy before he even meets my kids. My daughter never should have gone though it, Can't change the past but I can make sure it doesn't hapen in the future. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:41:14 PM |
I forgot to put the toilet seat down ... once!
Seriously, I had the PERFECT girlfriend, and that was a problem because she was TOO perfect. I never felt that I could live up to her standards of perfection (did I say perfect enough times). I broke it off with her and have regretted it to this day!
You never felt that you could live up to her standards???? :doh: Come here....lemme smack you!!! | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:49:12 PM | She wasn't perfect if you had to conform to her needs and place her on a pedistal. Not every woman wants a bad boy persona. Keep your dignaty and your self esteem and don't let anyone make you feel that you need to buy her love. If she loved you, she would have done so without everything you bought her. Just be yourself, love yourself and others will love you for it.
This insight comes from years of therapy and thousands of dollars later. I give it to you for free. lol | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:55:39 PM | Relationship or Date? Cause if it's dating I don't think there's even forum space to cover my mistakes. 
Visiting a shady message parlour to have my arm massaged! Stupid, I don't even know how to explain that one. I hurt my arm at work, it was a Saturday morning and seriously I just wanted my arm massaged. I don't know what I was thinking, I never let anyone touch me and I left in disbelief that those places have business liscenses. My next mistake was telling my girlfriend on the way to a company party. lol - I'm so stupid sometimes !
I'll just leave you with this one. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:18:30 PM | Bluzchic...what an honest reply!
I am pretty certain I also gave up some of my life and me, too...something I did not realize until he pointed out such to me.
I thought of another thing I did wrong...and I know he will see this and hopefully laugh about it...lol...I served him "square ham!" He said, "Have YOU ever seen a square pig?! Me neither...and I don't eat square ham!"  | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:52:45 PM | I can agree with the trusting and falling for the "Prince Charming" that says all the right things at the right time. Who listens so well to you going on and on about your issues and you think it's cause they're so sensitive and caring and I didn't realize that he was just getting ammunition to make me feel like a failure in the past and the reason for any problems in our relationship. If I questioned red flags that came up I was told that I was just being paranoid and taking out past issues on him. When my friend who wasn't so easily manipulated caught him red handed he still blamed me for just misunderstanding the situation. Him + Woman + Hotel = affair what is there to misunderstand.
In the future I will trust myself and my instincts, experience makes us skeptical for a reason so that we don't repeat our mistakes. I will not let someone control me or convince me that they are my worth. I will not live with someone prior to marriage. I will date people who have had similar experiences with divorce, children, etc so that we are equal. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:58:05 PM | I absolutely adored my husband and tried very hard to please him- and ran around making him cups of tea and doing this and that for him everytime he asked, until one day I wasn't feeling too good and I asked him if he could please make me a cup of tea and he looked at me and said "Aw darling do I have to?". I found this very selfish and certainly the flashing red warning lights were blinding me (so to speak).
On several occassions I tried to communicate with him about how I was feeling and he always interrupted what I was trying to say and never allowed me to finish, so I sent him a letter, he did not respond so I ended the relationship. He begged me not to go- but it was too late.
My ex was so shocked he later told me that he never ever thought that I would leave him because of the way I loved him.
He was a true charmer and played guitar in a very popular band and had lots and lots of beautiful women in his life and was used to being pampered by them . Never will I date or have a relationship with a drop dead gorgeous man.
I have loved 4 times in my life and all of them did not want me to leave, MAYBE I LOVED TOO MUCH. My advice to any man- LISTEN to your lady and act upon it if you truly love her and vica versa.... Communication is the key, do not take your lady/man for granted, do not treat her as if she is your possession/ or a replacement Mum, do not try to choose her friends- because guess what- the friends and family will always be there but you may not- generally speaking. (Just have a look at how many people are divorcing today- it is really sad).
In my opinion(after the honeymoon period) alot of women get bored with their man because he just watches television all the time- and he mostly shows his love and affection behind closed doors- which leads to some women having extra marital affairs. So guys give your woman lots and lots of affection apart from in the bedroom and watch her wag her tail (so to speak).
I know we all have faults - I always warn my partners - if I don't have enough sleep- be nice to me in the morning otherwise I will bite your head off....lol, well for a brief moment most of the time I wake up with a smile on my face.
From my observations- women want a Man to look up to- the Man is their strength. When a man does too much for his lady (aYES Man) she ends up getting bored with him and seeks extra marital affairs. Men be kind to your lady but don't end up as the doormat- be firm with her- she will respect you. I never take anyone for granted. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:05:17 PM | What I did wrong:- was be toooo trusting yet again!!!! (third time this has happened now) - and he wondered off with another woman grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Got to be more clingy and demanding with men,
got to be more clingy and demanding with men,
got to be more clingy and demanding with men - written 100 times
 nah if they cant behave I am better off without them, 
__________________________________________________________
EDIT: MSG: 237, Lucky me - laughing out loud, you could so be one of my ex's, | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:15:06 PM | | Invest in a taker (emotionally, mentally) who absolutely had no idea of what compromise meant or any real idea of how a relationship works. The mistake I made was more of a personal flaw of mine. I never learned how to give up. I saw the demise of our relationship as a challenge like it was illegal or something to call it quits(lol)wasn't like I was married to the man. Next time I will give myself permission to walk away when things become unhealthy. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:20:58 PM | | I lived to close to her parents. I divorsed her on grounds of mental illness. She lost all memory for quite a long period of time, she became some one else, even denide the existance of our two children, for whom were only 6 and 8 years of age...and I became a single parent. (to prevent this from happenning agin) I would not have a clue. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:50:44 PM | Have you noticed that, when women list something they did wrong in a relationship, they always manipulate it to be like
' I was too good and generous and self-denying while he was such a so-and-so'
Count on it! They're almost all like this! Ladies, what kind of self-analysis is that? Men certainly have faults, but at least in a forum like this we try to take an honest look at ourselves. And you all still go under the implicit assumption of your own moral superiority! Take a good look. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:50:00 PM | Doug "I was too good and generous and self denying while he was such a so and so"
In my case that is how it was for me- I have a fair and open mind.
In alot of the cases Men are too good to their women and the rotten apples will manipulate their man through sex, tears, etc etc.... until they get what they want and then they will dump them or screw behind their backs.
The genuine nice guys will feel the pain eventually and I have seen many never to trust a female again- which makes it so hard for the next DECENT girl that may come into his life.
I feel alot of problems that some men encounter is their thinking department is below their waists and thats how they get themselves into trouble. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:26:15 PM |
Count on it! They're almost all like this! Ladies, what kind of self-analysis is that? Men certainly have faults, but at least in a forum like this we try to take an honest look at ourselves. And you all still go under the implicit assumption of your own moral superiority! Take a good look.
First of all, I don't see too many men on here admitting to any fault either..that may be a human thing, not a gender thing..
However, only speaking for myself...I have no problem admitting to faults...but, in the case of my marriage...I really don't see what I did wrong..he was perfectly happy with the way things were, he didn't want the divorce..I didn't mistreat him in any way, so what could I be at fault for? I tried to save the marriage, he was the one who thought nothing needed fixing...if I had chased him away or made him unhappy..then I would look at what my "fault" was..but, it wasn't like that at all... | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:21:13 PM | | I also stayed too long. I knew we had many differances but I figured I loved her and that could over come. Wrong.... Our differances made me hold part of myself back and as we went on it took its tole. Holding back a part of me is what I did wrong... | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:45:13 PM | LIVIDSORROW .......I can relate to your story.
I left an abusive husband in 2003 and I took my then 20 day old son with me when I left him I moved back to Fl and I then filed for divorce which is finally final!
One yr after I left the abusive husband I dated a man that tapped me on the head with a frying pan and when I broke up with him he told me that he was just playing.
Exactly 1 yr after I broke up with him I got involved with another man, Andrew David Daniels ( lives in Lake City,Fl) for almost 2 yrs (that has Bi-Polar by the way) he lost his temper with me,screamed at me on top of his lungs,threw things at me and smacked me around many times but I did not leave him until he beat me up,choked me and threatened to kill me and bury my body in his back yard and when I left him I pressed charges against him. My son was not around to see me being beat up....Thank God!
I decided after leaving Andrew that if the next guy shows any sign of a temper or even threatens to hit me I will end things faster then he can blink an eye.
No more abusive men! | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:56:06 PM | | I lost myself trying to make him happy. Never going down that road again. If a man can't be happy with me just as I am, faults and all, I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone. | |
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| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:57:32 AM | | The worst thing I ever did was stay in a relationship that I knew in my heart wasn't going to work. I decided to find other things to do to combat my lonliness untill the right man came along. | |
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