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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?      Home login  
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 jindelray
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 701
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Page 29 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
I started it and never should have. I failed to trust my own instincts. I've finally "got" this lesson, costly as it was.
 shawnmj
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 702
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:58:38 PM
It was my only relationship in which I could not establish trust (not due to anything she did)
 ColorsOutsideTheLines
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 703
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:01:03 PM
I took him back after he walked out the first time................
 lilsheridan
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 704
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:12:39 PM
I kept thinking it was all me, all in my head, that I obviously had issues because he was so great... From now on, it doesn't matter why or who's fault it's not good, if it's not good it's over. Doesn't matter how good it could be "if ..."
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 705
view profile
History
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:22:24 PM
Ok, on a few posts I responded to, I mentioned what he did, but I did admit my faults. I know I'm not perfect. For me, it's communication, which to this day I'm trying to break my bad habits. I tend to not be assertive at times.

I was too nice to him and it went unappeciated. I would always try to help a guy out and all it let to is him taking advantage of me.
 divagreen
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 706
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:34:10 PM
Not counting the relationship that I am in, (because of course I am behaving perfectly... ).
I swam in the river of De-Nile, became this needy, dependent, pathetic thing, and tried to twist myself into an emotional pretzel so that I could make him "happy". My friends didn't recognize me, my family didn't recognize me, most importantly I didn't recognize me and I made a vow to myself that I will so never do that again!
I just didn't trust my intuition, since he was cheating on me the whole time. Next time I will answer that question, "what do you know, that you are pretending not to know?"
 notwow
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 707
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:47:52 PM
Nothing.

Well, except once again assuming that when a woman says she wants a long term relationship, that she means it. Not that she tells me, "We need to talk, it is not you, but me".

I know that common knowledge has it that men are commitment phobes, but I find the exact opposite. I have repeatedly been told I am a nice guy, they want to keep being friends, and in a couple of cases want to be f*ck buddies on an ongoing basis. Sorry, if you want me in bed, you need to have me in your heart also. Getting laid is easy, it's finding that real relationship that is hard.

Confusing? You bet... especially when everyone involved is over 50.
 cuddlelicious
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 708
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:20:04 PM
I gave him more consideration and loyalty than he was worth. I spent all of my time pleasing him and lost myself. I gave him permission to treat me the way that he did. I take responsibility for that.
 N.S.Guy
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 709
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:20:43 AM
My biggest mistake was staying in it even though I knew we were poison together.
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 710
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 4:26:15 AM
Man I love how many people continue to basically say "I was too good a person." or "I let him/her****me over."

You'd think nobody here has ever done anyone wrong. Jesus I, in no way, feel that I did more harm to my ex than she did to me. Morally, emotionally or otherwise. To say though that I'm innocent is ridiculous. Hell I was a****and over jealous when I didn't need to be and oblivious when I should have payed attention.

Hell I wouldn't even take my fat ass to the gym until 3 and a half years after she tossed me aside for some other dude. Regardless of how it ended, I coulda respected he more when she sorta deserved it, probably a little less when she didn't though.

Point is, I'm no saint and I don't believe the people that claim to be.
 Bored_Housewife
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 711
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 4:35:35 AM
I got pregnant and married the guy! Then on top of that I stayed for 5 years old cheating, lying and abuse! But I have learnt some valuable lessons, and I believe it has made me stronger...
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 712
view profile
History
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:07:04 AM
OP, First of all, shame on you for starting this thread without 'coming clean' first!

That out of the way, my first answer was 'Stayed too long.' - 20 yr relationship/marriage.

But I acknowlage that that answer is a cop-out, job interview answer...Like when ever I hear:
Q:What are your faults?
A:Well, I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.

Or

I'm too accomodating/nice...was a doormat

My BS detector goes off the scale! lol!

Thinking a bit more honestly, since I've given this subject a lot of thought... I'd say: Impulse control in certain aspects of my life. I didn't stay calm when attacked or annoyed, didn't refrain from overeating when stressed. I'm much better at all that now! Actually, Having a kid helped me to get in touch with my inner 'Zen Master' Not soon enough to save the marriage, but soon enough to ensure a calm divorce! No, REALLY! lol

Oh, explosivesheep, post 713, EXACTLY what I was thinking...most people aren't 'listening' to the question! Or their 'answer'. :-P
 ScoobyDooby Doo
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 713
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:11:36 AM
Got married at 17.
 Sea Bound - Master
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 714
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:43:56 AM
Making mistakes, whether in life or in a relationship is something, I believe, that we all do and have to experience in order to mature, grow and gain wisdom. Hopefully we learn and dont have to go around the circle twice. Looking inward over my life has been the best way to see who I really am and then I make the necessary changes. Thats all one can do. Good life and good living to you all
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 715
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:32:35 AM
.........................................................................................................................................

What did I do wrong in my last relationship? Gawd that was sooo long ago!! .. What did "I" do wrong .. I took a stupid pill. ((That's how I felt!))..

I ignored the red flags. Lied to myself, got caught up in His chaos and turmoil with his ex.

Yup, that's it - I ignored my own truth. That was long ago and only lasted 3 months - Best lesson I've had in years! and No .. No I'm not gonna thank him! ;)
 fruitnut
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 716
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:53:04 AM
It was getting boring so I chuck him bck in the pond.
 Athletic Lady
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 717
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:19:50 AM
I should have addressed the red flags sooner instead of worrying about being too hard on they guy. Next time I will go with my gut...if it doesn't feel right, it's not right.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 718
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History
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:24:23 PM
Didn't read all the forums before I started dating........

Fell to hard, to deep to fast.
Didn't know what "Red Flags were".
Didn't listen to my gut.
Didn't ask the right questions when the time was right......saved it for later...MY BAD.
Thought to much/analyzed to much.
Didn't hear what she was really saying!!!
Jumped ship to quick...re-joined the dating sites to quick!!!
Thought we could work it out.
Fought when I don't believe in fighting.....brings out the nasty side!
Letting myself be compared to the past!
Tried to many times to make it work.

Hey, she's still a nice person. Just sorry it didn't work. Oh, and I don't need to list what I thought she did wrong.........she knows that better than I.
 WokkaWokka
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 719
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:47:19 PM
everything, just ask her
 kmb126
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 720
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:10:14 PM
I tried to hard to make everything perfect and stopped telling my other half I was feeling hurt. I think that I have learned that relationships are not perfect no matter how hard you try. To be yourself, if the other person loves you they will accept you as you are. AND TALK dont stop TALKING!
 talkativebutterfly
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 721
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:15:49 PM
I was a party girl. I picked my friends over my boyfriend. He rather stay home and watch tv and go to bed before ten. I rather shake my bum-bum in the club and stay up to 3 am and YES! I can get up for work the next day.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 722
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:24:43 PM

I see tons of threads about what the other person did wrong, but rarely see people take responsibility for their own mistakes. So what things did you do wrong, what mistakes did you make, etc? And how will you prevent yourself from doing it in your next relationship?


What happens when I stop making mistakes? Do I become omnipotent or something? The truth is, I stop learning and growing. There's a huge difference between making a mistake and doing something wrong.

Wrong implies intent to harm or knowledge that what I did would be harmful. I'm allowed to make mistakes. My mistake? I didn't make the best choice in a partner. I am powerless to change other people. I can only change myself and even then not completely. Nothing I could do to "make her" into what I want. Changing to suit her would have required my being phony and insincere. I've made that mistake before, and I probably will again until I find someone who is the best choice. Even then, she may not see me as her best choice.

I have zero control over that. The worst thing I can do to myself is become afraid of making mistakes. Once I know it's a mistake and I repeat it, then it becomes a wrong. So I aim higher each time.

I can't blame other people for being themselves, nor can I change them. Changing myself to suit others would be dishonest and insincere also.

Mike
 i_hate_bugs
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 723
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:36:33 PM
I let it last longer than it should. It should've lasted only a few dates. I wasn't attracted to him and I didn't feel it in the beginning but I went through with it anyway and lead him on. I ended up wasting my time and his.
 funksoulbrutha
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 724
view profile
History
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:40:11 PM
I was seeing a woman for 2 years. Ok, watching her. Same thing right? RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!
 Lost and found78
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 725
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:58:20 PM
I've made mistakes in every relationship I've ever had. I have learned from most of them. I am certain I will make mistakes in the future (hopefully none that will cost me a relationship).

What really gets me about this thread is that it was really meant to be a "confession" thread. I see way too many people posting "I confess, it was his/her fault" type entries. Sheesh, get over yourself. If you can't admit you made mistakes than don't post.

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