|
|
|
|
|
| | What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Page 26 of 30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30) | | I didnt dispose of the body well enough! | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:56:38 AM | My last relationship... Pretty much ended for the same reasons they always have; of course the reasons for the last one ending was sort of his doing; I do take blame in allowing it to happen... So here we go...
1. I felt sorry for the last guy I dated, so I offered him a place to live (with me) and went out with him (knowing we had tried dating 4 years ago). ::: Never date someone you feel sorry for, because it's not right for either party:::
2. I let him bring everything he owned from his dad's house to my house 5 hours away! BIG MISTAKE!!! I drive a small car, so it took several trips to bring it down; and now I have to come up with the money on my own to bring it all back cause he won't pay for it. I should NEVER EVER have let him bring more than what he needed down, i.e. clothes, bathroom/shower needs, and pillows.
3. I let him stay even after he cheated on me, after he refused to shower for days at a time, and after he refused to get a job and help pay the bills. ::: Never gonna do that again, considering it's hard enoughpaying for them on my own... and any man who will cheat on you has done it before and will probably do it again:::
4. The biggest mistake I could ever have done, was accepting his instant message on yahoo after not speaking for 3 years. I never would have wound up in this mess. | |
|
Renda
| | Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 628 | |
| |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 9:09:20 AM | Have the life that I have.
After giving my heart and soul to her I thought she was the one if you can ever call somebody that . It felt right and really really good to be with her and not for any sexual reasons but to honestly connect together in everything we did. But my deployment and being in Iraq was too much for her. Having leave cancelled due to one emergency or another was something she could not take. | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 1:01:31 PM | the thing i did wrong in my last relationship was to sell my own house and buy jointly with the lying cheating theiving con man - who took all the equity before we split up.
moved a girl he works with in before i was off the house deeds,
but now lives in £340,000 house with the girl he works with | |
|
| |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:13:21 PM | Wow... thats a loaded question.
I think several things. (1) Being to frank with the person (2) Not trusting (3) Finding out the relationship was over and still persisting because I thought he was the world to me. (4) Him being the manipulator and I being the controller. There are so many reasons. But in the end I found out he had lied to me on numerous occasions. That he tried getting into the pants of all my girlfriends. But who needs a**** guy who thinks he's all that. That he is smarter than me 24/7 even if I knew I was right.
I think the best thing that I have done is cut him out of my life. To move on. | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:06:17 PM | Wow. 500 pages of what was wrong with the other person in the relationship. So this is what? Where all the innocent people go to date?
Bullshit.
In my last relationship my error was not opening up enough to the woman. Looking back I think I may have missed some signs that the coast was clear on that one and I regret letting my inhibitions keep me from exploring whatever potential may or may not have been there.
 | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:43:29 PM | | I think I loved too much, if that's possible. I was too open with my feelings, insecurities, and in general I overloaded her. I got clean and sober a long time ago and learned that I can't afford to keep things inside of me. When I do that, it builds, it eats away at mental and emotional well being. So I'm upfront and as honest as I possibly can. I probably was telling her things, expressing myself too much. She probably felt at times that I was leaning too heavily on her, when the opposite was true. I have my own support system consisting of people in recovery. I share everything with them that goes on in my life, and their acceptance is unconditional. I think she wasn't capable of that type of unconditional acceptance, I didn't realize that. I was treating her as I treat my friends in the program and blurting out my guts with her. Huge mistake. She also mentioned my PTSD issues that are a result of my combat service over 24 years wearing the uniform. I'm not sorry about that. I can no more wish these things away than I can stop breathing. Believe me, I don't want to have these things affecting me in my life, but she needed to know when I was starting to feel uncomfortable, starting to feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up because there were too many people in a club, or I couldn't sit with people walking up behind me without getting hyper-vigilant and wanting to jump out of my skin. I have to talk about these things, I have to voice these things, that helps me to stay in control and not act out on the tapes that play in my head. If I were to act out, it would get really ugly, and I can't do that. Am I broken? Probably, but I'm trying to be there, to be present in life today and not blow my head off. | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:08:35 AM | | At the time I was very much interested in jumping into a relationship. I have a great notion of what love is in all its glory lol So the mistake i made...i made before the relationship began. See because I wanted to be in a relationship so badly I set certain expectation for myself. I am also an open book and love talking about what is important to me or what i want. So when I met a girl who I was attracted to who at the same time was looking for the same thing in return; I project these expectations onto her before even giving myself enough time to find out who this girl really is. Whats worse is by being to open about myself I gave her all the tools necessary to use and manupulate me to play the role of a bf which she wanted but not who I was. but everything had its time and place and I am very greateful that I wetn through this expereince because it has brought me here. So although is was wrong of me to do I had to do to now know better. Its all about being comfortable in your own skin knowing what you want and living your life. So when the right girl does come along all I want is for her to be herself and it will be that much more of a special thing when its real. | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2008 10:56:12 AM | I must agree with some of the posters that there are many things that "you did wrong" that are fairly self serving. Things that reveal more about what one’s partner did wrong, not what we did wrong.
I was in a job searching seminar last week, and they review questions you might get asked on a job interview. When asked what your faults are, you are taught to reveal faults that are actually positives. Like, "I work too hard at my job'" or “I'm just too driven to succeed some times." Some of the responses here seem in that vein:
“Stayed too long.”
“Trusted to much.”
“Loved to much.”
“I gave too much.”
I think the spirit of the thread is to evaluate what we have done poorly, with the goal of being a better person / lover / mate in the future, so that we can all ultimately find happiness. This doesn’t mean that we are bad people, only that in every relationship, we could always have done things better and differently. Anyway . . .
So what things did you do wrong, what mistakes did you make, etc?
I did things that made her lose respect for me. Nothing major, but, in retrospect, a slow fairly steady diet of things. She’d make a comment about a jacket or shirt, and I’d change it, even though she said she was just asking. I’d kiss her neck and it would tickle, and I’d make a big deal about not doing it again. I was trying to get some kind of reaction I guess. She flew off the handle at something, and yelled at me for no reason. I reacted by being surprised, and hurt, when I should have stood up to her. She commented on that too. Perhaps not a huge deal, but she always made it clear she likes “guys who act like guys.” And for some reason, I started to pout a bit, I think.
And how will you prevent yourself from doing it in your next relationship?
I do need to work on boundaries. I don’t set them well, and I can allow myself to get run over by trying to be the proverbial nice guy. I think it’s important to set boundaries in all relationships. It’s true when people say that respect precedes love. | |
|
| |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2008 3:37:50 PM | This is such an intriguing question... it's so hard to answer! I think I probably expected too much, didn't talk enough, and may have bailed a little hastily because of that. We're friends now, though, so it worked out okay. I don't know how I can put this one to use in future, as it was very atypical - usually I've had no difficulty asking for what I wanted, and more often than not, got it! | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2008 4:38:12 PM | | We stayed living together because of our kids. I put up with things I should not have and I missed a few red flags that I should have seen. How does one get 20k in the hole in credit card debt? I know....addiction! | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2008 6:02:30 PM | Ignoring the signs that she wanted out....
I think it was when she started telling me about the good times she and her girlfriends from work were having...something about table or lap dances for the guys in the table behind them...
Trying to save for a house and working two jobs..... | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:54:34 PM | I "gathered evidence" against him trying to make him wrong when the truth is it just wasn't a good fit, trust was not present, and the emotional connection plateaued way too early... I stayed too long, believing I needed a reason to leave (other than 'this isn't working for me,' when that's always enough reason)... not the way I want to experience a relationship again.
Eh, it's all good. I'm a work in progress, as is he, and I wish us both the best. | |
|
| |
| |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:14:16 AM | I liked him. told him so and was summarily ushered out of his house, blocked on his buddy list and had my one phone call ignored. of course, to be fair, he had stated in his profile that he wanted "a relationship that I don't have to define, but still feels good."
I can only say that meant that it was his way or the highway. | |
|
BCLVR
| | Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 645 | |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:18:54 AM | Absolutely nothing ... I gave 110% and she didn't give a thing ...
At least that's what she said at the end of her reply to an email I sent her right after I posted on this thread a week ago (I directly asked her 'what did I do'). The end of her email where she actually said what the problem was but still concluded by saying there was nothing I did wrong ...
Mind you, I don't believe in using profanity and haven't for many years, but recently I did start cussing at my computer when I got pissed with it. And puppy crapping all over my breakfast nook that one time prompted a few choice words! I cussed, releasing my anger, and that was the end of it- I'll admit, it even made me feel good. Not to excuse my profanity and anger, it was NEVER directed at her nor did I have a clue it even bothered her (she also used profanity on occasion)
Nonetheless, in her cordial response she explained how she saw the same behavior in her parents as well as her past relationships (which eventually escalated being directed to each other and physical violence). She was afraid WE would end up the same.
I find it so extremely sad that rather that nip things in the bud by saying something to start out with, she merely chose to make excuse after excuse for not seeing me. Never said a word until now, 9 months later. In my ignorance, I used profanity when I became upset with something, in the end probably costing my realtionship. Would I have stopped cussing/ found more appropriate methods of 'anger management?
Hmmm ... relationship with the woman I have never loved another woman more than ... cussing ... the woman of my dreams ... cussing ... Not a difficult choice, I'll take the woman.
Moral of the story, COMMUNICATE when you have a problem with someone you love! | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:33:15 PM | | I became too complacent. After over 23 years of marriage I thought we were gonna be together forever, no matter what. That's what he had promised and I finally believed it was gonna happen. It's taught me to never take a relationship for granted again. | |
|
| |
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:07:37 PM | absolutely nothing. he lied about financial problems, he lied about his xgf, and he lied about posting his profile on this website begind my back while we were still together....
oh wait, i guess i DID do somthing wrong. I actually felt sorry for him and gave him second and third chances even after he prooved he could not be trusted.
yup, it was all my fault.
 | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:34:50 PM | | I depended on him too much for companionship. He got a travelling job, and I was unhappy. If I could have learned to be happy alone, this would have solved everything. I could not let him go, and get a life all by myself and be married. So, now I can. I have total freedom. | |
|
| What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:07:36 PM | #1Rushed in too fast and did not let it take the course. Now i insist that i slow down and pace myself.
And #2 staying too long when you know it will never get any better. Bigger mistake than even the above!  however if i can correct that one i think this one might not happen...
#3 ok last one ..i am too controling.....tend to be in control mode most of my awaking hours and it spills over into my personal realtionships. | |
|
|
|
|
Page
26
of
30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
|
|
Home
login 
