| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:00:00 PM |
Lot's of real fat women will only consider thin, trim, athletic men
Really? Would you say that the majority of fat women are that "unfair"? Like the OP? I'd be interested in seeing some real profiles, like I suggested before.
There is a difference between hypocracy and preference. Accepting that the OP is being hypocritical rather than simply stating a preference would also mean accepting that the OP, among many others, views fat people as unworthy of him. Some fat people don't want to view themselves as unworthy of anyone so of course they want to just call it a preference. See, if the OP loses weight he can call it a preference because he has done some work to make sure he, himself is fit and has equally high expectations of others.
The eye color analogy is completely ridiculous, you must be joking. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:02:05 PM |
Except weight is controllable and eye color is only controllable with colored contacts (just to satiate the picky people). Being overweight - unless it is due to heavy muscle mass, which is rare - is unhealthy and mended. I would definitely say it's hypocritical to only want someone who takes care of themselves and can control their habits when you yourself can't even be bothered to balance your eating and Calorie burning.
Even though you might have preferences, other people do too, and you can't be offended if a thin person you like rejects you because of your weight.
The assumption being that because a person is thin that they take care of themselves, are more in control of their body and that they are bothered to balance their caloric intake and energy output. Dude, that is seriously funny. Round up 25 thin people (not the gym rats) and 25 fat people (not the chubby cute kind either) and survey them and get back to me about who is more aware of their body, their caloric intake and energy output.
I didn't state my preferences - if that's directed to me in particular. :)
I'm never offended if someone doesn't dig me because I'm fat... or short, have hazel eyes, curly hair, kids, etc. Those that aren't interested in me don't really enter into the lexicon of my thoughts. C'est le vie.
My point is that preferences don't need justified and it isn't hypocritical. Period. Unrealistic? Maybe. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:18:59 PM |
Really? Would you say that the majority of fat women are that "unfair"? Like the OP? I'd be interested in seeing some real profiles, like I suggested before.
Well, first off what is "unfair" about it?
I don't look at womens profiles but I know plenty of women who are morbidly obese that wouldn't even look twice at a dude in their weight class.
There is a difference between hypocracy and preference. Accepting that the OP is being hypocritical rather than simply stating a preference would also mean accepting that the OP, among many others, views fat people as unworthy of him. Some fat people don't want to view themselves as unworthy of anyone so of course they want to just call it a preference. See, if the OP loses weight he can call it a preference because he has done some work to make sure he, himself is fit and has equally high expectations of others.
The eye color analogy is completely ridiculous, you must be joking.
Yes and the difference is this:
Preference: the power or opportunity of choosing
Hypocrite: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings
I don't see how being fat and preferring thin is hypocritical. It really is just a preference of what is the most attractive to an individual. The opportunity to choose does not need justified and being fat is not in contradiction to a belief or feeling that thin is attractive. The eye color analogy stands.
Why only if he loses weight? Does that somehow change his beliefs or feelings? Of course not. He will still be attracted to whomever tweaks his radar. Or.. is it that only if he loses weight is he then deserving of having a preference? How unfair!
I do see that assuming that fat people should only be dating other fat people is saying that fat people are unworthy of anything else. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:11:50 AM | | There is nothing wrong with adding in what you're attracted to or not attracted to, on your profile. That goes for both men and women. But it's the delivery that is wrong. Saying "I'm not into fat men" is one thing but the last part "that is so nasty", shows their maturity level is not very high. Be thankful they added that. I bet a lot of fit men would see that as immature and move on. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:20:56 AM | | I actually appreciate it when people but stuff like that in their profile. It shows me what type of person I am dealing with. Remember the saying "It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"? That's how I feel about the "no fat guys/chicks" thing. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:27:43 AM | | Stating a preference or requirement isn't necessary rude. But the way you state your preferences / requirements could be rude. Stating that "I am attracted to someone with slender, fit, or average body type" is better than saying that "I don't like fat men / women" or "fat people are gross". | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:39:46 AM |
There is nothing wrong with adding in what you're attracted to or not attracted to, on your profile. That goes for both men and women. But it's the delivery that is wrong. Saying "I'm not into fat men" is one thing but the last part "that is so nasty", shows their maturity level is not very high. Be thankful they added that. I bet a lot of fit men would see that as immature and move on.
I agree. On my profile I stated that I'm not attracted to obese men. But I would never state that obese men are nasty, gross, repulsive etc. Sometimes it is easier to list what you aren't attracted to because that list is much shorter. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:00:08 PM | You said it yourself - you personally like small, petite or thin women.
Sounds like you can dish it out, but you cant take it.
(Its a matter of personal preference. I don't think you should be angry because some women dont like your weight. You dont like some women's weight. So its equal) | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/16/2008 9:55:22 AM | "Round up 25 thin people (not the gym rats) and 25 fat people (not the chubby cute kind either) and survey them and get back to me about who is more aware of their body, their caloric intake and energy output."
Whether they are aware or not doesn't change the fact that if you are overweight, you're either eating too much or exercising too little (unless you are in the process of losing the weight of course). If you're aware of the intake/output process and you're still chowing down on 5 cookies everyday, then we've still got the problem.
And of course, we're not talking about SKINNY people here, we're talking about trim people, people of a healthy weight for their height and build. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:52:17 PM | | O.K....it's rude, and politically incorrect, but that is life. Women are as entitled to have their preferences as men are. Some don't like fat guys; just as some guys don't like fat gals. Would you rather know about such a thing in advance...or only after you'd met in person on a blind date, and spent money on dinner, etc? | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:01:02 PM |
Ok, I have noticed that several of the women I have viewed on here has said blunty, no fat men, that is so nasty, while I am inclined to agree, I personally like small petite or thin women, I did not say that I would not talk to fat women.
Some people aren't here just looking for talk, so they state their physical preferences up front in their profiles, I guess. Whereas some evidently prefer to start a thread stating their personal dating preferences in a more roundabout way for " mainly small/petite/thin women" instead?  
Just teasing. OP, it's just the nature of online dating, methinks, and I dunno...maybe those women are just getting bombarded by emails from people how haven't read their profile, so now they feel they have to be blunt to get their point across? But hey, at least you can't fault them for not being honest right off-the-bat. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:02:55 PM | What does it matter what anyone has written in their profile? If you are not interested in contacting them because of a judgment made by them, don't!
When I first joined POF I used to take things personally, but I've learned to simply move on. The only time I have a momentary urge...that passes...to tell someone off is when a man who has at least 100 pounds on me tells me I'm too fat for him. WTF!!None of us are going to be a match for everyone who looks at our profile, but there is no need to be rude in replying.... | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:28:32 PM | | sweetness-one, I have to slightly disagree; to me, that is like saying, "Yes, I smoked pot, but I didn't inhale." Am I really supposed to be sitting here saying, "Wow, that's a guy with integrity; though he doesn't prefer fat women, he can make time in the day to talk to them."? Just curious. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:02:03 AM | ^^^ No, not at all. Actually, I was pointing out...well what exactly was his kvetch in the first place, since he's doing the exact same thing with this thread? His O-Post states that he isn't interested in dating girls who aren't slim and petite...if he'd just clearly stated that in his profile, (like the womens' profiles that he's bytching about) then he could save them a step by being honest right off the bat. Instead he chose to start a thread, to basically say the same thing but in a roundabout way. That is, if one is just looking for dates. For friends, it shouldn't make a difference what they look like. That's all I meant though...OP is the pot calling the kettle black.  | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:25:11 AM |
whoa whoa whoa, back to the original post. Men actually read profiles?
So, I heard you like pistachios and Avernum. I also heard you plan to move to Los Angeles with your art degree. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:39:25 AM | I agree with most people on this one.
Guys and girls are equally "rude" with this one. I don't consider that rude, just a preference. Like Blonde chicks or somethin.
Some people just aren't attracted to bigger people, unfortunately cuz some of us are actually decent looking lol
I also don't think that you should be as worried as how much someone weighs. You never know what could happen, that fat person might of been the best kisser of ur life and could of rocked your world lol
People are quick to judge on size instead of personality. | |
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| You know, that is totally unfair!
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:20:56 PM |
Whether they are aware or not doesn't change the fact that if you are overweight, you're either eating too much or exercising too little (unless you are in the process of losing the weight of course). If you're aware of the intake/output process and you're still chowing down on 5 cookies everyday, then we've still got the problem.
And of course, we're not talking about SKINNY people here, we're talking about trim people, people of a healthy weight for their height and build.
Nor does it change the fact that if someone is HWP it doesn't automatically mean that they put any thought into it, let alone work for it.
So when you said this:
I would definitely say it's hypocritical to only want someone who takes care of themselves and can control their habits when you yourself can't even be bothered to balance your eating and Calorie burning.
You can see why I'm saying it not hypocritical. Many people who are HWP aren't bothered to balance their eating and caloric intake. Many don't work for it, they don't think about it, they stuff their face w/whatever gross and unhealthy thing they want in addition to not worrying with any output process and they stay HWP naturally.
The inference of your statements are that only HWP people have the right to have a preference for HWP, otherwise it is hypocritical. My only point is that, the premise is flawed when based on what you feel gives them that entitlement.
I'm only addressing the right to have a preference. Not fat vs. thin. | |
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