| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:32:23 AM | I have to agree with many of the other poster's here. It is defined as "preferences", "choices" ....... i.e. what you like.
Yes, some can be blunt about what they write, while others have a much better approach of expressing what they do and what they don't prefer. I have no qualms with men stating what type of woman they are looking for in their profiles, saves time IMHO ~shrugs~ Just move on OP if you do not fall within the parameters set forth in a particular profile. I think, prior to you posting this thread, perhaps you should have read some profiles of the men.
State what you like in your profile. If indeed you prefer small, petite women then type it. Just as simple as that. I have seen men state this in their profiles hundreds of times.
I would never hold anything against anyone's preferences to whom they are attracted.
I would like to know where you came up the the notion that anything is "fair" in this gift we refer to as "life"? And "balanced"? Pfffttt! You should know better than this OP.
No, OP, you wouldn't be hunted down and castrated, we save that for the truly offensive here in POF-dom and drag them off to RedCassandra's dungeon, never to be seen or heard from again.  | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:37:24 AM | Have you thought that the women who put this on their profiles are not looking to make new friends to just talk to ? Maybe they are looking for a partner in life who they will be attracted to ? While putting this in such blunt terms is rude , then at least a fat man will know he has no chance with this woman.
As for men not putting "no fat chicks allowed " on their profile , well I say bull. You obviously have not been looking at mens profiles. I have seen it put that rudely and even worse . So yeah their are rude people in both genders. What I find rather weird is when the man or woman who puts "no fatties" on their profiles, is clearly fat themselves. Boy , can you say delusional. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:23:09 AM | Maybe women and men have a different idea of whats unattractive when it comes to weight.
I mean I would much prefer a woman who is thin. Though that dosen't completly throw out the options more curvaceous women have.
I think a man gets frusterated when theres no leeway on a womans part. Eventually you wonder if they unrealistically expect a man to have a six pack and washboard abs.
I mean im not expecting it out of a woman. Thin isn's necessarily athletic or in good shape and everyone has a bit of chub here and there.
Oh and btw from my memories of school there wasn't one woman with a supermodel body. Everyone had some chub here and there even the most petite and thin. So if anyone wants heman or She-ra, they've got to be kidding themselves.
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:14:09 AM | I'd agree that men and women do have a different idea of what is unattractive when it comes to weight.
Most women I know don't mind a man with a little chub, but don't understand why a man sees a woman that's a size 14 as a BBW. There's a noticeable gap between what men see as average (around a size 8) and what women see as average (around a size 14). From what I've observed, men see "extra chub" as occurring at around size 10 which is 2 sizes smaller than what many women see as average. So the point where men come across as "unrealistic" occurs when men still believe they're being flexible. A man thinks he's being stringent when he will not consider anyone above a size 6 (supermodels are usually size 2 - 4).
So in my opinion, women and men are giving leeway, it's just not noted by the opposite gender due to differing opinions of what is average. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:17:49 AM | It is totally fair. As I've seen the profiles, those who do it in a "rude" fashion usually get less favorites than those who are polite (and that goes for both sexes) ...
The key is that we're here to find the person that is right for us, not to win a popularity contest. If a preference seems rude to bring up, but it really is a criteria for you to find that right person, you have to bring it up. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:24:37 AM | you can say it if you like on your profile as well. it's really the bluntness that gets you in trouble on weight issues.
there's a difference between:
"Oh yeah....and by the way, if you're some fat ****ing pig, I'm not interested. So don't bother messaging me, my time is important! I don't have hours to sit here reading your fatty fat **** emails all day long. I mean look at me, why would I ever go for someone like you!!!!"
and
"The type of person I prefer is slim or athletic. Although that is not written in stone." | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:43:03 AM |
Ok, I have noticed that several of the women I have viewed on here has said blunty, no fat men, that is so nasty, while I am inclined to agree, I personally like small petite or thin women, I did not say that I would not talk to fat women. If I had put something like that in my profile I would have been hunted down and castrated by the female population in general. How is it fair and balanced for women to be able to dislike fat men, but if we do we are shallow pigs who think of nothing but looks?!?
I have read hundreds of profiles on here where men specifically say they want someone thin/fit/not fat/not lazy etc. USUALLY... when i read these profiles... I MOVE ON. Yeah, it really is as simple as that.
These men (and women) are welcome to have their own preferences. To be honest... at least they got it out there right away. I would hate to talk to a guy for a long time, dvelop feelings for him, then him tell me......
I personally like small petite or thin women, I did not say that I would not talk to fat women
The fact that YOU HAVE THE VERY SAME preferences as ALL these women that you are complaining about. The difference between you and them.... you are sneaky about what you like.
I'd be more inclined to trust some supposedly "shallow" man/woman who is openly honest about not being attracted to someone who looks a certain way over a fat man who will drop the "you are not thin enough for my taste" bomb in mid getting to know each other. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:00:26 AM | | It is fair it's their prefer like you have yours. Hey if you're fat at least you can lose the weight. So if you want a thin woman lose the weight it's not that hard if you try. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:08:19 AM | those are shallow people- who focus on looks alone. I prefer to not even see a pic of a person when I'm getting to know them, that way I won't be distracted away from their heart which is what I really want to hear/speak to.
Pics are fun and I am as guilty as the next person of *looking* when I see a handsome man, or pretty woman for that matter.
But if I don't like what I read in the profile- it's hollow. Don't care about a pretty shell- that's not gonna last.
You're young, adorable [no fat gut yet that I can see!] and sound a little sensitive. And you're a Big Boy! Actually, I prefer my men a little on the thick side. You look just about right!
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 12:14:24 PM | Why would you care if they hunt you down!! haven't you heard the
"block"
"ignore im" .. you can click them like . They are gone!!
I can't see why you care about a hypocritic girl/guy..
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 12:44:46 PM | whereareallthefish
I think a man gets frusterated when theres no leeway on a womans part. Eventually you wonder if they unrealistically expect a man to have a six pack and washboard abs.
Once again when is the last time you have looked at a 100+ samplings of what men state in THEIR profiles?
There are plenty of men that have a laundy list of demands, and wants, and what not, that it makes women wonder where is the flexibility, and how unrealistic a man is in his expectations. No fatties, must have big boobs, must make at least half as I make, no kids, not into petites, perfer a red head, wants someone very attractive, must be a Christian God fearing woman, wants someone at least 10 yrs younger than them, must be intelligent, and up to date on current affairs, must be fit as myself, et al.
Hopefully you kind of get the idea of what we too get to see.
As stated repeatedly, these issues are NOT one gender only issues, there are plenty of fish that seem to think on line dating is like ordering a burger, or out of some on line catalog. Then they get all flustered that people don't act the way they want them to act.
Robot store this is not, people all have personalities, baggage, and wants and desires of their own, thus if they have a laundry list of demands, it limits their choices. Instead of being flustered at them, perhaps a little pitty on them is in order, because they may miss someone really terrific that came in a different package then they were demanding.
They say they are happy being alone, which we all know is a crock, because they wouldn't be on a dating site if they really were..... | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:17:33 PM | | I don't like skinny men but I do not rule them out. They just have to have something more to keep my attention. I like guys to say what they like that way I can say ok this guy not for me. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:30:02 PM | I prefer to not even see a pic of a person when I'm getting to know them, that way I won't be distracted away from their heart which is what I really want to hear/speak to
I agree,
But most people today have to have a list of what they want/think they need.
I don't have any preference’s I don't know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with , I was never given a photo of her...but I hope I'll recognize her heart,mind and soul.
But I do think that if you do have a list of must have's and can't stands.
You should find a polite way of saying it......and people wonder why online datig is getting a bad rap. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:33:05 PM | | Well, if I clicked on a cute guy and he had something vile like that in HIS profile, I wouldn't say hello and just move on. Hopefully that happens to her too - a nice looking guy clicks on her, reads that, and thinks "wow i so would not want to date this girl" and off he goes! | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 2:44:37 PM | "totally unfair"
Wow OP, you whine about something so unimportant? 
"totally unfair" sounds like grade school playground talk.
I had an accident a few years ago... now I wheel around instead of walk around.
I've never once... seriously, never once... said "unfair". Let alone "totally" unfair.
Roll with the punches, OP. Life will be smoother.
Don't let the small stuff get ya so upset. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:41:07 PM | I don't like skinny men but I do not rule them out. They just have to have something more to keep my attention. I like guys to say what they like that way I can say ok this guy not for me.
Yeah, I agree... I'd rather know how someone feels, so I know I wouldn't be interested in them, anyway.. Even if I were a size 6, I wouldn't be interested in someone who says "not fat chicks" or something similar in his profile. I like a man to have some class.
And... I'm the same way about skinny guys. I'm really not into skinny guys, but it's not all about looks, or one particular thing - it's about the person as a whole. He may have something else attractive about him - eyes, smile, good heart, or whatever. That would be like prefering brown eyes, but not giving someone a chance just because they have green eyes! That would be silly and petty. lol | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:47:48 PM | Please don't say "I'm into fitness." Believe it or not, there are lots of us fat cow whales that do enjoy fitness activities and we do work out regularly. We just are fat.
So just say, "no BBW" or "no one over X weight." The we know exactly where you stand. (Obvious dealbreaker for me even if I was thin.)
Of course, my favorites include the men who do have all the code language for "NO FAT CHIX!!!LULZ!!!!!" and send emails upon emails until you finally answer, "uhm, did you not notice I am FAT!!!!LULZ!!!!" Then they either go away or tell you some BS about oh you're not too bad. No thanks bud. You made your bed, sleep in it. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:59:05 PM |
OP apparently you haven't read enough male profiles because plenty of them state NO BBW's, if you're over a size 14 don't bother, no fat chicks, etc. Both genders can be equally rude.
Thats just plain rude. So is the no fat men reference. I would prefer to read what you do like. Why not say, "I'm into more athletic men/women?" They both say the same exact thing only one is more plesent.
I guess people on the internet feel they can be ruder because no one knows them. I wished a person happy Easter on a different webpage. Her response was and I quote, "as if fatty." And all I sent her was a happy Easter bumper sticker. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:34:03 AM | what i do not understand , is when guys put in there profile they want small petite woman, yet they are larger than a whale. i mean they would crush the poor dear...
my preference would be shallow to some people but i do not care for man boobs, sorry just do not... also, i do not mind a small tummy on a man, but..... my most written rule and i stand by, is this.: his dong better touch me before his belly. and i mean it. or he is out of here.
have a gfriend that has a guy friend that has a med. tummy but his dong she says is long enough. but she has threatened him if he gets any larger in the tummy he is out of there.
so i guess me and some woman feel this way about men man boobs and too large tummy, but i do believe for every man there is a woman for them. so i do not bash large tummy men, i say go ahead and get large as you want, and your probably a great guy to have as a friend. just not as MY personal lover. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:16:15 PM | | I think a lot of people are rude on the internet but if you are at Starbucks and their are two people sitting all other seats taken but the one s next to them do you sit next to the one who you are most attracted to? Would you like to know before you walk near if the person was rude or unfeeling? | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:01:48 PM | Haha, you could try sneaking it into your interests... I'm one of those "shallow pigs" who doesn't date overweight guys, and I've got "health" and "fitness" in mine. It's obvious that a 300-lb guy probably wouldn't share those interests (and in case I get snapped at, I was 200 lbs before and lost it so I know there's no excuse unless you're one of the less than 10% with an obesity-causing disease). Or don't say "no fatties", be positive: "I'd like a fit woman who -insert whatever else here-"
But either way, I see nothing unfair about it at all; you can't force attraction. If you want a short, fit woman, then someone who isn't shouldn't be offended in the least. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:17:35 PM | Hmmm. Would you mind pointing me to a profile made by a real woman who is fat AND who prefers petite or thin men??? You would be "castrated" because you are clearly a hypocrite.
"Fit" people want to date other "fit" people, and while I'm not a social scientist like YOU, I would bet that it's the MEN who are more critical of body types, as we have seen by your OP here. Get a grip. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:28:22 PM |
Thats just plain rude. So is the no fat men reference. I would prefer to read what you do like. Why not say, "I'm into more athletic men/women?" They both say the same exact thing only one is more plesent.
I'd much rather read "no fatties". It is clear, simple and to the point.
Saying "I'm into more athletic men/women" is not the same thing.
Many of us fatties are athletic and very active so it doesn't immediately weed us out whereas saying "no fatties" absolutely will.
Seriously, why is the word fat considered rude? It's just a word that is descriptive. No one considers thin rude. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:34:37 PM |
Would you mind pointing me to a profile made by a real woman who is fat AND who prefers petite or thin men??? You would be "castrated" because you are clearly a hypocrite.
Lot's of real fat women will only consider thin, trim, athletic men.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. one day it might hit home.
There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about a fat person preferring a thin person. That is as ridiculous as saying that someone with green eyes is hypocritical because they prefer someone w/brown eyes. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:42:57 PM | "There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about a fat person preferring a thin person. That is as ridiculous as saying that someone with green eyes is hypocritical because they prefer someone w/brown eyes."
Except weight is controllable and eye color is only controllable with colored contacts (just to satiate the picky people). Being overweight - unless it is due to heavy muscle mass, which is rare - is unhealthy and mended. I would definitely say it's hypocritical to only want someone who takes care of themselves and can control their habits when you yourself can't even be bothered to balance your eating and Calorie burning.
Even though you might have preferences, other people do too, and you can't be offended if a thin person you like rejects you because of your weight. | |
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