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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:34:34 PM |
What about if both parties are of like mind. Like attracts like, so is it possible for both not to be interested in marriage.... Look at couples like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, they have been together for about 20 years with marriage, or Susan sarandon and Tim Robbins, they have been together for about 17.
Not everyone needs the paper, But if that's what you need then more power to you. No wrong or right here, it's all about what works best for us. The marriage thing is not big on my list and i doubt very much if i would be attracted to a woman that needed that piece of paper for validation..... But that's just me.
I don't understand it, but if both want it, it is different. I have known a lot of people where one very much wanted to get married, but settled for a live in arrangement.
Yes, before I live with a man I want the paper. I know that nothing in life is a sure thing, but at the same time, if I am willing to commit to someone, I am willing to take the risk and marry them. I really just don't know what everyone is so afraid of. | |
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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:09:58 PM | " I really don't know what everyone is so afraid of"
Who said we were afraid, maybe we are just secure enough in our relationships not to feel the need to get married. | |
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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:12:19 AM | I can't believe there aren't more people in the same situation that I am in. My husband was killed on the job. In the state of Oregon, you can't sue an employer who was negligent even if you're killed on the job. They have to pay me workman's comp for the rest of my life until I remarry. They come and interview me once a year to ask me if I have any plans to get married. I want to say to them "do I look stupid? "I would lose thousands of dollars to have a piece of paper.
I know a religious lady that got married because it was a sin to live together and ended up marrying a wife beater. She lost her income and now can barely support herself.
I know there are other people who would lose their incomes from other situations if they got married. I really don't see why a marriage certificate would hold a couple together if they aren't happy. | |
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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:01:26 AM | Commitment Ceremony?
What a load of crap.
That's my .02
Hell, people get married for the wrong reasons daily but damn... | |
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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:05:52 AM | Well, being separated and having to wait a full YEAR of living apart to get the dam* divorce... makes me *very* marriage shy.
So I say I will never remarry. I dont' ever want the law to tell me who I can and can't be binded to. If I am in a relationship and it dies, I don't want to be stuck to the person for X months just because of the US government.
Um, have I mentioned just how much I hate being told what to do? LOL And how I think rules apply to other people, not me?
Yeah, well, anyway... If I fell in love and eventually decided I wanted to spend my life w/someone, I would be very happy to have a commitment ceremony. You know, dancing nekkid under the full moon in the woods kinda thing. OK, maybe not nekkid. But a midnight ceremony, with a full moon, in the summer, in the woods, with family and our kids there... as we pledge our love to each other for the rest of our lives... Now to me, that's a LOT more meaningful than going to city hall and getting a piece of paper that gives the government the right to tell me what I can and can't do with the person.
To each his own.
I will say that if a legal ceremony was important to my man and I felt courageous enough to gamble on the marriage lasting, then I would do it...but only after a LOT of years together, like, 3-4??? So I'd do it for him. But not for me. I'd much rather a meaninful commitment ceremony that we created on our own.
It's what's in my heart that commits me to someone, not my legal status. *shrug* I tellmy almost-ex that when he tries to keep calling me "his wife" because we have 5 months to go before we can file the divorce. I tell him, "I'm already divorced from you, in my heart, and that's where it counts".
Kaylie | |
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| Marriage VS a commitnent ceremony?
Posted: 7/16/2008 2:19:22 PM | | Those who opt for 'commitement ceremonies' over marriage are really saying;"I love my money, and possessions more than I love you"...which is a bad way to start any relationship; let alone a committed one. In some states such arrangements are invalid anyway. In some states if either of you can prove that you spent a night together, you are married under common law, and your common law spouse is as entitled to your wealth as any spouse would be. I'd be too insulted to go through something like this. We can stay apart, or shack up without a ceremony, or get married. Trying to have bit of everything-with a commitment ceremony-is stupid. It says:"I don't trust you". Why live with someone who won't trust you? | |
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